What Life Has To Offer, Part 2
by kruemi
Summary: Michaela and Sully know that they love each other. But will that be enough for sharing their lives? And there is still Hannah, who needs both of them…
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 

Dorothy Jennings was a slender, red-haired woman in her fifties, full of common sense and tenacity. She pulled her wagon into a halt in front of Colorado Springs' general store. Her sister Maude had spent her whole life here, but now she was gone. The last time Dorothy was there it had been for the funeral of her niece Abigail. She had witnessed how Abby's husband Sully abandoned their newborn child and ran away. The latest she knew was that Loren and Maude raised the child. She didn't know about the current situation but she was determined to help. Her own children were grown up and since her husband had died last fall she was all by herself. So Dorothy had decided to move to her brother-in-law, run his household and raise her sister's grandchild.

The town was still sleeping when she knocked at the door of the mercantile. After some moments Loren's angry voice was heard from inside. "Can't you read? I'm not open! Won't be open all day!"

With that he reached the front door and opened it. "Dorothy!" he exclaimed surprised. "How did you get here? The stagecoach comes in only a few hours!"

"I came with the wagon to bring my things. If you don't mind, I'm staying with you, Loren. I wanna help."

Loren didn't answer and just stepped aside to let her in. He wasn't in the mood for arguing. Maude's funeral would be at noon and he had to prepare himself. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to have someone else in the house. He was about to go upstairs again when his sister-in-law asked the next question. "Where is your granddaughter?"

Loren wasn't in the mood for talking either and simply replied, "At the clinic with the doc."

Dorothy was puzzled for a moment. At the clinic? Since when did they have a clinic here? It seemed that pretty much had happened during the past two years. But if the child was sick, it was her turn to take care of her now. "Where is the clinic, Loren? I will go there and bring her home."

Loren called back from the top step of the stair, "Aw, no need for that. But if you wanna see her, the clinic is in Charlotte's boarding house."

Michaela woke up by a sunbeam that sneaked into the recovery room through a gap between the curtains. To her relief she felt no dizziness when she slowly sat up. It would be a difficult day and she didn't want to faint again. It had been embarrassing enough that it happened two days ago. She couldn't even remember it and only knew what Sully had told her. Sully…Thinking his name was enough to make her blush like a young girl that was sweet on a boy for the very first time. Although he had frightened her, yelled at her and even hurt her when he kissed another woman right in front of her, she couldn't help it. His touch made her feel alive and when he uttered her name, she just forgot all the doubts she still had.

Michaela felt a strange feeling growing inside of her when she remembered yesterday afternoon. She had told Sully that she loved him! At that moment it had felt natural to say it and deep down she knew it was true. But thinking about it right now made her worry what that meant for their further relationship. She wasn't sure at all why he had chosen her. Was it because his daughter Hannah considered her as her Ma? Michaela couldn't think of any other reason, they still didn't know each other well enough to…

A light knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. After she had covered herself with the quilt again, she called, "Come in!"

It was Sully, carrying his daughter. His voice was soft. "Here is a little girl that wants to say good morning to her Ma."

Michaela instantly stretched her arms out. "Oh sweetheart, come here!"

Hannah looked hesitantly at her father as if she wasn't sure if she was allowed to do so. But when her Pa nodded and stepped towards her Ma, the little face beamed. Instantly clinging on to Michaela's neck after Sully sat her down next to her, Hannah reveled in the feeling of finally being back with her Ma.

Sully seated himself on the edge of the bed, watching his two favourite women. When Michaela hugged his daughter close with one hand on the child's back and the other cupping the blond-haired head, Sully covered the hand on the back with his. Sensing his gentle touch, Michaela immediately felt heat rising inside of her. She was sure her cheeks had to be flushed heavily.

Bending back to relish her mother's sight Hannah noticed the blush. _Had Paula been right? Did she make her Ma sick?_ Concerned she covered her Ma's cheeks with her little hands. _Hmm, they felt warm_. _But there was still another way to find out if she had a temperature._ Pouting her lips she touched her Ma's brow. It felt cool. With relief she turned to her Pa and informed him, "No fever."

Sully grinned. He hadn't been sure about Michaela's reaction when she saw him now for the first time after she confided her love to him. But seeing her blushing by his touch reassured him that it hadn't been a dream. He winked at his daughter and asked her, "Are you sure? Maybe I should check her by myself."

Bending towards Michaela he tenderly pressed his lips onto her forehead and lingered there for a moment. When he leant back again, he stared affectionately into those mismatched eyes, which didn't help to ease Michaela's blush.

Hannah giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. Her Ma and Pa looked like Matthew and Ingrid when they thought that no one was watching them. Oh, one moment, does that mean…? Now her Pa caressed her Ma's cheek with the back of his hand. Then the little girl knew it. Clapping her hands, she happily exclaimed, "Ma love Pa!"

If it was possible, Michaela's blush deepened even further and Sully chuckled, "That's right, sweet girl. She told me so."

Jake had helped Dorothy to bring her things from the wagon into the mercantile. Although Loren initially objected, she would live in Abigail's room for now. After she had already changed into the black dress for the upcoming funeral, she walked down the road towards the boarding house. She wanted to take the girl home to prepare her for the sad event.

Not paying attention to her surroundings, she stepped onto the clinic porch and almost bumped into Grace who was on her way to Dr. Mike, bringing her some breakfast. The two women weren't especially fond of each other and that's why they just greeted with a simple nod. Before either of them could knock, the clinic door opened and Colleen walked out. Dorothy immediately demanded, "I want to talk to the doctor, is he here?"

Colleen was too surprised at the harsh tone to correct the woman she hardly knew. Insecurely she looked at Grace for reassurance and replied looking back at the red-haired stranger, "I'm not sure if Dr. Mike is already awake. I can look if you want me to."

Dorothy was disgusted. "What kind of doctor is still sleeping at this time of the day? And who is looking after the child?"

Grace remembered why she didn't like Maude's sister. It seemed that woman had always an opinion about matters even if she didn't know the facts. "Dr. Mike has every right to sleep as long as she needs. Actually, she has saved so many lives during the last few weeks that she could stay in bed all day if she wanted to. And there is no need to worry about Hannah. Dr. Mike is practically her Ma by now and Sully tries hard to be a good Pa."

Dorothy tried to absorb what she just had heard. "So Dr. Mike is a woman?"

Colleen nodded eagerly, but before she could explain further, Michaela and Sully carrying Hannah in his arms, appeared from inside. "I heard my name, does anyone need my help?"

Dorothy looked at the petite woman in astonishment. "You are the doctor?"

Used to that reaction, Michaela smiled and held out her hand. "Dr. Michaela Quinn."

Trying to regain composure Dorothy replied, "Dorothy Jennings. I'm Maude's sister. I will be staying with Loren and I thought I could take care of the girl now."

"There is no need for that, Miss Dorothy." That was Sully speaking. "But thank you for the offer," he added. With that they left a stunned Dorothy behind and headed with Grace towards the livery to get the wagon.

On their way to the homestead, Hannah refused to let go of her Ma. It had been far too long since she had talked and snuggled up to her. That's why Michaela held her little girl on her lap. She knew she still had to explain to the child of what will come in only a few hours. "Sweetheart, you do know why you came back to Colorado Springs so suddenly, right?" Hannah nodded. "'ndma went to Heaven."

"That's right. We are going home now to change into black clothes because we will say good bye to your grandma in the churchyard at noon." Michaela waited and gave Hannah time to think about it. She knew there would be questions. And there came the first one.

"Why b…back?"

"People wear black clothes at a funeral to show that they are very sad."

A long moment of silence followed. Then the next question was asked, this time somewhat unsure. "'ndma want me sad?"

Michaela sighed. She had expected something like that. "Of course not, sweetheart. Your grandma wanted you to be a happy little girl."

Hannah nodded. Looking up at her Ma she said matter-of-factly, "Then I happy."

"What do you want to say, sweetheart?"

"I wear red dess." The little girl obviously knew what she wanted.

"Why's that?"

Hannah looked up at her Ma with confidence. "I love red dess. I be happy."

Michaela glanced at Sully who still hadn't said one word. "Well, that is alright with me. What do you say, Sully? Can she wear her favourite dress?"

Sully, who just became aware of the fact that he had to go to a funeral soon, didn't show any reaction and simply replied, "Sure."

They joined the other townsfolk on the churchyard an hour later and earned some odd looks because of Hannah's bright red dress. Dorothy couldn't understand why no one told the doctor that such a dress was more than out of place. She pulled at Loren's sleeve to gain his attention. "Loren, do you still have clothes for the girl in your house? I could look for something more appropriate. She can't be dressed like that at a funeral."

Loren glanced at his grandchild in her father's arm. She wore the gown that Maude had given her for Christmas. He knew that both Hannah and his wife loved the dress. "Aw, leave her be. Maude wouldn't mind…" Taking in a shaken breath, Loren tried to hold his composure. Dorothy shook her head and looked around if there was someone who could help her. But everyone avoided her gaze and so she gave in. Sighing silently, she promised herself that she would take care of the way the child was treated later.

Sully felt himself carried back to a similar day almost two years ago. He even stood at the same place because Maude's grave was right next to her daughter's. Staring down on Abigail's stone he wasn't aware that he pressed his daughter too tightly against his chest. He barely noticed that the Reverend had started his speech. Feeling transported to that terrible day when he had buried his wife, all the pain was back and he desperately tried to stop the tears in his eyes. He only noticed that Hannah spoke to him when she pulled with full force at his sleeve. "Pa, hurt me!" Sully looked around for Michaela and called her with his eyes. She immediately stepped closer and took his little girl from him. He thought that it was like a deja-vu, only the last time it had been Maude who took his daughter.

His mind was fixed on Abigail. There lay his young wife beneath the earth and would never see how their daughter grew up. And all that he had done the last several months was trying to win another woman's heart! Michaela stirred feelings inside of him he had never known before and that made him feel even guiltier. Sully didn't notice that the other mourners were about to leave the churchyard. He just needed to find a way to explain to Abigail that he still loved her and always would. He wanted to make it up to her that she hadn't been a part of his life during the past months. He should have been at her grave as often as possible to talk to her…

It was then that Michaela approached him tentatively. She had noticed the change in his mood and the look in his eyes frightened her. Now she only wanted to tell him that she and Hannah would be waiting for him at Grace's Café. When she lightly touched his arm, Sully's head shot up. There was the woman who had made him almost forget that he owed it to Abigail to carry her with him forever because she had made him the gift of his life sacrifying her own, Hannah. His voice was harsh as he snapped at her. "Can't you just leave me alone for once? I wanna be with my wife!"

Michaela was stunned. Recognizing the man full of pain and anger she had met more than half a year ago she knew that it would be a waste of time talking to him right now. Without speaking one word she turned and went away from him. Knowing that she hadn't done anything wrong to deserve his anger she straightened and raised her chin. She owed it to herself to not allow him to treat her that way. If he really wanted to be with her, he had to respect her. She didn't have to stand for a relationship that changed from one minute to another like the weather in April. She would rather bury her feelings for him than to be the ball of his emotions.

Although he instantly regretted his words by seeing the hurt he had put into her eyes, Sully remaind motionless without attempting to take back what he had said. He knew he had to sort out his feelings first. He needed time to think.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

With a great effort of will, Michaela kept her boiling emotions under control. Following the other townsfolk towards Grace's Café, she dismissed every thought about Sully, at least for the moment. Suddenly feeling exhausted beyond all measure again made it difficult to force her legs to move. She was far away from being recovered from the past few tumultuous weeks and she knew she had to use her strength sparingly. Hannah needed her right now and she wanted to be there for Loren as well. A light dizziness made her miss a step. Stumbling, she almost fell. Embarrassed, she looked around if anyone had noticed and momentarily met Hank's gaze.

The barkeeper had accidentally witnessed the exchange between Sully and the doc. He had never thought much of Sully, and how he had treated Michaela a few moments ago reaffirmed the saloon owner's opinion. Not that he was highly sensitive himself, but when he had carried Michaela into the clinic two days ago, something inside of him had been touched. Something about that woman was different, he just couldn't name it. And that soft hair of hers had tickled his forearm… Only a few steps away from her, he sensed when she stumbled and was ready to rush to her aid again. But meeting her eyes he knew, she didn't need any help. Not as long as she could walk by herself. Looking over her shoulder he saw how Sully left the graveyard and went towards the woods. "I sure hope he ain't gonna need as much time again to come back." His tone was mocking. Answering Michaela's questioning look he explained, "The last time I saw him acting like that, he needed more than a year to find his way to town again." Michaela knew that the saloon owner was only partly joking with his remark. Stopping, she turned around to watch Sully disappear into the woods.

Charlotte and Colleen, who carried Hannah, had decided to wait for Dr. Mike. When the three of them eventually walked again towards the café, the midwife assured her friend, "Don't you worry, the last time there were other circumstances. He hadn't slept for days, refused to eat and to speak. This time he was just reminded of the sad events in those days."

Michaela let the midwife's words sink in. As a doctor she immediately recognized the signs when she heard them summed up. Disturbed sleep, lack of appetite, refusal to talk; it must be melancholia. When she and her father had treated injured soldiers in an army hospital after the war, she had seen many cases of it. Other signs were mood swings, fits of rage and physical complaints. Sadly enough, she had first-hand experiences with his rage. Regarding the physical discomforts, she had to talk to Cloud Dancing. Feeling a part of her energy returning, Michaela was confident that not everything was lost.

Hannah didn't know what to do. All those black-dressed people with the grim faces frightened her. And her Pa had been angry, she had heard his voice because she had waited for him to come with her Ma. Had it been her fault? Paula had said if she talked to her Pa he would be angry and he sure was now. And her Ma's face was awful white. Could she be sick again? Propping her thumb into her mouth she leant back onto Colleen's shoulder and started to weep silent tears.

Michaela immediately reacted. She took her little girl from Colleen to carry her by herself. Pausing in her walk she gently lifted Hannah's chin so they could lock their eyes. "Is it about Grandma?"

The question was answered with a shake of the head. "About Pa?" The nod was followed by even more tears.

"Sweetheart, your Pa will be back. He only needs some time to be alone." Michaela watched if that reply was enough to calm Hannah down. It wasn't. Between heavy sobs the concerned mother discerned the words, "Me bad."

Hugging her child close, Michaela tried to sooth her. "Oh sweetheart, you are not bad and you've never been. What makes you say that?"

Between hickups the name Paula was heard. Puzzled, the doctor looked at Charlotte. "Who is Paula?"

Colleen was eager to explain. "That was an awful nanny Sully brought into town. But he sent her home again. She was really mean towards Hannah." Stepping closer, Colleen caressed her little friend's soft blond hair.

For a moment Michaela stood in bewilderment. It seemed that pretty much had happened during the time she and Sully had been apart. But that wasn't important right now. She had to take care of a distressed little girl. Bending back so she could see her face again, Michaela told Hannah, "Listen to me, sweetheart. Nothing of what had happened was your fault. Nothing at all. And you are the best little girl I've ever met. I am very happy to have you in my life. So is your Pa. Never ever doubt that. Alright?" The sobs slowly decreased.

A shy smile crossed the tear-stained face. "Me not bad?"

Michaela pulled her back against her chest. "Of course not. I love you, sweetheart."

Hannah sighed in relief. Her Ma had assured her she was a good girl. That meant, she could talk to her again without the fear of making her sick. And when she could talk to her Ma, she didn't have to be frightened anymore. All would be well again, she was sure of that now.

Sully had lost track of time. He roamed through the woods without a purpose. When it had become dark he became aware that he was near his lean-to. It seemed his instincts still worked, he thought sarcastically. Exhausted by the emotional turmoil inside of him, he let himself fall onto the furs which still lay there. But everytime he let his lids drop, Michaela's hurting eyes appeared. He didn't want to think about her, he didn't want to think at all. A man like him didn't deserve a woman's love. His wife was dead because of him, Michaela was hurting and his daughter would know he had abandoned her again. He was no use for anyone. They all did better without him. These were the only thoughts he had on his mind all night long. When dawn neared, he left his lair and started to roam again.

Michaela was on her way towards the reservation. She had made the decision to go there the evening before. Sully hadn't been seen again since the funeral and if he suffered from melancholia, she wanted him to be found so he could get the help he needed.

When she reached the edge of the Cheyenne village, she stopped Bear. Taking in the sight of the teepees, a disturbing thought crossed her mind. What if he had just decided to go back to his Indian family and live with them? She would make a fool of herself. Momentarily closing her eyes, she prepared herself for what she could find. She was here as the doctor and nothing else.

Eventually entering the village, she was immediately recognized and greeted. The Indians respected her for all she had done for them so as bringing food for the children and medicine against the White Man's desease; but since she had saved Chief Black Kettle's life, they admired her.

Hearing the commotion, Cloud Dancing stepped out of his teepee. After Michaela had pulled her horse up in front of him, he helped her down. "Haho, Dr. Mike. It is good to see you again."

Michaela smiled. Immediately feeling relaxed in his presence, she replied, "I'm very glad to see you as well."

But his next inquire brought the tension back. "How is my brother?"

With that her hopes were crushed and the concern for Sully's health returned. "Actually, I had hoped to find him here with you."

The medicine man looked at her in bewilderment. "Why do you hope that?"

Michaela knew it would be hard for Cloud Dancing as well. "He disappeared two days ago, after the funeral of Abigail's mother."

The Indian's face clouded over. The medicine man and the doctor gazed at each other in common concern. Michaela startled when she suddenly heard Flying Sun's voice. "I know where he is. I will bring him home."

For a split second, Cloud Dancing saw the hurt in Dr. Mike's eyes before she turned around to face the Indian woman. Not giving Michaela the chance to say anything, Flying Sun added, "I will go alone. He will only listen to me."

Now Snowbird joined the group. She was angry with the young woman. "I've told you…"

But Michaela stopped her with a gentle touch on her arm. "That's alright, Snowbird. We have to find him as soon as possible."

A triumphant smile crossed Flying Sun's face. Without another word she turned and left towards the woods.

Snowbird was symphatetic with her friend. "That must be difficult for you. When you were here the last time…"

Michaela didn't want to talk about it and hastily assured, "This is not important right now. I'm sure Sully suffers from melancholia and the longer he is alone out there the more dangerous it will be for his health. Any other problems don't count at the moment."

Snowbird slowly nodded. "I understand. Will you wait with us for their return?"

Michaela wasn't quite sure yet. What if her presence made it worse for him? But what if he needed her?

Cloud Dancing regarded Dr. Mike intently. She was an amazing woman, he thought. His wife had told him about the incident with Flying Sun. But nevertheless, the white woman was here now only thinking what would be best for his brother. If he wanted to help her with her decision, he had to know how things were between his friends. "Dr. Mike, is there something else we should know?"

Michaela instantly blushed. This was all Cloud Dancing needed for an answer. Smiling, he suggested, "You should stay, he will need you."

But Michaela had made up her mind. "But my presence might make it more difficult for him. He shouldn't have to consider how his disappearance affected me or his daughter, at least not right away. And I don't want to leave Hannah alone too long, it is already difficult for her to understand why her Pa vanished again. I'm not quite sure if I convinced her that this isn't her fault."

Cloud Dancing nodded. "I see. I will ask the spirits for help. When do we see you again?"

Michaela contemplated her options. She awaited the new teacher with the stagecoach at noon. In the afternoon she had a few appointments and then it would be too late for coming out here again because she didn't want Hannah to go to bed without her. Like she had said a few minutes ago, her little girl took Sully's absence hard and needed her Ma by her side.

Looking up to meet the medicine man's eyes she explained, "I can't be here till tomorrow at the same time. I have to think of Hannah first. I'm sure Sully will understand."

Sully had sought comfort in the peace of the woods, at his usual places. It hadn't helped. So he didn't pay any attention to his surroundings anymore and just walked on. The pain behind his eyes made it difficult to see, but he was still moving soundlessly. When suddenly a twig snapped under his moccasin, it was as if someone had slapped him awake. Immediately stopping, he looked around. He knew that place and he knew why the sound from before had brought him back into reality. Here he had seen Michaela for the very first time and a snapping twig had made her turn around so he could see her face. Her beauty had taken his breath away and he had considered her an angel. He didn't even know then that she raised his daughter and was the kindest character one could only wish to meet.

_Michaela! _His heart screamed for her. He didn't know what was worse, the feeling that he was betraying Abigail or the knowledge that he had hurt Michaela again. He was sure he had ruined everything.

Sitting down on _her_ log, Sully buried his face in his hands. He couldn't allow losing her. He wanted to be with his daughter and he needed Michaela in his life. How was he to repair the damage?

Suddenly becoming aware that he was hungry beyond all measure he wondered how long he had been away. What should he do? Go straight back to the homestead, hoping that she would forgive him? Could she? He needed advice and there was only one person who could give it to him. Sully stood up and walked into the direction of the reservation.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

As Michaela said goodbye to the medicine man and his wife, Sully reached the edge of the Indian village. Stopping there for only one moment to catch his breath, he jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Flying Sun's smiling face. Suddenly remembering that she was another unsolved problem between Michaela and him, a sharp pain shot through his temples making his vision blurred.

"What are you doing here?" His tone was harsh, but the Indian woman didn't mind. No one would know that she hadn't actually found him at one of the special places they had shared when he lived with them.

"I know you need help and so I was looking for you."

Sully was puzzled, but he didn't waste any time to ask any more questions. The need to see his brother became unbearable. Suddenly becoming aware of her hand still on his shoulder, he shrugged her off. His only fear at the moment was that his friend wasn't there but hunting or somewhere else. "Is Cloud Dancing in his teepee?"

Although she felt the rejection, Flying Sun's smile broadened. They all would see that she was the only one to find him. "Yes, I take you there."

Now Sully was in bewilderment. "No need for that, I know the way." He had no time to figure out what that woman was up to, so he just turned and started to enter the village of his family.

Cloud Dancing was about to return into his tent when he saw his brother approaching with Flying Sun right behind him. Acknowledging the woman with a slight nod, the medicine man told her, "Thank you for bringing him back."

Sully amended, "We just met. And what's that all about anyway?" His headache was increasing again.

Cloud Dancing saw his brother's eyes darken in pain. "You need treatment, my friend. Dr. Mike told us…"

Unbelievingly Sully interrupted, "Michaela was here?" He was stunned for a moment. "How could she, after all I did?"

The Indian smiled. "Because she cares for you. And as a doctor she knows that you are not yourself right now."

While his friend spoke, Sully's mind raced and there was one thought that stood out clearly against all the others, Michaela had been here to look for him! Maybe not everything was lost…

But Cloud Dancing then showed him an item on his outstretched palm. "She brought this for you."

Sully heart sank when he put his medicine pouch around his neck and swallowed hard. "She's giving it back?" He barely dared asking further. "Did she bring the beads, too?"

Now Snowbird interjected. She didn't want him to jump to the wrong conclusions. "Dr. Mike does not give it back, Sully. She said she thinks you need it. That is something else."

With renewed hope Sully's tone became urgent now. "When was she here?"

Watching Sully keenly, the medicine man knew he had to start with the healing ceremony as soon as possible. But first he had to calm his brother down and so his voice was low when he told him, "No need to worry, she does not mind if you want me to help you again. We can prepare a sweat lodge right away."

This was not what Sully wanted to hear, and his temper rose, "When, Cloud Dancing!"

The Cheyenne considered what to do. It was obvious his friend needed help. But maybe this time it was not his turn to take care of him. And when he felt the soft pressure of his wife's palm against his back, he answered, "She just left."

Sully's heart started to pound wildly. "Then I can still catch up with her! Please, I need a horse!"

Michaela knew that she had enough time left until the stagecoach would arrive. If she wanted, she could even go to her favorite place for a rest. She felt exhausted again although she had managed to sleep a few hours last night. But her concern for Hannah took over. The little girl missed her Pa terribly, that is why Michaela didn't want her to be too long without her Ma. She then decided that a brief stop would do her some good. When she approached the edge of the woods, she pulled her horse into a halt. Watching the landscape in front of her gave her mind a little sense of peace. The sun shone brightly from a deep blue sky that held a few dazzling white clouds which looked like fluffed cushions. The first fresh green hesitantly made its presence known and seemed to whisper, "There is always hope, even when the winter was icy."

Deeply inhaling the fresh, crispy air, Michaela forgot for just a few precious moments her concern to where Sully might be. Although a huge part of her didn't want that Indian woman to find him, she knew the longer he was alone out there the more difficult it would be to bring him back, not to a particular place but to himself.

Hearing the sound of a horse approaching, she stiffened. Who could that be? She rarely met anyone when she was in the woods. Maybe she should ride away as fast as possible, but her curiosity won and she turned to see who it was. The moment she recognized Sully, she felt the urge to spur her horse and flee from him. She didn't follow her impulse and so her legs just twitched. Then the doctor had herself under control.

Sully had seen the movement and was close enough to watch the last flickers of anger leaving her eyes. "Michaela, please, can we talk?"

He jumped down from his Indian pony and stepped next to Bear. Gripping for her reins he looked up at her. "Please, Michaela, give me a chance."

He didn't care that he sounded like a begging little boy. He had to make her talk to him. But tilting his head upwards, the sunlight hit his eyes full force and he winced as the familiar pain shot through his temples again. Shielding his eyes against the bright light he fell onto his knees and moaned.

Michaela instantly dismounted her horse and crouched down next to him. Laying one arm comfortingly around his back, she brushed his hair from his face with her free hand. "Sully, we have to take you out of the light first. Tell me where you want to go. Cloud Dancing told me he would like to take care of you as he did…"

"I wanna stay with you." His voice was barely audible.

Michaela needed to be sure. He would only be better when he was at a place he truly wanted to be. "Sully, I won't be angry if you'd rather be with…"

He interrupted her again. "I'm staying with you."

When they reached the clinic, their arrival attracted quite some attention. Although it wasn't even noon yet, some of Hank's costumers loafed around on the saloon porch and watched them. Michaela was glad that she didn't understand the comments within the drunken laughter clearly. The barkeeper leaned against a post, the unavoidable cigar between his fingers. "Look, who's back. Didn't your Injuns wanna keep ya this time or ain't Michaela allowing you staying there?"

Michaela's eyes shot daggers across the street but she didn't deign to answer him. While Sully was already entering the clinic, she dismounted her horse and was relieved seeing Matthew coming around the bend from Grace's café. "Matthew, if you have the time could you please take the horses to Robert E.?" After his reassuring nod she continued, "And after that I need the bath tub from Jake."

Sully sat on the edge of the bed with his face buried in his hands when Michaela entered the recovery room. He had changed here before the funeral and his usual clothes still lay on the rocking chair. The black suit he still wore was in a poor state by now.

"Sully, before you go to bed, I want you to eat something and to take a bath. Until Grace brings the food and the water is hot enough, I will try to ease your headache. Is that alright with you?"

He didn't answer and just moaned again. Watching him from the distance for just one more moment, Michaela decided that words were lost on him now. So she sprang into action and closed the curtains. The dimness seemed to help since Sully grew silent.

Stepping to his side, she gently touched his shoulder. "Lie down, please."

Looking up at her with pain-filled eyes, Sully grasped for her hand. "Can we talk, please?"

"We will, Sully, but not right away. First I want to ease your headache." When he started to object she gently pushed on his shoulders until he finally lay on his back. Sully instantly covered his eyes with his forearm and groaned again.

A soft knock came from the door and then Colleen's head poked into the room. "Dr. Mike? Can I help?"

Michaela smiled at the girl's eagerness. "Yes, you can. I need hot water for the bath tube and boiled water for the tea I have to prepare." When Colleen turned to leave, Michaela added, "Oh, how is Hannah?" The answer astonished her. "Miss Dorothy took her."

Michaela contemplated what to do. "Since I want her to sit with me at her father' side later, it would be nice if you go and bring her back. Could you do that for me?"

Colleen hadn't liked how Miss Dorothy just came and acted as if Hannah belonged to her, so there was nothing she'd rather do. "Sure, Dr. Mike."

After Charlotte's daughter left, Michaela began to straighten. Sensing that she was about to leave, Sully grasped for her arm. "Please, don't."

Gently taking his hand away, the doctor assured, "I'll be right back. I just have to gather some things."

When she returned, Sully sat propped up against the headboard. Opening his eyes, he searched for her gaze. "Michaela, I'm so sorry."

She knew that this wasn't the time for discussing problems. "We will talk later, Sully. First I want you to feel better."

"I won't until we talked." The growing tension when he waited for her reaction made the pain behind his forehead increasing again. Finally he couldn't take it any longer and patted the edge of the bed. "Sit with me, please."

Still remaining motionless in the middle of the room, Michaela's inner conflict was clearly written on her face. As the doctor she knew that the closeness could be comforting for the patient, but as the woman she was not sure if she was able to handle it. Sighing, she eventually gave in.

As soon as she sat next to him, Sully bent towards her and enveloped her into a tight embrace.

Burying his face into her hair he whispered, "Can you forgive me?"

Michaela let her eyelids drop. Feeling their bodies so close together made it difficult for her to think reasonable. She knew that his outburst at the graveyard had two sides. On the one hand the renewed memory of his terrible loss just two years ago had caused a relapse into the melancholia again, but on the other hand that meant he wasn't really over his wife's death. Without that, any relationship likely condemned to fail. As much as she cared for him, she couldn't do that to herself, going through this and not knowing if he ever would be ready. She just didn't know how to explain that to him without giving him more emotional pain right now.

Sensing her hesitation, Sully felt fear engulfing him. Loosening their embrace he bent back and framed her face in his palms. When he gazed at her, the color of his eyes had turned into a dark grey.

Choking up he implored, "You must believe me, Michaela. I didn't mean to yell at you the way I did. I don't know what had gotten into me, I just…" His voice trailed off.

Seeing his pain, Michaela almost couldn't bear it. "I know what you want to tell me, Sully. And I know that it was a painful situation for you. But when we are under emotional stress and don't control our speech, we often say what we really think." She paused for a moment and momentarily closed her eyes so she could avoid his pleading gaze. Taking a deep breath, she braced herself for what she thought had to be said now.

Sully knew what she was thinking. He made it out in her eyes which were now looking back at him again. He couldn't let it happen. He had to be honest. Taking her hand in his and pressing it against his cheek he admitted in a wavering voice, "I felt guilty because I love you so much."

With that he had unarmed her. What should she do now? Suddenly aware of his stubbles under her palm, all the sensations which rushed through her body when she was close to him came back to her full force. The rising heat made her blush and when Sully noticed that, he sighed in relief. His headache was gone for this moment at which he could hope. He lifted her hand from his cheek a few inches and turned his head to kiss her palm.

Michaela knew that all their problems were still there, but feeling his soft, warm lips on her sensitive skin she just whispered, "Oh Sully!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

She had tried to reason with Loren, she really had. But all he had said was, "Aw Dorothy, just leave them be. They are doing fine." After Loren didn't get ready to support her in bringing his grandchild back home, Dorothy decided to take matters in her own hands. The child should grow up in stable surroundings. Since she, Dorothy Jennings, was determined to stay with her brother-in-law, the mercantile would be the perfect place to raise the girl. Only God knew where Hannah's father was right now, after running away again. At Grace's Café, she had heard that he either lived with the Indians or in the woods. What a father, that poor child! She couldn't understand why Loren had agreed in letting the lady doctor take Hannah in. He had told her that Dr. Mike often gave his granddaughter away when she thought she'd rather work then be a mother. Finding the girl in the care of just another girl this morning, Dorothy knew she was right. Knowing by experience with her own three children how to treat a toddler, she would first spoil Hannah a little to make her feel at ease with her. Although only after a few hours with her niece's daughter, she had to admit that she was a well-bred cute little thing, but some improvements needed to be made . For example, something should be done about these wild curls bouncing around with every move of the child's little head. It must be quite a task to comb them out in the evening!

Dorothy placed Hannah on top of the counter. "You know what? We should do something with your hair. It is far too long to wear it the way you do."

Hannah was puzzled. First she had thought it was nice that the red-haired woman took her to the mercantile. She had told her that grandpa wanted her to come, though he wasn't there yet. Then the woman had said she could call her aunt Dorothy. Having a new aunt was nice as well, but she began to feel uncomfortable. She didn't want all that candy. Ma had explained that this wasn't good for her appetite right before lunch. And what was wrong with her hair? "I want hair like Ma."

Dorothy was surprised. They had told her about her mother? "Well, your Ma had beautiful long black hair when she was your age, but she didn't wear it open. Your grandma always plaited it. We should do that with your hair, too."

Hannah hesitantly nodded. If her Ma had it that way then it was alright with her. The only thing that didn't sound right was about the black hair. She didn't know all the colors yet, but wasn't her Ma's hair brown?

When Michaela and Sully entered the examining room, it was already steamy. Matthew had filled the bath tub with hot water. The doctor ordered, "Please, take off your clothes, and in the meantime I will add some herbs to the water."

Sully hesitated. Did she really want him to shed his entire garb? He was sure she hadn't thought about it carefully about what she'd just said, but since she was the doctor, he would gladly comply. Grinning to himself despite the still lingering headache, he began to take off his jacket and shirt.

After Michaela had mixed dried lavender into the water, she straightened and turned towards Sully. She didn't look at his face but noticed his bare chest. Having not seen the scar for a while, she stepped closer to him. She laid one hand lightly against his chest. Probing the almost white line with the fingertips of the other hand, the doctor was pleased. "It looks really good, Sully. I'm glad…"

Michaela was startled when he grasped her hands. "What…"

Sully cut her off. "It's not such a good idea when you touch me like that."

Michaela instantly protested, "I'm just examining your scar, Sully." But when she looked up at his face, she stopped talking. His blue eyes were burning with desire and she now noticed that his breathing had quickened. Blushing heavily, she took a step back. She suddenly became aware that she stood in front of the half-naked man who could arouse such feelings within her she'd never known before. And right now they all came back to her. For a few moments she couldn't help herself but stare at his broad chest that was covered with slightly curled fine hair. How would it feel to…Instantly forbidding herself such thoughts she stepped back from him further. "I'm …uh…Well…" She swallowed and averted her eyes. "Well, I hope you have everything you need, I better go now." Hastily, she left the room.

Sully heaved a sigh of relief. That was close. He didn't want to scare her. Their relationship was much too fragile for that at the moment. Taking a few deep breaths, he eventually continued taking off his clothes so he could finally take his bath.

After Michaela left Sully, she hurried towards the mercantile. Colleen had come back without Hannah, informing that Miss Dorothy said the child would now stay with her and Loren. _"The child!_ _And who did she think she was to make such a decision?_" Although silently fuming about these words, Michaela tried to keep her anger under control.

Reaching the fire tower, she suddenly remembered that the stagecoach would be here any minute. Well, she was sure that Mr. James would wait if she didn't make it on time to meet him here. Finally entering the mercantile, she was stunned for a moment. Hannah sat on a chair behind the counter, her hands folded in her lap and her fair hair hanging down in neatly plaited braids on either side of her head. It was as if there sat a strange child.

That fleeting impression instantly vanished because now her little girl climbed down from her seat and rushed towards her. Michaela stooped down to pick her up. Hannah instantly buried her face in the crook of her Ma's neck, sighing contentedly. Michaela chuckled. "I'm glad to see you too, sweetheart."

Their moment was broken by Dorothy who indignantly stated, "That's hard to believe after you left her alone all morning."

The doctor knew she had to stay calm for Hannah's sake. "Well, I wouldn't call it alone when she is with her best friend in the clinic."

However, Dorothy was ready for the battle. "And I wouldn't say that a clinic is a proper place for a child to stay at all."

While attempting to keep her temper under control, Michaela suddenly became aware that Hannah held a strand of her almost coppery shimmering hair and intensely looked at it. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

The little girl frowned. "That no back, right?"

"No, it is rather brown. Why do you think it should be black?"

"Aunt Dorthy said."

Dorothy impatiently corrected. "I told you that you mother had black hair. Dr. Mike is not your mother, Hannah."

Instantly Michaela and the child in her arms tensed up. Because Michaela couldn't allow herself to speak out loud what she wanted to say right now, she just silenced Dorothy with a furious glare. Bending back she searched for her little girl's gaze. Seeing the frightened look in the blue eyes, she hastily assured, "Of course I am your Ma. I always will be. You know that, right?" She felt Hannah relax. Clutching her daughter against her chest she whispered, "And I have a surprise for you."

Leaning back to see her mother's face, the little girl asked expectantly, "Surpise for me? Is good?"

Michaela smiled. "Well, let's see. The surprise is in the clinic, taking a bath right now. Although he has a terrible headache he wants to see and hug you."

"Pa back!" Hannah squealed in excitement.

Her Ma laughed and added, "We will go to him right after we meet a new friend. How does that sound?" She had heard the stage coach arriving and knew it was time to go.

In the meantime Dorothy was ready to resume their argument. "What kind of mother would…"

But Michaela cut her off. "Do you really think we should discuss that at this moment? My daughter and I are going now." Kissing her little girl's temple she told her, "Say good by to aunt Dorothy, sweetheart."

The emphasis on the word aunt was only audible for the adults. Forcing a smile on her face when Hannah waved her greeting, Dorothy promised, "We are not done here, _Dr._ Quinn."

With Hannah still in her arms, Michaela stepped up to Mr. James. He looked exactly the way she remembered him, tall and handsome. His smile was kind as it was when they've met the last time. "It's very nice to see you again, Dr. Quinn." He didn't try to shake her hand but lightly tipped the little girl's nose. "And it's nice to meet you as well."

Putting her index finger in her mouth, Hannah shyly turned away. Chris laughed good-naturedly. "It seems she is careful with her acquaintances."

Michaela couldn't remember the last time when she had felt so relaxed in the presence of a man, maybe she never had before. Her eyes sparkled when she introduced, "This is my daughter Hannah." She still reveled in the sound of that word. "Unfortunately her father is sick. We have to return to the clinic as soon as possible and can't accompany you to the schoolhouse as I had planned. I will however come with you to Robert E. He will help you with your luggage."

After they had organized everything with the blacksmith, they headed towards the clinic. Stopping right in front of it, the doctor said her goodbye to the new teacher and apologized again for not having time at the moment.

Mr. James didn't mind. "I understand that you have a patient, and since he is family he is even more important. Please tell Mr. Quinn I hope he will feel better soon." Michaela was in bewilderment. "Mr. Quinn?"

Now the teacher was puzzled. "You said this is your daughter." He gave Hannah a wink which made the little girl giggle. Looking back at Michaela, he added, "And that her father is sick at the clinic. Since you are Dr. Quinn, I concluded that your husband's name is Mr. Quinn. If I'm wrong, I hope you overlook my mistake."

Michaela couldn't help but grin. "Well, I'm glad the teacher of this town is able to draw conclusions, but this time they are wrong. We are not married and the name of Hannah's father is Sully."

"Hmm." It was obvious that he was thinking hard now. Eventually he shrugged. "Okay, I'm giving up. Maybe you can tell me about your relationship later, only if you want of course." Michaela silently added for herself, "If there is one." Out loud she replied, "I hope we can all have dinner together soon."

Before Chris could respond, Hank's deep voice was heard from across the street. "Already a new suitor, Michaela? That's awful quick, all the more for you."

Michaela sighed in exasperation and explained, "This is Hank, he owns the saloon. He likes to be sarcastic, just ignore him."

Chris chuckled, "It rather looks as if he is sweet on you." Michaela's reaction to this was a loud amused laugh. "I've never heard anything more absurd!"

Inside the clinic Sully had heard every word of their talk. After the bath with all the herbs Michaela had added, he felt tired and needed fresh air. That's why he had opened the window. He had never before heard that Michaela called Hannah her daughter. Does that mean what he hoped it would? However, listening to her laughter now he asked himself when it has been the last time that she was cheerful in his presence. He couldn't remember. Maybe it would be better for her if he… Before Sully could finish that thought, the door was carefully opened. Sitting up, he saw his daughter tentatively entering the room. It hurt him to notice the almost apprehensive look on the little face. "Come here, sweet girl," he beckoned.

Hannah still hesitated. Ma had just explained to her that Pa had a terrible headache. That's why he had been in the woods, because it was always quiet there. She wished he had asked her to come with him. She would have helped him and he wouldn't have to be alone.

Hannah had often seen how her Ma straightened up before she started with a difficult task as kneading dough for bread or talking to Mister Hank. So she did the same now and marched to her father's side.

Sully couldn't help but grin when he saw his child walking like a small version of Michaela. Hannah was pleased. Her Pa already smiled. She climbed up the bed and sat down so she was facing him. Taking his large hand in hers she assured, "All be good. We here now."

Sully felt a growing lump in his throat. His voice cracked slightly when he stroke his girl's cheek with the back of his hand. "You sure make me feel better, thanks."

Hannah beamed. When her Pa was well again, they had to talk. It was not good for him to be alone so often. She slightly shook her head and then sighed. "What I do with you?"

When her Pa chuckled hearing her words, she grinned and slid towards him and made herself comfortable in his arms.

Eventually entering the recovery room as well, Michaela carried a cup of fresh made willow bark tea. Putting it down on the nightstand, she asked concerned, "How are you feeling?"

Before Sully could reply Hannah informed the doctor, "He better. He laughed."

Michaela smiled at her. "And I'm sure that has something to do with you."

Looking at Sully she raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Did the bath help?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm quite tired though."

Michaela was satisfied. "Well, actually this was the purpose. You were to relax and since it obviously worked, I suggest a nap is in order. And that little girl beside you can use one as well."

Father and daughter slid down until they lay together. Michaela covered them with the quilt and then she bent over Sully to give Hannah a goodnight kiss. She propped herself up with one hand next to his shoulder. Leaning down she gave her girl a peck and then she lost her balance. For a moment she lay on top of Sully. Hannah giggled delightedly, but Michaela's embarrassment knew no bounds. Hastily trying to get up again she murmured, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

Sully supported her with his hands on her waist. He let them linger there a moment, looking up into her eyes . His tone was soft when he assured her, "No harm done."

Once again unable to move because their eyes were locked, Michaela still hovered over Sully, now with her hands next to either side of his shoulders.

Still giggling, because she thought her Pa and her Ma were so funny, Hannah advised, "Pa need kiss, too."

With an almost cheeky grin Sully confirmed, "Without that kiss I can't go to sleep."

Michaela smiled despite herself and rolled her eyes. "Alright, I will look at it as a treatment."

She bent down to give him a peck on the cheek as well, but Sully turned his head slightly and their lips met. Instantly the already familiar avalanche of feelings engulfed them. Michaela felt his hands pulling her back against him and Sully sensed how her lips grew hungrier. Fortunately the laughter of their daughter brought them back to reality. Finally straightening Michaela said, "I have some cleaning up to do. Sleep well, both of you."

When she reached the door, she glanced back at Sully. He adoringly stared at her. She shyly smiled back and left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 

Michaela cleaned and aired the examination room and then went back to look after Sully and Hannah. She tentatively opened the door. The little girl had fallen asleep in her father's arms. Sully's eyes were closed as well but it wasn't obvious if he slept or just rested. Michaela waited a moment and when he didn't stir, she decided she could leave them alone for some minutes. She had to talk to Dorothy Jennings.

When the doctor entered the mercantile a few moments later, she spotted the red-haired woman in the back behind the display of books. With determination Michaela went to her and began. "Mrs. Jennings, we have to set some things straight and I think Loren should be here, too. Where is he?"

Dorothy wasn't impressed in the least. "I won't speak about family affairs with a stranger, Dr. Quinn. And as for Loren, I haven't seen him down here for days. He said he wants to stay for himself for a while."

Instantly, Michaela was worried. That didn't sound like Loren. "How long has he been this way?"

But Dorothy cut her off. "That's his decision to handle his grief, nothing for you to be concerned about."

Michaela took a deep breath. This woman was starting to annoy her. "Well, I disagree. I will go and look after him." With that, she pivoted and started to walk up the stairs.

Putting her hand on top of Michaela's on the railing and looking up at her, Dorothy made clear what she meant. "A woman shouldn't tell a man what he has to do and what not."

In response, a frosty gaze shot from Michaela's two distinctly different coloured eyes. "Then we are lucky. I'm not here as a woman. I'm a doctor." Freeing her hand from the other woman's grasp, she continued to go up the stairs.

Since Dorothy still had some more steps to make before she could ascend as well, Michaela reached the bedroom of the storekeeper first. Lightly knocking on the door, she announced, "It's me, Loren. I'm coming in now."

Entering the room, the doctor was instantly alarmed. The curtains were closed and it was stuffy. Loren sat on a chair next to the bed and stared straight ahead without seeing anything. His breakfast was still on the nightstand, untouched. Michaela's heart went out to the old man. She sat down on the edge of the bed and took one of his hands in hers. "Loren…"

Hearing her soft voice, it was as if he woke up from a dream. He turned his head to look at her. "Dr. Mike, I..." His voice was hoarse. Averting his eyes, he fell silent again.

Michaela squeezed his hand. "What is it, Loren? Tell me." Her tone was soothing and that was his undoing. The tears he had held back all the days since the funeral finally found their way out. First they just rolled down his face, but then the dam burst and his whole body began to shake. Michaela pulled him into a comforting embrace and assured, "It is alright, Loren. Just let it out."

Between suppressed sobs, the widower said in a wavering voice, "She ain't… coming back… never…"

Michaela swayed back and forth with him. "I'm so sorry… I'm terribly sorry…"

Dorothy still stood on the treshold of the bedroom door, gaping at the scene before her. She had never seen her brother-in-law that way. What should she do? She couldn't let the doctor take over. This was her, Dorothy Jennings', home now. Clearing her throat she began, "Well, Dr. Quinn, I'm sure we can manage without you…" But neither the doctor nor her brother-in-law listened to her.

Eventually regaining his composure, Loren leant back. "I'm all alone, Dr. Mike. First Abigail and now my wife…"

Michaela smiled at him. "There is still a little girl who loves you very much. And she is eager to see her grandpa as soon as you are ready for it."

This was Dorothy's cue. "Speaking about the child, I would say she should come home to her real family now."

Michaela had enough. Giving Loren's hand a final gentle squeeze, she straightened. Looking the red-haired woman directly into the eyes, she didn't hold back with her opinion. "If you were her real family, Mrs. Jennings, you would care for more than just Hannah's appearance. You would consider her feelings and try to help her through life and not make it worse with thoughtless remarks about her mother. And what makes you think you are more of a family for her than her own father? He already built a home for his daughter, there is no need for a new one."

The women stared at each other, neither giving an inch. Eventually Dorothy replied, "Here the child would have a grandfather and an aunt who are always there for her. Always, Dr. Quinn. Not only during a break between two patients or when the father is not running away for once." With that, Dorothy stooped speaking, her expression triumphant. These were the arguments the doctor couldn't beat.

To both of the women's surprise Loren spoke. "Aw, Dorothy, leave her be. Dr. Mike is right. Hannah is doing fine where she is. And Sully just took off again because,"…He had to pause for a moment to find the strength for his next words. "Because he was reminded of Abby and that was too much…" The old man's tears came back. Michaela instantly stepped to him and laid her hand gently on his shoulder. "Loren, Hannah is in the clinic with Sully. I think it would be good if you came with me to see her. I know that she missed you terribly this morning when she was here. And the fresh air would be good for you as well. What do you think?"

Although Dorothy didn't like how the doctor took things in her hands again, she didn't say anything this time. Loren's words had given her an idea.

Sully sat on a chair on the porch of his homestead. With closed eyes he relished the warm sun on his face.

"Sully!" Her voice was soft, exactly the way he remembered it.

"Sully, wake up! We have to talk." Her tone became more insistent.

"Uhm…" He didn't dare to open his eyes. It couldn't be true, he had to be dreaming.

"You don't have to be afraid, just look at me." Sully sensed her impatience and eventually complied. His gaze fell right into a sea of sparkling blue. He immediately tensed up.

"Shh, there's nothing to worry about. You can have your family back, you know that." Her expression became seductive and she caressed his face.

Sully shook his head. Doing so, he looked over her shoulder and saw Michaela approaching. Panic began to rise inside of him and he tried to get rid of her hands. But the woman bent towards him and he felt a gentle peck on his lips.

"It's gonna be alright, you will see." She leant back and smiled at him.

But Sully's eyes searched for the woman he loved. He didn't have even the slightest doubt about his love for her anymore. When he saw her figure leave the yard, he called out, "Michaela!"

His face was showered with tiny kisses now and a little voice begged, "Pa, wake up! Papa!"

With great difficulty, Sully forced his eyes open and his gaze fell upon his daughter's face. _A dream. It had been a dream. _He took a deep breath to steady his heartbeat.

Hannah was frightened. Her Pa had started tossing and turning in bed a few minutes ago. She had tried to soothe him. Maybe her hands weren't big enough to stroke his cheeks because after she did so, it became even worse. When he had called for her Ma she had done what her Ma always did when she had a bad dream, she had given him a lot of kisses. Now her Pa was awake, but the way he stared at her made her wish her Ma was here.

At this moment the door was tentatively opened. Michaela's smile faded when she saw the confusion on the faces in front of her. She hurried towards the bed and took care of Hannah first. Lifting her into her arms, she asked, "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

The first tears began to roll when she little girl answered, "Pa had bad deam." Burying her face in her mother's chest, she began to cry.

Sully felt terrible. After rising from the bed as well, he stroked his daughter's back and tried to calm her. "I'm sorry, sweet girl. I didn't mean to frighten you." His voice cracked.

Michaela knew she had to act quickly or they all would be in tears very soon. Turning towards the door, she called, "Loren, come in please. Here is a little girl that wants to see you!"

Seeing her grandpa, Hannah's face immediately lit up. "Go walk?"

Michaela was relieved that her daughter seemed to be alright again. "That is a splendid idea, sweetheart. Sunshine and the fresh air will be good for both of you."

Looking at her Pa, Hannah hesitated. Sensing her fear, Michaela assured, "I will take care of your Pa."

After Loren and Hannah had left for a stroll across the meadow, Michaela paid all her attention to Sully. He had leant back again and covered his eyes with one hand. His chest rose and fell far too quickly. She knew he was crying and didn't want her to see it. "Sully, I will leave you alone again. I'm in the examination room. If you want me to come back, just call."

"Please don't leave," he said, gripping her arm with his free hand. His voice was thick with emotion. "I'll be fine in a moment."

The doctor assured him. "It's alright, Sully. I'll make you some more tea and be back in a minute." He let go of her arm.

After Michaela had left the room, Sully rose from the bed. He stepped to the window and looked out without noticing what he saw. His heart still raced. Cloud Dancing had taught him that dreams were the spirits telling either of things from the past or the future. It must have been a future dream, but he didn't understand it. Abigail couldn't return to him, that's for sure. But Michaela had left. He couldn't let that happen. Whatever that dream wanted to tell him, he had to make sure that she stayed. But how? And then he knew it. If she agreed, they would have made a commitment to each other. She already knew that he never broke his word and she never would either.

The doctor returned from the examination room with a fresh cup of camomile tea. She hoped it would soothe Sully's nerves. When she entered, he was still standing at the window, but he immediately turned around when he heard her. Michaela placed the cup on top of the nightstand. "Do you want to lie down again, Sully? This tea could help…" She grew silent when she saw him shaking his head.

He stepped to her and took her hands in his. Looking down on them, Sully inhaled deeply. "Michaela, I know I've made many mistakes. I know I even hurt ya. But one's for sure…" He swallowed hard and lifted his head to look at her face. She averted her eyes but didn't move away from him. "Michaela, I never meant for those things to happen. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Hearing that, she couldn't help but smile. "A promise?" Looking up at him, she raised an eyebrow. Encouraged by her almost playful gesture, his hopes rose that she wouldn't turn him down. Smiling back at her, Sully assured, "A promise. And there is more." Pausing again, he tried to pluck up the courage to ask the vital question. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead and his hands began to shake.

Michaela grew concerned. "What is it, Sully? You can tell me."

Hearing her gentle voice he finally blurted it out, "I'd like to start courting. Would you?"

Michaela was stunned. What should she do? There were still a hundred of questions and problems. What about Flying Sun? What about Wells, would he go back? They still hadn't talked about any of it. But looking up at him again, she was mesmerized by what she saw. His eyes were shining in the purest blue she'd ever seen. His gaze penetrated hers and when he reached her soul, Michaela knew if she said yes, she would expose it to him. Was she ready for that step? When she watched his eyes darkening, she knew that he had given her his soul by asking this question as well. A smile lightened her face when she told him, "I would like that, too."

Sully heart skipped a beat. _She had said yes!_ With a flowing move he pulled her into his arms. Now he could start his life again. Burying his face in her hair he whispered, "You ain't gonna regret that. I promise."

They stood for a while in a tight embrace, both of them lost in their own thoughts. He swore to himself to never let her go again and she prayed she had made the right decision. Bending back at the same moment to look at each other, their smiles met. Hers was shy and his was happy. Both knew they would kiss now. Although it wasn't for the first time, Sully's heart began to race again. They were courting and her lips were his! Michaela felt her knees wavering, but she could allow herself being weak because his strong hands were hers now! Sully bowed his head and Michaela lifted her face. They gazed at each other adoringly and when their lips finally touched, both closed their eyes and got carried away in the new feeling of oneness.

They didn't know yet that in just a few days Sully's nightmare would come true.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

Sully couldn't remember the last time he had felt so happy. He wanted to tell the whole world that Michaela and he were courting. Well, first Hannah and Loren would hear the news and the new couple was almost on its way to meet them now.

When they left the clinic, Sully stepped down from the porch while Michaela was locking the door. As soon as she turned to follow him on the somewhat muddy road, he held out his hand to support her.

"Sully!" She couldn't help but laugh. "I've stepped down here a hundred times!"

"It's slippery and I don't wanna see you fall," he insisted. Though feeling a little strange about all the attention Sully was paying to her, Michaela secretly reveled in the new situation. She had never felt so cherished before. When they started to walk towards the bridge, she felt his strong hand protectively lying on the small of her back.

Hank, leaning in his usual posture against a post of his saloon porch, watched them. Seeing Sully acting like an eager little watchdog and Michaela blushing as if she were a school girl, convinced him that there was something going on between the two of them. It seemed Sully had managed to crack the shell the good doctor had lived within so far. Raising an eyebrow, he smirked after them. From what he knew of the two of them, this relationship would become interesting to observe.

Loren sat with Hannah on the bench that was built around the trunk of the huge oak in the graveyard. He felt a little more at peace with himself. Dr. Mike had been right in sending him outside to inhale the fresh air and feel the sun on his face. His granddaughter had been mumbling all the time it took them to walk out here, but now she had grown silent as well, sensing her grandpa's need for silence in this place.

Eventually directing his gaze towards the town, Loren saw Dr. Mike and his son-in-law approaching. Something about them was different, but the old man couldn't tell what it was. Suddenly Hannah noticed her Ma and her Pa as well. With an imploring look she gazed at her grandpa. "Aw, just go, I don't mind," he answered her unspoken question.

That was all the little girl needed to start running towards her parents. When she came closer to them, she noticed their happy faces and that her Pa was even holding her Ma's hand! Her heart started to pound wildly. Did that mean everything was finally well again?

Seeing his daughter toddling towards them, Sully's heart nearly burst with joy. He would have his family! He gave Michaela's hand a gentle squeeze before he let go of her and then he took a few fast steps until he met Hannah. He stooped down to pick her up and lifted his little girl above his head, making her squeal with excitement.

Loren felt himself relax seeing this little scene. It was a piece of normal life, without the constant feeling of a heavy heart. Growing curious, he wondered what had happened to change the mood between Dr. Mike and Sully so drastically. He decided to just ask. "What's going on, Sully?"

Pulling Hannah back against his chest, the proud father was happy to give away the news. "We're courtin'!"

Hearing this, Loren's tears threatened to come back. Inhaling a shaking breath, he said with a hoarse voice, "Maude would have been happy to know that." Quickly brushing a tear away, he smiled at the doctor. "But you've told her, right? That's why she was so calm in the end."

Casting Sully a sidelong glance, Michaela blushed and admitted, "I promised her to stay Hannah's mother as long as I could."

Sully was surprised, "Ya did?"

Slightly embarrassed, she replied, "It's no secret that I love this little girl." She tickled Hannah's side which heightened the toddler's delight. "And it was Maude's last wish, how could I deny her that?"

Loren swallowed hard. "I ain't forgetting that, Dr. Mike. I owe ya."

But Michaela didn't want to hear that. "You owe me nothing. I did it for Maude and for Hannah."

The next few days seemed to just fly by. Michaela and Sully had resumed the rhythm of life they had shared when Sully had built the schoolhouse. For Hannah it was as if her father lived with them in the old homestead. He was still there when her Ma put her to bed and when they had breakfast, he was there as well. But something had changed. Her parents always smiled when they looked at each other and when they thought she didn't watch they even kissed. Every night before she fell asleep, she spoke a secret extra prayer that life would stay that way.

The following Saturday the three of them had lunch at Grace's Café. Michaela and Sully were sitting facing each other while Hannah was placed at the head of the table next to them. They were so caught up in talking about their plans for the afternoon and evening, they didn't pay attention to their surroundings. Suddenly Sully stopped talking. Looking over Michaela's shoulder, he saw two women coming towards their table. Recognizing the younger one his heart first skipped a beat and then began to pound wildly. He rose from his chair and whispered, "Abby!"

Michaela had watched him with growing concern. When she saw his face draining of all colour, she wanted to cover his hand on the table with hers, but he straightened at the same moment and took it away from her. Then, hearing him uttering his late wife's name, the doctor was instantly alarmed. "Sully? What's wrong?"

He didn't answer, he just kept staring at someone behind her.

In the meantimea young woman left Dorothy's side and rushed towards Sully. Throwing her arms around his neck she hugged him tightly and squealed with delight, "Sully! Mother told me only now that you are back. I'm so glad to see you again!" Bending back to catch his reaction, she noticed his pale and confused face.

Dorothy quickly explained, "This is my daughter Mary. Don't you remember her? I asked her to come here to help you with your daughter."

Still in shock, Sully didn't move. Mary, however, turned towards Hannah, lifted her up from her chair and into her arms. "Aw, you are cute. My name's Mary, I'm sure we will get along just fine."

Hannah was totally confused. Why should she get along with a stranger? What was the matter with her Pa? He wasn't saying a word and was just staring at the young woman holding her. Her Ma seemed to be too stunned to speak as well. Finally she stretched her arms towards Michaela and pleaded, "Ma, pease." She squirmed in the strange woman's arms until she was in the safe haven of her mother's embrace.

Mary was puzzled. "Ma? I thought…"

Dorothy cut her off. "We can clarify that at supper this evening. Sully, I want you and your daughter to join us at seven o'clock. Don't be late, I will cook a special meal to mark the occasion."

Finally Sully found his voice again. What was Miss Dorothy thinking? Still staring at Mary he responded, "There are three people in our group, Miss Dorothy."

But the red-haired woman dismissed his remark. "It will be just our family, Sully, my brother-in-law, my daughter, the husband of my niece, his daughter and me. It will be the reunion of our family. We will see you at seven o'clock sharp." She didn't give him another chance to object. Gripping her own daughter's arm, Dorothy practically dragged her away. Almost running next to her mother, Mary turned to Sully and playfully shrugged. "See you tonight, Sully. I can't wait!"

Sully still stood for some moments before falling back onto his chair. What did this all mean? Suddenly remembering his dream, a wave of panic engulfed him. He would lose Michaela because of Mary! He couldn't let that happen. Raising his head to search for her eyes, he noticed the concerned expression on her beautiful face. Somehow he had to convince her to stay with him. The first thing he could think of was to implore, "Michaela, please don't give up on me."

Michaela was puzzled. "Why should I? Just tell me…"

Sully didn't let her finish. Grasping for her hand on top of the table as if it were his lifeline, he promised, "I'll tell you everything. Mary was still a kid the last time I saw her. I think she was twelve or so. She and Abigail were really close. She spent all her vacations in Colorado Springs." Sully paused a moment. Taking a deep breath, he eventually continued, "Abby told me that Mary was sweet on me. We found that amusing; as I told you, she was just a kid. She even helped us to elope. After that her mother forbade her to visit us again. But she and Abby wrote letters to each other until the end." Sully's voice trailed off. He remembered Mary being always in a good mood and constantly getting into mischief. He had liked her back then. She still seemed to be nice but he didn't need her in his life. It was astonishing how she looked like Abigail when he first met his future wife though…Instantly dismissing that thought, he made a decision. Gently stroking the back of Michaela's hand with his thumb, he looked into her eyes again. "I just ain't going this evening. We stick to our plan…"

Michaela covered his hand with her free one. "Sully, Mrs. Jennings was right about one thing, you are a member of her family. You don't have to give that up because of me."

Sully shook his head. His dream haunted him. "No, Michaela, I don't wanna get mixed up in that trouble. I'm so glad that we are finally together that I ain't willing to take any risk."

Michaela smiled despite her worries. She knew exactly what Dorothy planned. But she had to make sure that Sully really wanted _her_, even when there were other women from his past around, so she tried to reassure him, "Avoiding problems won't solve them, Sully. You should go. I'm sure I will find some way to to spend the evening."

Sully gazed at her in admiration. Michaela never ceased to amaze him. It was obvious that she knew as well as he did that this dinner could cause a whole new set problems intheir relationship,and yet, she was urging him to go. Well, he was willing to do everything in his power to never hurt her again. Looking down on his hand in hers, he smiled. Lifting one of hers to his lips, he pressed a gentle kiss on its back. Then he gazed in her eyes again and whispered, "I love you."

It was seven o'clock in the evening when Sully and his daughter arrived at the mercantile. Hannah was still upset that her Ma wasn't with them. Although her parents had assured her that it was alright this way, she knew it was because Aunt Dorothy didn't want her Ma to join. Sure, it was true that she was just a little girl; but she wasn't stupid. She had been there the whole time and understood every word. She didn't like to be here without her Ma, she didn't like it at all.

Sully was about to knock when the door flung open. Seeing him, Mary smiled broadly. "I'm so glad you came! It will be great, Sully, you will see. Even Uncle Loren is joking again."

Although Sully had already seen her this afternoon, he was stunned again. It was as if he had gone back in time and Abigail opened the door. Of course there were slight differences in Mary's appearance, but her voice sounded like Abby's and even her eyes sparkled in the same way his wife's had when she was happy. Taking a deep breath to brace himself for what was to come, Sully carried his daughter into the mercantile.

Two hours later they still sat around the table. The meal had been delicious and the conversation light. Loren felt that he could finally breathe again. Hannah had happily agreed to sit with her grandpa and the old man reveled in the knowledge that he held his own flesh and blood on his lap. Secretly, he started to like the thought that Hannah could come back to live in the mercantile. There were two women which would dote on herhere now and he knew that they would care for her well… Thinking like that, however, made him feel slightly guilty. He knew all that Hannah was today was owed to Dr. Mike. He decided not to think about that right now and to just enjoy their time together.

Mary was happy. Sully was even more handsome now than he was then. Though his clothes were kind of strange, she liked how he wore his hair now. Talking about their time together when she had just been a teenager had even brought a smile to his face from time to time. Her mother had told her that he was still grieving and could use some distraction. Since she always had liked him, she would do her best. Maybe he could see more in her than just a friend from the past…

Dorothy was pleased with herself. Everything went exactly the way she had hoped. Her daughter did a great job in entertaining Sully in a way that didn't give away the purpose of all the trouble: to show him that his true family was gathered around this table. The only problem was that child. Why could that girl not show a pleasant smile? Maybe she was tired.

Although Hannah always liked to sit on her granpa's lap, today it was different. No one talked to her and her Pa had only eyes for Mary. She didn't like how the young woman often touched her father's arm when she laughed and how she made her Pa smile. Right now she didn't even like her Pa. She felt that it was wrong sitting here and having fun while her Ma was all alone by herself at the homestead. That wasn't fair. And she was so tired, all that she wanted was to sleep right now. Just when she had decided to say something, Aunt Dorothy seemed to see it and anticipated her. "Sully, I think your daughter is tired. I've prepared her a cot in Mary's room so you don't have to make the ride out of town at this hour."

Before her Pa could react, Hannah protested. "I wanna go Ma!"

Sully instantly felt guilty and tensed up. He had been so consumed by his conversation with Mary that he hadn't even looked at his daughter. "Sorry, sweet girl. I didn't pay attention to the time. We should have been gone an hour ago." He rose to step to his daughter.

But Loren liked the idea of having his granddaughter here in the morning. "Aw, Sully. Leave her here. It ain't gonna hurt anyone." Bending down to his little girl's ear, he whispered, "I'll tuck you in and tell you a story. How does that sound?"

Hannah gave her Pa a pleading look. She wanted home to her Ma. But Sully knew it was rather late and his daughter's eyelids were already dropping. Michaela would understand, she always thought about what was best for Hannah. So he decided, "Alright, I'll be back first thing in the morning to take her to the homestead."

Now Mary was puzzled. "Where will you go? We've prepared a bed for you as well. I was hoping we could talk a little bit longer."

Sully didn't feel right about it. "At least I should ride out and tell Michaela…"

But Dorothy cut him off. "Don't be ridiculous, Sully. She knows where you are. You can see her again tomorrow." Then even Loren added, "Come on, Sully. It's the first time in ages we are having a nice evening together. You ain't wanna ruin it now."

Still not sure if he was making the right decision, Sully gave in. "Okay, we will stay. But it's just because it's a special occasion."

At the homestead, Michaela had given up waiting. Somehow, she had known Hannah would be invited to stay at the mercantile. However, she was wondering why Sully hadn't come back to inform her and get the bunny. Obviously, he had takenan invitation as well. She only hoped, it was just for this evening.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

When Sully didn't arrive at his usual hour in the morning, Michaela couldn't decide wether to be more worried or angry. It wasn't because she had to milk the cow by herself or to ride out to the reservation alone, she had done that before. What worried her most was that she knew that Hannah hadn't wanted to go to the supper at the mercantile without her. She was sure her little girl hadn't changed her mind and sleeping without her bunny would have further added fuel to the fire. The concerned mother just knew in her heart that her daughter had had a difficult night. If that was the case, Hannah would be up early and willing to go home. Sully and Hannah not being there yet just meant something was terribly wrong. Michaela wasn't sure if she was willing to enter a new rollercoaster of feelings and her loyalty towards Sully began to waver. Maybe she should have listened to her inner voice which had told her right from the start it was too soon for them to court. On the other hand she hoped that she knew Sully well enough by now to be sure she could trust his promise. Well, she just had to wait and see.

When Sully woke up very well rested, it was still dark. For a moment, he was confused because he already felt like getting up. Added to that, he didn't recognize his surroundings. Then he remembered he was sleeping in the mercantile. That felt strange, he had never done that before. Abigail's and his engagement had been met with Loren's unshakeable disapproval and the older man had never allowed him to spend the night in his house. Why had he yesterday? Surely, it was because of Hannah but his daughter had slept here alone with her grandparents many times. Loren couldn't possibly hope…

Closing his eyes again, Sully tried to summarize the events from last night. Once again, he hadn't paid enough attention to his daughter. She had turned away when he wanted to give her a good night kiss. There was no doubt that this was his fault. He had talked to Mary all night. It had been a long time since he had felt so…comfortable. What did that mean? Strangely enough, talking about the time Abigail, Mary and he had spent together years ago hadn't made him sad. On the contrary, it had felt good to exchange their memories.

And suddenly it hit him. That's all what it was: the past. They had been so young then and he finally accepted that he could never get these times back. He was able to let go of them now. Even if Abigail herself had returned, it wouldn't have changed anything. Abby and Mary were parts of his youth, and his youth was over. Knowing the truth in this realization, he had to smile.All that counted were the present and future. Abigail would always have a special place in his heart but he shared his soul with Michaela now. Michaela…what would she think, knowing he had spent the night at this place? He didn't want her to jump to the wrong conclusions; he was sure, he himself would do it. He should get up right now and see her at the homestead.

With determination, Sully stretched his limbs and then swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Straightening, his gaze fell onto thick brown curtains which hid the window. When he opened them, he was startled. The sun was already shining brightly. Judging from its position, he knew it had to be quite late in the morning. Realizing that Michaela was probably even at the reservation already, he silently cursed. He wasn't used to sleeping without seeing the night's stars as he fell asleep and having the day's lights to wake him and so he had obviously lost his sense of time.

Not wasting another second, Sully left the room and went downstairs. The first thing he saw was his daughter, her hair bound in neatly plaited braids, sitting forlonly on a chair behind the counter. He immediately rushed towards her to lift her into his arms, but his little girl resisted. She crossed her arms against her chest and shook her head. "I want Ma!"

Hannah was terribly angry with her Pa. First he hadn't talked to her all evening and when she woke up in the morning, he hadn't been there for her either. Aunt Dorothy had combed her hair without caring when the brush pulled it and her braids were so tight that her head already ached. Then Aunt Dorothy had made her eat scrambled eggs that she hated and her fatherstill wasn'tthere to help her. All she wanted was to finally be with her ma again.

Sully crouched down beside his daughter to be at eye level with her. Touching her crossed arms, he looked into her eyes and told her in a sincere voice. "Listen to me, Hannah." The little girl tensed up. Her Pa rarely used her real name, only when she had done something wrong or when there was bad news.

Seeing the fear creeping into her eyes, Sully hastily continued. "I'm sorry about yesterday evening and I'm sorry I slept in. But the talk with Mary was important for me in a way you can't understand yet."

His daughter still didn't budge. Realizing that this wasn't the right way to get through to her, Sully simply said, "Let's go and see where we can find your ma."

Instantly, Hannah's face lit up. She threw her arms around her father's neck and hugged him tightly. Sully chuckled. "Seems it's real easy to make you happy. Well, that's fine with me because seeing your ma's gonna make me happy, too."

Their moment was broken by Dorothy'svoice. "There you are, Sully. I have breakfast ready for you in the kitchen. Mary should be back in a minute to join you, she is just helping Loren outside."

Sully straightened with his little girl still clinging to his neck. "Thanks for a really eye-opening evening, Miss Dorothy, but I'm gonna be going now. I'll see you later." With that he turned to leave the store.

"But your breakfast is waiting," Dorothy tried to hold him back. Sully, however, didn't pay any attention to her and had almost gained the door already.

Stepping outside onto the porch, Sully saw two men from the Railroad Company which always came to refresh the supplies for their camp on the first Sunday of the month. Loren and Mary had just finished loading their wagon with their purchases. Sacks and big wooden crates stood neatly stowed away on the loading space butthe back flap that would secure them stood still open.

Passing Sully with his two customers, Loren acknowledged his presence with a nod and entered his store. Mary didn't follow the men but stepped toward Sully instead. "Good morning, Sully. Slept well?" Her smile was expectant. It had been a great evening and she knew that he had enjoyed it as much as she had.

Sully knew he owed it to her to be honest. "Can I have a word with you?"

Mary was pleased. "Sure, why not?"

Sully didn't want Hannah to hear their conversation, so he put her down on the porch, telling her, "Listen to me, sweet girl. You stay right here for a moment. I have to talk to Mary, it won't take long. When we are done, we go and see your ma, alright?" The little girl nodded. She couldn't wait to finally get home.

At the same moment Michaela turned around the bend at the other end of the street. She wanted to get the fresh milk to Charlotte and look in on Hannah before the church service started. When she reached the clinic, Mr. James emerged from the sideway to Grace's Café, unnoticed by Michaela who immediately spotted Sully and Mary talking on the porch of the mercantile, neither of them paying attention to Hannah. Of course her daughter had seen her right away and was starting down the mercantile steps and onto the street.

In the meantime Mr. James had reached the side of Michaela's wagon and offered to help her down. "Good morning, Dr. Quinn, may I?" He stretched his arms in her direction.

Glancing at him, the doctor replied, "Thank you, but would you please escort my daughter down the street instead? It seems her father is occupied and I don't want her to walk on the street by herself."

Chris already started rushing towards the little girl. "Of course I'll do it. It's my pleasure," he called over his shoulder.

For the next few moments a second seemed to last a minute. The horses of the Railroad Company's wagon suddenly spooked and pulled the vehicle forward with a jerk. This caused the unsecured crates to fall down on the street, right where Hannah was walking. Chris had somehow sensed what would happen and started to run towards the girl who was stumbling now and falling down. While Michaela screamed her daughter's name, the new teacher reached the child and covered her with his body to protect her from the falling crates. Sully reached the scene of the accident a few seconds too late. He only came in time to see that Mr. James upper body was free but from the waistline downwards he was buried under sacks and wooden crates. Hannah was lying under him, crying on the top of her lungs for her ma.

Robert E. had stopped the horses by now and a crowd had already gathered around the place. Some of the men started to take the crates off of Mr. James and when Michaela reached the group of people, they made room for the doctor. Instantly switching all emotions off, Michaela knelt down beside Hannah and her rescuer. She searched for Mr. James' pulse on his neck. It was there, quick but still strong. At the same time she tried to calm her daughter. "Sh, sweetheart, it's alright. I'm here now. Tell me where it hurts." Hannah wasn't able to speak yet; her body was still shaking with heavy sobs.

When the last crate was finally taken off Mr. James' legs, the crowd gasped seeing the amount of blood on his trousers. After a quick preliminary examination the doctor gave her instructions. "Jake, Hank, please turn him carefully onto his back. Sully, we will need a ladder to transport him into the clinic." When Sully started to object because he wanted to stay with his daughter, Michaela didn't let him speak. Giving him an impatient and angry look, she added, "Hurry!"

Directing her attention on her still on the ground lying daughter, the doctor examined her as well. Relieved she noticed that there weren't any serious injuries but just some scratches. And of course her little girl was scared to death. Picking her up and cradling Hannah against her chest, Michaela kept talking to her, "It's alright, sweetheart. I'm here, shh..."

Feeling secure in her mother's arms, the little girl slowly calmed down and her sobs abated. "Is she alright, Dr. Mike?" Loren anxiously asked.

When the doctor responded, "She's fine, just still scared," everyone in the now large crowd around the accident breathed a sigh of relief.

In the meantime Sully was back with a ladder from the blacksmith and helped Jake to put the teacher onto it. When the men carried Mr. James towards the clinic, Michaela started to follow them. A firm grip on her upper arm held her back though. Turning around to see who it was, she found herself face to face with Maude's sister. Dorothy's tone was almost commanding when she said, "Give her to me, she can stay with us."

Pivoting again to head towards the clinic, Michaela was short. "She's staying with me."

But once more she felt the red-haired woman's grip and heard her insisting, "The child should stay away from the clinic and be…"

Michaela had enough. She felt her temper rising and turning towards Dorothy, she told her in a dangerous low voice, "Take your hands off of me and don't you dare tell me what I have to do with my daughter."

Dorothy, however, was sure she had the support of the still lingering crowd. "The child has a family here and should…"

Losing her patience, Michaela wriggled her arm free and almost yelled, "Stop that! You are the most selfish person I've ever met and I have no time for this nonsense right now, I have a patient to take care of. Oh, and as long as you are not sick, stay away from my clinic!" With that she turned and rushed towards the building where a patient was waiting for her.

When she entered the examination room, she had returned into her doctor mode. She placed Hannah on top of her desk and gave her another quick examination. Relieved that she had just found some bruises and scratches on the knees, Michaela looked in her daughter's eyes. "Sweetheart, I have to take care of Mr. James right now. I want you to rest in our old room."

Pausing to look over her shoulder and see who else was there, she spotted Charlotte's daughter next to her mother. "Colleen, would you mind tending to Hannah's scratches and then watching her as long as I treat Mr. James?"

Before the girl could reply, Sully volunteered, "I'll do it."

Sensing her little girl tensing up, Michaela asked herself what had happened between them. Dismissing that thought for now, she decided, "I will need Charlotte for the chloroform and you to help me with the light. If Colleen doesn't mind I'd prefer her to stay with Hannah." When she saw that both girls grinned at each other, the doctor added, "Good, that's settled then."

The next two hours Sully watched in awe how Michaela tended to the shattered legs of the teacher. He had seen her setting a shoulder, using her stethoskope and applying ointments onto wounds but had never witnessed her skill in an operating room. She worked quickly but not hastily. Without hesitation she knew what to do and handled the scalpel with professional sincerity. Besides, "Light, please!" and "How is his breathing?" no words were spoken. Sully couldn't believe that this was the same Michaela who blushed when he touched her. How could such an incredible woman love him after all he had done? As soon as the operation would be over he had to tell her that his sleeping in the mercantile meant nothing. Although, _nothing_ wasn't the right word. His talk with Mary had convinced him that there was nothing for him to feel guilty about. He was absolutely free, free to cherish the love of his life.

Hopefully, Michaela would listen to him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 

Dorothy still fumed about the way the doctor had spoken to her. To her surprise, no one had supported her wish to keep the child with her real family, not even Loren. But maybe that was unimportant; she just had to find out what Sully had told Mary a few minutes ago. Looking for her, she spotted her daughter among the people in front of the clinic who were preparing for keeping vigil until the doctor came out to tell some news. Dorothy was grateful for what the teacher had done but lingering there wouldn't help him, so she decided to call for her daughter. Hearing her mother, Mary instantly rushed towards the mercantile.

Once inside the store where they would be away from eavesdroppers, the anxious mother asked, "What did Sully tell you?"

Mary smiled. She knew that her mother loved the idea of having a family again, a family which included her, Sully and not to forget Hannah. Actually, she initially only had agreed in visiting Colorado Springs because she wanted to see Sully again. She hadn't had any intentions of winning him over. In fact, she liked her life in St. Louis. She worked as a chambermaid for a really nice and very rich family. Yesterday evening, however, had changed her mind. The cozy chat with Sully had made her want more and the beginning of their talk on the porch had been very promising. So she was somewhat excited when she answered her mother's question. "He told me that he was grateful for meeting me again and he had found out something really important. Unfortunately then the accident happened…"

Dorothy was enthusiastic. "That's great! He told me this morning that last night had opened his eyes. You should go and see him as soon as possible and invite him again. Or even better, visit him at his homestead and show him how perfectly you fit in there."

It was obvious that mother and daughter were in tune with each other.

At the clinic Michaela was finishing the last stitches on the teacher's leg. Charlotte saw the exhaustion on the younger woman's face and asked concerned, "Are you alright, Dr. Mike?" The answer didn't sound convincing. "Yes. Yes, I'm fine, thank you." After a short hesitation the doctor added, "I fear, however, Mr. James won't be."

The midwife didn't understand. "But everything looks fine, why are you saying that?"

Michaela sighed. Sometimes she wished she was back in a hospital where she could discuss her cases with colleagues. "The tibia fracture of the left leg is fortunately just a simple one, it should heal without complications. The major damage was done to the blood vessels, especially in the left foot. Though I could stitch up some of the bigger ones, the blood circulation doesn't work properly yet. I have to watch the foot closely for any swellings and colour changes. I can only hope that I won't need to amputate…" Her voice trailed off. She was almost startled when she heard Sully speak for the first time since the operation had started. "You mean he can still lose his foot?"

Directing her troubled eyes at him, Michaela's pent up emotions suddenly turned into anger towards Sully. "That's exactly what I'm saying." Her tone grew angrier and the volume of her voice raised a notch. "And it's all your fault! You decided that you'd rather chat with Mary than to take care of Hannah! How could you let her out of your sight?" Suddenly realising how close they had come in losing the little girl, Michaela's voice dropped to almost a whisper. "It could have been her under all these crates…"

Burying her face in her hands, Michaela's body began to shake with dry sobs. Sully instantly stepped to her, ready to pull her into a comforting embrace. Michaela, however, lifted her hand warningly to stop him. "Don't. Just get out and find some other men. We need to transport Mr. James into the recovery room." Without another attempt to touch her, Sully turned and left.

After Michaela had made sure that the teacher rested comfortably and that the condition of his foot hadn't changed, she went to the room next door to take care of her daughter. She was surprised to see that Sully was already there. He knelt in front of Hannah who sat on Colleen's lap, clinging to her friend's neck. Looking down into the imploring eyes of her father who had asked her to come with him, she didn't know what to do. Sometimes it was just great having him there because spending time with him could be really funny, but she never was sure what to expect next from him. Although he didn't look like he was going to yell at her because she hadn't listened to him on the porch earlier, there was still the possibility that she had to go back with him to the mercantile. She didn't want to be there. She didn't like Aunt Dorothy and she didn't like that her pa had paid so much attention to Mary yesterday that he'd forgotten to take care of her. She wanted her ma. When the little girl saw her favourite person entering the room right at the moment she had thought about her, she just knew there was nothing she had to fear because her ma would always protect her.

Instantly climbing down from her friend's lap, Hannah rushed towards Michaela and happily hugged her legs. Michaela stooped down to pick up her daughter. Feeling the girl's cheek against hers and the little arms around her neck, the doctor momentarily closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment. But soon her concern took over again. Bending her head back to watch Hannah's face, she looked for any signs of physical discomfort. She needed to be sure nothing had happened to her daughter. "Are you really all right, sweetheart? There is nothing that hurts and you don't feel dizzy?"

The little girl first shook her head and then hesitantly said, "No hurt…"

Michaela immediately knew there was something else. "What is it, sweetheart, you can tell me. You know that, don't you?"

She felt how her daughter's embrace tightened around her neck and then she heard her whisper, "No mertile, pease?"

Again Michaela was wondering what had happened yesterday but she knew she had to support Sully in any case. Seeing the guilty expression on his face, she sighed and then told her daughter despite her doubts, "I'm sure your pa doesn't want you to go there if it isn't necessary."

Instantly Sully assured, "'Course I don't. I just wanted us to go to Grace's, having some lunch." Seeing that his daughter still hesitated, he added, "We can take Colleen with us, how does that sound?"

A tentative smile appeared on Hannah's face, but the little girl wanted to be sure. "No Aunt Dorthy? No Mary?"

When her pa confirmed, "It'll be just the three of us, I promise," the little girl was ready to go into her father's arms.

Although he was relieved he could convince his daughter to be with him again, Sully was alarmed that Michaela didn't want to meet his eyes. Somehow he had tomake sureshe wouldlisten to him; maybe the best way to do that was to show her that he could get along with Hannah just fine.

After the doctor had once again examined her daughter's rescuer without finding any signs of a change for the worse, she returned into the operation room to clean it up. Charlotte, who was still there, followed the younger woman. The midwife was worried; she had never witnessed such an emotional outburst from Michaela like the one that she had directed towards Sully, not even when David had come back and done all those awful things. But she knew Dr. Mike too well to try to force her into discussing her problems, so she just asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Michaela's startled gaze flew to her older friend's face. There was no curiosity written on it, just genuine concern. Michaela knew that she had to talk to someone or she would lose control of her emotions again and maybe next time, she would yell at the wrong person.

Sighing she admitted, "I don't know what I would have done if I had lost Hannah. I just love her so much…" She trailed off for a moment.

While Michaela went on, Sully had reached the slightly ajar door of the examination room He had left Hannah in Colleen's care with the strict instruction for them to stay together. Knowing Michaela would forget about eating if he didn't get her some lunch and bring it into the clinic, he had decided to take care of that. Despite of that, he remained in the hallway when he heard her voice from inside her office. He didn't want to disturb her and eavesdrop even less, but he couldn't help himself. So he kept standing next to the door and heard the woman he loved speaking about her inner feelings for the first time.

Michaela resumed talking to her friend. "When I agreed to take care of Hannah I never expected I could grow so close to that little girl. Of course I always knew Hannah's father could come back, but it was pure horror for me when his first action was to take her away from me. I have never lost the fear of losing her since then. When he told me he would stay with her in Wells, I believed I would never see them again."  
Charlotte tried to reassure her friend. "But he came back, didn't he?"

"Yes, he did, but not because he wanted to. Loren sent him a telegram that Maude needed to see Hannah. I still don't know when or if he will go there again."

Outside the room Sully swallowed hard. He wondered why he hadn't told her yet that he never intended to leave again.

Charlotte knew there was more. "But it's not just about Hannah, am I right?"

Michaela blushed. "I just wish he finally knew what he really wants…" Her voice trailed off and she stepped to the window, looking out on the street, somewhat wistful. "I don't know if I can take the back and forth any longer. Every time I think I can let myself believe that we can have a relationship, another woman from his past shows up…"

When the doctor's voice cracked again, Charlotte sympathized, "I know Mary's appearance hit him hard. She is so much like Abigail and I don't just mean on the outside." After a moment, Dr. Mike's words had sunk in fully and she asked, "Another woman?"

Michaela nodded, feeling embarrassed but glad to finally be able to tell someone. "There is an Indian woman at the reservation. He told me they were just friends. But the day we left for Wells I saw them kissing." Suddenly Michaela felt tears rising. "But I think the worst thing was seeing his facial expression when he agreed to her pronouncement that they were the same. I felt as if someone had hit me into the stomach…I just had allowed myself to hope again…"

Her last words were only a whisper but for Sully's ears they sounded like screams.

After a moment of silence Charlotte asked, "Did he explain it to you?"

Michaela shook her head. "He only told me he was sorry." Wiping at her tears with the back of her hands, her voice grew stronger. "After my relationship with David I decided that I wouldn't allow any man to hurt me that way again. It took me a long time to regain my self-confidence. I'm not willing to go through that kind of pain again."

Charlotte watched her younger friend carefully. "Even if that means losing Hannah?"

Nearly composed again, Michaela straightened and raised her chin. "I know I can put my feelings aside, I've done it before. And I owe it to Hannah to insure that she grows up with parents who love each other. Of course, before I left, I would make sure Hannah felt comfortable with the other woman."

The midwife couldn't believe what she'd just heard. "Come on, Dr. Mike, you can't really mean that."

Sully, however, knew Michaela was serious.

After Mr. James had regained conscious later in the afternoon, the doctor made sure he didn't have any broken ribs. Because of the considerable amount of pain he was in, she gave him several doses of morphine so he could rest as comfortable as possible in his state. As the day drew to a close, she examined him once more and was satisfied with his condition. Since she was not quite comfortable leaving him alone, she kept vigil in the rocking chair next to the patient's bed throughout the night. Each time she examined him during her watch, Michaela was more and more satisfied to see that her surgery had worked and the heavily injuried foot was out of the woods.

When dawn came closer, she decided she could leave Mr. James for a short time in Charlotte's care. She wanted to go to the homestead but not only for changing into fresh clothes. Yesterday evening Sully had insisted in spending the night with Hannah there. At first his daughter had resisted but after her pa had cajoled her into agreeing to help him with the animals and had reminded her of the chance of Wolf's presence, both of them had left town. Michaela told herself she just wanted to make sure they were alright. She would ride out as soon as there was enough light. Maybe she could cover a part of the way on foot, something she loved to do after long nights such as this one…

Mary had waited all afternoon for the right time to talk to Sully, but it never came. When her mother suggested surprising him with breakfast, she thought it a splendid idea. She was on her way now, determined to show Sully that all he needed to do was to ask and she would stay forever.

Sully for his part had exchanged the bed with a chair on the porch in the middle of the night. His heart was heavy since he had recognized this afternoon how much pain he had caused Michaela. He needed to be outside under the starry sky to sort out his thoughts.

In the morning he still sat on the chair on the porch of his homestead. With closed eyes he relished the warm sun on his face.

"Sully!" Her voice was soft, exactly the way he remembered it.

"Sully, wake up! We have to talk." Her tone became more insistent.

"Uhm…" He didn't dare to open his eyes. It couldn't be true, he had to be dreaming.

"You don't have to be afraid, just look at me." Sully sensed her impatience and eventually complied. His gaze fell right into a sea of sparkling blue. He immediately tensed up.

"Shh, there's nothing to worry about. You can have your family back, you know that." Mary's expression became seductive and she caressed his face.

Sully shook his head. Doing so, he looked over her shoulder and saw Michaela approaching. Panic began to rise inside of him and he tried to get rid of the other woman's hands. But she bent towards him and he felt a gentle peck on his lips.

"It's gonna be alright, you will see." Mary leant back and smiled at him.

But Sully's eyes searched for the woman he loved. He didn't have even the slightest doubt about his love for her anymore. When he saw her figure leave the yard, he called out, "Michaela!"

Sully knew that it wasn't a dream this time. If he didn't act quickly he would lose her for good. Regardless of Mary's presence he stormed down the porch and despairingly called again, "Michaela, wait!"

Hearing him, Michaela further quickened her pace but Sully reached her nevertheless. Stepping in front of her, he tried to stop her in her tracks. When he saw her face he knew,** s**he needed something more then words and so he dropped his plan of talking to her. Other means were required here. So he just picked her up into his arms. Too surprised to defend herself against his action, Michaela exlaimed, "Sully, what are you doing?"

Carrying her towards the homestead, Sully dryly replied, "Taking you back where you belong." When he reached the porch with his precious cargo, Sully asked Mary to come over to them. Puzzled, the young woman complied. As soon as she stood in front of them, Sully began. "I wanna settle this matter for once and for all." Carefully setting Michaela down on her feet next to him, he grasped her hand firmly and continued, directing his speech to Mary. "I'm holding the hand of the woman I'm loving now and will love forever. Nothing and no one ain't gonna be changing that. Our talk the night before yesterday showed me that I finally can let go of Abigail. For that I'll always be thankful. That's what I wanted to tell you yesterday. I ain't gonna be going back in time." With a sweeping motion, he pulled Michaela close and continued. "I've found my present and future and I have no intentions of letting her go. Have I made myself clear?"

When Mary slowly nodded, Sully added in a somewhat gentler tone, "I didn't wanna be rude but you have to understand that I've moved on." Then, disregarding Mary and looking at a speechless Michaela next to him, he smiled tentatively. "I think I have some making up to do. Will you allow me that?" Seeing some sparkles creeping into the eyes he adored, Sully beamed. "Good."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

Michaela still peered up into Sully's eyes. She didn't know what to do. Everytime he looked at her like this, she lost her ability to think coherently. Although… What Sully had just said couldn't be misinterpreted, now could it? Should she believe him? Again? Now, however, she had to get the picture of Mary kissing him out of her mind where the scene from the reservation still lingered as well. And those were only women from his past, what about the future ones? She had seen the looks he had gained from some of the females at the ball in Wells. Since her trust in other people had been shattered by David, she found it extremely difficult to give her trust to a man who had already disappointed her once. Suddenly the name Paula occurred to her. She had traveled from Wells to Colorado Springs with Sully and all he had told her about that "affair" was that she didn't matter to him.

Michaela tried to concentrate. For that she had to take her eyes away from him. At the same moment, however, as that thought crossed her mind, she noticed Sully's gaze changing. It was as if he mutely begged her not to give up on him, on them.

Mary eyed the scene in front of her. She just couldn't believe it. Had she dreamed last night? Still taken aback from Sully's somewhat harsh tone towards her, the young woman grew angry and startled the couple with her outburst. "You wanna tell me last night meant nothing? Why do you think I'm here? To make a fool of myself?" Seeing that she had both their attention, she continued, "I know you Sully. You would never have talked to me the way you did if you weren't interested in me. You had the same look in your eyes that you reserved only for Abigail when we were all together in the old days. You laughed with me, you hugged me and you even spent the night with us!" Mary was almost screaming now.

Sully felt Michaela jump at the last words. Instantly pulling her close again, he made sure she couldn't leave. He tried to control his anger when he responded to Mary. "First of all, you better keep your voice low because Hannah is still sleeping and I don't want her to hear the things you think you have to say. And second, I'm sorry if you took my actions wrong, but I was just chatting with an old friend and felt comfortable, that's all. Now I'm gonna tell you again and I hope I don't have to repeat it once more: I ain't interested in you for more than a friend. Michaela is the woman I love and that's not gonna change."

Mary stared at Sully. What was wrong with him? She couldn't have misread him so completely, now could she? For her, Sully looked as if he was afraid of something. Seeing him clutching onto the lady doctor and noticing his anxiuos expression when he looked at that woman, Mary was sure it was the doctor's fault that Sully reacted this way. Directing her words at Michaela now, she asked accussing, "What have you done to him? The Sully I know was never afraid of anything. Even when Loren yelled at him and threw him out of his house, I've never seen him trembling with fear as he seems to do when you are concerned. And if it's about his daughter, we don't need your help…"

Michaela stopped listening because she finally recognized that Sully's only fear was that she would leave. Gently squeezing his hand that still gripped on her shoulder, she carefully wriggled herself out of his embrace. She took one step towards Mary and cut her speech off abruptly. "I have no time for that nonsense, there is a patient waiting for me. But since you don't want to understand what Sully is telling you, maybe what I'm saying can settle the affair: Hannah gave me the job of being her mother, her father agreed and I'm not willing to give it up. These are the only facts that count. And now excuse me, I have to change." Turning, she hurried towards the porch stair.

Mary gaped at the doctor's retreating figure. She felt like a little girl, scolded by her mother. It was as if she snapped out of a dream. Sensing her cheeks growing hot, she asked herself if there could be something more embarrassing than her situation. Although Sully had told her twice that he loved another woman, she had insisted he didn't. What had been getting into her? She should leave that place immediately. Glancing at Sully she murmured, "I'd better be going."

Sully breathed a sigh of relief. "Good idea."

Inside the homestead Michaela first looked after Hannah. Her little girl lay curled up on her side and was still sleeping with the thumb in her mouth and the bunny clutched to her chest. Smiling at the sight, Michaela fought the urge to stroke the soft blond hair. She didn't want to wake her. She had to hurry back to Mr. James.

Since Sully knew that Michaela wanted to change, he waited for her on the porch. He wasn't quite sure how to approach her when she came out. Supporting himself on his elbows on the railing, he let his gaze roam over the landscape in front of him. Being oustide always set his mind on peace but this time he couldn't stop wondering why things had gotten out of control once again. What had he done wrong that Mary came to mistaken conclusions? He sure hadn't wanted to offend her, just as he hadn't wanted to do that to Flying Sun. Instead of that he had managed to hurt Michaela once more and was running the risk of losing her for good.

Sully was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the door opening behind him. When he didn't turn around, Michaela carefully stepped towards him. Sully started, hearing her quietly saying, "I have to go back to the clinic. Maybe you can take Hannah into town some time today."

Sully wasn't recovered from her sudden appearance yet and turning slightly in her direction he mumbled, "'course we'll come if you wanna see us." He didn't dare to meet her eyes.

Michaela sighed. Noticing the almost forlorn and desperate expression on his face, she felt a wave of compassion flooding through her. Depressing the urge to hug him, she just lifted her hand and rested it momentarily on his upper arm. "I'll be at the clinic all day long."

Before Sully could manage a reply, Michaela was already down in the yard. Touching the spot where he still could feel the soft pressure of her palm, he felt his heartbeat speeding up and hope was settling in again. Determined to not make any more mistakes, he decided to go into town as soon as possible.

Two hours later, Hannah sat on the lap of her pa next to the nice man's bed in the clinic. Her ma had explained to her that he had all the bruises and scratches and a wrapped leg because he had saved her from being hurt yesterday. She couldn't quite remember what had happened. Only the feeling of being terrified since she couldn't reach her ma was left. The little girl felt sorry for Mr. James; his eyes looked terribly tired and his voice sounded strange because of the pain he was in. But she was confident that her ma would make him feel better. Right now she entered the room again, carrying a tray that was covered with a cloth. When her ma set the tray down on top of the nightstand, Hannah craned her neck to see what was hidden under the white fabric. Her eyes grew wide when she recognized a syringe and watched her mother preparing it.

Michaela sensed her daughter's discomfort and suggested, "Sully, you and Hannah could take a little walk while I'm tending to Mr. James."

But the little girl was terrified by the thought that her new friend would have to endure the long needle somewhere in his body. "No hurt him, pease?" she begged.

Michaela sighed and stilled her hands for a moment. "Sweetheart, Mr. James has to sleep a lot so he can get well again. But he is in so much pain that he needs my help to fall asleep. Do you understand?"

Hannah nodded slowly. She understood. Mr. James needed to sleep but he couldn't. Thinking hard, she searched for another way to help him than with that dangerous-looking needle. Suddenly she knew it. Bunny always helped her at night and now she would give him to her new friend until he was better. Her little face lit up and she climbed down from her father's lap. Impatiently tugging at his sleeve, she told him, "We go home, pease!"

As lunchtime neared, Michaela felt she could use a little break. Although the teacher slept peacefully right now, she didn't want to leave the clinic. So she decided to sit a little on the bench of the clinic porch. After she had made herself comfortable there, she rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes.

"Ya seem really busy, Michaela." Hank's voice from across the street startled her. Of course she didn't let him see that and dryly replied, "Just as busy as you, Hank."

The saloon owner acknowledged her response by lifting his hand that held the unavoidable cigar, and slightly bending his head. Michaela knew he wasn't done yet, but with his next question he surprised her. "How's the teacher?"

"You really care?" She eyed him curiousely.

Hank's gaze was challenging. "Yeah, sometimes I do."

Michaela didn't feel like arguing and so she simply answered, "He is getting better, it seems he won't lose his foot."

A light nod was his only reply because the barkeeper had noticed Loren and Dorothy coming down the street. He had witnessed the argument about Hannah and was sure there would be a nice spectacle in front of him any moment.

Loren didn't feel right about the whole situation. Sure, he had enjoyed the family evening, but listening to Mary's report from her encounter at the homestead this morning had made him find his way back into reality. Dorothy, however, hadn't rested until he had agreed to come with her to the clinic. Seeing Dr. Mike talking with Hank made him feel even more uncomfortable. His friend loved to provoke the doc and although she always repaid him in kind, Dr. Mike grew often agitated doing so. Loren was sure it was the wrong moment to approache her now.

Michaela had noticed Hank's attention shifting and when she saw the reason for it, she braced herself for the upcoming discussion. She only was surprised that Loren was there, too.

Dorothy was determined to bring the matter to a close. If she understood her daughter right, then it was the doctor who prevented the family reunion. Well, someone should put her into place. When they were within earshot, she immediately demanded. "We are here to take Loren's granddaughter for lunch. Where is she?"

Micheala glanced at Loren and seeing his downcast eyes she knew, he didn't want to be there. So she directed her gaze at the red-haired woman who stood in front of her now. "Are you sick, Mrs. Jennings?"

Dorothy momentarily lost her thread. "I beg your pardon?"

But the doctor just raised her eyebrows and waited until the arrow hit the target. Dorothy felt her cheeks growing hot. Who did that woman think she was? Her tone was icy when she finally found her voice again. "I'm not _in_ the clinic, Dr. Quinn. I'm standing on common land. You can't forbid me that."

Sighing, Michaela straightened. "Of course, you are right." Turning towards the clinic door, she added, "Good day, Mrs. Jennings. Loren."

But Dorothy wasn't one for giving up so easily. "We are not done here, Dr. Quinn. You can't keep the child away from her own grandfather."

At this moment, Sully turned around the corner of the side path to Grace's Café, where he had left Hannah in Charlotte's care. Seeing the crowd that already had gathered around Miss Dorothy and Loren, and noticing Michaela's far too calm expression he knew, there was trouble. Stepping up onto the clinic porch, he demanded to know, "What's going on here?"

Dorothy's reply was stern. "We are here to take my niece's daughter for lunch, but the doctor…"

Surprised that Miss Dorothy obviously still held on to her plan of a family union in the mercantile after he had set Mary straight, Sully didn't let her finish. "I'm sorry to tell you that you won't succeed in that matter, Miss Dorothy, because _my_ daughter asked me to take her _mother_ to join us for lunch and since Hannah seems to mean a lot to you, I'm sure you won't deny her that wish. Am I right?"

Not spending further attention to his late wife's aunt, he closed the short distance between him and Michaela. His blue eyes sparkled with tenderness when he asked her, "Will you come?"

His heart missed a beat when he gained a warm smile in response. "_I_ would never deny my daughter such a wish."

Dorothy gaped at them in disbelief. Not only that Sully had offended her in public, but now she had to watch how he lay his arm around the doctor's shoulders and gently squeezed her while he led her into the clinic. Indignantly, she turned towards Loren to complain that he didn't help her, but her brother-in-law was already on his way to the saloon and so she met Hank's gaze. The barkeeper openly grinned at her. "Ya gotta look for something else to keep ya busy, Dorothy." Before she could reply, Hank vanished into his saloon.

Inside the clinic, the doctor joined Sully in the hallway after she had made sure that Mr. James was still sleeping and Colleen would call for her if necessary.

"Shall we?" When Sully didn't budge, she looked at him questioningly. "Sully, what's wrong?"

Sully couldn't suppress his need to be close to her any longer. Suddenly pulling her into a tight embrace, he made her squeal in surprise. "Sully! Hannah is waiting!"

His voice was muffled because he had buried his face in Michaela's hair. "It's just for a moment." When he felt her relax in his arms, he took a shaking breath. He couldn't put it into words how much he loved this woman. Bending back to look at her face, he noticed the trace of a tear on her cheek. He tenderly brushed it away and assured her softly, "It's gonna be alright, you will see."

Sully gained a nod and a shy smile in response which encouraged him to press a gentle kiss on her forehead. Instantly, both were lost by the sensation that flooded through their bodies, feeling the connection again, and their special bond pulled their lips together. All the pent up emotions of the last days were set free when their lips crashed onto each other and their tongues began the timeless dance of lovers.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 

The next morning, Dorothy was in an extremely bad mood. Mary had left Colorado Springs on the evening stagecoach, in spite of how hard her mother had begged her to stay. She had said she had made a fool of herself long enough and wanted to go back to St. Louis.

To make matters worse, although Dorothy knew that her brother-in-law wasn't a talker, the fact that he had spoken even less since yesterday got on her nerves. And now he was strolling through the store as if he was searching for something and didn't even know what it was. From time to time he grunted and sighed, and it was driving her crazy. "Loren Bray, what on earth are you doing?" Her sharp and impatient tone startled Loren. He didn't even look at her as he replied, "Aw, just looking for a gift."

Dorothy was puzzled. "A gift? For whom and why?"

Loren didn't answer. It had been yesterday in front of the clinic that the realization of how close he had come to lose his little girl had hit him hard. He felt almost ashamed that he hadn't thanked the teacher yet. However, he had never been good at such things and looking for a gift was like torture for him. Finally, his gaze fell onto a shaving brush. Silently sighing in relief, he took it together with a bar of shaving soap to the counter where he wrapped it up.

Dorothy's voice interrupted his thoughts again. "Won't you tell me what's going on?"

Loren still hesitated. He knew she would want to come with him if he told her where he was going and he didn't want to upset Dr. Mike again. However, seeing how Maude's sister stood in front of the counter, hands on her hips and an agitated look on her face, he knew, he had to inform her. "Aw, I just gonna pay the teacher a visit and look in on Dr. Mike, but I don't wanna …" He knew it was too late to tell her that he wanted to go by himself, because Dorothy had already taken her apron off. Secretly, Loren had hoped Dr. Mike would solve the problem with Hannah for him but now it seemed he had to take a stand. This time his sigh was audible.

Although Michaela was used to sleeping under any possible conditions, the last night on the cot in her old room at the clinic hadn't done her any good. First her thoughts about Sully had kept her awake, and then Mr. James had woken up several times. At dawn, she had reluctantly given him another dose of morphine. She was determined though that it would be the last one. In the latest edition of her medical journal she had read about a study which discussed evidence in support of the possibility that patients could grew addicted to the drug and she definitely didn't want to expose Mr. James to that danger.

Feeling the headache that had plaqued her all morning grow worse, Michaela decided to make herself some coffee in the examination room. She had just entered it when a soft knock on the door announced that her morning wouldn't be as quiet as she had hoped. Her uneasiness increased upon seeing who the visitors were. She didn't move to let them in as she asked, "What can I do for you, Loren?"

The old man didn't meet her eyes. "Uhm, I…that is we…"

Stepping next to her brother-in-law in order to appear at her full height, Dorothy interjected. "We are here to visit Mr. James and that's something you can't deny us."

The doctor had to smile, despite herself. In a dangerously quiet tone she replied, "That's where you are wrong, Mrs. Jennings. This is a clinic and until I decide that you can disturb my patient, you won't take so much as one step into his room."

Loren felt extremely uncomfortable. He knew Michaela was right and since he still had to talk to her about something important, he didn't want to get her angry with him. Before Dorothy could open her mouth again, he quickly assured, "And we know that, Dr. Mike. I just wanted to thank him for saving Hannah from getting hurt."

Michaela softened. She knew that the thought of possibly losing Hannah frightened Loren. Stepping aside to allow them entrance, she said. "Just wait here, I will see if he is awake."

When the doctor was out of ear shot, Dorothy demanded, "You should finally set her straight about Hannah. Why are you such a coward when it comes to her?"

Loren knew it was his sister-in-law who had to be set straight. "Aw, just leave her be. Actually, it had been Maude and me who asked her to take Hannah in. And now since Sully is back, it ain't our business any more."

Dorothy's mind raced. There had to be another argument left…Suddenly it came to her. "How much have you paid her? I'm sure Sully doesn't have enough money to give her a salary."

Loren stared at her. "Huh? What the hell are you talking about?" Slowly but surely he lost his patience.

They both hadn't heard the doctor's return and turned around startled, hearing her voice, "I'm not a nanny, Mrs. Jennings, I'm a mother, and mothers are only paid with the love of their children. You should know that."

Dorothy, however, wasn't ready to acknowledge the facts yet. "But her real family…"

It was then that Loren eventually lost his temper. "Aw, Dorothy, stop that. Hannah loves Dr. Mike and that's all that counts." Turning towards Michaela, he asked, "What about the teacher, can we see him?"

As they sat on chairs next to Mr. James' bed, Dorothy still fumed about the way Loren had talked to her. But if she really had to bury her plan to take the child in, she had to search for something else because in the mercantile wasn't enough work for all the energy she had inside of her. Her attention shifted towards the other persons in the room again when she heard Loren clearing his throat. "Uh, Dr. Mike…"

Michaela was pleased that her patient's condition had considerably improved after the good sleep that he had finally found. Relieved, she could breathe easier and the headache started to dissipate. So she smiled when she looked at the storekeeper. "What is it, Loren?"

Encouraged when he didn't hear any anger in her voice, he started again. "Uhm, I was wonderin'… Grace said that you asked her to cater the ceremony when you officially open the school. She said she would do all her shoppin' at the mercantile and there will be a lot to order…" His voice trailed off for a moment. He couldn't quite contain his excitement about the profit he would make. That school sure was a great gift, he had already made some money from all the building materials that had been ordered in his store.

Dorothy gaped at Loren. "A ceremony? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Loren snapped out of his pleasant thoughts. Turning towards Michaela, he tentatively added, "I wanted to ask if there's gonna be one now, Dr. Mike…because there would be a lot of things to order and I have to be sure…"

Before he got his words muddled again, Michaela assured him, "Of course there will be a ceremony." Looking at her patient, she considered his condition and then continued, "The way I see it we will just postpone it maybe a week and then Mr. James can participate as well."

Now wide-awake, Chris was astonished. "You think my foot will be well within a week?"

The doctor couldn't help but smile. "Of course not, Mr. James. But by then, you should have recovered enough to sit on a chair without great discomfort. When you will be able to begin with the lessons,is another matter…"

The teacher swallowed hard. Could he really dare to hope she would still hire him no matter if or how his foot would heal? But she wanted him to be at the ceremony, that was a good sign, wasn't it? Sensing his concern, Michaela assured him, "There is no reason I can see to break our contract, Mr. James. We will wait until you are well enough to start teaching the children of this town."

Dorothy still couldn't believe it. No one had told her about such an important event! What if there were other people who didn't know about it yet? They had to be informed! And then, it hit her out of the blue. "A newspaper!" she exclaimed, "That's what this town needs! And I will do it." For a moment, all the eyes in the room were on her. Dorothy was very pleased with herself. What a great idea! She would be an important member of this town and she would be informed about all the significant things that were going on.

If anyone in the room had known how much trouble was to come because of this idea, they all would have tried to talk Dorothy out of this. For now though, Dorothy continued to revel in her genius; not even Hannah and Sully's arrival couldn't distract her from her thoughts.

Hannah was relieved when Aunt Dorothy finally left the room with her grandpa. She was still tired because she hadn't slept well. She had missed her bunny. The little girl had spotted her favourite toy the moment her pa had carried her into the recovery room. Bunny sat propped up against the pillow right next to Mr. James's head. Observing that her new friend looked much better than yesterday, she knew that Bunny had been good for him. Maybe…She didn't finish that thought because she didn't want to be selfish. Her ma always said that a doctor had to think of the sick people first. Taking a deep breath, she directed her gaze at her ma and her little face lit up. It was wonderful to be in the same room with her again.

Seeing Sully with his daughter in his arms standing next to the door, Mr. James grinned to himself. Both their longing looks spoke volumes. Sully's gaze was directed at Dr. Quinn and showed the same desire that Chris was sure would be in his own eyes if his fiancée entered the room right now. And it was also obvious that the little girl longed for her stuffed toy. He found the child adorable and wanted to set her mind at ease.

"Hello, Hannah." he said, immediately grabbing her attention. "I wanted to tell you that your little friend was a wonderful companion for me last night. I know, however, that he missed you terribly and that's why I think you better take him home again, I don't want him to get sad."

He hadn't even finished the last sentence when Hannah was already wriggling out of her father's arms. Down on the floor, she rushed towards her bunny and clutched him to her chest. Her blue eyes sparkled when she looked up into her big friend's face. "I take care."

Chris chuckled. "That's what I hoped for."

Michaela had seen exhaustion creeping into her patient's eyes and ordered that everyone, including herself,left his room. On their way to the examination room, the three of them met the Cooper family in the hallway. Brian instantly rushed towards Sully who was carrying Hannah again. Hopefully, the boy asked, "Hey Sully, are ya goin' fishin'?"

Sully smiled down on him and gave him a friendly tap on the back. "That's what I had in mind. Wanna join us?"

Brian didn't even wait until Sully had finished his question; he was already on his way to the stairs and shouted over his shoulder, "I'm getting my things!"

Charlotte was embarrassed by her son's behaviour. "Sully, you don't have to take him every time he asks you."

Sully just shrugged. "I don't mind, really. And it's more fun when there are three of us. Right, sweet girl?" He raised his eyebrows and grinned at his daughter. Hannah was so happy to have her bunny back that she would have agreed to anything and nodded eagerly.

Turning towards Michaela, Charlotte's facial expression changed. "Dr. Mike, there is something I have to tell you. Do you have a moment?"

Michaela had noticed for several days that her friend had seemed to have something on her mind and so she didn't want to let her down. "I have an appointment in a few minutes but I would be happy to meet you at Grace's for lunch."

When Charlotte hesitated, the doctor added, "I wanted to invite you and Colleen some time soon anyway to thank you for your help during the last several days." The midwife felt her daughter's pleading gaze and agreed. "Alright, we'll meet you at noon."

After Charlotte and Colleen had left the clinic, Brian returned with his fishing rod. He was eager to leave immediately. "Come on, let's go!"

Carefully putting Hannah down, Sully instructed, "You two go on out on the porch, I still wanna have a word with Dr. Mike."

Taking the little girl's hand, Brian complied and Michaela and Sully were finally alone for a moment. Stepping closer to the woman he loved, Sully told her in a low voice, "I've missed you."

Michaela blushed and averting her eyes she admitted quietly, "I've missed you too."

Sighing in contentment, Sully closed the space between them and wrapped her in his arms.

He buried his face in Michaela's hair and whispered near her ear, "We'll be back for supper, is that alright with you?" Feeling her nod, he bent back to look into her face. The blush still lingered on Michaela's cheeks and Sully knew he had to keep his desire under control. That's why he just pressed his lips on her forehead, held her tight again for a moment and then hastily left. Michaela couldn't take her eyes off his retreating figure and sighed. Actually, she wouldn't have minded if he had kissed her like he had yesterday. But he would be back in the evening…maybe then…


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

Michaela had joined Charlotte and her daughter at their table at Grace's Café a few minutes ago. After they had ordered their meals and got some coffee, the doctor looked expectantly at her friend. The midwife, however, averted her eyes. It was difficult for her to tell Dr. Mike the news. She felt as if she would let her down. Finally, she plucked up the courage and began. "Actually, there are two things, Dr. Mike. The first is that Matthew won't be able to help you at the homestead anymore. He's got a job on a ranch and can only visit us two or three times a month."

Michaela felt Charlotte's discomfort and placed her hand reassuringly on the older woman's hand that nervously clutched the coffee mug. "That's alright. Since Sully is here now, we can manage ourselves. There is no need to worry about that."

Charlotte took a deep breath. "I know. It's just…I don't know how to tell you..."

Sensing that her mother couldn't say it out loud, Colleen stepped in. "We're gonna lose our house, Dr. Mike." The girl's brown eyes were filling with tears when she broke the news.

Michaela was shocked. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Admittedly, she had noticed that her friend's demeanor had slightly changed during the last weeks, but she had thought it was because of the large amount of work the midwife had to manage; there had been a lot of new babies lately… Now that she thought carefully about it, she hadn't seen the Coopers at Grace's Café as often as usual. Michaela was angry with herself. Why hadn't she asked Charlotte about what was wrong earlier? Maybe she would have been able to help. Now a whole family would lose its home…And there was one thought she couldn't banish: What would that mean for her? However, seeing the desperation on the midwife's face, she immediately wanted to comfort her. "Please, tell me what happened, Charlotte, maybe I can help somehow."

While she spoke reassuringly to her friend, Michaela continued to try to digest the information that she'd just been given. As a doctor she needed a clinic, and without the rooms in the former boarding house, she wouldn't have a place to practise. She had to know exactly what was going on and so she reiterated, "Please, tell me. Maybe I can help."

But Charlotte knew that there wasn't any hope left for her. "I got a letter from the bank last week. It says that this time they will foreclose on the house."

Michaela's concern increased and she asked, "This time?"

Charlotte swallowed hard. "When you came into town, I was already struggling to pay the mortgage off. The bank threatened to take my house away for the first time then. Fortunately, the town rented the rooms downstairs for the clinic and that saved me for a while. But now, I'm some months behind again and the bank has demanded payment in full by May 1st or they will take the house back and it will be auctioned…," her voice trailed off.

At this moment Grace served their meals and the three of them began to eat in silence. Michaela's mind raced. If she lost the clinic rooms, it would be difficult for her to find another place for her practice. And what about the Coopers? Where would they live? Then an idea occurred to her and she instantly blurted it out. "I'll hire you as a nurse and give you a salary. So you can pay the mortgage and won't have to leave your home."

Charlotte smiled sadly. "I really appreciate that, Dr. Mike, but there are a few reasons why I can't take that offer. The first and most important one is that you can't pay me enough to help me keep my house. Second, I'm still the midwife for this territory. That means I might not even be at home when you need me. Actually, I've already found a new house at the end of the main street. It's just a small one but since it's only three of us now, that'll do it. And this one I can afford. So don't you worry about us, Dr. Mike. For once, you should think of yourself. I'm so sorry that this is happening, I only hope you can forgive me some time."

Michaela's instant reaction was to reassure her friend. "Oh Charlotte, that's not your fault. I should have paid attention to that problem earlier. It just never crossed my mind that I could lose the ability to practise in your house."

Although, that wasn't the whole truth. When David had come to town and kicked her out of the clinic, she had thought about finding her own rooms. But back then, she wasn't even sure if she would stay in Colorado Springs.

Michaela just picked at her food. She knew she had to make a decision. When she had gone out West one and a half years ago, she hadn't thought about how long she would stay here. They had offered her a job and she needed it, that's why she had come to Colorado. In the meantime, however, she had become very attached to this place. Of course it wasn't only the countryside with its gorgeous landscape. It were the people as well, in fact two very special people…She could try to buy the boarding house but that would mean a permanent decision to stay in Colorado Springs. Was she ready for that? Taking such a step shouldn't depend on feelings but rational thoughts. Well, she hadn't thought about going back to Boston once, now had she? And here she could have a whole building with several recovery rooms, even a separate operation room…she could stay with Hannah…Sully… Just remembering his name made her blush and she guiltily bowed her head. How could she feel happy, thinking about the improvement of her situation and the man she loved when the friend at her side had to endure just another catastrophe in her life?

Charlotte, however, misread the doctor's lowered eyes. Exchanging a concerned look with her daughter who had noticed Dr. Mike's movement as well, she tentatively asked, "Are you alright, Dr. Mike? I'm terribly sorry for doing that to you but I really have no choice."

Michaela instantly looked up in her friends face. "It's alright, Charlotte, really. I was just thinking about my options." She paused for a moment before her next hesitant question. "Are you positive about giving up your house?"

When Charlotte nodded and only said, "Absolutely," the doctor made her decision.

That evening, Michaela sat at her desk in the examination room. She had already finished two letters, the first to the National Bank of Denver and another one to Mr. Henry Goldt who had agreed to be her lawyer after David's death. The most difficult task though, she had kept till the end.

Michaela knew that her mother was still hoping she would "come to her senses" as she liked to write in every single letter. When she would receive Michaela's request to transfer a big part of her inheritance to her account in Denver, Elizabeth Quinn wouldn't just do it without another try to convince her daughter to come back to Boston. She had to make herself absolutely clear so her mother knew once and for all that she had found her new life in Colorado Springs. Michaela was half done with her letter when suddenly the door burst open and an excited Brian stopped in front of her desk, showing her a bunch of catfish. "Look, we were lucky, Dr. Mike!"

Michaela couldn't help but smile about the boy's antics. "Yes, you were; your mother will be pleased."

Brian didn't waste any more time talking to the docter, he wanted to sport his haul to his family and was already out of the back door when Sully and Hannah entered the room. The little girl proudly showed her mother the bunch of flowers she had picked for Mr. James. "Here Ma, for my fiend!"

Michaela got up from her chair and took her daughter from her father's arms into hers. "That's very nice of you, sweetheart. Let's see if he is awake."

Looking back at Sully, she asked expectantly, "Are you coming?"

Sully, however, had seen the started letter and curiosity got the better of him. "Who ya writing?"

Michaela halted in her tracks, explaining, "I need mother to transfer a part of my money so I can buy this building." Seeing the baffled look on his face, she put Hannah down and told her, "Sweetheart, please go to your cot and look and see if Bunny is still sleeping."

As the little girl eagerly complied, Michaela stepped back to Sully. Standing in front of him, she took his hands in hers and looked up in his face. "I'm sorry, I forgot you don't know. Charlotte told me today that the bank will foreclose on this house because she can't pay the loan anymore. She is positive that she doesn't want to do anything to keep the house. Actually, she said she would be happy if I bought it and so I will do that. This building is perfect as a clinic."

Sully couldn't respond right away. When he was with Michaela, he always forgot that she came from another world where people had enough money to just buy a house. He had had to build his homestead with his own hands. Looking down at her beautiful face he wondered again how she could want to be with him. He had nothing to offer but his love. Would that be enough in the long run?

Although Michaela hadn't expected him to fling his arms around her neck when he heard the news, she grew concerned when he didn't react at all. She even thought she could detect a trace of disapproval in his eyes and she didn't know what to think of it. "Sully?" When he didn't answer and looked away, her worry increased. "Sully, if I don't do anything, the bank will auction the house and I don't know if the new owner will continue to rent me my rooms. I need a place where I can practise." He still didn't budge.

Taking a step away from him and releasing his hands, she said quietly, "I had hoped you wanted me to stay here."

Instantly looking back at her, he pulled her into his arms. "Course I do. I'm just surprised, that's all." For a moment, he buried his face in her hair and closed his eyes. Of course he didn't want to lose her.

It was only when Hannah giggled that they finally broke their embrace.

When the family eventually entered his recovery room, Mr. James sat propped up against the pillows on the headboard and was wide awake. Seeing this, Hannah scampered to his bed and as she reached his side, she held the flowers out to him. "For you!"

Chris chuckled about the child's eagerness. "You and your Ma sure make me feel better. Thank you, Hannah." Hearing that she had made her friend happy, the little girl beamed.

"Well, the most of your healing is your doing, Mr. James," Michaela, who stood together with Sully at the end of the bed, pointed out. "In fact, I'm surprised that I could save your foot at all. However, we still have to wait until all the bruises and swellings are down to see if it will function as it should."

Chris looked anxiously at the doctor. "But I will be able to walk again, right?"

Michaela smiled reassuringly. "Even if there are some tendons and nerves destroyed irreparably, you should walk without greater discomfort soon. Well, maybe you won't be able to climb mountains but…"

Shocked when the teacher suddenly hit the quilt with his open palm, the doctor stopped. "What is it, Mr. James?"

Chris felt ashamed that he had startled everyone in the room. Little Hannah had rushed to her mother and was hiding behind her skirt, Dr. Mike gazed at him wide-eyed and Mr. Sully looked at him with raised eyebrows. The teacher swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, I apologize. It is just, well… Mandy will be terribly disappointed."

Michaela and Sully glanced at each other. Turning back to her patient, the doctor attempted to understand him and suggested, "Why don't you tell me what is bothering you, maybe I can allay your fears. And if you'll excuse the question, who is Mandy?"

Chris smiled. "Mandy is my fiancée and I'm the only one who is allowed to call her that. Her first name is Amanda." He paused momentarily and then added, "I'm missing her." Sighing, he turned his head to look out of the window and silence filled the room.

"Amanda is a beautiful name." Michaela tried to get back his attention. She had to know what it was that bothered him so much.

Hearing her voice, the teacher jolted out of his reverie and confirmed her remark. "Yes, it is. And she is a beautiful woman…" His voice trailed off again. He frowned and in an effort to regain his composure, he took a deep breath. "Well, being able to climb a mountain is literally what I'll have to do. Mandy will be here at Easter and she wants to climb Pike's Peak with me."

At this statement, Sully joined the conversation and remarked, "The mountain ain't gonna vanish. You just wait a little longer and…"

Chris interrupted him. "You don't understand, Mr. Sully. Mandy climbs a mountain every year at Easter. It started five years ago because of a bet and now she is determined to keep the tradition. She was so happy when I got the position here not only because I gained a job but also because of the prospect of climbing Pike's Peak. She will be devastated when I tell her that I can't take her up there."

Without even thinking twice, Sully told him, "I'll do it." Seeing the astonished look on the teacher's face, he added, "One good turn deserves another, it's the least I can do. You saved my daughter's life and now I save you from climbing a mountain with your hurt foot."

It was obvious that both men were very pleased with this arrangement. Chris was happy that he didn't have to disappoint Mandy and Sully was satisfied that he could finally do something for the teacher.

It was Michaela who couldn't hide that her joy was kept within limits. She bent down and picked Hannah up in an effort to chase away the uneasiness she felt about the prospect of Sully climbing Pike's Peak with a beautiful woman. They would be alone for several days… She knew she shouldn't think that way because Sully loved her and she trusted him by now, but…And there was something else… When Chris sensed her unease, he was instantly ready to dismiss the opportunity. "If you don't feel right about that, Dr. Quinn, you just have to say a word. I'm sure Mandy will understand…"

Blushing because she felt caught, Michaela hastily reassured, "No, it's not that, Mr. James, it's just that this year Easter Monday is also Hannah's birthday…"

Although Sully could tell this wasn't the only reason for her silent disapproval, he didn't want the opportunity to be helpful as well ruined. "I'll make sure that we're back in time. No need to worry about that."

Relieved, Chris asked, "So it's a deal?"

Sully went to the teacher's side and took his hand to shake it. "Deal."

Michaela and Sully hadn't sat on the porch steps for a while. It was Michaela's first night at home since the accident and the weather was wonderful. A soft breeze made it a little chilly though and as Sully felt her shivering, he put his arm around her shoulder. Snuggling even closer, Michaela wished she could shake off the sense of foreboding that had haunted her since the conversation with Mr. James.

Sully was caught up in his own fears. Could he give the woman at his side enough that she would stay with him? Why was he thinking that way? She never had asked him for anything but to be honest with her. She wanted to be safe with him, though not in the material sense. She needed reassurance that he truly loved her. All he could do for that now was to tell her how he felt as often as he could. Feeling her soft hair on his cheek Sully closed his eyes and savoured that moment.

They sat in silence for a while, both knowing that major problems stood right outside their door, but neither could bring themselves to talk about them. Instead, they reveled in the compassion of their closeness. Eventually, Sully said, "It's getting late, I should be going," Michaela lifted her head from his shoulder and turned her face towards him. Shyly smiling, she nodded at him. He gently stroked her cheek with his fingertips and whispered, "Night." Blushing by the tender contact, Michaela replied, "Good night, Sully." There was something about the way she breathed his name that made him want to hold her forever and Sully couldn't resist his urge to touch her lips with his any longer. Seeing the same desire burning in Michaela's eyes, he bent his head until he felt the warm, soft skin of her lips against his. Hearing her sigh in contentment he instantly intensified their contact by fully enveloping her mouth with his. As she gasped for air and parted her lips, he took the opportunity and slipped his tongue into her mouth to search for hers. This was both their undoing and they kissed as if it was the very last time in their life.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 

As the next days flew by, the tension between Michaela and Sully grew. Ever since the reality of Michaela having enough money to buy the biggest building in town had entered his mind, Sully couldn't stop thinking about it. He felt ashamed as he realized that he had never asked who had bought Hannah's clothes or all the other things she had needed until now. The only thing he had ever paid for had been her ticket to Wells and back. He had thought nothing of it when Michaela insisted on buying her own ticket herself back then. Sure, he had brought fishes or rabbits to the homestead from time to time, but that didn't count. A man should be able to provide his family, but with the money he earned by selling pelts and doing odd jobs for Robert E. he would never be able to give Michaela the life she deserved. When he looked at Michaela he couldn't help but wonder what she saw in him, if she really wanted to be with him. And then he was hit by another thought: did she just want to make sure that she could stay with Hannah? Every time he met her questioning gaze he averted his eyes. When he went fishing he didn't take Hannah anymore, so he could stay out longer. The night before he hadn't returned at all with the excuse that he had to look after his traps that were further away from the homestead.

Of course Michaela knew that something was wrong, she just didn't know what. She desperately hoped that it wasn't the melancholia again. Since the day he had promised to take Mr. James' fiancée up to Pike's Peak, Sully had begun staying away from her and Hannah more and more.When he had used the excuse that he had to set up new traps the first time, she had thought nothing of it. She had been busy at the clinic with some cases of bad colds. Fortunately, by that time, Mr. James' condition improved further and after Robert E. had made him some crutches, he had even started to move around in the recovery room. Since Hannah had to stay with her more often again, the little girl spent a lot of time with her new friend uncle Kiss, as she called him. One time, Michaela had entered the room while her daughter was telling him her favorite story. Seeing the way Mr. James handled her daughter, Michaela knew that they had made the right decision when they had hired him. In just three days, the opening ceremony for the school would be held and she hoped that she would find out before then what it was that bothered Sully so much.

This morning she had just stepped out of the barn after she had milked the cow when Sully entered the yard. "Mornin', sorry I'm late." As he had so often the last days, he refused to meet her gaze.

"That's alright, Sully." Michaela paused for a moment because she feared a new rejection. "Will you come with us to the reservation?"

His reply was short and didn't show any emotions. "Sure."

Michaela couldn't take it anymore. She stepped towards him and tentatively touched his arm. "Please, Sully, tell me what's wrong."

When he still averted his eyes, her own began to fill with tears. Determined to not let him see this, she briskly turned away from him and started towards the house. "I'll get Hannah," was all she said.

Sully could hear the hurt in her voice and when she turned around to leave his side, he reached out for her but it was too late already .

On their way to the Indian village, barely a word was spoken. Michaela feared that if she started to speak she wouldn't be able to hold back the tears any longer. Sully on the other hand felt terrible because he knew he had disappointed her once more. However, he had no idea how to take away her pain. Even Hannah was quiet as she was still too tired for her usual babbling.

When they arrived at the reservation, they were greeted by Cloud Dancing and his wife. While Snowbird took Hannah into her arms, Sully hopped down from the wagon and then turned to help Michaela. The following movements had become routine for them; Michaela laid her hands on Sully's shoulder while positioning herself for the jump and he would wrap his hands around her waist to support her. Today, he remembered that he had been astonished when he noticed that his fingers on her back almost touched as he had helped her down for the first time. Her body seemed to be so fragile that a sudden urge to protect her against all harm and everyone that could cause it flooded him. As she stood on the ground next to him, he couldn't make himself let go of her and Michaela didn't mind. Their gazes were locked and for the first time in days she could finally see and feel his love again. She didn't want the moment to end.

But Cloud Dancing broke it. "It is good to see you, my friends. Sully," he laid his hand on his brother's shoulder, "I need to ask for your help."

Sully immediately took his hands from Michaela's waist and turned towards the medicine man. "Anything, just tell me what to do."

"You know that we are only allowed to leave the reservation two men at a time." When his brother nodded, the Indian continued. "We need to go farther away for hunting and therefore at least three men have to go. I wanted to ask you to be the third man in our hunting party."

Sully didn't even think about it. "Course I come, when are we gonna leave?"

Cloud Dancing answered, "This minute, we just waited if you wouldarrive with Dr. Mike. We will be gone several days, maybe a week or so. We have to go deeper into the woods than we have before."

Michaela managed to hide her disappointment. Sully would miss the opening of the school. Since he had built it, she had hoped he would stand by her side. She wanted him to be as proud of it as she was. But of course it was more important for him to support his Indian family, she understood that. There was just a little pang she felt in her heart as she realized that he acted as if she wasn't even there. Hannah, however, had seen her mother straightening up and knew that there was something wrong. As she anxiously asked, "Pa go way?" Michaela took her daughter from Snowbird and enveloped her in her arms.

"Your Pa is going to help that your little friends here get enough to eat." Hearing Michaela's voice, Sully came back to reality. He had reveled for some moments in the prospect of being out in the woods with Cloud Dancing for more than just a few hours. It would be like back then when he had lived with his Indian family…Seeing that his daughter didn't take it so easy, Sully turned toward Michaela and Hannah again. Stroking his little girl's long locks, he assured, "I'll be back as soon as I can, sweet girl, I promise." and gave her a peck on the cheek.

As he lifted his head again to meet Michaela's eyes, he didn't succeed. Puzzled for a moment because he was sure she wouldn't mind him helping his family, he suddenly noticed her clenched jaws. Laying his hand on her shoulder and running it down her arm to her wrist, he spoke in a low voice, "I can't deny him this and I don't wanna, you understand that, right!"

As he spoke, he lifted her free hand and when he finished his question, he pressed his lips on the back of her hand, again searching for her eyes. This time he met them but was startled when he saw the sudden anger in her look.

"Of course I understand and you know that perfectly well." Stopping because she felt Hannah tensing up, Michaela took a deep breath to suppress the need to yell at Sully. What did he think of her, he of all people should know that she never would prevent him from helping the Indians! She just wished she could have seen any sign that he found it at least a little hard to leave her and Hannah for more than just a few days. She knew she would miss him, maybe it wasn't the same for him…Determined that no one noticed the sadness she felt, she turned towards Cloud Dancing and asked, "Is there anyone here who needs my medical help?" When the medicine man nodded and gestured to follow her, she did so.

Sully and Snowbird glanced at each other; both had been aware of the tension in Michaela's voice. And they hadn't been the only ones; Flying Sun, who had watched the scene from the sidelines, was pleased that things between Sully and the white woman weren't going as well as she had feared.

Two days later, Dorothy Jennings proudly presented the townsfolk of Colorado Springs with the first issue of her newspaper, the Gazette. She had ordered all she needed like a hand print, newsprint, ink and a type box in Denver. Loren had agreed to put a desk in the back corner of the store where she could write and keep all her things. In fact, Loren had been relieved that he finally had his peace and quiet back because his sister-in-law was busy with interviewing people and writing her article. However, as he read it now, he wished he had never helped her. Looking up from his copy after he had finished reading it, he met Dorothy's expectant look. He waved the sheet in front of her face and exclaimed, "Are you insane? I hope no one's seen this yet! If Dr. Mike ever catches sight of it, she might leave this town for good!"

The red-haired woman didn't avoid his angry look. Raising her voice as well she replied, "I just wrote the truth. The people of this town should get to hear the arguments and have the chance to make up their own minds."

Loren snorted. "You have no idea what you're talking about! Thanks to Dr. Mike I have made the biggest profit in years, and I'm not the only one! Can ya tell me one good reason why you are against her? And don't tell me it's still about Hannah!"

"Of course not, although there is enough reason why she shouldn't be allowed to raise that child…", Dorothy responded indignantly.

Loren threw his copy onto the counter and banged his flat hand on it. "Damned woman! Let's hope the doctor will never see that!" Still cursing, Loren left the mercantile and headed in the direction of the clinic.

On his way he passed several groups of people engaged in heated discussion. When he finally reached the clinic porch he lost his heart. It seemed everyone had already read the article so there was nothing he could do about it anyway. Sighing heavily, he turned and walked toward the saloon.

Michaela sat at her desk in the examination room, unable to believe what she was reading. Mr. James had taken a seat on the chair opposite her and watched the doctor carefully. He had bought a copy of the Gazette when he saw the headline. After reading the whole article he had decided that Dr. Quinn needed to know what the entire town was talking about. When Michaela finally laid the sheet down on her desk, he could see the copy fully again.

** The Gazette**

**A newspaper for the people of Colorado Springs**

**By Dorothy Jennings**

Great opening ceremony for the new school on Saturday, March 30th 

_On Saturday, March 30th, Colorado Springs will get an institution that every civilized town should have – a school. All citizens are cordially invited to participate in the opening ceremony, which will start at noon sharp. Reverend Johnson will bless the beautiful building that was designed by Mr. Byron Sully and built under his supervision. Of course we all have already seen the gorgeous schoolhouse from the outside and after the ceremony, everyone will get the opportunity to take a look at the rooms inside. Mr. Christopher James, the teacher that was hired by the town council, will inform everyone who is interested about the classes. As we all know, parents won't have to pay for anything their children will need at school. That brings me to the woman who had spent the money for the school and all the other things that belong to it. But first, we shouldn't forget that a man had to die for that money. Maybe we could name the school after him. And second, one could think that donating so many dollars is a really generous gesture, but shouldn't we ask about Dr. Quinn's motivations? I've been informed that she intends to buy the former boarding house soon and with that she will own the two biggest buildings in town. What will come next? We should show her that this town is not her property, that she can't buy us. I would suggest that the town council think of a way to get independent from a woman no one can rely on. May I remind the readers that she calls herself a doctor and yet, she wasn't even in town when people here suffered and died? She rather was on vacation instead! Do we really want to put the fate of our children in her hands? Our boys and girls should go to school and learn how to write, read and count but also how to live moral lives. What about the moral of Dr. Quinn? She is a single woman who lives in the house of a man that has to sleep God knows where, if he actually leaves the homestead in the evenings at all. Can we really trust such a woman? Think about it carefully and you will find the answer easily. We should all band together and show her her limits._

_By the way, after the official opening of our new school all visitors are invited to Grace's Café for a buffet._

Chris was surprised that the doctor didn't react at all. When he looked into her face he could see though, that she was hit hard. She had drained all color and a vein was pulsing in her temple. When he tentatively asked "Dr. Quinn?" her startled gaze flew towards him.

Michaela took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Mr. James, I needed a moment to digest that." Her eyes wandered with disgust to the copy at her desk. She didn't even know what she was feeling right now. A huge part of her wanted to pack her things and leave this town immediately, but an even bigger part told her that this was not the town speaking in the newspaper but a woman who obviously wanted her to give up. Well, she wouldn't do Mrs. Jennings that favor. Raising her chin, she looked at the teacher and attempted a smile. "It seems as if she accepts you, Mr. James. That's a good sign, isn't it?"

Chris was amazed. "You're going to let her get away with this?"

By this time, Michaela had gained her composure again. "There's nothing I can really do. People always believe what they want to and I just have to wait and see how they will react. I'm more worried how this all will affect Hannah…" Her voice trailed off. She knew that she had to take the accusations about her moral seriously and she would think about them very carefully.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Chris had made a decision which he knew might lead to losing the job he hadn't even started yet. Last evening, when he had had supper with Dr. Quinn at Grace's Café, he had first noticed the odd looks the doctor had earned and then witnessed the whispering after she had left with Hannah. The saloon keeper had told everyone who wanted to listen that his plan to sue Michaela still stood and a group of women had discussed the situation of "the poor girl".

Now, however, the teacher was sitting on a chair next to Dr. Quinn in front of the new school, facing the audience opposite him. The reverend was saying the blessings right now and when the clergyman thanked Dr. Quinn for the great gift at the end of his speech, sending a smile in her direction, Michaela made a movement for the very first time since the ceremony had begun; she took in a shaken breath only the teacher could hear.

After the reverend had given him the floor, Mr. James stood tall in front of the crowd. "I'm thankful that this town gave me the opportunity to be the teacher in this beautiful building right behind me. I promise that I will do my very best to teach the children of this territory their numbers and letters, and I assure you that I won't only show them how to read and write the words and figures but also how to use them. Being careful with words can prove to be essential for the reputation of a person. To explain what I mean, I'll take one sentence from the yesterday's Gazette; I'm sure almost everybody here had read it."

Pausing for a moment, he noticed that he had everyone's attention now. A stunned silence had fallen upon the place but Chris knew that he was doing the right thing. Even if he hadn't talked to the reverend and Mrs. Cooper last night to learn about the events from half a year ago and the epidemic last month, he would have been sure that Dr. Quinn didn't deserve all the accusations that had been made in the newspaper, and someone had to say this out loud. He didn't want to live in a town that was ruled by gossip and of course no child should grow up in such surroundings.

So he continued, raising his voice slightly in order to be louder than the murmur that had set in by now. "Let's for example take the tiny words "had to". When you say, a man "had to" die then this sounds as if someone wanted him to perish and made him to do so. In the article it is implied that this "someone" was Dr. Quinn. Well, I'm sure that the people who were there remember that the doctor fought together with Reverend Johnson and Mrs. Cooper to save Mr. Lewis' life for two days. That means using the words "had to" in this sentence I mentioned was wrong."

Again, Chris stopped momentarily. Some people had averted their eyes by now, others were just sitting in silence, but he had gained encouraging looks from a few women. Taking a deep breath, he eventually added, "I'm also convinced that you all know that if I analyzed the article further, I could find even more examples of words that are used incorrectly which distort the facts this way. I'm sure you also agree that Dr. Quinn deserves words full of warmth and gratitude for giving each child in this town the chance to learn without their parents having to pay for anything the pupils will need." Chris was smiling when he spoke the last words. "So, if you'll still want me to, I'll teach the children of this town how to use their words carefully. I thank you."

A deep silence lay over the place after the teacher had finished his speech, but as Charlotte started to clap her hands, more people followed her example until a roar of applause was heard.

Hannah had made herself comfortable on her mother's hip. The little girl had felt uneasy for quite some time now but since her father had left, she felt really bad. Although her ma tried to cheer her up whenever she could, the little girl had sensed that her ma was worried about something and yesterday, it had become even worse. Normally, people greeted them out on the street, but they hadn't done that anymore. When they had come to town this morning, people had acted even stranger. They looked at her as if they felt sorry for her but they ignored her ma. Of course, Colleen, Brian, their ma and Uncle Chris had been nice as always but her grandpa hadn't come to them though… However, Uncle Chris had talked in front of all the people and now almost everything seemed to be back to normal. People came up and wanted to shake her ma's hand but although her ma smiled, Hannah could tell that she still didn't feel well at all. She wished her pa was here to cheer her ma up. Why did he have to be away all the time? Lately he hadn't even tucked her in…she missed her bedtime story… Where was he? All the little girl wanted was for the three of them to be happy together again. Sighing, she leant her head against her ma's chest.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

The three men had made a big bag over the last four days. The changing but steady rhythm of tracking, riding and resting had calmed Sully's nerves and in the meantime, he had lost track of time completely. He couldn't even tell if it was the fourth or the fifth night that he had sat with his brother by the fire. Their third companion, Proud Stag, was already sleeping.

Cloud Dancing watched his brother who sat opposite him, enveloping a tea cup with his hands. Soon after his initial eagerness to be out in the woods again, his friend had become withdrawn, a behaviour the medicine man knew did not bode well, and it began to worry him. So he decided it was time to talk and without any advance warning he said, "Dr. Mike is a very special woman."

Startled out of his thoughts by the sudden sound of Cloud Dancing's voice, Sully's eyes flew to his brother. "Course she is."

When he bowed his head again, the medicine man had to strain to understand the next words.

"And I ain't deserving her."

The Indian nodded. "If you feel this way, then you are right."

Sully was puzzled and slightly taken aback; wasn't his friend supposed to say something encouraging? Deciding to put aside his surprise, he tried to explain further, "I have no money…no education…She's a doctor, Cloud Dancing! I can't expect her to wanna be with me."

The young man exhaled a long breath and let his shoulders slump down. Silence settled in between them when Sully wouldn't start speaking again. After a long while the Cheyenne spoke as if there hadn't been a pause. "What do you think she deserves, my friend?"

Sully didn't hesitate. "She deserves to be happy."

The medicine man agreed. "Every human being deserves that." Seeing that his brother still wasn't able to see what was important, he decided to help him along. "So you think Dr. Mike needs money from you and for you to prove that you went to school to be happy?"

"Course not!" Sully exclaimed, "It sounds ridiculous when you say it this way!"

Cloud Dancing just raised his eyebrows. Searching for the right words, the younger man added, "I really don't know what's wrong with me. I know that she wants to be with me, I can see it in her eyes. When we look at each other, it is as if something is pulling us together, I've never felt this way before. I just…" he trailed off when he suddenly recognized that his fear of losing Michaela had made him push her away. This way he could leave by himself and didn't have to endure the hurt of being left by her. The only time he hadn't such feelings had been when they had worked at the new school together. He had felt equal to her then and she had been so proud of his work and even recommended him in Wells… But the school would always remind him that this had been the first time she had trusted him without any doubt. The schoolhouse…

Even in the dark, Cloud Dancing saw that his friend's face suddenly lost all color. Concerned, he bent towards him and laid his hand on his arm when he asked, "What's wrong my friend, you don't look…"

The medicine man was startled when his brother suddenly jumped up and began to pace agitatedly. Running his hands through his hair, Sully choked out the words, "I've ruined it, Cloud Dancing. I can't expect her to forgive me this time."

Trying to understand the younger man's outburst, the Indian said, "What do you mean with…"

Sully cut him off. "She had asked me to stand beside her at the ceremony and I forgot about it! That's why she didn't come out of that teepee when we left; of course there had been a patient but it hadn't been an emergency. She just couldn't look me in the eyes because she knew I would have seen her disappointment! She always tries so hard to be strong…she shouldn't feel that way around me!"

Sully slumped down next to the fire again. Burying his face in his hands he reiterated, "I've ruined it, Cloud Dancing! She'd been so proud of our work and wanted me to be there!"

In an attempt to calm down his friend the Indian reassured him, "Dr. Mike is a reasonable woman, she understood that you had to come to help me when I asked you."

"Course she did, she always does. She never thinks of herself. The problem is that she knows that I forgot it! How could I be so selfish, I've been so wrapped up in thinking that I don't deserve her that I proved it to be true again!"

Cloud Dancing had enough. "You should stop thinking that way, my friend, or you will prove your fear to be truth. You should think how to make it up to her and learn from your mistakes instead."

"But…"

"Don't you know by now that Dr. Mike needs you as much as you need her? So you have made a mistake, but no good can come from such guilt. Be the man you want her to trust and face the challenge, Sully!"

Finally, the first tentative smile since they were out in the woods appeared on Sully's face.

"You're right, Cloud Dancing. As soon as we are back, I'm gonna talk to her." Suddenly, he couldn't get home soon enough. "We start back with sun up, right?"

Cloud Dancing smiled; his friend was back.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

On Tuesday, Michaela had made up her mind. Sully hadn't even been away for a whole week but the chores had already taken their toll on her. She could handle the clinic, take care of her daughter, cook, wash the laundry and keep the house clean; she had done that before. Now, however, there were all the things added that Matthew had done or Sully when he was at home. Since she obviously couldn't count on Sully being there, she had to look out for another solution. For now, Robert E. had agreed to tend to the animals until Sully's return and had taken them into town. The wood for the hearth would still last for a few days but the stables were in a bad shape already. She hated to admit that she couldn't manage the homestead all by herself, but it was a fact and so she had decided it would be better to move back into the clinic.

Deep down Michaela knew though that she was using an excuse. It was as if Mrs. Jennings' article had catapulted her out of a dream world. As soon as she had read the newspaper, she had known that it weren't the ridiculous accusations regarding David's death or the epidemic she had to fear, Mr. James speech had helped a lot in those regards, but the town's attention was directed at her personal life now. The last thing she wanted was for Hannah to suffer from the gossip and the odd looks she already received. Her little girl had been far too quiet over the last few days and flatly refused to leave her side, a behaviour that worried Michaela immensely. She knew she had to act soon.

When mother and daughter left the homestead on Wednesday morning, the first crate with books and some other things was already packed. If Michaela had her way, Sully would live at the homestead and Hannah could be where she wanted to be during the day as well as at night.

When Sully arrived at his house that morning, no one answered his calls. He dismounted his horse nevertheless, still hoping that Michaela just hadn't heard him. However, by the time he entered the yard, a strong feeling of foreboding had taken possession of him. He seemed to be proved right when he eventually pushed the door open and his eyes fell immediately on the packed crate. Fear gripped his heart and squeezed it. Michaela was leaving him! He couldn't let this happen.

When he rode up in front of the clinic, he couldn't even tell how he had gotten there. All his thoughts were fixed on the task convincing the woman he loved more than life itself to stay with him and promising her that he would never fail her again.

Hank, sitting in his usual pose on a chair on the saloon porch, was pleased that there would be a distraction very soon. "It's about time that ya came, Sully. If ya don't pay attention, the teacher might take your place; he's already saved Michaela's honor in public."

Sully knew that the barkeeper just wanted to provoke him. "I got no time for your games, Hank." He hopped down, tethered his horse on the post and turned to step up to the clinic porch. Hank, however, was far away from being done with him. "She ain't there, has an emergency out of town but I can keep ya entertained." He reached in his pocket to fish for the copy of the Gazette.

As Sully replied, "I ain't interested in your girls, you gotta know that by now." Hank smirked. "Don't ya worry, I got a piece of culture here. The town's got a newspaper now." With that he held out the sheet for Sully who stepped towards the saloon owner skeptically. The expression of smug satisfaction on the other man's face made him feel increasingly suspicious.

Hank didn't get disappointed as he watched the mountain man read the article. The color of his face changed from a whiter shade of pale into one of deep red. When Sully suddenly ran in the direction of the mercantile, the barkeeper pushed his chair away and followed him.

Disregarding any other person in the store, Sully stormed towards the red-haired woman who sat behind her desk. His voice was dangerously low when he started but his volume rose with every word he spoke until he was yelling at Dorothy, who had paled seeing the ire in the young man's face. "You claim to care for my daughter but make every breath her mother takes miserable. And don't come to me with this "our family" stuff again, because you are not my family, do you understand me! I don't want you near my daughter. And if you ever, you hear me, ever start such a smear campaign against Michaela again, I'll make sure that you can never write another word!" Without waiting for Dorothy's reply, Sully turned to leave the mercantile. Passing Loren on his way out, he just hissed at him, "And you let this happen, how can you ever look in Hannah's eyes again?"

As he stepped out of the store, Sully saw Michaela arriving in the wagon at the clinic. Even over the distance, he sensed how she froze on her seat when she saw him. Watching her hasty movements when she eventually tried to climb down and her long skirt got caught in the process, he knew that he had to get to her immediately. He didn't look left or right when he pushed his way through the gaping crowd that had formed to witness his outburst at Dorothy; his only concern was directed at the fragile figure that had disappeared into the clinic.

With quick strides, Sully reached the door right after Michaela had entered the room. He didn't give her the chance to hide herself behind her desk and be the doctor, but pulled her immediately in his arms while he pushed the door close with his foot. Holding her tight, his voice cracked as he told her, "I'm so sorry, Michaela. I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you."

Finding herself in the safe haven of Sully's embrace, Michaela lost her composure. She couldn't control the trembling of her body and try as she might, she wasn't able to speak. So she just buried her face in his chest, inhaling the smell of the woods he was still carrying with him. She closed her eyes and started to relax hearing the soothing sounds Sully made near her ear. She felt his hand stroking her hair and when he whispered, "We gotta talk, Michaela," she just nodded and tried to hold on to the promise he made, "It's gonna be alright, you'll see, it's all gonna be alright."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 

After several long comforting moments in Sully's embrace, Michaela had composed herself enough to speak again and told him quietly, "I had to make a decision, Sully."

With that, she carefully pulled herself out of his arms. As she took a deep breath to tell him about her moving plans, Sully, however,pre-empted her. "Let me first, please."

Michaela nodded, took another step away from him and didn't dare to meet his eyes. Would he tell her now what it was that had bothered him so much before he left? Had he made a decision out in the woods as well?

Sully was desperately searching for the right words. It seemed as if the ability to find them had left him at this very moment. Seeing her taking another step away from him, he looked helplessly down at her. Why was it so difficult just to say what he felt?

As the silence between them lasted, Michaela began to fear the worst: living his earlier life for the last week had shown Sully that he wanted it back; he would leave. Feeling tears rising, Michaela started to turn so she could sit down behind her desk. There was safe territory, there she…

Before she could finish her thought, she felt herself being pulled back into Sully's arms. "Please, stay here with me." she heard him whisper near her ear, "I'm so sorry… I just…I don't know how to tell you… When I sat with Cloud Dancing by the fire, everything seemed to be so easy…" His voice trailed off again.

Hearing his last words, Michaela was convinced that she was right. She should have been prepared…since she had told him she would buy this building and stay in Colorado Springs, he had acted strangely. Maybe he felt too much pressure to take their relationship further; if she could allay his fears… Eventually, she brought herself to tell him, "Sully, if you want to end it, I understand but you have to believe me that I would never…"

She was startled when he suddenly gripped her upper arms and held her away so he could look into her eyes. His tone was hoarse as he spoke, "End it? God, Michaela, don't you know by now that I could never let you go?" Pulling her close again he cupped her head against his chest and tried to put his fears into words. "I just…I can't believe that you really want to be with me, I mean you are a doctor and you have all that money…I…I just don't know how I can give you what you deserve…" Now, that he had finally said it, he closed his eyes and anxiously waited for her reply.

"Oh Sully," Michaela breathed a sigh of relief, although it was one of disappointment as well. "If this was all about the money then you have worried for nothing. If I was looking for a man with money, assuming I've been looking for a husband at all…" She froze for a moment, this was not the word she had wanted to say, so she hastily amended, "If I was looking for a life a woman should lead in the common sense, I would have stayed in Boston. I would only have had to attend the balls and social events and wait until a man had taken notice of me and then made me his wife." She bent back because she wanted him to look at her. "You know that this is not what I want, don't you?"

Sully saw a tear rolling down her cheek and tenderly brushed it away with his thumb. "Yeah, I think I know that. It's just…" Again he searched for the right words, "It's just, you seem to have all the things you need and there is nothing left for me that I can give you… and a man should…"

Michaela stopped him again. "Sully, you didn't listen. I don't want to be with you because I want you to buy me things."

She paused for a moment; if she told him why she needed him so much, she would show him a part of her that she would never be able to hide from him again. But if she wanted their relationship to work, there wasn't really a choice. Still in his arms, she took a deep breath, averted her eyes and began absent-mindedly to finger his beads as she gave him another piece of her soul. "Sully, you are the first person besides Father that I feel safe enough with to just be Michaela, not the woman I need to be for all the others when I want to survive in this world as a doctor. You give me the feeling that I can allow myself to be tired or sad or…" Michaela knew she had to admit it if she wanted him to see what he meant to her. Taking in a shaking breath, she forced herself to continue, "I can let my guard down when I'm with you because I know you would never turn my weaknesses against me, at least not intentionally. That's worth far more than anything you can buy for money, Sully. Knowing I can hope that you'll be there for me when you are around, is more than I've ever been dreaming about."

While she was speaking, her voice became lower and lower and Sully had to strain to understand her at all. However, he had heard every word and his heart pounded the louder as her words grew quieter. Tightening his embrace, Sully let out a long breath. This woman was incredible; he had already hurt her in so many ways and yet, she still trusted him. At this moment, he silently vowed to himself to do everything in his power to never let her down again.

Suddenly, her last words reverberated in his head. _When you are around_…What was she thinking? As it dawned on him, he carefully loosened their contact and gently lifted her chin with the fingertips of his right hand. Seeing fear lingering in Michaela's unique eyes, Sully laid all his love for her in his tone. "I love you, Michaela, and all I want is for us to be together. I ain't always gonna be able to be with you but I ain't wanting my old life with the Cheyenne back."

Noticing a glimmer of hope creeping into her look, Sully dared a tentative smile. "Does that mean everything is back to normal?"

Obviously, this had been the wrong question because her facial expression changed into a concerned one again. Seeing her struggling for words, he anxiously asked, "What is it?"

Michaela knew he wouldn't like it, but she had to do it nevertheless. "I have to move back into the clinic and we should think about…"

Sully cut her off. "I can't see why you have to, Michaela, I thought we'd just set things straight again…"

Sensing that he was beginning to get annoyed, she took his left hand in hers. As she looked down on their united hands, she started to explain, "Actually, there are two reasons, Sully. First of all, I realized that I can't manage the homestead and the necessary chores that come along with it all by myself."

Seeing that Sully opened his mouth to interject, she hastily added, "Since Matthew can't help anymore and I'm not sure when you are able to be there…"  
Sully stopped her by laying the fingertips of his free hand over her mouth. He knew that it had been his fault; he hadn't given any thought to her situation when he had left and a new wave of guilt made his voice crack as he assured, "I ain't gonna forget to take care of things like I did this time, Michaela. I promise you won't have to worry about the animals and all those other things again."

Seeing her hesitation to carry on with her reasons, Sully knew that her next argument wouldn't be as easily refuted as the first one. Michaela let go of him and turned to take a few steps away. This time he let her go, if she felt better this way, it was alright with him.

Clasping her hands in front of her, Michaela started to fidget with her fingers as her nervousness grew. Clearing her throat, she eventually brought herself to tell him what it really was that weighed so heavily on her, "I'm sure you've read that article."

When she saw that he wanted to chime in, she lifted a hand to stop him. "I know that most of the accusations are ridiculous and thanks to Mr. James, I'm sure that most of the town people see it the same way. But there is one point, I didn't pay enough attention to so far. It's not right that I live in your house while you have no place to stay. When I moved in, it was to give Hannah a safe place she could call home and she has that now. However, since you are back and Hannah feels comfortable with you, I should give you your house back. And people are right when they say…"

At this point Sully had enough. Not only did it bother him that he didn't know what the teacher had done, he also couldn't let her go on with that flimsy explanation. So he cut her short and demanded, "You should say what it really is that makes you want to move out."

As if he hadn't interfered, Michaela finished her sentence, "…that the situation isn't proper, after all, I am an unmarried woman…" Her embarrassment grew and she stopped abruptly.

Sully tried to understand her, "It didn't bother you before, why now?"

She still avoided to meet his gaze. "Since the article, people are looking at me through different eyes, even Hannah has noticed it… I don't want her to suffer because of me."

"And you really believe that if you move out she ain't gonna suffer? You are her mother, how can you leave her?"

Hearing the anger in his voice, her own tone rose as well. "Of course I won't leave her! We just have to think about the right arrangement to make it work. We can keep things the same way they are now, only I will be the one who leaves the homestead in the evenings and at nights when you are not home, she can have a cot here as well."

Sully knew he had to make Michaela see that she was acting irrationally. "If you were honest with yourself, you would admit that you are doing this for you, not for Hannah!"

As Michaela opened her mouth to protest, a soft knock on the door was heard. Shooting Sully an angry look that told him that they weren't finished with their conversation by any means, Michaela called, "Come in!"

Chris and Hannah had taken a walk through the meadow together and as they entered the examination room, they brought a gust of fresh air with them. Relieved that there wasn't a new patient but her daughter and the teacher instead, Michaela's face broke into a wide smile. "Hello sweetheart, did you have a nice time with Mr. James?"

The little girl was surprised to see her pa standing there and didn't quite know what to do. Of course, she wanted to run into her ma's arms but she hadn't seen her pa for a while; maybe she should give him a hug first…but he looked as if he was angry and the almost black beard on his face didn't make things any better. That's why she kept standing next to her big friend, still holding his hand.

Chris, however, sensed the child's uneasiness as the grip of her tiny hand on his own tightened. In an attempt to lighten the mood, he turned towards Michaela. "Maybe your daughter got a little confused when you called me Mr. James. Since I'm her Uncle _Kiss_ now, it might be easier for her if you call me Chris as you did when I first arrived." He couldn't suppress a grin using his new nickname.

Still smiling, Michaela stepped closer to them and bent down to pick up her daughter while she responded, "I'll do that, but only if you call me Michaela or at least Dr. Mike."

Chris had seen how Sully slightly flinched when the doctor suggested that he could use her first name when he addressed her and he immediately decided to never use it. He knew how he would feel if any other man would call his fiancée Mandy instead of Amanda.

In the meantime, Michaela had carried Hannah to her father and after giving her a peck on the rosy cheek, she told the little girl, "Look who's back, sweetheart. Don't you want to give your pa a hug?" She raised her eyebrows expectantly when she gazed in her daughter's eyes. Hannah put her index finger in her mouth and nodded shyly.

Sully was feeling like an outsider. Was it really just because of the week he hadn't been there? Although, if he was honest, he seemed to have missed a lot when he was out in the woods. So he decided to let his worries go for now, took his daughter out of Michaela's arms and put her on the floor. Crouching down next to her, he told the little girl, "When I sat by the fire at night, I've thought a lot about you and I remembered that you told me your wolf is feeling lonely. So I've made him a wife." While he was talking, he fished in his pocket and eventually produced a carved wolf out of it. Immediately, the little girl forgot all her reservations and threw her arms around her pa's neck, the wooden figure secured in her small fist. "Thank, Pa!" she exclaimed and her world seemed to be alright again, at least for now.

Knowing his daughter was on his side, Sully decided to use that fact to his the advantage and returned the conversation to the former subject of his and Michaela's discussion. Lifting Hannah with him while he was straightening, he whispered to her, "I'm gonna need your help, sweet girl."

When his daughter eagerly nodded, he explained in a normal tone, "I just had a discussion with your ma and she is being kind of stubborn."

He grinned at Hannah as Michaela indignantly exclaimed, "Sully!" and continued as if he hadn't heard her, "Your ma thinks it's better for you if she moves back into the clinic but I would say that ain't right, she should stay with you at the homestead. What do you think?"

The little girl was confused; now that her pa was finally back, her ma thought she had to leave? Of course she didn't want that! So she told her ma with all powers of persuation she could muster, "Leave not good!" and shook her head vehemently.

Sully's satisfaction was written on his face. "You see Michaela, you wouldn't do Hannah a favor if you moved out of the homestead."

Chris had watched the scene with interest and thought he could help a little as well. "Dr. Mike, if you were to do that because of the article, it would give people the wrong impression; they would think Mrs. Jennings had been right and that there actually is something improper going on out there. I, however, am convinced that if you don't change your habits, the gossip will dissipate on its own accord."

Seeing that Michaela was beginning to waver, Sully added, "That's exactly what I've been saying, thanks, Mr. James."

"It's just Chris, Mr. Sully."

"Alright, and it's just Sully, Chris."

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

After a busy afternoon and evening of cleaning the stables, getting the animals back in the barn and unpacking the crates, Hannah was sleeping and Michaela and Sully were sitting on the top porch step. Although Michaela had given in, she still didn't feel right about it and, of course, Sully knew it. However, he was tired now and knew he should leave, but he didn't want to part from her in disagreement. Sliding closer, he put an arm around her shoulder. Feeling her resistance he said softly, "Please Michaela, can't we postpone our discussion until tomorrow? I really need to get some sleep, but I won't leave as long as you are angry with me."

Instantly, Michaela felt guilty. Sully had come to her directly from the hunt and since their conversation, he had worked without taking a break. So she relaxed in his embrace and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Sully. My life is such a mess at the moment, everything seemed to happen at the same time and I'm a little overwhelmed. I want to do things the right way; if people don't trust me, I can't be their doctor." She grew silent for a moment and then quietly added, "… but that's all I am, a doctor."

Sully knew that she was far more than "just" a doctor but as he had said, he didn't want to argue right now. So he pulled her closer and with his other hand he turned her head so he could look into her eyes. Seeing the doubt there, he tried to reassure her, "It's gonna be alright, Michaela, I promise."

Michaela had to smile, despite herself, "And you always keep your promises, right?"

"Right." he said softly and seeing the love returning into her eyes, he ended their talk and finally gave in to his desire and lovingly pressed his lips against hers.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The next week went by seemingly without major incidents; although it were the small ones that would show their effects only later.

First, Sully had to leave again on Friday; since the last hunting party had been so successful, the council of elders had decided to immediately send a new one out and for that they needed Sully as the third man again. Although there wasn't any doubt about him going, he talked to Michaela about his decision this time. Of course, she wasn't happy to hear the news, but she understood the desperate situation her Cheyenne friends were in, not to mention that she was aware of the fact that there had to be a solution for their providing in general very soon; there had recently been dog soldiers around…

When they said their good byes, Sully first took his daughter into his arms. "Listen to me, sweet girl, I'm sorry I have to leave again but my family needs my help. Do you understand?"

Hannah gazed at her father. No, she didn't understand. Wasn't a ma and pa and child a family? Knowing that her father still waited for a response, the little girl eventually asked in a small voice, "I no family?"

Instantly, Sully hugged his daughter tightly. "Course you are, sweet girl, but the Cheyenne are my family, too; they helped me when I was so sick after your other ma went to heaven so that I could come back to you at all. And now they need me, so I gotta go." He bent back to gauge his daughter's reaction. "This is really important, but I promise to be back as soon as I can. How does that sound?" Still no reaction, but Sully knew he had to hurry and so he just put her down and added, "I want ya to be a good girl for your ma, will ya do that for me?"

The little girl hesitantly nodded and took a step away. Her pa had only been home for a day and now he was leaving again; she didn't like that.

When Sully saw that Michaela was getting ready to pick Hannah up, he intercepted her and pulled her in an embrace. He allowed himself to relish the feeling of Michaela in his arms for a few moments before he loosened their contact. He needed to see in her eyes that she was alright, but Michaela's thoughts were with Hannah. The comment the little girl had made about her not being family worried the concerned mother deeply. However, captured by the blue intensity of Sully's eyes, she lost her train of thought momentarily. Him leaving was different this time. Not only that Sully had made sure that Robert E. would come and help if it was necessary, but they had talked all night as well. Still mesmerized gazing at him, Michaela said softly, "I'll miss you."

A fleeting smile crossed Sully's face as he replied, "I love you."

However, he had to go and so he only quickly pressed his lips tenderly against hers before he stroke her cheek affectionately with the back of his hand for the last time. When he finally mounted his horse, Michaela picked Hannah up and tried to reassure her, "Your pa will be back as soon as he can, sweetheart; but for now, it is important to him to help his Indian family."

Her daughter's reply, "I no potant?", made her heart break for the little girl. Hugging her tightly, Michaela instantly reacted. "Of course you are, Hannah; you are the most important person in your father's life!"

"But why he go way?" The child couldn't understand that. Her most favourite person was her ma and she always wanted to be close to her ma and so she wanted her pa to feel the same way about being with her as well; maybe she should… The little girl got an idea and she intended to carefully consider it.

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On Saturday, Amanda Miller decided that she had enough of her brothers. She had agreed to stay for the planting of the crops and they were done with that now. She was tired of being the mother for a bunch of grown-up men; she finally wanted her own life. For starters, she would leave the day after tomorrow to surprise her fiancé with her arrival a week early. She couldn't wait to lie in his arms again. Chris was different from all the men she'd met so far. Growing up in a small village full of men and being the only female in her family, she was used to harsh tones and the need to constantly stand up to six headstrong older brothers and a stubborn father. Chris, however, cared for her, he always considered her wishes and needs. They had met accidentally in town when a farmer in a store yelled at her and insisted on being served before "just a stupid woman". Instead using his fists to solve the problem as it usually happened when one of her brothers was with her, Chris had used words; she had been impressed by his gentle but determined manner. Of course it didn't hurt that he was extremely handsome, too. A few weeks ago, he had written to her about his accident and if she could have had it her way, she would have hurried to him immediately but, of course, she couldn't leave her family when they were in the middle of the spring sowing. Besides, Chris had told her that the town had a lady doctor who took really good care of him. That sounded interesting for sure, maybe this was a woman she could get along with, a woman who was used of hard work and not such a spoiled one that was running around in fancy clothes and with complicated hairstyle, unable to lift a pound of flour without twisting her back. And there was something else; she didn't have to give up her plan to climb Pike's Peak because there was a mountain man who had agreed to accompany her. A real mountain man, she couldn't wait!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Dorothy had bought a book about all the things a journalist should know. It said if you have written something that had been proved wrong, the serious journalist would write a retraction. Well, since she was still convinced that her facts had been right, she didn't see a reason for doing that. What people made for themselves out of her words, was not in her hands. She was disappointed though that the impression of her article hadn't lasted for a longer period of time. Not that she was angry with Mr. James, he was a man and men had every right to give their opinion; she just couldn't stand it when a woman thwarted her plans. And that's what Dr. Quinn had done. What was it about this woman that made so many people admire her? If she actually was that good, then why was she here on the frontier? There must be a reason and she, Dorothy Jennings, was determined to find it out. Her new book also said that connections to other journalists were a great help and on Sunday she made up her mind: she would send her article to the Denver Post and maybe she should even contact one of the big newspapers in Boston…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

On Monday, Michaela agreed that Chris could move back into his flat in the schoolhouse. Though he still needed crutches, his leg had improved considerably and he would be able to manage daily life by himself again. Hannah was proud that she could help as well; Uncle Chris had allowed her to carry the book with the exciting tales and colored pictures he had often read her from. Her only concern was that he wouldn't do that anymore now that he was away from the clinic.

As they all entered the teacher's room, mother and daughter remained for a moment in common surprise before they were able to move again. Hannah had never thought that so many books existed at all and Michaela felt as if she were in a library. Chris had to grin to himself seeing the stunned expressions on their faces. "Dr. Mike, you are cordially invited to borrow every book you want to read."

Michaela's face lit up. "I might do just that, thank you." For the next few minutes, she was lost for her surroundings because she couldn't resist stepping closer to the back wall that was covered with shelves full of books all the way from the floor up to the ceiling.

Chris turned his attention to the little girl that still clutched the collection of Grimm's fairy tales to her chest and who was gazing in wide-eyed amazement at the sea of books in front of her. Crouching down next to her, he suggested with a wink, "We could check if we find another book for you and when you come and visit me, I could read some new stories to you."

Hannah grinned widely as she eagerly nodded. She was so happy to know that they still would meet for their reading hours and her plan returned into her mind. _Maybe it could actually work_, the child thought.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

On Tuesday, Michaela received a telegram from Mr. Goldt that they had to meet immediately. Since she couldn't leave Colorado Springs right now because she had to think of Hannah, she sent a wire back with an invitation for the lawyer.

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Wednesday and Thursday went by without any incidents that would matter later, and on Friday morning, Sully was back. He was early enough to catch Michaela and Hannah before they left the homestead. His two women were just leaving the house as Sully rode into the yard. Seeing them, a wide smile spread across his face and he dismounted his horse as soon as he reached the barn. He didn't bother to tether his horse, all he wanted was to feel Michaela in his arms and to hug his daughter.

Michaela's heart raced, she had so longed for him to be there! Actually, she had secretly counted on his return on Wednesday already and had grown concerned when Hannah had stopped asking for her pa. So she had made sure to tell the little girl every day a little about her father and had encouraged her to think about some things she wanted to do with him after he returned from the hunt. Finally, he was there and his joy at being home with them was clearly written on his face.

Sully had instantly noticed the lack of enthusiasm in his daughter's behavior. Questioningly, he directed his gaze at Michaela and since she didn't have an explanation either, she decided to solve the problem here and now. Picking up the little girl, she asked, "What's wrong, sweetheart; you can tell us, you know that, right?"

Hannah nodded slowly. It all depended on if her pa would leave again. Seeing the worry on her ma's face, she decided to give her a peck on the cheek first to make her smile again and so she did. Then she turned her head towards her pa and asked, "You stay home?"

Takinging his daughter from her mother's arms into his own and hugging her tightly, Sully's voice cracked when he replied, "Believe me, sweet girl, I only go away when I have to, and right now, I'm staying with you. When your ma's at the clinic we can go fishing again and we can look after the deer we saw the other day… how does that sound?"

For the moment, the little girl thought that this sounded good. She just had to wait and see if her pa kept his word and if not, she had her plan ready in her mind. So she nodded at her father and gave him a tentative smile. "Sound good."

After placing his daughter in the wagon, Sully turned his attention back to Michaela and recognized the concern still lingering in her eyes. Pulling her into his arms, he sighed contently; he was home. For a moment, he allowed himself to forget the world around him and just reveled in the feeling of her body. Closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of her hair, he suddenly noticed that there wasn't the usual soft fall of the coppery curtain but pins to keep the mass in a rather complicated hairstyle. Bending back he became aware that she wore one of her fancier dresses, too. Knowing that there had to be a special reason and seeing the worry in her eyes, he gently asked her, "What's wrong?"

Michaela avoided looking at him. Sully had just arrived, she couldn't burden him with her problems right away, now could she? Sensing her insecurity, Sully tenderly lifted her chin so he could lock their gazes again and smiled at her reassuringly. "Hey, it's me; tell me."

Relaxing as she remembered that she wasn't alone anymore, she took a deep breath. "Mr. Goldt will arrive on the morning coach. Mother didn't send my money yet. If I want to buy the boarding house, we have to find an interim solution because Hank has announced his interest in the building as well."

Sully made lazy circles with his hand on her back. "You have a plan?"

When Michaela nodded, he assured her, "Then there's nothing to worry about, it's gonna work, I know it."

Finally, he saw a carefree smile appearing on her beautiful face and her slightly mismatched eyes began to sparkle. Sully thought that a little kiss wouldn't hurt, and so he bent his head to claim her lips.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The stagecoach hadn't arrived yet when the little family pulled up in front of the clinic. Astonished, they saw Chris pacing alongside the place where the vehicle would pull in any minute. After Michaela had unlocked the clinic door and put her medical bag on her desk, the three of them joined the teacher. Sully, who was carrying Hannah, couldn't suppress a smile. "Ya lookin' like a tiger in a cage."

The teacher couldn't contain his excitement. "I got a telegram an hour ago, Amanda wired me from Denver, she's coming today, I'm so…"

The rest of his words were swallowed by the noise of the arriving stagecoach. Amanda couldn't wait to finally step out and see the place she would live in. She hoped that Chris had received her message and would welcome her. As soon as the stage coach came to a halt, she opened the door to hop down on the street. Standing on the ground, she didn't have any time to look around because she immediately found herself pressed against a broad chest. "Oh Chris," she murmered and held tight onto his back.

Sully smiled to himself, he knew the feeling of having the need to be close to the person you love.

Michaela, however, was stunned by the sight of the young woman. She couldn't be much older than twenty and her appearance was breathtaking. She was at least 5 feet 8 inches tall, her curly blond hair bounced down beyond her shoulders and her almost green eyes spakled in a face with very fine features. Sensing Amanda's strong personality, Michaela instantly felt old and negligible next to her. With this woman, Sully would climb Pike's Peak… Glancing at the man on her side she tried to gauge his reaction, but Sully had found Mr. Goldt among the other passengers and had directed his attention to the lawyer. Recognizing the doctor, the young man stepped to her and took his hat down. "It's nice to see you again, Dr. Quinn."

Michaela shook his outstreched hand and replied, "Thank you, Mr. Goldt. Please give me a moment to greet Miss Miller and then I would suggest that we go straight to the clinic."

The young man nodded in agreement.

Hearing her name, Amanda let go of her fiancé and turned curiousely around. Her eyes fell onto a petitefigure in a fancy dress with carefully pinned up hair who looked like her personal nightmare of a woman. Now she held her hand out towards her with a plastered smile on her face while Chris introduced, "This is Dr. Mike, honey, I'm so glad that you finally meet each other."

For the first time since she had met Chris, Amanda questioned his ability to judge people. Of course she greeted the other woman properly with a shake of her hand and a light nod of her head, but then her attention instantly shifted to the other man in the group who carried a little girl in his arms. The young woman's face lit up when she turned towards him. "You have to be Mr. Sully, the mountain man. I can't wait to get to know you and then for our expedition."

Sully had to smile at the eagerness of the young woman. "It's just Sully and yes, I'm the one who promised to take you to Pike's Peak."

Then he looked back to Michaela and seeing her clenched jaws, he knew that there was something wrong. Well, maybe she was nervous because of her upcoming talk with the lawyer with whom she left their group at this moment.

Hannah had watched the adults carefully. She had seen how the strange woman narrowed her eyes when she had looked at her ma. Uncle Chris seemed to be happy to see the new lady though but she could read nothing on her father's face. When the woman, who wanted to be called Amanda as she was telling her pa now, stroke over Hannah's hair and smiled openly as she said, "My, are you cute, you look just like your pa." the little girl decided to wait a little while before deciding if she liked this woman or not.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Since Sully hadn't had breakfast yet and Amanda said that she was starving, the three adults decided to go to Grace's Café together after Chris had made sure that Robert E. took care of Amanda's luggage. On their way, the young woman walked between the men, taking both their arms. Hannah, who was still being carried by her father, regarded the new lady carefully because she didn't like it when there was another woman besides her ma so close to her pa. Sensing the little girl's attention, Amanda turned her head and looked back at her. Again noticing the striking resemblance to Sully, she was intrigued by the obvious secret that the mountain man's life held.

After they had seated themselves at the table under the oak tree at the café, her and Chris sitting next to each other, facing Sully and his daughter, she couldn't contain her curiosity any longer. Holding her fiancé's hand tightly clasped in hers, the young woman intently studied the other man's face as she asked him with a hint of disappointment in her tone, "So you are married, huh?"

Sully frowned at her, he didn't want to talk about his life with a stranger and so he kept his reply short. "My wife died giving birth to our daughter."

Instantly, Amanda's expression changed. Although the relief in her voice couldn't be denied, she sounded sincere when she said, "I'm really sorry to hear that. My own mother died when I was born as well. I've also been raised only by my father."

Sully looked down on his daughter at his side and grinned at Hannah as he responded, "Well, we've been lucky; we've already found a new ma, right, sweet girl?"

When Hannah eagerly nodded, Amanda was astonished; the child was still very young, obviously this man wasn't one for wasting time. "So you're married again?"

"Nope." Sully didn't see any reason to discuss the issue.

"Engaged?" Amanda kept at it.

"Nope." Sully started to get slightly annoyed and as the woman seemed to be happy about his answers and even said, "Good!" he turned his questioning gaze at the teacher.

Chris didn't understand his fiancée's behaviour either. He had expected that she would be happy to finally be with him and although she didn't let go of his hand and lovingly squeezed it from time to time, it irritated him that her interest was focused on Sully, and her last remark made him ask a little frustrated, "What's that all about? Don't you want him to be happy? "

"Don't be silly, Chris, of course I do; but in my opinion a mountain man has to be untamed, that's what makes him so interesting."

Chris just shook his head as Sully dryly set her straight, "Sorry to disappoint ya, but I assure ya that I'm happily tamed."

Since it was obvious that he didn't want to discuss the subject further, Amanda decided to pick it up again later. She straightened in her chair and took in her surroundings. Inhaling a deep breath of the fresh air, she closed her eyes momentarily before she told her fiancé, "This is a nice piece of land, Chris. I'm sure I will like living here."

The teacher smiled back at his love and was relieved that Mandy seemed to be ready to direct her attention at him now. "I'm glad to hear that."

After they had placed their orders, Chris answered his fiancée's questions about the other people in the café while Sully and Hannah looked on in silence. Both their thoughts were with Michaela; Sully was wondering if she would manage to buy the boarding house and their little girl tried to wish hard enough to make her ma appear. Father and daughter had to wait until their meals were eaten though before the woman they longed for walked around the corner with Mr. Goldt at her side.

The moment Amanda took notice of Michaela she couldn't contain a short groan. When Chris looked at her in puzzlement and asked, "What's wrong?" she glanced at Sully and shortly replied, "Nothing."

She didn't want to annoy the mountain man because it became obvious to her, upon seeing how his face lit up when she appeared, that the lady doctor seemed to mean a lot to him. So she thought only for herself what she rather wanted to speak out loud, "Just look at her! Dressed in those fancy clothes, I bet she always takes care to never get dirty and she carries that bag just to show everyone: here comes a doctor!"

Michaela's brow was still creased in sorrow; she and the lawyer had solved her financial problem but she hated the fact that she had had to break her own promise to never use David's money for herself. Mr. Goldt, however, had convinced her that this was the only way to get the building for sure. Her original plan had been to take out a loan, after all she certainly was creditworthy; however, time was of the essence and so she would officially buy the boarding house from its current owner Charlotte Cooper right away and therefore prevent the bank from foreclosing on it. If it came to an auction, she couldn't be sure that she would place the highest bid because Hank had announced his interest in the building to extend his business as well. Michaela would now so to speak borrow the needed money from herself and take it from her bank account in Denver, but as soon as she had received her money from Boston, she would fill up the Denver account again. Adding to the discomfort she felt about this transaction was the fact that she had agreed to a letter the lawyer had prepared for her mother; she had to know that she had no right to keep the money from her daughter. However, Michaela knew that this meant trouble and that her mother would never just take that lying down; but she was determined to carry her plans through even if her family disapproved of her choice of life. Mr. Goldt had assured her that all transactions were strictly confidential and no one would know about them. This didn't make her feel better though, because _she_ knew what she had done.

Spotting Sully and Hannah at the table, Michaela put her unpleasant thoughts aside and directed her attention to her two favourite people. She closed the space between herself and them with a few last steps, gave her daughter a peck on the cheek and ruffled her hair a bit before she said, "I hope you don't mind me bringing Mr. Goldt, he needs a cup of coffee after having to put up with me."

Shaking hands with all the adults at the table, the lawyer replied, "You are exaggerating, Dr. Quinn, I wish all my clients were as reasonable as you are." With that, he sat down.

While Sully rose to pull out a chair for her, he asked Michaela with his eyes if her plan had worked and although he could tell that she wasn't happy over all, he was relieved when he saw her nodding. Hannah for her part barely waited until her mother sat before she climbed in her lap. Sighing contently, she leaned against her ma's chest and instantly felt better; now she was ready to listen to and observe those around her again.

For a moment, an awkward silence fell over the group. Though Sully wanted to know about the results of Michaela's meeting with the lawyer, he didn't want to ask her in front of the others. Mr. Goldt was busy drinking his coffee and Chris was wondering why Amanda was acting so strangely. He had known her for more than a year now and she had always been kind and caring and eager to meet other people. Although, when he thought about it carefully, it had always been men who were the new acquaintances. Maybe she wasn't used to meeting other women, so it would do her some good to be friends with Dr. Mike. He just had to make his fiancée see that.

Amanda stared openly at Michaela, who eventually noticed the gaze as she put her coffee cup down. Since she was used to odd reactions when people met her for the first time, the doctor wasn't intimidated one bit and looked back at the young woman. "Is there something you want to ask me, Miss Miller?"

Amanda was caught by surprise, she hadn't expected a direct confrontation right away and so she blurted the first thing out that came to her mind. "Yeah, why do you have to carry that bag with you when you are going to drink a cup of coffee?"

"Mandy!" Chris exclaimed and let go of her hand; he couldn't believe what he had heard, but Michaela assured him, "That's alright, Chris, really. I'm used to such kind of questions." Turning towards Amanda again, her tone was calm as she said, "First, it is a habit; the bag is like a part of me. Second, I have an appointment with Mrs. Berg who lives at the end of the street and I will go there after I'm done here. And third," Michaela raised an eyebrow and continued almost playfully, "One never knows what could happen and it doesn't hurt to be prepared."

Amanda began to feel embarrassed; maybe she had misjudged the doctor. She had expected that the fine lady would be at least a little offended, but it was obvious that a lot more was needed to discomfit her. Feeling the astonished blue eyes of the mountain man on her face, Amanda grew even more uneasy and she let her gaze drop on her clasped hands in her lap.

Sully was worried; he could very well imagine what Amanda was thinking, and he didn't like it. He had to climb a mountain with this woman and because of that it was essential that they got along and even more important, that they trusted each other. This, however, would be difficult for him if he knew that Amanda and Michaela couldn't stand each other.

The only one at the table who was satisfied with the situation was Hannah. The little girl could finally make up her mind; she didn't like the new lady.

There wasn't enough time for the situation to grow more uncomfortable because a commotion at the other end of the café captured everyone's attention. The voices from around it grew louder until a frantic scream was heard. "Dr. Mike!"

Hannah instantly slid from her ma's lap as Michaela grasped her bag and rose to hurry to the place where she was needed. Before she even reached the crowd that had already formed, an impatient male voice shouted, "Let the doc through, we need the doc!" while a woman continued to scream her son's name, "Tom, Tommy!"

People moved aside to make place for the doctor until she at last saw Thomas Deaver lying on the ground. "What happened?" was all she asked while she crouched down next to the boy's body. The frightened mother hastily explained, "We'd sat just there… Tom had some apple pie… suddenly he choked, you gotta help him, Dr. Mike!"

Michaela quickly examined the boy and upon noticing his blue face and stopped breathing, the doctor knew she had to act very fast and so she gave her commands while she lifted the child from the ground, "Clear the table, quickly! And take the children away!" Looking over her shoulder in Sully's direction, she shouted, "Sully, I need you here!"

When Sully reached her side, Michaela already had put the necessary things out of her bag and placed them next to the boy's head. She hurriedly splashed carbolic acid on her hands, the scalpel and Thomas Deaver's neck. As she poised her knife to cut straight across the boy's throat, a gasp from the crowd was heard and Dorothy, who was of course there as well, exclaimed, "You can't let her do that, she will kill him!" but an unnerved Mr. Deaver huffed at her, "Shut up and let her work!"

Murmuring, "It's called a tracheotomy." Michaela proceeded, seemingly cutting the boy's throat but in actuality, freeing his windpipe. The people around the place watched in awe while Michaela turned around to look for Sully. He was right behind her, so she didn't say a word but cut the feather off the string he wore around his neck, removed the top of the quill, blew through it and then put it into the hole of the windpipe she had just created. Her eyes never left the child's face as she then listened with her stethoscope to the boy's heartbeat. After a few moments that seemed to last an eternity, the blue in Thomas' cheeks faded and some seconds later, even his eyelids flattered open.

Soothingly stroking his brow, Michaela bent over the boy and smiled at him as he was able to focus again. "Welcome back, Thomas. I had to do a little operation and you can't speak right now. Please keep quiet, I promise that you will be all right soon." The boy nodded with a still frightened look on his face and so the doctor illustrated the situation for him. "It seems that a wasp wanted to eat your apple pie as well and got angry when you didn't want to share, that's why it stung you on your tongue."

Seeing the hint of a smile in Thomas' eyes, Michaela straightened and explained it further for the anxious parents. "The swelling of the tongue blocked the air passage and so I had to make the tracheotomy to help him breathe."

Mrs. Deaver had tears in her eyes when she asked, "And he really will be alright again, Dr. Mike?"

Packing her things back in her bag, Michaela replied, "He will be, I promise. We'll bring him into the clinic now and I'll watch him. If things improve the way they should, I can take out the feather tonight or at latest tomorrow morning and after a couple of days he should be his old self again."

Mr. Deaver's voice cracked as he took his son carefully into his arms, "Thank you, Dr. Mike, I'll never forget that you saved my boy's life."

"You are welcome, but I just did my job. We should go now…"

Turning to look for her family, Michaela's gaze fell first on Sully. "I'm sorry but I can't…"

Sully cut her off and assured, "That's alright, don't ya worry about us, we'll bring you some lunch later."

And Hannah, all a doctor's daughter, added with a nod, "We be fine. You go."

Michaela couldn't help but smile. Bending down to her little girl to give her a peck on the cheek, she whispered, "What would I do without you, sweetheart!"

Giggling, Hannah replied, "You be lost."

The crowd was slowly dissipating but people were still discussing what had just happened.

Amanda was deep in thoughts. She had been curious enough to follow the lady doctor when she had jumped up from the table and so she had witnessed Dr. Mike's actions. It seemed as if she actually had to change her opinion about that woman. She didn't like to admit it, but she hadn't expected her to act so quickly and sincerely. Alright, she seemed to be a good doctor, but as for learning what kind of woman she was, Amanda decided to just wait and see and of course test her a little.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Saturday and Sunday went by quickly. Michaela was at the clinic, watching the Deaver boy, and Sully had taken his daughter fishing as he had promised. The family took all their meals together though, partly at the café, partly in the examination room. Charlotte would move out on Tuesday because she wanted to have her things in the right order again before the upcoming Easter weekend. It turned out that her new home was right next to the wooden cabin that Chris had rented for his fiancée. Settling in had only taken of a few hours for Amanda since she didn't have very many clothes and dishes to put away. On Sunday afternoon, she began to feel bored. She was used to being busy all the time, running a household with seven adult men had been a challenge but she had managed just fine. Now there was nothing for her to do and she was looking for a change. Chris' foot wasn't well enough yet for accompanying her all the time she felt the need to walk, and so Amanda was standing alone on the bridge that led to the meadow when she saw Sully and his daughter appear. Her face lit up; she would convince the mountain man to help her to find her bearings. Since she knew how to handle men, she was sure she would succeed. And she actually did, although she had to make a compromise, Sully had insisted on taking Hannah with them.

On Monday morning, Michaela returned to her regular hours at the clinic and Chris began to prepare the school for the classes that would start after the Easter holidays. Although he had hoped that Amanda would help him, he understood her need to get to know the surroundings and to practise for climbing Pike's Peak.

Sully and Hannah had met Amanda at her cabin and were on their way to the creek now. They exchanged barely a word until they reached the small river. After they had found a log to sit on, Amanda couldn't be quiet any longer. "Are you always so taciturn?"

Sully considered what to answer. They would spend a lot of time together, so it was better to set her straight about his principles right away. "I don't wanna talk when it ain't necessary and until now, there ain't really been a reason to say anything."

Amanda regarded the man next to her, she could tell that he was one with a strong will but she had always loved challenges and she badly wanted to get to know him. "Maybe you are right, but we have to prepare our expedition. I thought we should learn about our climbing speeds so we can set a timetable because we have to be on the peak exactly on Easter Sunday."

Sully instantly replied, "We gotta be there earlier; Hannah's birthday is on Monday and I have to be back in time for her party."

Amanda wasn't pleased to hear that. "But the tradition is to be on top on Easter Sunday and spend the night there."

Sully, however, was adamant. "Then you'll have to change the tradition a little, I'm gonna take you to the peak on Saturday so we can be back in town on Monday morning."

The young woman was clever enough to not argue about that right now, but she was determined to get what she wanted. She just had to think of a plan.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Tuesday, it had been planned that Sully, Amanda and Hannah would spend the day together and teach the young woman some necessary things like how to make a fire only with things that could be found outside, the proper way to look for water and berries and how to built a simple shelter. Sully had insisted on doing so because they would be only two people on the expedition and if they were to be separated, both of them had to be able to survive by themselves. However, that morning, a soft but steady rain had set in and the adults had agreed that it would be better for Hannah to stay in town. Surprisingly, the little girl hadn't protested after she had learned that she would spend the time first with Uncle Chris at school and the rest of the day with her ma.

At school, the little girl had helped carry the slates and slate pencils into the classroom and then she had been allowed to leaf through her favorite book, the one with the colored pictures. Chris had to smile to himself when he heard her tell the tales with her own words, adding something every time she came to another picture; and watching her gave him an idea for the perfect birthday present.

In the evening, Chris, Michaela and Hannah waited at the homestead for Sully and Amanda to return; they had been due back almost two hours ago and since the little girl had been hungry, they had already eaten their supper. Suddenly, the door burst open and an excited Amanda and a smiling Sully entered the room. The young woman rushed to her fiancé to give him a firm kiss on his lips, and then she took a seat at the other side of the table. Still smiling, Sully greeted Michaela and his daughter with a nod and, "Evenin'!" before sitting down next to Amanda. He was satisfied, things had gone much better with Amanda than he had expected after their first encounter. The young woman had been eager to learn and had done her job very well.

Chris chuckled, "It seems you had a great time out there, Mandy."

"Oh, it was great, I could now get lost anywhere and would survive for sure; Sully is a really great teacher."

At this moment, Sully became aware that his two women hadn't said a word yet and asked them expectantly, "So, how's your day been?"

His daughter's answer was to climb on Chris' lap and pat his hand that lie on the table, "We good day."

As Michaela felt them turn to her, she frowned. "I've been busy at the clinic."

Silence hang over the table until Sully and Amanda resumed a conversation that had obviously been only interrupted by their arrival at the homestead. Seeing this and noticing the tired and disappointed look on Michaela's face, Chris remarked, "You work too hard, Dr. Mike, you should take a break."

Michaela only shrugged. "Of course that would be nice, but…"

The teacher suddenly had an idea and didn't let her finish, "Since the two of them," he pointed with his head in his fiancée's and Sully's direction, "have fun, we could have our own. Amanda brought a newspaper from Denver and in there, they announced a theatre performance, I think it was one of Shakespeare's plays. It takes place this Saturday; we could stay afterwards and spend the day in Denver." As he said this, he felt the little girl tense up. "Of course, you would come with us, honey." He smiled down at her.

Hearing that she wouldn't be left alone, Hannah instantly relaxed again and her curiosity was aroused. "What theatre?"

Chris contemplated how to explain it. "Hmm, let's see. When someone tells or reads you a story, you make yourself a picture in your head about how the people look like, how their voices sound and then you can see them when you close your eyes, right?"

When Hannah nodded, he continued, "If you see a play in the theatre, you watch people who are dressed like the figures in the story and they walk around and do all the things that are described. When I read a story to you, you can hear it, but in a theatre, you can watch the story. Do you understand?"

Hannah nodded wide-eyed. "Whole stowy?"

Chris smiled down at the astonished little face. Expressions like this one were what had motivated him to become a teacher. He loved the moment when he could see in a child's eyes that a seed of knowledge had been planted, one that he knew would only grow with time. "Yes, honey, the entire story."

Sully had stopped talking to Amanda when he heard the teacher make his suggestion. He saw the fleeting expression of desire in Michaela's eyes. He silently cursed to himself that such an idea had never occurred to him and he was suddenly aware that he had never made any effort to do something special for and with her; instead he had taught a stranger the things Michaela might want to know as well.

He didn't know yet that he would regret this only a few weeks later.

Meanwhile, the doctor was contemplating her reply to Chris' offer. Actually, she hadn't thought about such a kind of entertainment since she had left Boston. She suddenly felt the longing to be dressed up for an occasion such as a visit to a theatre, to sit in a dimmed lit room and listen to the voices of the actors… But her daughter's voice brought her back to reality. "We go, ma?"

Taking a deep breath, she declined the invitation. "I would love to go to the theatre again, but even if I found another doctor to stand in for me here in such short notice, I couldn't do that. But I thank you for the offer whole-heartedly, Chris, it was a nice idea." She gave him a quick smile and began to take the plates from the table.

But Hannah didn't let it go yet, she thought it might be exciting to go with her ma and her friend to a new place. "Why not?"

Michaela sighed. "It wouldn't be proper, sweetheart. I'm an unmarried woman and Uncle Chris is engaged, it wouldn't be proper."

The teacher, however, didn't want to give up so easily, he had been able to read her facial expression as well. "Come on, Dr. Mike, we can tell them this is my thank you for saving my foot since you refuse to take any money for your medical treatment."

Michaela glanced at Sully before she directed her response towards Chris. "People are looking at me more closely since they read the article. If I left town with you, there would be new gossip. I can't afford that. No one will consult a doctor who doesn't act the way people expect her to."

Amanda wouldn't believe what she heard, how could this woman be such a coward? "That's ridiculous; everyone has the right to a personal life."

Michaela said quietly, "I agree Miss Miller, but unfortunately in a little town like ours, you can't act as if you don't care about the other's opinions. If it hadn't been for your fiancé, who stood up for me in front of all of the townspeople and made them see that words don't become true only because they are written, I might still have only a handful of patients."  
Amanda muttered under her breath, "It's still ridiculous." before she directed her attention towards Sully again. "So, when will you show me how to build a cozy lean-to like yours?"

The crash of a breaking plate stopped him from answering that question. Michaela quickly stooped down to pick up the pieces; she didn't want the others to see the red blush of embarrassment on her cheeks or the hurt she felt. She had asked Sully a few times where he slept, but he had never told her, let alone shown her.

Everyone in the room had seen the color on her face though. Sully was puzzled; he couldn't imagine what was wrong. Hannah grew angry with the new lady, as she called her, and Chris was concerned. He remembered Dr. Mike's reaction when Sully had first suggested that he would make the trip with Amanda. Maybe it had been a mistake to agree, the last thing he wanted was for Dr. Mike to feel uncomfortably.

Only Amanda found the situation amusing; she had been right! Maybe Michaela was a good doctor, but God was she prude! With a mischief glint in her eyes, she decided to tease her a little. "Sully, we still have to talk about the things we will take with us. Do you have a bedroll? If you do, I wouldn't need mine."

Amanda quickly turned towards Michaela to gauge her reaction, but her gaze only met the other woman's back.

Sully still didn't know where this was leading and instantly replied, "Both of us will take his or her own bedroll…" but Amanda wasn't done yet. "I thought you knew the rule: mountaineers share a bedroll; when it's freezing at night, the best way to keep you warm is to share your companion's body heat."

Chris knew the expression on his fiancée's face: she wanted to have fun at other people's expense. This was one of her traits he didn't like and he especially didn't like it right now. "That's enough, Amanda!" He didn't even have to raise his voice; she knew he meant business when he used her full first name.

Rolling her eyes she conceded, "Alright, alright, I'm just kidding. We will sleep with a proper space between us."

Sully glared at the woman beside him. "That ain't funny!" He rose from his chair to step to Michaela; he needed to assure her that nothing would happen on this trip that she had to fear.

However, his daughter's voice stopped him dead in his tracks. At this moment, the little girl had decided it was time for her plan, though first she had to be absolutely sure and so she asked her father, "You go way?"

Sully turned to his daughter, startled by the serious tone in the little voice. "Yes I do, but not right away, only in a couple of days, sweet girl. You can come with us tomorrow, we will be in the woods all day, how does that sound?"

Hannah had stopped listening after she had heard the word "yes". She climbed down from her big friend's lap, positioned herself next to his chair, took one of his large hands in hers and looked up in the friendly face. She had practised the words many times, so they came out clearly. "Wanna be my pa?"

Amanda laughed out loud, "What a nice idea, it seems you got yourself a little admirer, Chris," but no one paid any attention to her.

Sully and Michaela, who had turned towards the group again, looked at their daughter, both too surprised to speak. Chris, who had come to get to know the little girl quite well because they had spent a lot of time together not only reading but talking as well, knew that this was one of the most difficult situations he had ever been in. He silently prayed that he would find the right words. "Honey, you already have a pa."

Hannah had anticipated such kind of answer, that's why she now scampered to her cot and lifted the pillow to take an item from underneath it. Michaela paled as she recognized Flying Sun's dream catcher and Sully let out a loud breath. He didn't know what to expect and tried to stop his daughter from continuing what ever she was up to. "Hannah…"

The little girl shot him a look she must have learned from her mother and turned to Chris as if her father hadn't said anything. "He other family too. Indian."

At this moment, Michaela's heart broke for the little girl; obviously she not only remembered what they had told her when Sully had left for the hunting parties but the kiss between Sully and the Indian woman as well, maybe even the time before when he had left them to follow the Indians into their winter camp. Taking a step in her daughter's direction, she gently started to speak, "Sweetheart…"

Hannah, however, directed her sad eyes at her mother and shook her head, "I want pa for home."

Amanda regarded the mountain man with new curiosity. She began to understand Dr. Mike's insecurities a little. If Sully had a wife somewhere else …, but hadn't he said that he wasn't married? Maybe the Indians had other traditions… She couldn't stop herself from asking, "You have an Indian wife, the one that tamed you?"

When Sully glared at her with knitted eyebrows, she murmured, suddenly embarrassed, "Was just a question."

Hannah squeezed Chris hand to gain his attention again and reiterated her question, "Wanna be my pa?"

The man stroked the little girl's long blond locks with his free hand and sighed, "Honey…"

Finally, Sully reacted. He went to his daughter and crouched down next to her. Tentatively, he touched her arm. "I'm sorry, sweet girl. I'm sorry I've left you so often but I really try to be with you as much as I can."

Sully was surprised when he saw no anger but only love for him in Hannah's eyes as she responded, "I know, potant go."

Sully nodded but actually, he began to doubt if climbing a peak was important enough to leave her again. On the other hand, he knew that he would have to leave from time to time and Hannah had to learn to accept that. "Right, sweet girl, sometimes I will have to leave you even when I'd rather stay with you."  
Hannah laid her little hand on her father's shoulder and assured him, "I know. You pa in woods, Uncle Kiss pa in home."

Sully suddenly felt a huge lump in his throat that made it difficult to breathe not to mention to speak when he realized that his daughter had decided to give up on him.

Sensing, that the men were at a loss for what to do, Michaela knew that it was her turn now. She had waited silently because she knew that this was Sully's battle but it became obvious that he needed help.

"Sweetheart…"  
Hannah's eyes flew to her mother; she knew that she understood her. "I two mas, one in heaven and you."

Of course Michaela understood the child's logic, so she nodded and stooping down, she beckoned her into her arms. "Sweetheart, come here, please."  
The little girl immediately complied. After Michaela had straightened with her daughter in her arms, she tried to find the right words to get through to her. "You know that I'm only your ma because your other ma can't be there for you, do you?"

The child nodded and replied, "Pa way a lot, too."

Michaela tightened her embrace a little. "Well, you might be right, but he will always come back to you." When Hannah didn't react yet, the mother knew that she needed more reassurance.

"Sweetheart, you know that I would have to leave you if your other ma came back, right?" When she saw the shock on the little face, she hastily assured, "But that will never happen, I promise." She continued only after she felt her girl's body relax again. "It would be the same for your pa though, if you had another one here at home, he couldn't come back to you anytime he wanted because this wouldn't be his home anymore. And you still want him to come back, don't you?"

Hannah nodded tentatively, but there was still one question open, "Why he two family and I no two pas?"

Michaela momentarily closed her eyes. How could she answer such a question when she didn't know Sully's intentions herself? The situation for the little family would become more complicated after Easter when school started. Colleen wouldn't be able to help in the mornings, Charlotte never knew when she was available and the mercantile was out of the question since Dorothy Jennings lived there. And Chris, who had helped her out so often lately would start his job. Normally, the father should be the person she could rely on, but she couldn't be sure if he would be there because she knew that, whenever the Indians called for him, he would go and this brought her back to Hannah's question. At last, she managed to say, "For your father this is a difficult situation. He owes his Indian family his life and that's why he owes them now his help whenever it is needed. Do you understand that?" Although the little girl tentatively nodded, Michaela could tell that she wasn't convinced yet, so she added, "But you have heard him, he will be with you as often as he can and I'm absolutely sure that Uncle Chris will be happy if he may be your friend and a good friend is almost as important as a pa."

The little girl turned towards Chris. "You stay fiend? Read and talk?"

The young man rose and stepped towards mother and daughter. Taking Hannah's little hands in his, he squeezed them gently, "I feel honored that I may be your friend and it will be my pleasure to be with you whenever I can."

A tentative smile crept into the blue eyes. "Thank, Uncle Kiss." Then Hannah turned back to look at her mother, the eyes filled with tears now. "I luv you, ma." As Michaela felt the little arms around her neck and the moisture on her cheeks she couldn't hold back her own tears any longer, "And I love you, Sweetheart." She swallowed hard in an effort to gain her composure again. "How about, we go to the outhouse now and then I'll tuck you in and you may make a wish for your bedtime story?"

Hannah suddenly felt exhausted and tired. Leaning her head against her mother's chest, she murmured, "Uncle Kiss stowy, please."

Michaela glanced at him and he instantly assured, "It will be my pleasure."

After mother and daughter had left the room, an awkward silence fell over the room. Chris knew he had to have a serious conversation with Amanda who still sat at the table and couldn't understand how grown up people made such a fuss because of a little girl. Sully stood forlornly in the middle of the room; he had the feeling that he was a stranger in his own house. Actually, he began to see the relationship between Michaela, his daughter and the teacher with new eyes, their mutual understanding was a little too good for his taste and he didn't like that. He really needed to talk to Michaela and followed his two women outside.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

On his way to the door, Sully was wondering how things could have gone so downhill within just a day. When he had left in the morning, everything had seemed to be alright. Michaela had understood that he couldn't start the expedition without any preparation, and getting to know the person he had to lead up to the peak was one of the tasks that belonged to the process. And Hannah had understood that she had to stay in town because of the rain. Why was his daughter acting this way without even a warning? Knowing that Michaela always reassured the little girl of his love it could only be something that the teacher had said or done; but on the other hand, why would he do something like that?

Still puzzled, Sully reached the door and before he closed it behind him, he looked back at the people at his table. He could tell that Chris was angry with his fiancée while Amanda looked in his direction and gave him a wink. Suddenly, he saw what Michaela must have seen as well: a young woman with shining eyes who had obviousely had a great day… a day with him. But Michaela couldn't be jealous, could she? He had told her that she was the one who held his heart… Why had she been hurt when Amanda talked about his lean-to? She could impossibly think that this meant anything; they had been there because he needed some things for his lesson…

A couple minutes later, Sully stood in the middle of the yard, waiting for Michaela and Hannah to emerge from the outhouse. Still contemplating how to approach them, he heard their soft voices and wondered what they were talking about until at last, Michaela appeared with Hannah in her arms. When she saw him standing there, she momentarily halted in her tracks, only to resume her movement more determinedly a second later. In bewilderment, Sully stepped into her way and laid his hand on her arm. "We gotta talk, Michaela."

He was quite disconcerted though when she flinched from his touch and refused to look at him. Her voice was low and strained as she replied, "Not now Sully, Hannah is tired and I don't think she should listen to our … conversation."

Although he was startled by her shortness, Sully remained calm; he was prepared to go to any length to show Michaela that he was ready to sort out their problems even if he wasn't quite sure yet what they were, but first, he would take care of his daughter.

"Come here, sweet girl." When her father reached for her, Hannah went into his arms but she avoided his gaze. She felt so tired; her plan hadn't worked and her pa would leave again; all she wanted right now was to sleep. Sully sensed that words would be lost at the moment; nevertheless, he bent back, directed the little face with his fingertips so that he could look into his daughter's eyes and told her, "I'm your father and I love you, sweet girl, and that ain't gonna change, never."

Receiving only a hesitant nod in return, he knew that he would have to take care of his child the next day, for now he just gave her a peck on the cheek and carried her towards the porch. Putting her down on the top step he told her, "Go on, we'll be right behind you."

Michaela instantly protested, "You can't just send her in, she needs..."

Recognizing his mistake, Sully immediately lifted Hannah again to take her inside.

Chris and Amanda still sat in the same spot and it seemed as if they hadn't said a word since they had been left alone. The young woman started to get frustrated; she didn't feel as if she was in any way to blame. Greeting the mountain man's return with a smile, she rolled her eyes at him. "We should have stayed in the woods, Sully, all the fun is ruined now."

Sully, however, didn't respond to her remark instead he carefully sat his daughter down on her cot. "Here, your ma will help ya undress."

While Michaela got the little girl ready for bed, Sully took a few steps away from them. Watching their interaction, he wondered again what had gone wrong; he had been a part of that closeness once but right now he felt left out.

It didn't even take one word of the bedtime story, as soon as Hannah's head hit the pillow, she was asleep. Seeing this, the four adults silently left the room; while the engaged couple wanted to head towards town, Michaela and Sully both knew that it would be better to talk outside since they didn't want to disturb the little one.

After a short, "Good night, Miss Miller," Michaela assured Chris that his help was appreciated but not needed the next morning because her first appointment was only at ten and Colleen had volunteered to be there. Amanda, however, wanted to prolong the goodbye since she could read on her fiancé's face that there would be an unpleasant discussion on their way home. Stepping closer to Sully, she held her hand out for him so he had to take it. Laying her free hand of their already united ones she told him, "I want to thank you for a wonderful day Sully. I had so much fun; I'm looking forward to resume that tomorrow."

Sully wriggled his hand out of hers; he grew uncomfortable not just because he could tell that this time not only had Michaela tensed up but the teacher as well; he didn't like the insinuation that shone through Amanda's tone either, so he said, "Just a little reminder, I ain't taking you places and showing you things to have fun. I've made a promise to your fiancé, that's all."

Before Amanda could respond, Chris dragged her away, telling her, "That's enough, let's go."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Still standing in the yard a few minutes later, Michaela and Sully hadn't started the inevitable conversation yet. Michaela didn't even know where to begin and Sully feared that he would say something wrong. As the silence grew more and more uncomfortable though, he decided that talking about Hannah would be the most appropriate first step but before he began he suggested, "C'mon, let's sit down."

After they were seated on their step of the porch stairs, Sully noticed the space Michaela had made sure was between them and he knew that this was more than the spatial distance. He didn't dare to take her hand or lay his arm around her shoulder although he desperately needed to touch and to feel her.

Finally, he thought he might have found the right words. "I could use your help 'cause I don't understand why my daughter thinks she needs another father. I keep telling her that I love her…"

Michaela had decided that this time, she wouldn't hold back; she had come to the conclusion that the whole situation was partly her fault because she always had found an excuse for Sully's behaviour and explained it to Hannah, and so she cut him off. "You tell her the words, Sully, and that's all what they've started to be for Hannah, just words."

He really tried to understand, but he didn't. "Whatcha talkin' about?"

Taking a deep breath, Michaela knew it was now or never. "You _tell_ her you love her but you _show_ her that there are things that are more important to you than she is."

"Ya mean when I was out huntin'?"

Michaela nodded. "For instance."

"Well, the Cheyenne children never complain when their fathers have to leave for several days and I thought that Hannah had understood that as well, we told her why it was important." Sully still didn't see the point.

Lightly shaking her head, Michaela responded, "Your daughter isn't Cheyenne, she doesn't live in a village where everyone is a part of a big family; she doesn't know that going hunting means when her father comes back the hunger will be gone for a while. All she knows is that her pa leaves because there is something more important than her."

Silence fell between them while Sully contemplated her words and Michaela hoped he would understand. After a few long moments, he said quietly, "Maybe you are right, but I can't change the things from the past…"

As his voice trailed off and he didn't continue, Michaela hoped that he would consider her next words as well. "You could change your plans for Easter."

With a quick movement of his head, Sully turned towards her. "I can't do that; I gave them my word!" Saying this, is tone rose a notch.

And so did hers when she exclaimed, "What about the words you gave to your child? I hope you know that the damage will be irreparable if you don't return in time for her birthday!"

Sully tried to lower his voice and he sounded sincere when he replied, "I will be, I promise."

Hearing his last words, Michaela lost her temper and jumped up from the step. "You promise? How can you say that! Since you are such an expert for living outside you know perfectly well that unexpected things could happen that might prevent you from coming back in time!"

Slowly straightening as well, Sully watched her thoughtfully; he could tell that there was something else. "This ain't only about Hannah; you don't wanna see me leaving either, right?"

Michaela didn't answer; she knew if she agreed, she might regret it later. She also knew she would never forgive herself if he stayed only because she had asked him to and that he would never forget it either.

Sully made a tentative step in her direction and took her hand. She didn't pull it away this time although she still flinched at his touch. His voice was tender when he said, "You know that I love ya, don't ya?"

Looking up into his eyes, she quietly and ambiguously replied, "You told me so."

Growing impatient, Sully let go of her hand. "What's that supposed to mean? You should know by now…"

"Should I? How? Because you keep telling me?" Her temper rose again as well.

Taking a deep breath, Sully tried to compose himself, being angry wouldn't help right now although he became it. However, at this moment he remembered what he had thought earlier, when he had seen the teacher's fiancée sitting at his table… Tentatively, he lifted his hand to touch her cheek, "If this is about Amanda…," Michaela instinctively took one step back, away from him. "… she is just good company and eager to learn, that's all."

She didn't react to his statement and he couldn't and didn't want to imagine what she was thinking. "Michaela?"

Michaela contemplated how much of her fears she should show him. If she didn't do it now… well, she had to face it some day anyway and so she worked up the courage to tell him, "You always seem awfully close to your companions and friends."

Sully let out a long breath, he knew she'd made her last remark because of Flying Sun but he had to concentrate on Amanda right now because they would leave together in only a couple of days. "Michaela, I have to teach and show Amanda things that will be essential for our trip, you gotta understand that this is all what I will do with her."

Michaela looked at him; obviously, he didn't take her seriously. "Showing her your lean-to is essential? I have asked you a few times where you spend your nights, but you never told me, let alone showed me!"

He could sense from her tone that she was upset although she had kept her voice low. He stared at her, unbelievingly. "You're making a fuss because she saw my lean-to? You can't be serious…"

Her voice was quiet when she interrupted him and gave him another look into her soul as she confessed, "I wanted to be able to picture you at night; what you see just before you close your eyes and what you hear when you wake up…" She trailed off and didn't dare to look at him.

Sully swallowed hard, why hadn't he recognized that she wanted to know more about him when she had asked? He had thought nothing of it; where he slept was just a place… Reaching for her hands again, he said softly, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how important this was for you; I'll take you there as soon as I can. I can cut some things shorter tomorrow, we will just practice the things I showed her today so we can be back earlier than I planned and I'll take you out there. How does that sound?"

For Michaela it felt as if all the words she had just told him had fallen on deaf ears. Was it too much to ask that he would forget Amanda at least for now? What on earth had she been thinking when she had thought he might be the one who would understand her? Obviously, he felt closer to that other woman that he hadn't even known a week yet than he did to her. As she sensed that she would lose her composure any moment, she took her hands out of his, turned away from him and murmured, "There's no need for that, and now if you'll excuse me, I have to look after Hannah."

But Sully didn't let her go so easily. Gripping her arm he tried to reassure her, "Michaela, please, don't you know by now that you are the one I love?"

Hearing this statement, she decided to let go of her reserve and gave him a look into her heart. Her eyes showed all her vulnerability when she searched for his gaze. "You love me? Then tell me, Sully, how would _you_ feel if I had said yes to Chris' offer and went with him to Denver? How would you feel knowing I'd spent the night with him in the same room, maybe even the same bed, warmed by his arms?"  
Instantly, his temper rose again and so did his voice. "That was just a joke to provoke you and it seems that it worked. You know I'd never… You can't compare that, that ain't the same!"

"You are right, Sully, it's not the same because _I_ would never kiss my friends…" Suddenly feeling embarrassed because she had gone so far, maybe too far, Michaela stopped. Not waiting for Sully's response, she turned away and entered the homestead, leaving him alone outside, stunned.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The other couple walked in silence on its way home. Impatience shone through her tone when Amanda finally spoke, "Aw, come on Chris, you know that I was just joking when I talked to Sully, and I really don't understand why you all make such a fuss because of that girl. She shouldn't get everything she wants just because she is a cute little girl; she will soon be a spoiled little girl. When I was her age…"

"When you were her age, you had six doting brothers and a father who read every wish from your eyes."

Amanda wasn't used to hearing anger in her fiancé's voice. For a moment, she was insecure and she glanced at him but decided to give her opinion, no matter what. "Sully was relaxed all day but as we entered his home and he saw this woman, he got all tensed up as if he feared he might say something wrong any minute. If you ask me, he deserves better and obviously, he knows that, they aren't even engaged."

Chris stopped walking and grasped Amanda's arm so she had to face him. His tone didn't show any emotion as he reminded her, "But you are."

Startled, she hastily tried to assure him, "Oh Chris, it's not what you think. I just can't stand the thought that such an interesting man loses his fire because of a woman like Dr. Mike who has no idea how to treat him right."

But Chris knew better. "It's not about Dr. Mike and we both know that. You just can't live without gaining the attention of a man who peeks your interest, I've seen that before," he reminded her.

As she looked down to avoid his gaze, he added, "I'm really starting to regret that I took Sully up on his offer to lead you to the peak. I don't want you to cause any trouble for he and Dr. Mike, do you understand me?"

Amanda had never been one for taking advice like this. "Come on Chris, if everything was alright between them, I couldn't do any damage, and you know that."

The teacher shook his head and resumed walking as he quietly told her, "You should consider that you might do the damage to us, honey."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

On his way to his lean-to, Sully's bewilderment had turned into anger. What else should he do so that Michaela would finally trust him? Nothing had ever happened with Amanda and it never would; he was sure of that because there was only one woman who held his interest. Why didn't she believe him? He kept telling her…Suddenly, her words echoed through his head, _"You tell her the words, Sully, and that's all that they have started to be for Hannah, just words." _Maybe it was the same for Michaela… _"I wanted to be able to picture you at night; what you see when you close your eyes and what you hear when you wake up…"_ Obviously, he hadn't listen carefully enough when she had asked him to show her his lean-to, he'd just thought it wasn't important. Well, he had been proved wrong now… Would he ever learn to do the right thing when it came to Michaela? … And she had told him that the things he said didn't mean the same as the things he showed her. Maybe it was time to correct that mistake. Smiling to himself, he already felt new energy coursing through his mind because he knew how to do that.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

In the morning, when the sun wasn't even up yet, Sully was on his way into town. He first rode to Charlotte Coopers new home because he would need Colleen's help with his plan. In Amanda's cabin next to the Cooper's house, he saw that a light was already burning and so he first knocked there. The young woman was pleased to see him, "You are up quite early, Sully. Well, more time for us to spend together. Come in, I'll make us some breakfast."

Sully, however, met her expectant smile with complete indifference. "I'm only here to cancel our plans for the morning. Maybe we go to the creek in the afternoon, I'm not sure yet."

Amanda didn't hold back with her disappointment, "But you said we would spend all day together, you can't just come and tell me that you changed the plan!"

"Well, I did, that's all I have to say. You can practice how to make a fire by yourself, you don't need me for that. I gotta go." Sully didn't care that Amanda abruptly turned and went off to sulk in her room; Michaela was the one who was important right now and he had to hurry to get back to the homestaed before Michaela left.

Half an hour later in the yard, he got the wagon ready for Colleen who would take Hannah into town. He didn't listen to Michaela's protests and this time, he had his daughter on his side after he had told her that he needed to do something to make her ma happy. Another thirty minutes later, Sully pulled his horse in to a halt as they reached their first destination, he dismounted and helped Michaela down as well.

She, however, still didn't like the change of her plans. "Sully, if you want to show me your lean-to right now, you don't need to do that. I have to go back into town; I need to do some paperwork at the clinic…"

It was as if her voice didn't exist for Sully. He held her left hand tightly clasped in his right one and carefully guided her on a for her eyes invisible way up a hill. After a few minutes of walking and gaining no respond from Sully, Michaela saw that her objections were fruitless and just followed him.

When they reached the crest of the mountain, Sully carefully led her in front of a huge rock. He still held her hand when he silently looked around. Michaela was stunned; she had never before seen a sight like this. Her gaze met a vista of unmatched beauty; the sky was cloudless and blue and seemed to be unending as it hovered above the Rockies that lay at her feet.

Her tone showed her awe as she told him, "Oh Sully, it's beautiful."

"This is where I come when I lose my way and gotta find it again."

Touched, Michaela looked at him.

Quietly, Sully added, "I've never shown this place to anyone, not even Abigail."

After a few moments, he turned his head to look into her eyes and he could see that she had understood. Each felt that there was hope for a connection again, a connection at the most important place – their hearts.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

It was late morning when Michaela and Sully pulled their horses into a halt in front of the clinic. Since Sully was riding bareback, he easily slid down from his horse and was at Michaela's side in time to help her down as well. As soon as she stood on the ground next to him, he took her hand and lifted it to place a tender kiss on her knuckles. Peering into her eyes he said with sincerity to make her feel the truth in his words, "I love ya."

Michaela shyly smiled back at him, but before she could respond, they heard Hank's deep, slurred voice from across the street. "I could spare ya the trek up the mountain, Sully. Your new flame is so enthusiastic about ya, I'm sure one of my rooms would do it as well." The barkeeper was pleased that he instantly had the couple's attention. He smirked when he noticed that Michaela tried to take her hand out of Sully's but he grasped it only tighter as he incredulously asked, "Ya two had a talk?"

Hank nodded slowly and after a long draw from his cigar he replied, "Yeah, the lady was kind of bored the other day and she couldn't help but notice an interesting character like me." His smirk broadened. "Seems to me that the teacher has no idea how to entertain her, but ya obviously took care of that."

Michaela had known that it would be only a question of time until the gossip would spread, but since she knew that Sully didn't care about what other people said, she hadn't broached that subject.

Sensing Michaela's embarrassment, Sully thought it would be the best to take her out of Hank's earshot; he would have a word with the barkeeper later. Hank, however, wasn't done yet. "Must be a pretty fine reason to take her up there when ya even risk missing your girl's birthday."

Astonished, Michaela looked up to watch Hank's face. She knew how much he enjoyed provoking her, but his last statement showed a part of him that was extremely rarely seen. For a split second, their gazes met and she recognized his concern for her daughter. As much as she appreciated that, she knew at the same instant that Hank had shattered her tiny hope that Sully would have second thoughts about the trip, and the barkeeper knew that as well. The mountain man's pride would never allow him to rethink his plan, not after the whole town had made it clear he should do so.

Sully was furious, with barely hidden anger in his voice he told the saloon owner, "That's none of your business."

The other man knew though that he had hit his target, so he just lifted his hand, bowed his head slightly and let himself fall against the back of his chair.

Once the couple was inside the clinic, Michaela made sure she was behind her desk before Sully had even closed the door. She was already sitting in her chair and looking down at her clasped hands on top of the desk as he moved to stand at her side, tentatively laying his hand on her shoulder. "Michaela…"

She wasn't able to look at him and Sully hastily contemplated what to do. It would be his priority during the climbing to return in time for his daughter's party and for that he decided to slightly change the timetable. "Michaela, I'll be back on Monday, in fact it might be even Sunday."

With that he made her look up at him. "How can you…"

He cut her off. "We'll leave tomorrow morning, a day earlier than planned. I'll go and inform Amanda now, then I have to ride out to the reservation and tell Cloud Dancing and after that I'll take care of the animals and the barn so I can see you for supper, alright?"

With a nod, Michaela looked down on her hands again and asked, "I thought she had to be on top…"

Sully didn't let her finish. "She don't have a choice, we'll do it my way or not at all. I have to think of Hannah."

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At the schoolhouse, Amanda was still sulking. Not only that Sully had turned her down this morning but Chris hadn't supported her when she had complained about Sully's lack of enthusiasm to practice with her. To make matters worse, he had barely a word spoken since then and Amanda jumped when she suddenly heard his voice.

Chris had finished sorting the books that had arrived yesterday and was now watching his fiancée as she sat on one of the pupils' desks and stared out of the window. "I had hoped you would be as happy as I was that we could finally be together. I was looking forward to spend every minute I could with you but at the moment it seems to me that all you are interested in is climbing the mountain and Sully, and I sure know what it means when your interest is focused."

Startled, Amanda quickly turned her head towards him and as she recognized that this wasn't just a soft remark reminding her that her behavior might not be appropriate, she hastily slipped down from the table and stepped towards him. Taking his hands into hers, she craned her neck to look into his eyes when she assured him, "It's not what you think, Chris, really."

This time though, he didn't just give in and embraced her as he usually did. Seeing the hurt in his eyes, Amanda knew she had to explain herself. "Chris, you know that I've been looking forward to climbing this mountain as soon as I came down from the last one, and being here, knowing the climb will start so soon, just makes me stop thinking about anything else. I'm sorry I made you feel left out, I apologize."

Purposefully she hadn't mentioned Sully's name yet, hoping he would let go of that issue, but of course he didn't. "That part I do understand, since I experienced it together with you last year; I know how you feel up on a peak."

He waited to see if she would talk about Sully of her own accord and decided to give her some time. He remembered vividly that she had acted almost the same way after he had helped her out of the trouble in that store. Before he really knew it, she had pried all sorts of information out of him, starting with his name and ending with his address. She had insisted on thanking him for what he had done for her and she had invited him to her home instantly. There he had been astonished by the family he met. The Miller's had a farm out of town and since all six sons and the father worked there, it was impressive in size and state. Although the three older brothers were already married and lived with their wives at the ranch, it had looked as if Amanda ran the household all by herself; she even took care of the bookkeeping. After his first visit, Amanda had made sure that they stayed in contact, sometimes she just came to his home to say hello or she brought a cake she had baked herself, she even occasionally accompanied him on school outings, and without noticing how it had happened, he had come to appreciate her steady presence and then even felt that he had fallen in love. Now, he couldn't imagine his life without her. Watching her around Sully had made him waver in his trust though. If he had known how Amanda would act, he would have never agreed to take Sully's offer; not just because he was worried about his engagement but everyone with eyes could see that Sully and Dr. Mike loved each other. He could also tell that they were still in the beginning of their relationship and that they obviously had problems. He didn't want to cause them added ones.

Amanda was still silent; Chris, however, knew they had to talk and so he asked her bluntly, "What do you want from Sully?"

Amanda decided she had to be honest since she didn't want to lose her fiancé, not for anything in the world. She had fallen in love with his handsome features and caring nature almost instantly and she had done everything to convince him that she was the woman he wanted. Actually, she looked forward to being a teacher's wife, helping him out wherever she could; and since she knew that money wasn't an issue when it came to the school, she even had some ideas she wanted to tell him. But knowing that she would climb a mountain within the next few days and learning about her guide, had made her losing sight of her fiancé's needs. And this mountain man sure had something…

Taking a deep breath, she admitted at last, "He is such an interesting character and I want him to be my friend."

Hearing that, Chris sighed and eventually took her in his arms. "You can't people force to be your friend, honey, even less so if you don't care about their feelings."

Feeling safe again, Amanda murmured against his chest, "Oh come on Chris, you can't be serious if you think that this woman is any good for him."

Chris had only time to shake his head, but before he could reply a knock at the door startled the couple out of the embrace. Stepping into the room, Sully said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, but the plan has changed, we'll leave tomorrow morning."

It was as if the previous talk with Chris had instantly left her mind. Amanda rushed towards Sully and throwing her arms around his neck she exclaimed, "That's so great, an extra day…"

Sully instantly removed her hands from around him, "I'd thank you to keep your distance from me and we ain't going earlier to have more time. I only wanna make sure we'll be back early, maybe even on Sunday morning, so I won't miss my daughter's birthday."

Amanda pouted, "Oh, come on, Sully! She is only two, she doesn't even know which day of the week we have…"

Growing angry, Sully cut her off, "But I do."

Chris still stood at the same spot where his fiancée had left him; he watched the scene in front of him and frowned. If he had known how things would turn out... He wished, Amanda would stop being selfish and sensing the mountain man's uneasiness he said, "Mandy, you should be thankful that Sully is taking you up the mountain at all…"

It looked as if Amanda wanted to stomp her feet as she turned back to him and stubbornly insisted, "I've already told Sully that it's important to me to be on the peak on Sunday night! Why can't you both just accept that?"

Sully had enough. "And I've already told ya, but you never seem to listen when it don't suit to ya: I'm taking ya up that mountain because your fiancé saved my daughter's life, so I'm doing him a favor, not you. And I'm sure that Chris don't want me to miss Hannah's birthday, am I right?"

Questioningly, he directed his gaze at the teacher who immediately responded, "Absolutely, Sully." And turning to his fiancée Chris added, "Actually, I think we should cancel the whole expedition." Knowing what Mandy wanted to say, he cut her off, "But that's up to Sully, of course."

Sully didn't like this turn of events, he didn't want it to be his decision to do the expedition with that woman. If Michaela knew he had had a choice she would sure come to the wrong conclusion and he didn't want to add more fuel into the already burning fire that might separate them for good. Since he was sure, Amanda would tell her that it had depended on him if they went or not, he attempted to make it clear, "I'm sorry but it's not in my hands anymore; I've never gone back on my word and I won't start doing it now."

Chris regarded the other man thoughtfully; he could tell that there was something else but he decided to let it go.

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At noon, Sully arrived at the reservation. After Michaela had told him that it was difficult for Hannah to see why he had to leave for hunting, an idea had occurred to him and he wanted to ask his brother for his help.

Cloud Dancing was astonished when he saw his friend. "Haho, Sully. I did not expect you to be here before tomorrow."

Sully nodded. "That was the plan but I'm here to tell you that I changed it. I wanna make sure that I'm back in time for Hannah's birthday."

The medicine man regarded his brother carefully and then concluded, "You have trouble with Dr. Mike."

Sully looked down and shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Yeah, and with my daughter, too." Looking up at the Indian again he added, "Michaela says that Hannah can't understand why I'm away so often, she thinks I don't love her." The memory that his daughter had asked a stranger to be her pa still weighed heavily on his heart. His voice cracked slightly when he continued, "I need your help, Cloud Dancing. I thought Hannah could be here when we leave the next time and maybe stay until we return. So she can see how important the hunt is for you."

The medicine man approved, "That is a good idea, my friend. Will you bring Dr. Mike, too?"

Sully averted his eyes again. "I'll ask her…"

The Indian smiled. "She is angry with you?"

"Yeah, but after this trip, I'll make sure that I'm around her as often as I can. I have to show her that I'm serious about her…"

The expression on the medicine man's face turned into a grin. "Being close is a good idea, my friend." With a light tap on his brother's back he added, "Women, huh? But this one is worth the effort."

From a distance, Flying Sun had strained her ears to understand what the men were talking about. She had discerned the words "trouble", "Dr. Mike" and "need to be close" and concluded that there might be a chance for her and Sully again.

It wouldn't take much more than a week when she would take it.

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On Thursday morning, Sully said goodbye to his daughter in the yard of the homestead. He had brought Colleen out there early in the morning to watch Hannah because Michaela and Chris would accompany the two mountaineers to the base of the peak and then take their horses back into town after they had started the climbing.

Hannah stood next to Michaela, her little body pressed against her mother's leg. She clutched her bunny against her chest and looked wide-eyed up at her pa. Sully's heart ached seeing his little girl so apprehensive about his leaving. He crouched down next to her and stroked her blond locks. "I'm sorry, sweet girl, but I've made a promise and I gotta keep that. But I promise you I'll be back…"

A soft but firm, "Sully…" from Michaela stopped him from saying the wrong words and so he hastily searched for new ones until he at last finished, "As soon as I can, alright?"

Hannah didn't budge, she knew that her pa had to leave but she still didn't like it. The only thing that brightened her mood was that Uncle Chris would stay; he had already told her that he looked forward to reading her a new book. The little girl only moved when she suddenly felt her father's faithful companion at her side. Still with the bunny clasped firmly in one hand, she bent down to hug the wolf.

Sully wished it would be his embrace but it looked as if he had to wait until his return to mend his relationship with his daughter. However, seeing her with Wolf gave him an idea and when he finally had his daughter's attention he suggested, "How about you watch him for me while I'm away? Climbing might be a little too difficult for him."

He raised his eyebrows expectantly to gauge his daughter's reaction and his heart swelled with joy when he received the first smile in days from her. The little girl didn't dare to believe it yet and so she asked in a small voice, "Wof stay?" but when her pa nodded, she let go of her reserve and threw her little arms around Sully's neck. "Thank, pa!"

Sully's voice cracked with emotion when he replied, "You're welcome, sweet girl, but you know, you have to watch him closely." Feeling his daughter's eager nod against his neck, Sully closed his eyes and reveled in the moment.

Chris, Michaela and Colleen were moved as well while watching the scene; only Amanda didn't like that the wolf wouldn't be with them. She had hoped to show Sully how good she could handle the animal and this way to gain his attention. She had decided to be the perfect girl on the trip just as she had been the day when they had practiced together. This way, she was sure that after the trip, Sully just had to be interested in her.

Almost an hour later, they reached the place where the climbing would start. After they all had dismounted their horses, the two couples went away from each other a short distance to say their goodbyes in private.

Amanda and Chris stood in a tight embrace. The young woman's excitement knew no bounds; she murmured against her fiancé's chest, "Oh Chris, this is so great! Thank you for making it possible and after I'm back, we'll start our life together, alright?"

Chris couldn't help but wonder if she really was serious about that, but he nodded nevertheless, "We will, honey, we will."

Michaela had gone back to her horse and nervously fidgeted with the reins in her hand. Sully stood in front of her and wished he knew what to say. Finally he managed out, "I'll see you soon, Michaela." After receiving only a nod in reply, he added, "Take good care of everybody."

Surprised, Michaela looked at him; why did he say that? He knew that she would, so she just answered, "I will."

Sully took the opportunity to peer into her eyes. Instantly recognizing the hurt and sadness and fear, he closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. Feeling her tension, he held her even closer and whispered, "I love ya."

He couldn't see if these words had any effect because Amanda was calling for him, "Come on, Sully, let's get started!"

Sighing, he pressed a kiss on top of Michaela's head and let go of her. While the two climbers took their things from the horses, Chris and Michaela stepped towards each other and watched silently. Both couldn't deny the uneasy feelings that were rising inside of them and when Amanda and Sully were ready to leave them, neither reacted to the climbers' final wave as they started their way up the mountain.

Sully, however, turned back to see Michaela once again and caught the concerned glance that the teacher and Michaela shared. He instantly let go all the things he was carrying and didn't react to Amanda's unnerved, "Sully, what are you doing?" but rushed towards the woman who held his heart. Pulling her aside some feet, he first hugged her tightly and then bent back to look at her, "It's only you, Michaela, never forget that."

Seeing tears appear in her eyes, he didn't care that there were people watching them, he gave in to the urge to kiss her and covered her mouth with his.

Feeling his soft, warm lips on hers, Michaela almost lost her composure. Sensing this, Sully lifted his head again but only to shower her face with feather-light kisses until he tightened the embrace again and whispered into her ear, "Only you."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

After long hours of going up the lower parts of the mountain, interrupted only by a few short breaks to take a sip from the canteen or to eat a bite, the climbers reached a small almost plane area. Looking at the sky, Sully recognized that dusk was approaching and he decided that this was the right place to settle down for the night. Without even looking at Amanda, he told her, "You take care of a fire and I'll make sure that it's safe here."

The young woman only nodded and let her things fall onto the ground. She was exhausted and frustrated, nothing had worked the way she had wanted it to until now. Tomorrow, she decided, things had to change. First, she wanted to climb slower, and she wasn't only determined to reach the peak but on her way there, she needed more breaks so she could take in all the sights that opened up to her. And she needed to communicate; it had almost killed her to keep her mouth shut all the time. It was no fun if she couldn't share her thoughts and she didn't like to be ignored. Sully had acted as if she didn't exist; of course he had made sure that they were going the right way and that the path was safe for her, but that had been all. While she was gathering the wood for the fire, she thought back to the moment when they had left Chris and Dr. Mike. Well, she was sure now that Sully was head over heels in love with the doctor but that didn't mean Sully and her couldn't be friends, very good friends if she had her way. Soon, Chris would be at school all morning and she didn't want to spend these hours alone; Sully could be a good companion since the doctor would be busy as well. However, if she was honest to herself, it had bothered her that Chris seemed to be really close to Michaela and she had noticed the concerned look that they had shared, too. She didn't want for her fiancé to come to the wrong conclusions; she needed him in her life. Although she loved her family dearly, she wanted to finally escape the ranch and the hard life there; she wanted her own life at the side of a respected man. Chris could give her that and she wasn't willing to risk it. She just couldn't help herself when such an interesting character like Sully was around her, all she wanted was his attention and to know that he cared for her…

While Sully was looking around for potential danger, his thoughts were still with Michaela as they had been all day. Now, he actually wished that he had taken the teacher's offer to cancel the trip, he wasn't sure if his assurances would last until they were back. Maybe, this climbing was the one action that would be the last straw. Of course he was sure that Michaela wouldn't just vanish from his life, he knew she would never leave Hannah. However, he had to admit that it was his fault that their relationship didn't improve; he had still avoided talking about Flying Sun, mostly because he didn't really want to think about it. The moment he had told the Indian woman that they were the same, he had meant it and that frightened him in a way. He knew that he didn't love her, but the way they had spent their time together for one and a half years had been very comfortable and he still felt more at home with his Indian family… On the other hand, he was sure that he didn't want to live his life without Michaela and his daughter, and even more, he was sure he couldn't.

Sighing, he turned his thoughts back to the task in front of him. He was glad that the day had gone by without any problems and that even Amanda had cooperated. That's why he was taken aback as she welcomed him back to their camp for the night with a sarcastic comment. "So you remembered me?"

Only at that moment, he became aware that it was almost dark by now; he had been so deep in thoughts that he hadn't noticed how long he had been looking around. However, he didn't appreciate her almost provoking remark, but he didn't deign her an answer and just glared at her. Then, upon seeing that Amanda had placed their bedrolls next to each other, he took his and put it down so that they would sleep on opposite sides of the fire. This didn't improve Amanda's mood and she told him; "I wouldn't bite, you know. And Dr. Mike isn't here to judge whether you act her proper way or not."

Instantly, she knew that this had been the wrong way to approach him because Sully immediately shot back, "Leave Michaela out of this!"

Taking a deep breath, Amanda calmed herself down and tried another tactic. She had lived with men all her life and knew how to handle them. It would be ridiculous if she couldn't do it with this one. After an appropriate period of time she made another attempt. "Look, Sully, I know that you are doing this for Chris, but he wanted this for me because he knows how much it means to me to climb a mountain at this time of the year." When Sully neither responded to nor rejected her, she continued more sincerely, "Why don't we make the best out of this situation? I know that you enjoy being outside as much as I do. It would be a waste of time if we don't pay any attention to the surroundings; so why arguing, you could see this trip as a break from your life as I'm trying to do it and when we return to town, we both will have new energy to face the daily challenges of our lives." She bit her tongue so as not to add, "And that woman who only restricts you."

Sully regarded her thoughtfully; in a way she was right. He _had_ to spend a few days out here, so why not make the best out of them? Exhaling a long breath, he let his shoulders slump and agreed. "All right, but it will stay the way it has been today, I'm gonna go look for the path we'll take…"

Amanda hastily interjected, "Of course," and bowing her head so he couldn't see her triumphant smile, she added, "I have only one wish, could we slow down our pace a bit? I don't know how long I can climb in such a speed as we did today…" She made her voice trail off and this had the longed-for effect.

Immediately feeling guilty for not being sensitive enough to the needs of the young woman, Sully assured her, "Course we can go slower, just tell me when I'm too fast."

Knowing that she shouldn't overdo it, Amanda only nodded. There would be enough time for her to make him talk, she knew now how to manage him; he was the protective type and she would make sure to take advantage of that.

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On Friday morning, Michaela, Hannah and Wolf were on their usual way out to the reservation to bring the milk; only today, they had a companion. Cloud Dancing had agreed to see the town's teacher who was interested in learning as much as he could about the Cheyenne so he could tell his pupils correctly about the history of the place they were living in. Chris was excited and thankful that Dr. Mike had made it possible for him to talk to the medicine man. He had to admit that he had begun to admire the petite woman next to him; she wasn't only a great doctor, as he knew from his own experience, but also someone who cared for everyone in need. He was happy that she saw him as a friend and he respected her far too much to allow himself to see any more in her than that, not even in his thoughts. He knew about her feelings for Sully and since he had witnessed how Sully had assured her his love and how she had struggled with her emotions afterwards, he felt terribly. Even now, a whole day later, he could tell that Michaela was still upset. In an attempt to comfort her, he said quietly, "I'm sorry Dr. Mike, I should have never taken Sully up on his offer to take Amanda on that trip."

Snapping the reins in order to encourage the horses to go on faster, Michaela contemplated how to reassure Chris. After a few moments she replied, "That's all right, really. I'm glad that this way Sully had the opportunity to thank you for saving Hannah's life. He doesn't like to be in debt to anyone. Don't you worry, I think you even did him a favor; Sully loves to be outside for days on end."

Chris looked at her and asked hesitantly, "Do you think that is why he didn't take my offer?"

Michaela glanced at him questioningly, "What offer?"

"I told him that we could cancel the expedition because I don't want him to miss this little girl's birthday," he tickled Hannah's sides and made her squirm and giggle on his lap and added, "Amanda is grown up, after sulking for a time she would have come around."

Michaela's mind started to race as she attempted to digest this information. Why _had_ Sully insisted on going? Because he wanted to spend time with Amanda? She instantly dismissed this thought. Or was it his pride and he just didn't want he to lose his face in front of the town? Or was it the opportunity to be outside again, even if it was only for a few days? She didn't know it and to her surprise, she suddenly felt herself calm down. Her mind had made a decision that her heart didn't approve of; she knew it because the familiar knot she had carried inside of her chest for many years had taken its customary place again; however, she would end the emotional turmoil she had lived in far too long. She would see Sully as her friend from now on, nothing more and nothing less. She was aware of the fact though that Hannah didn't need a friend but her father. Well, they would have to talk about that as soon as Sully was back…

Chris was unsure about what to do, Michaela hadn't said a word since he had broken the news to her but she didn't look as if she was angry either. He searched for a way to lighten the mood and decided to talk about an idea he had for the school. To gain her attention he asked, "Dr. Mike?" and when she turned her head in his direction he added, "Are you all right?"

With a half smile, Michaela assured him, "Of course I am." Sensing the teacher's uncertainty she added, "Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

Chris nodded. "It's something about the school." Meeting her expectant look he continued, "I've thought about the children who have a long way home and those whose parents have, uhm, difficulties giving them enough to eat. How about a lunch after school for all children who want it? We could talk to Grace about preparing it, maybe they can even take their meals at her café…"

Michaela was instantly enthusiastic about the suggestion. "That's a great idea! I'm not sure about the café though, I think we should rather add an extra room to the schoolhouse. You could use it for other occasions as well. I'll ask Sully…" Speaking his name made her breath catch in her throat, but the concerned looks from the teacher and her daughter made her continue, "… to do it."

Chris regarded her thoughtfully, he silently scolded himself for telling her that Sully had had a choice about if he went on the excursion or not. Well, it was too late now and so he stayed on topic, "Another room would be great, I could use it for the meetings with the parents as well or when we perform a theatre play…" Suddenly, his voice trailed off because he remembered that the doctor had told him about all the furniture she would need for her new clinic and that she had wanted for Sully to make them.

Michaela looked at her friend questioningly, "Why did you stop talking?"

Hesitantly, so as not to upset her again, Chris reminded her, "I think we'll have to wait with the room until all the work at your clinic is done."  
Michaela knew what he meant and thought about it for a moment. Then she looked up at him again and gave him another of her half smiles, "Well, the school is a matter of more urgency since it belongs to the town. I will ask Robert E. to help me with my furniture. I hadn't been sure anyway if I would ask Sully; I know that he would rather be outside in the woods than doing such a lot of work at a certain place. It will be enough if he'll agree to build the additional room."

Her tone in the end had made it clear that the discussion about that issue was closed, that's why Chris didn't give a comment although he was sure that Sully would love to help the doctor with her equipment.

When they arrived at the reservation, many eyes watched them. It always took a while for a stranger to be welcomed there but since the white man came with the medicine woman, the Indians were willing to see about him. However, Cloud Dancing and Snowbird had only eyes for Dr. Mike because they instantly recognized the expression on her face: although she smiled, her eyes remained sad and this concerned them deeply. Only Flying Sun felt her hopes rising, she knew it meant that her observation during the white woman's last visit had been right. Maybe Sully had even left her already…

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The mountaineers had resumed their climbing after breakfast. Amanda was satisfied, not only had they eaten their meal in an almost friendly atmosphere but Sully had slowed down their climbing pace as well. He had even stopped with her from time to time to take in the view at the landscape beneath them. For an hour though, he acted strangely and she decided it was about time that he shared his thoughts with her. She kept her voice low and gave it a concerned tone as she approached him. "What's wrong, Sully? You can tell me, maybe I'm able to help."

But Sully lifted his hand to make her stop talking. A while ago, an uneasy feeling he couldn't explain to himself had settled down into his stomach and he just knew that something was wrong. Looking around, he hadn't detected anything that might have caused the anxiety he sensed. The only thing was that with every step he went up higher and higher, the bond between him and Michaela seemed to lose more and more of its power and he constantly fought the urge to turn around and go back to her. However, the moment Amanda spoke to him, Sully spotted a track that shouldn't be there and he was immediately focused on the task of keeping the young woman safe. With a gesture of his hand, he told her to stay where she stood. Taking his tomahawk out of his belt, he carefully moved with noiseless steps until he reached a rocky but plane area some thirty yards away from the place where he had left Amanda. He didn't dare believe his eyes: there sat an at least seventy years old woman aiming a pistol at him. Laying down his tomahawk and slowly lifting his hands, Sully quietly suggested, "You better put that gun down before you hurt anyone, Ma'am."

The old lady, however, didn't show any sign of fear and while she put the pistol down, she chuckled dryly, "You may be right, and you sure aren't the mountain lion I expected."

Alarmed, Sully asked, "You've seen one?"

The woman nodded, "A few minutes ago."

"Amanda, come here!" Sully shouted and within a matter of a few seconds she stood beside him. He glared at her, "I told you to not move." But the young woman only grinned at him and then turned her attention towards the old lady.

Sam Lindsay was amused, a quarreling couple was a nice distraction for a while but then she had to see how to get rid of them again. Slowly straightening from the ground, she introduced herself, "I'm Samantha Lindsay, but I prefer to be called just Sam. I'm on my way to the top and I'm determined to go by myself… And you are? A young married couple?"

Amanda grinned, she found it amusing that it looked as if Sully and she belonged together. Her companion though instantly set their new acquaintance straight, "We ain't no couple and never will be." Softening he added, "The name is Sully and this is Amanda Miller. I'm just her guide to the top because her fiancé couldn't do it."

The young woman rolled her eyes; it could have been fun to play a couple for a while…

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As much as Sam had insisted on being left alone again, Sully hadn't listened and he wasn't impressed in the least as Amanda had tried to convince him that he had to comply with the wishes of other people and then even accused him of trying to ruin her trip. Since he had found the traces of two mountain lions, he knew it was only safe for everyone if they stuck together.

The rest of the Friday they made good progress on their way to the peak and after he had found the right place for their camp, Sully made sure that they took turns in keeping guard throughout the night.

Saturday though was very frustrating for him. It rained heavily all day and they couldn't think of attempting to climb because it was far too slippery. The only thing he could do was to look for a dry shelter. They sat in the cave he had found and while the women were chatting, he watched as the hours went by. Since he had time to think again, the uneasiness from the day before returned and seemed to increase with every minute and he also knew that if the weather didn't cooperate soon, his returning in time for his daughter's birthday was in danger. He knew he couldn't miss it, he just couldn't. Sitting with his legs crossed at the edge of the cave next to the fire, Sully closed his eyes and all he was able to do was to ask the spirits for their help.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

The rain had lessened during the night and when dawn approached, it even ceased. Sam sat up carefully so as not to wake the woman lying next to her. For a moment, she looked at her thoughtfully. After teaching for forty-five years, she had learned to judge people, all the more so when she had had the opportunity for a long talk with them. Amanda had told a lot about herself but barely asked a question to get to know the new acquaintance. About her family though, she had spoken with a smile on her face and the light impatience you feel if your beloved ones don't behave the way you want them to. The fiancé had been an issue as well, and Sam hoped for the young woman, that this man and his love for her were strong enough for the challenges that a selfish character might bring into the life of the couple.

Silently getting on her feet, the old teacher looked over at Sully who slept at the entrance of the cave next to the fire. She had liked the young man right from the start and could tell that he was deeply worried about something. When she had asked Amanda about it yesterday, the young woman had dismissed it as unimportant. Well, she, Sam Lindsay, would never know about whether the young woman's opinion was justified because she was determined to leave the young people right now. Stepping to the edge of the cave, she saw that she would have to change her plan though. A thick fog that made it impossible to see anything outside had replaced the rain. Sighing, she sat down next to the fire and fed it with some dry wood they had found in the back of the cave yesterday.

As the flames went higher and crackled, Sully stirred. Disoriented at first, he looked around until his eyes fell on Sam who greeted him with a smile and raised eyebrows. His memory instantly came back; it was already Sunday and they still had quite a way to climb up to reach the peak. Noticing the fog outside he knew he would miss his daughter's birthday. They would have to wait a few hours until it was safe enough to resume their journey, and it was impossible to reach the summit and then climb down all the way back to the base of the mountain within one and a half days. Sully sat up and running his hands though his hair, he exhaled loudly.

Sam watched him with compassion and in an effort to ease his sorrows she said, "Sometimes it helps to talk about it, Cowboy."

Sensing not curiosity but friendly intention, Sully glanced at her and quietly replied, "It won't." There was no conversation that could help him spare his daughter the pain of the fact that her father would miss her party. Absent-mindedly, his hand went to the pocket of his fringed leather jacket and felt for the small items in it. Grasping them, Sully pulled them out and seeing Sam's questioning look, he hesitated only a moment before he showed her three wooden wolf pups.

Sam marveled at the small figures, "You made them?"

Sighing, Sully nodded, "For my daughter, it's her birthday tomorrow."

Some things fell into place for Sam and she softly asked, "What are you doing here then? I can tell that you are not happy about being at this place."

Sully glanced at her and seeing only genuine interest on the friendly face, he decided to give her some information. "Her," he pointed with his head at the still sleeping Amanda, "Fiancé saved Hannah's life and got hurt doing so, that's why he can't make the trip himself so I offered my help…"

"And your wife isn't happy about that, right?" Sam's blue eyes showed her sympathy, this young man obviously had his principles and she liked that.

Sully shook his head, "It ain't that… and Michaela isn't my wife. Abigail died giving birth to Hannah." As Sully spoke he realized that this wasn't an explanation that could make sense to the older woman and he began again, "My wife Abigail died when Hannah was born. Afterwards I was so caught up in my grief that I ran away. The Cheyenne medicine man Cloud Dancing found me and helped me get back into life… the Cheyenne are my family now…" He trailed off. Could he have two families? Was that his problem? That he couldn't decide between the two of them? What if he had to decide?

Sam had sensed the hurt of the memories and the uncertainty that had followed the last statement. Gently she asked, "What about your daughter, it looks as if you cared for her, too?"

The answer came promptly and almost harsh, "Course I do! I love her!"

Tenderly laying her hand on his knee, Sam assured, "No need to get angry. I didn't want to poke my nose into your affairs." After a reassuring pat on his knee, she bent back again.

Suddenly realizing that his daughter's birthday was also his late wife's day of death, the old woman looked at Sully with even more sympathy. "So tomorrow will be difficult for you, I understand."

Sully, however, was now determined to explain his dilemma; he had the impression that this old lady might be able to give him the advice he needed, "It ain't about me, it's about my daughter. I left her alone for one and a half years and when I came back, I think I made things worse for her. She started to trust me but I left her to go with the Cheyenne to their winter camp. When I returned, I got shot, I think though that that was the best time we ever had with each other because we spent our all days together until I was healthy enough to go on trips again. And I did it, going away I mean. I did it so often that she asked a stranger if he wanted to be her pa…"

The memory made his voice choke; his little girl wanted to give up on him. "When I'm not back tomorrow, she'll never trust me again." His voice was barely audible as he spoke the last words, and for himself he mutely added, "And Michaela won't either."

Feeling the young man's need for someone who could help him to sort his thoughts, Sam kept her voice low as she replied, "Then I have to ask you again: what are you doing here?"

When she saw that Sully was growing impatient or even angry, she softly added, "Is there something more important on that peak than the love and the trust… than the happiness of your child?"

Sully instantly calmed down again and looked at the old lady in astonishment. When he responded, "I got a promise to keep," they both knew that he had recognized that this time, it might have been wrong to insist on a principle, even one he could usually be proud of. His relief was palpable and with a small smile Sully said, "If we start down as soon as the fog is gone, we can make it in time for the party."

Amanda had woken up a few minutes ago and had held her breath as she listened to Sully's and Sam's conversation, hoping to learn something new about the mountain man. His last statement though made her jump up, and she startled the two others as she exclaimed, "We can't go back now, we are almost there and it would be perfect because it is even Sunday and things are exactly the way they should be!"

Sully felt his temper rising as he replied, "Why's it so important anyway?" Putting the carved toys back into his pocket he rose to face the young woman. "You can watch the landscape…"

Amanda cut him off, "I told you that it's a tradition!"

"A tradition you created yourself," Sully shot back, "If you only wanted…"

"I don't!" She was screaming now, "Don't you understand? That's finally something only for me and I have every right…"

"What about the right of that little girl who is waiting for her father?" Sam's gentle but firm voice made Amanda stop for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure and continued, directing her speech at the older woman now, "That child will be only two tomorrow and next year she will have forgotten that Sully wasn't there but I would always know that my tradition was shattered today. And by the way, don't believe him when he says that he is only concerned for his daughter, if you ask me, he is just afraid of the doctor's reaction…"

"No one is asking you and I've already told you to leave Michaela out of this!" Sully was losing control and Sam knew she had to do something. Although she of course knew that this wasn't the case, she asked the young man, "Are you sick, Mr. Sully?"

This question instantly took his steam away and after casting another glare at Amanda, Sully turned towards the old lady again. "No, I'm not sick. Michaela, Dr. Quinn, is Hannah's mother now…"

Sam's eyes flashed in surprise, "A woman physician? What a pity that I never met her."

Smiling now, Sully suggested, "But you still could, when you visit us, after your climb."

He didn't understand why the old face was clouding over now, but he didn't want to press either.

Amanda's still somewhat shrill voice brought them back to the topic, "Whatever you will say or do, I will start climbing up, not down after the fog is gone and you can explain to Chris then why you returned without me if you really want to go back to town." With that she sat down and searched in her bag for some dried meat for breakfast.

Sully and Sam glanced at each other; they knew that it would be useless to continue the conversation right now, and so they took their places next to the fire again, caught up in their own thoughts.

Two hours later, the sun had developed enough power to lighten the fog and the surroundings were visible again. Sully was more determined to return into town than ever so he could be there in time for Hanna's party; Sam would only wait until the young couple was gone and then resume her own climb and Amanda was prepared to go to any length to have her way. So, they all packed their things in silence and eventually stood in front of the cave together. Amanda was the first who couldn't take it any longer and glared at Sully. "I hope you didn't forget that Chris saved your daughter's life and that is why he can't be there for me right now, you are here because you promised to take me up…"

Sully didn't let her finish. "I've made a mistake when I promised to do that and I apologize but we ain't climbing further up, we're gonna go back into town."

Thinking, he had made himself clear enough, he turned towards Sam to suggest that she should come with them, but Amanda was far away from complying. She had made up her mind, she would rather go with the old lady or even alone than retreat from her plan. "You can't order me, Sully; I'm climbing further, just watch me."

With that, she turned and almost ran towards the small path that would lead her up to the summit.

Sully threw his hands up in frustration and shouted after her, "Come back here, you can't…Watch your step!"

But it was too late. In the rush to make Sully follow her because she knew he would never leave her alone, she had missed that there was an area with loosely lying stones and when she stepped onto it, she lost her balance and fell. Since she wasn't prepared for that, she hit the ground in an unfortunate way and the snapping of a breaking bone was heard. Instantly the others were on her side and Sam gently asked, "Where does it hurt, dear?"

Tears of pain and frustration made it difficult to speak for Amanda. "My arm…"

Silently thanking the spirits that it wasn't one of her legs, because then he would have had to carry her all the way down, Sully quietly asked, "Can you sit up?"

Nodding, Amanda did so. Sam carefully examined the young woman's arm and noticed the awkward angle in the right forearm. She had seen some broken bones in her years as a teacher and told Sully, "We'll need a splint." Sully went to find one while Sam noticed that Amanda's shoulder too wasn't in the right position. "Oh dear, we have to take you to a doctor as soon as possible; it looks as if your shoulder is dislocated as well…"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

On Sunday morning, Michaela and Chris had brought the two climbers' horses back to the place where they had said their goodbyes three days earlier. Michaela knew that it was far too early to hope they might be back already, however, she couldn't deny that she was disappointed that there was no trace of them yet; of course not for herself but for Hannah. When there wasn't any sign of Sully and Amanda in the evening either, she grew concerned. Knowing that Sully would try anything to be back as soon as possible for his daughter's sake, the doctor began to fear that something had gone wrong. Thinking of Hannah, she decided to keep on doing the daily routine. Chris would arrive at the homestead after breakfast and then they would go out to the reservation, and when they returned, hopefully the climbers would be back.

They weren't back when Michaela, Chris and Hannah returned from their visit with Cloud Dancing on Monday morning, and Michaela contemplated what to do. Should she postpone the party for a few hours? Hannah knew that her ma was concerned although her mother tried to hide it. She, however, wasn't worried in the least; she felt that her pa was on his way home to her. This feeling had grown stronger since yesterday and when they arrived at the homestead again and nobody was there yet, she shook her head as Michaela reached for her to come down onto the ground.

"Sweetheart," Michaela made a new attempt but Hannah still shook her head. "Pease, ma, meet pa."

Searching for his help, Michaela looked at Chris, but he was eager himself to look if the mountaineers were finally back and so he suggested, "We could go out there and read a little, this way we will be occupied and the time till the birthday party will go by faster." Raising his eyebrows, he looked at the doctor and she knew that he was referring to the time until the return of his fiancée as well.

Knowing that she was outnumbered, Michaela sighed, "All right, but we'll take our lunch…" She couldn't finish her sentence because two small arms almost choked her and when she at last was able to breathe again, she couldn't help but laugh. Stroking the blond locks back from Hannah's forehead she enjoyed the happy face of her little girl. Hannah beamed at her mother with her father's blue eyes and Michaela silently prayed that Sully wouldn't disappoint his daughter once again.

By early afternoon, it seemed that he would do so. To Michaela's astonishment, Hannah was still relaxed while the adults around her grew more and more anxious. The moment Michaela decided to give up waiting, Wolf woke from his slumber, lifted his head from his paws, stood and wagged his tail heavily. Instantly, all eyes searched the tree line for any sign of the climbers. Michaela was the first one to see them, and although she didn't want it, her heart first skipped a beat and then started to race at the sight of Sully. Wolf was already running towards his master and Hannah was scampering as fast as she could, all the way to her father shouting, "Pa, pa!" until she reached him.

While wondering who the third person in the group was and only nodding at the older woman's direction, the doctor simultaneously noticed the injured state Amanda was in. So did Chris and together they hurried towards the young woman. While Sully lifted his daughter with both hands above his head and made the little girl squeal with delight, Amanda let herself fall onto the grass. She was exhausted, in great pain since the accident and still extremely frustrated that her expedition had failed. She couldn't think straight but she hadn't forgotten who was, in her opinion, the source of everything that had gone wrong, and so she hissed through clenched teeth at Michaela, "It's been all your fault!" With that the last energy seemed to leave her body and she sank onto her back, only cushioned by the tender hands of her fiancé.

The doctor didn't react to that statement but started to examine her new patient. Joining the group, with Hannah still in his arms, Sully explained quietly, "It happened yesterday morning; she fell…"

Avoiding Sully's gaze, the doctor acknowledged this information with a nod and straightening again she gave her orders, "Bring her to the wagon, quickly. I'll have to set the bone and the shoulder, I can't do that here though, I'll need to give her some chloroform for the pain."

Sully carefully put Hannah down and led her towards Sam. "This is my daughter Hannah Sully. Hannah, this is Sam, you stay with her for a moment, I'm gonna help your ma."

Hannah complied and eyed the old lady curiously. Her pa was back, and she had known he would be the whole time, so everything was all right with the world and she was ready for new adventures.

She didn't notice that her pa, on his way to the driver's seat, met her ma, who was about going to the back of the wagon to climb up there and sit with her patient. Sully longed to hold Michaela in his arms at least for a moment and since the others couldn't see them right now, he pulled her in an embrace. He met resistance though and bending back, he looked at her face. "Michaela?"

Hearing his gentle voice and noticing the concerned tone, her heart started to race again. What should she do? When he had been away it had seemed to be so easy to go back to just being friends but now she wasn't so sure if she actually could do that. Pressing her forehead against his chest for a moment and thus avoiding his questioning gaze, she hastily murmured, "Let's talk later, Sully, we have to hurry."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Fortunately, Colleen had been at Grace's Café where she was helping with the preparations for Hannah's birthday party, so Michaela was able to call to her as the wagon passed the restaurant. When the vehicle turned around the bend, Charlotte's daughter was already on the porch of the clinic, waiting for the doctor and her patient.

Amanda had grown quiet during the drive because Michaela had given her a dose of laudanum to help the young woman to suppress the pain. However, as the horses were pulled into a halt now, Amanda came out of her subdued state. Still on the wagon, she complained about the doctor not setting her bone right away. When Michaela told to her that she might have to re-break the bone because of the time that had gone by since the accident, the young woman changed the issue and stubbornly insisted on Chris coming with her while she was treated. Seeing that the doctor wouldn't give that permission, she protested, "You can't hope that I want to be all alone with you in there!"

Michaela wasn't offended though because she was aware that her friend's fiancée was under emotional stress and so she just explained patiently, "I never allow the family to be present during the treatment, Miss Miller, unless, of course, the patient is a child. Your fiancé can see you as soon as you are settled down in bed."

Although Amanda didn't like this turn of events, she gave in and at last followed Colleen into the examination room.

It had become a tradition that people would gather in front of the clinic as soon as there had been an accident, an operation or another kind of emergency. Since the arrival of the climbers hadn't gone by unnoticed, the usual crowd was already there. Sam sat on the bench next to Sully with Hannah, who had her little arms thrown around his neck, on his lap. Chris wasn't able to just sit quietly and so he paced in front of them, watched by those present on the street. Everyone was curious to know what had happened, but no one dared to ask. Even Dorothy, equipped with a notepad and a pencil and ready to write down everything she heard, didn't say one word. She had had a larger disagreement with her brother-in-law that morning about whether she should attend Hannah's birthday party or not and they had parted in anger after breakfast.

Hank had remained on his side of the street and leant against a post of the saloon porch; as much as he wanted to tease Sully, he was aware of the mountain man's little girl and so he held back with his comments as hard as it was for him.

As the silence grew awkward, Loren decided to strike up a conversation with Sully. However, he knew better than to ask straight what had happened on the mountain and so he talked about a topic that was also highly interesting to him. "Sully, when are you gonna start with that addition? We have to order the lumber as soon as possible so it'll be here in time."

Sully snapped out of his thoughts upon hearing his former father-in-law's voice directed at him. Since he had no clue what Loren meant, he asked him in bewilderment, "What are you talking about?"

Hearing the storekeeper's question, Chris had stopped his pacing. He first turned towards the older man and informed him, "There hadn't been any time to tell Sully about it yet, Mr. Bray." Then directing his speech at Sully he explained, "I suggested to offer the children a free lunch after school each day and Dr. Mike thought it would be great to add another room to the schoolhouse so they can take their meals there. She wanted to ask you if you would do it."

Sully thought it odd that Michaela would think he might refuse to do the addition and so he replied somewhat indignantly, "Course I will." At that moment, it occurred to him that she might have wanted him to finish the work at the clinic first, and so he added, "If she can wait with the furniture for her rooms here, that is."

Chris grew uncomfortable, he didn't want to be the one who broke the news to Sully that Dr. Mike didn't want him to do the equipment for the clinic but Loren thought nothing of it and set the mountain man straight, "She asked Robert E. to do the recovery rooms, he already told me about a huge order to come."

Anyone could see the older man's excitement about the boost for his business; Chris' attention, however, was still directed at Sully. In an attempt to reassure him that Dr. Mike had only his best interests in mind, he explained, "She said she didn't want to take advantage of you, that you have to think of other things as well, that building furniture isn't what you usually do, and that you might rather be outside than working inside a house..."

Chris ran out of things to say and winced as he realized that he had messed things up once again when he saw the mixture of puzzlement and hurt on the other man's face and so he momentarily stopped talking. There was one question though he couldn't hold back any longer. "What happened out there, Sully?"

Guilt was instantly added to the turmoil of the mountain man's feelings. In his opinion, the accident had been his fault and he had to admit it, but he didn't know where to start. Sam, however, spared him the trouble. She had taken in everything that had happened until now with great interest. Sensing that the young man at her side would blame himself, she took matters in her hands and informed the young teacher, "Your fiancée didn't want to listen and stormed away in an effort to get what she wanted, Mr. James. She didn't watch her steps and fell."

Chris had feared something like that. Sighing, he turned towards Sully again. "I'm sorry about the whole situation. I should have listened more carefully when Dr. Mike said that this was a bad idea right from the start. I'm sorry that I've made things worse for you…" He trailed off but Sully, already alarmed, instantly demanded to know, "What do you mean?"

Being aware of the people around them, Chris didn't want to tell it the other man directly. Hoping that Sully would understand the teacher said, "She knows about our conversation at the school."

Seeing the other man's face clouding over, he added, "It slipped, I'm so sorry."

Sully let out a long breath and let himself fall against the back of the bench. Absent-mindedly stroking Hannah's hair he considered the situation. Michaela's reserve was making even more sense to him now; he had feared from the moment he had left her that she might have second thoughts about them being together again… Michaela hadn't been angry though… Reliving every minute since they had met not even an hour before, Sully came to the conclusion that she had looked as if she had made a decision… His heart started to race at the thought that this time, he might have lost her for sure. Why did everything have to be so complicated? He suddenly felt as if the people around him wouldn't allow him to breathe anymore, and feeling some kind of panic rising inside of him, he frantically searched for a way to escape them all. There was only one place he could think of where he would be left alone right now. Looking down at his daughter's face and seeing nervousness lingering in her eyes, he whispered, "Let's go to your ma."

Hannah, who had felt her father's growing tension, nodded in relief and tightened her grip around her pa's neck as he rose from his seat with her. She was puzzled for a moment though when her pa didn't get ready to enter the clinic but stepped down from the porch instead. She only relaxed as she recognized the direction they went in; however, a second later she tensed up again and informed her pa, "Ma said we all go."

Sully didn't want to be stopped on his way, he needed a place to think in quiet and so he simply replied, "She's busy right now, she'll join us later."

To his relief, Hannah accepted this explanation and as they arrived at Abigail's grave, he put her down. The little girl instantly busied herself with rearranging the stones and murmuring words to her mother in heaven. Her Ma had told her that her other ma could hear when her little girl talked to her and so Hannah had gotten into the habit of telling one of the stories she liked as soon as they arrived at the grave.

Sully swallowed hard and fought to keep his composure. Remembering the thoughts he had had on the mountain, he only knew one thing for sure: as much as he loved and needed his Indian family, he didn't want to live without Michaela. He just had to find a way to combine his two families… Looking down at Abigail's grave, he reflected on their life together. In their early years, he would leave the homestead in the mornings to work for the mining company near town. When he returned to his wife late in the evenings, she would await him with a fresh-cooked meal and the need to chat. Actually, he had never asked her how she spent her days, he only knew that she was with Charlotte a lot and sometimes watched little Brian and Colleen. Three years after their wedding though, Abby had insisted on him to give up his mining job, not only because she thought it too dangerous but because she also wanted them to spend more time together. Since they had their own house with a garden for the vegetables and even a cow in the barn and some chicken as well, they hadn't needed so much money for their daily living. Considering that, he had agreed and took jobs from Robert E., who back then had only recently settled down in Colorado Springs, and he resumed hunting, setting traps he had learned during his years with Daniel. This way they had lived a simple but agreeable life until Abigail grew restless again and wanted her own child. She could never enjoy being a mother…

Sensing the feelings of guilt returning, Sully tried to focus his thoughts on the present again. Looking down at their daughter, he knew that Hannah hadn't become that lovely and smart little girl she was because of him. He was determined to participate in her education from now on though; he didn't only owe that to his child but to Abigail as well. He had already done the first steps and in a few days he would do the next. However, he still had no clue how to mend things with Michaela…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

When the doctor opened the door and stepped out on the clinic porch, the crowd had dispersed and only Chris, the older woman, who had accompanied Sully and Amanda, and both Dorothy and Loren were still waiting. Of course, Michaela first turned towards Chris and tried to ease the sorrow she could read on his face. "She is resting comfortably now and she will continue to sleep a while. There is no reason to worry, everything should heal properly, it will just take some time."

Smiling in relief, the teacher responded, "Thank you, Dr. Mike. And I'm sorry about the way she behaved, I have no idea what's wrong with her…" Remembering that he still had to tell her about Sully, he trailed off for a moment.

He didn't get the chance to resume though because an impatient Loren demanded to know, "So will there still be a party? You don't need to stay here?"

Before she could answer, Dorothy quipped, "Wouldn't be the first time that you'd rather work than take care of Loren's granddaughter…"

"Aww, Dorothy!" Loren exclaimed, "I've told you to leave her be!"

Turning towards Michaela again, the older man tried to gauge her reaction. This day was hard enough for him, after all, he had lost his only child two years ago but the last thing he wanted was to spoil the day for his little girl. Seeing no angry lines on Dr. Mike's face though but an indulgent smile on her lips, he eagerly asked, "So we're doin' everything as planned?"

Laying her hand on the older man's arm, Michaela reassured him, "Don't worry, Loren, everything will work out just fine, especially now since even Sully is there for Hannah's big day…"

Frowning, she looked around and asked in puzzlement, "Where is he?"

Chris, who hadn't entered the clinic yet, admitted, "I told him that you asked Robert E. to work on the clinic equipment and he suddenly left… He took Hannah with him."

Before Michaela could digest the information, Hank, who was pleased that there was no one he had to consider when he spoke, shot one of his comments from across the street. "He's at the place he likes to run off from. Ya better take the time to look and see if he's still there. If ya were a normal woman, ya would…"

Michaela cut him off; she didn't want to embarrass the stranger by making her hear what Hank thought he had to tell the doctor. "Thank you for considering me as not normal, Hank, I really appreciate that."

Without giving the saloon owner the chance to continue, she turned towards Chris, "You may go to Amanda. Colleen will stay with her for a moment, she knows when something is wrong and will call for me, but I'm sure that there will be nothing to worry about."  
With an encouraging nod she sent him inside and then focused her attention on Hannah's grandfather once again, "We will meet at the café as arranged, Loren."

As the older man left the clinic porch in contentment, taking Dorothy, who knew better than to talk again, along with him, Michaela turned towards Sam, she held her hand out and apologized, ""You must think me very rude, but you've seen all the chaos."

Encouraged by the gentle smile on the older woman's face, she finally introduced herself, "I'm Dr. Michaela Quinn, it's nice to meet you."

Shaking the offered hand and watching the young woman's face carefully, Sam replied, "I'm Sam Lindsay, only my enemies call me Samantha." Gaining an open smile in return, she added, "We can talk later, I think you should go after your beau, he seemed to be rather disturbed when he left."

For a moment, Michaela hesitated because of the term beau, but deciding to dismiss it, she only nodded and turned to head towards the graveyard.

As she came closer, she slowed her pace. Hannah seemed to be all right, she knelt next to her mother's grave and played with the stones that covered it and Michaela was quite sure that she even told her one of her stories. However, even from behind she recognized Sully's tensed up posture. Only two months before, he had been so devastated at this place that he had yelled at her and then run away afterwards; what would he do today? Contemplating that, Michaela remained at the entrance of the graveyard and watching father and daughter, she suddenly felt like an intruder. She had planned to visit Abigail's grave with Hannah and Sully after the party but it looked as if Sully didn't want her to be with them. Biting back tears of disappointment, she considered what a friend would do in a situation like this. Well, her first concern had to be that Hannah wouldn't get hurt emotionally; she would do anything to prevent that. She wished she knew what Sully was thinking, she wanted to be there for him, too but it looked as if he wanted to be alone with his family…

It was as if he had heard her. Sully slowly pivoted and spotted Michaela's lonely form. He knew her well enough by now to recognize that she was trying to switch off all her emotions, which meant she was preparing herself for a difficult situation. Without thinking, he rushed to her and pulled her into his arms. Clutching her to his chest so she could barely breathe, he buried his face in her hair. His voice was muffled when he implored, "Please, don't leave me today…"

They were both aware of the ambiguity that this pleading held and while Sully was terrified because he feared she would reject him, Michaela was hit in her innermost core. Never before had she felt his desperate need for her like she did now. Struggling with her own emotions, she softly promised, "I won't."

For both of them, the rest of the day went by as if they lived in a dream. Hannah's party was a great pleasure for everyone who was there and the little girl was overwhelmed by the abundance of presents she got: her ma had knitted a sweater for Bunny, her grandpa gave her a brand-new porcelain doll that has to be named yet, Colleen had made her a necklace out of leather strings and even aunt Dorothy, who tried to be really friendly all afternoon, gave her something: a nice shining red apron with huge pockets where she could hide things. Her two favorite gifts came from Uncle Chris and her pa though. Uncle Chris had painted pictures depicting every line of the bedtime story she loved the most, and had tied them together so she had her first own book. However, her pa's gift had made her heart leap with joy, he had carved three little wolf puppies and this way she had a whole wolf's family now. She loved that!

In the evening, the little girl was so worn out that she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. After that, it was as if Michaela and Sully woke up and were fully aware of their problems again.

They still stood next to Hannah's bed together when Sully couldn't take it any longer. Grasping for Michaela's hand, he pointed with his eyes to the door to indicate that they should go outside. Encouraged because she didn't take her hand out of his, he led her to the top step of the porch stair where they sat down. Sully knew that he had to give her more than words this time to make Michaela see that he wanted their relationship to work. However, with words he had to start and so he began, "I know I've made mistakes, Michaela, but you gotta believe that I really try. All I want is for us to be together."

He didn't gain a response and when he looked at her, he noticed the strained lines on her face. Michaela wasn't sure what to do. She wouldn't break up with Sully today. It was not because she had promised it but she didn't know what the right thing to do was anymore. She couldn't deny her own feelings and she knew that Sully meant every word he had said. Suddenly feeling the gentle pressure of his fingertips on her jaw, she followed his lead and looked at him. His voice was full of love when he assured her, "Michaela, we can do it."

There was nothing she wanted to believe more. She didn't answer but she leant her head against his shoulder and allowed him to pull her closer. They sat together in silence for a long time that night.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"Sweetheart!" Michaela's tone held both, light anger and amusement at the sight of her daughter.

Hannah had only been left alone for a few minutes; Sully was busying himself with getting the wagon ready for their drive into town and Michaela had had to visit the outhouse. As she was entering the house again, her little girl welcomed her with a broad smile; she was fully equipped with all her birthday presents from the day before, ready to start her day. Somehow she had managed to slip on her new apron, the pocket bulging on one side as it struggled to contain a whole wolf family and the one on the other side could barely keep holding the new picture book. Tucked under the little one's right arm was the bunny, wearing its new sweater, and under the left one grandpa's gift, the doll, lay awkwardly and of course she hadn't forgotten Colleen's necklace that hung rather loosely around her neck.

Michaela sighed somewhat exasperated, she was running late. School was starting today and she had to take over the job of watching Amanda from Chris as soon as possible. She crouched down in front of her daughter and tried to explain, "Sweetheart, you can't take all your things with you…"

At that moment, Sully stepped into the room and Michaela was interrupted by his chuckle and Hannah's question, "Why?" which had become her favorite phrase lately.

The mother tried to be patient. "Because you can't play with all of your toys at the same time, sweetheart."

Hugging her things only tighter, the little girl insisted, "I wanna!"

Automatically, Michaela amended, "I want to."

When Hannah innocently asked back, "You wanna pay, too?" Sully dissolved into laughter.

Letting out a long breath, Michaela rose and turned towards him. Frowning, she attempted to hide her impatience by keeping her tone even, "You aren't being really helpful here."

Instantly recognizing that Michaela might lose her temper, Sully tried to calm her down. "Just let her bring them for once, she's still so excited. All right?" Raising his eyebrows, he indicated that it wouldn't hurt to give in. Although Michaela knew better, she pivoted to face her daughter again and agreed, "All right, but only today."

Hannah impishly grinned at her ma and then scampered towards her pa because she knew it was he who she had to thank for her ma giving in. When she reached Sully, he bent down to pick her up. Once he held his beaming daughter in his arms, they shared a secret and satisfied look of understanding. They were lucky that Michaela didn't see it.

A few minutes later, the little family was on its way into town and Michaela finally relaxed a little. While Hannah had been seated with all her toys and Wolf in the back of the wagon, Michaela sat on the driver's bench next to Sully, who held the reins. She knew though, if they were really going to start to do more things together, Sully had to understand some of the rules she had set for Hannah. Glancing sideways at him, she tentatively began, "Sully?"

"Hmm?" he smiled back at her, happy that she didn't seem to be mad.

"About earlier…"

He gave her an encouraging smile. "What about it?"

Unsure how to begin because she didn't want to lecture him, Michaela bowed her head and didn't respond right away. However, before she was able to tell him what was on her mind, she felt Sully's hand on her forearm. Although the material of the sleeves from both her dress and her light-brown leather coat kept her skin separate from his palm, it was as if his touch connected their bodies. Her head turned on its own accord until she met his gaze. The blue in his eyes matched the azure of the bright spring sky and mesmerized her. She was lost for a moment until she heard his soft voice, "It was an exception."

Sully knew that she was only concerned for Hannah and although he sometimes thought that she worried far too much, he had no intention of changing Michaela's way of raising her. He only wanted to bring in his way of seeing the world a little more… Knowing, that his words had the desired effect as Michaela gave him one of her half smiles in return, he took the reins in both hands again.

They rode the rest of the way in comfortable silence and after Sully had pulled the horses into a halt in front of the clinic, he hopped down and rushed around the wagon towards Michaela's side in order to help her down. As always, Sully gripped her at the waist, only today he did so beneath her open coat as Michaela laid her hands on Sully's shoulders for support. When she then stood in front of him on the ground, she started to turn and go for Hannah, but Sully didn't take his hands away. Stopped in her movement, Michaela looked questioningly up into his eyes. Recognizing that he just wanted to prolong the moment to be close to her, she blushed but held his gaze.

…………………………

Chris and Amanda stood on the clinic balcony and looked down at this scene. Amanda felt much better after a good night's rest and secretly reveled in the thought that the doctor would have to wait on her all morning until Chris would be back from school. Seeing how Sully and Dr. Mike were staring at each other made her suddenly grow uncomfortable. Although she had already witnessed Sully kissing Michaela, this time, the intensity of their feelings was almost palpable and seemed to heat up the atmosphere around them, and so Amanda was glad when the little girl, still on the back of the wagon, made her presence known and broke the spell. Noticing that Chris had watched the silent communication down on the street as well, she murmured somewhat indignantly, "Wasn't that embarrassing?"

Chris' quietly spoken response, "You have no idea how much I envy him," made her heart suddenly race in fear. Was her fiancé in love with the doctor? They had spent a lot of time together… The young woman had to know and so she managed to ask in a tremulous voice, "You do?"

Chris turned and let his gaze fall on her face as he answered, "I wished someone would look at me the way she looks at him."

Amanda was stunned; it had never occurred to her that Chris could seriously doubt her love. For the first time, the reality that she might still lose him despite the fact that they were engaged, hit her. Not able to respond, she only stared back at him.

Chris could see that his fiancée had understood; he wanted the woman back he had fallen in love with; although, he had started to think he hadn't met that woman yet. Maybe he had fallen in love with the thought of having a beautiful and smart wife when he had gotten to know Amanda. His feelings for her were confused right now, but he was still willing to give their relationship a chance as he saw the expression of fear and uncertainty on Amanda's face. He took it as a sign that their engagement still meant a lot to her and thus that there was hope for them.

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The stagecoach brought three strangers into town that morning. As soon as they escaped the vehicle, they headed in different directions and so it couldn't be known whether they knew each other or not. Hank, who was looking out for new customers as usual, suspected it though; he could have sworn that he had seen a short exchange of a secret look between them. However, none of them made a beeline to his saloon and so he let them drop from his mind. Although… the one who went towards the meadow had carried a large wooden box like the one he had seen being used by a photographer in Denver once, maybe someone wanted him there to take a picture of the kids on their first day at school…

The second stranger, John Owens, was a tall, smart looking man in his forties. When he entered the mercantile, Dorothy immediately noticed his handsome appearance. Before she could approach him though, she heard her brother-in-law ask him, "Can I help ya?"

Mr. Owens smiled; he could tell that the older man would be a rich source of information. "I'm looking for Dr. Michaela Quinn." He keenly watched the reaction to his statement because he actually was only there to get to know as much as he could about that woman as possible.

Loren's mind raced. He had never seen this man before which meant somehow word about the doc must have spread. When people came looking for her even from other towns, then this would bring more visitors to Colorado Springs and that would do, in turn, some good to his own business as well. He shot a look in Dorothy's direction to warn her not to speak a word, before he responded to the stranger, "Dr. Mike has a clinic down the street and you've made the right decision in lookin' for her. She's a great doctor, even saved my granddaughter's life."

"Really?" The stranger sounded surprised as though he didn't believe what he had just heard. Mrs. Deaver happened to be in the store as well and felt compelled to join the conversation, "If it hadn't been for Dr. Mike, my son Tom would've died when he was attacked by a wasp…"

John grinned inwardly; it always worked when he needed to investigate a certain person to make people talk by appearing as though he doubted their statements…

While his colleagues from the Denver Post were doing their parts of the job, Peter Sacks felt rather uncomfortable as he stood on the street. He saw himself as a true artist and only worked for the newspaper when he ran so short of money that he didn't have a choice but to take any offer he could get. This time, he had been sent with the photographer because the boss suspected that the lady doctor wouldn't allow anyone to take her picture and that's why he was there to draw a likeness. For that, he needed to take her features in at a close distance and the best way to do that was to visit her as a patient. Taking a deep breath to steel himself for his upcoming task, he at last knocked at the clinic door.

"Come in!" Well, at least her voice sounded nice; maybe the rest of her wasn't as unpleasant as he had feared. Tentatively opening the door, he attempted to look ill. He could have spared himself the trouble though, because the doctor still stood with her back to him, placing some files into a cabinet. The artist instinct within him took over instantly as he watched the petite woman pivoting to face him. Her movement was graceful; her long almost coppery shimmering hair softly swung down her back and when he could finally see her face, he was stunned. As she smiled at him and offered her hand in greeting him, he knew that he had never seen a more mesmerizing woman in his life, and he had seen a lot of beautiful women so far.

Since Michaela was used to odd reactions when people met her as a doctor for the first time, she thought nothing of the fact that the young man in front of her looked as if he had momentarily lost his speech. "I'm Dr. Quinn, what can I do for you?"

Peter was still staring and tried to remember which story he had been supposed to tell her. His memory refused to work though and only when the doctor asked, "Are you sick, Mr.…?" did he finally catch himself and shake her hand he still held in his. "Peter Sacks, ma'am. And yes, I don't feel well, my stomach…"

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By the time Daniel Watkins was done with the photograph of the schoolhouse, he had gained much more information he hadn't even asked for. As soon as he had settled on the right spot to take the picture, a crowd, that was still growing, had begun to watch him. He wasn't interested in talking though; he was looking for interesting sights… However, his boss had received an article two weeks ago that told about some events in this little town. Since the editor of the Denver Post always recognized a good story but doubted that a doctor would kill a patient to inherit his money only to donate it later, they had been instructed to start their research in Colorado Springs incognito. Well, as a photographer he was rather a man to watch and he still hoped that Dr. Quinn wasn't as bad as described and hopefully would allow him to take her portrait. He speculated that as a woman she must have been through a lot to become a doctor and he was sure that she would at least be an interesting person… His thoughts were interrupted as he felt the interest of the people around him shifting. Looking into the direction all heads were turned now, he saw Peter approaching with a woman at his side. The closer they came, the quicker Daniel's heart pounded. When he locked gazes with the artist momentarily he knew that the young man felt the same way, they both recognized when they were lucky enough to meet real beauty. It was obvious to him though, that the doctor had still no clue why they were here. Since he was seriously interested for himself now to take her portrait, he knew that he had to be honest with her right from the start. As soon as Peter made an effort to introduce him, Daniel cut him off. "Dr. Quinn, it is a pleasure to meet you. I'm the photographer of the Denver Post and I'd like…"

Startled by the gasp of the crowd and the change in the woman in front of him, he stopped and let his hand drop. Michaela froze hearing his identity and glancing at the young man beside her she knew, that he had fooled her. Her tone was quiet though as she responded, "Well, Mr. Watkins, I can't say that I am pleased. If you excuse me, I still have a patient at the clinic."

With that she started to turn and leave them, but both men reached simultaneously for her arm to stop her.

They let go of her instantly though as they heard a dangerous growl of a wolf that suddenly had appeared at the doctor's side. A moment later, Sully, who carried Hannah in his arms, was there as well and set the strangers straight. "Ya heard the lady, she ain't willing to talk to you." With that, he laid his arm protectively around her shoulder and accompanied her back to the clinic.

Michaela refused to see any of the men from Denver until they left in the evening. Mr. Owens and Mr. Sacks were satisfied nevertheless, the reporter had got enough information to write a well investigated article; although his biggest pleasure had been to give Mrs. Jennings a lecture about the responsibility of a reporter, and Peter had already made some sketches of Dr. Quinn, whose face he would never forget anyway, and of Mr. Sully, whom he had studied intensively as the mountain man had stood guard in front of the clinic to make sure that no one would disturb the doctor, as well. No one could know yet that only a few months later, the young artist would show Michaela's portrait in several versions at his first exhibition and one of the visitors there would be incredibly interested in the model of the paintings.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

The arrival of the gentlemen of the Denver Post had been the only remarkable event that week. Amanda, who had grown atypically quiet, was going to be allowed to leave the clinic on Thursday and Sully thought that that would be a good chance to finally ask Michaela out to the reservation. He had already talked everything through with Cloud Dancing and Snowbird and now all he had to do was to convince Michaela to come with him.

In the evening, as all chores were done and Hannah slept, Michaela and Sully took their usual places on the porch step. Although they both had been reluctant to resume the physical part of their relationship, neither of them wanted to miss this part of their daily routine. Michaela had sensed all day that Sully had something on his mind and she hoped he would now tell her what it was. Sensing that she was ready to listen, Sully asked in a quiet voice, "Remember when ya said Hannah can't understand why it's important to me to go hunting with the Cheyenne?"

Since Michaela still didn't know where this was leading, she just nodded when he looked at her. Keeping eye contact, Sully continued, "I wanna show her how it is to be out there more than a few hours on a visit. Me and Cloud Dancing will leave for a couple of days tomorrow, and I want you and Hannah to live in the Cheyenne village until we're back."

Instantly, he could tell that he had chosen the wrong way of breaking the subject. Michaela slid farther away from him and her voice sounded angry, "Sully, you can't just come and tell me what you want me to do. I have patients to see tomorrow morning…"

Laying his hand on her forearm he cut her off and in an attempt to reassure her he said, "We'll leave in the afternoon and I have talked to Robert E., he will take care of the homestead while we're gone…"

Michaela, however, wasn't relieved in the least to hear that. "That doesn't matter, Sully; you can't just make plans for me without even asking me!"

His temper rose as well. "That's not how it is! And I'm telling you now! You said it yourself that Hannah needs to understand and I finally want my daughter to get to know my Cheyenne family because it's her family too! I think she's old enough by now to get her to understand that!"

Michaela turned away from him and looked down on her clasped hands in her lap. Her heartbeat quickened as she contemplated that Sully might have changed his mind as to where he wanted Hannah to live. She had to know and so she said quietly, "I thought we had agreed that Hannah lives in Colorado Springs." She didn't dare say, "That she stays with me." Forgotten fears of loosing her little girl gripped her heart and she tried in vain to mask it with a stoic look on her face.

Sully didn't notice though because he was caught up in his own emotions. Why couldn't she understand? All he wanted was to finally be the responsible-minded father his daughter needed and he wanted to include Michaela in his life as well. Maybe it was her who wasn't ready for them to grow closer. Deciding to give her the freedom to choose herself, he rose from his seat and said without looking at the woman he loved with all his heart, "I'll be here tomorrow after lunch and get Hannah, I would like you to come, too though. Good night, Michaela."

Before she could even blink, Sully was gone. Of course she would go as well; she couldn't let her daughter be alone with people she barely knew for two whole days.

Little did she know that this decision started an event that would roll over her life like an avalanche that raced down the slope of a mountain to bury the village on its foot.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

It was early afternoon when Sully rode towards the homestead. The wagon had a broken rim and Robert E. had said he would take care of it over the weekend, so Sully had saddled his horse today. Hannah would sit in front of him while they rode out to the reservation and if he rode bareback, she might slip down. His daughter had grown a lot lately and he couldn't just hold her in his arms as easily as he used to…

When Sully turned into the yard, Michaela was out there, readying Bear. At breakfast that morning, she had told him that she would come with them; if there were an emergency in town, she had told him that Chris would inform her since he knew where to find her and the Cheyenne had seen him before. The last fact was even more important than the first one because the relationship between the Indians and the citizens had grown strained again due to the fact that dog soldiers had attacked homesteads outside the town quite often lately.

Sully had witnessed how hard Michaela had tried to help Hannah look forward to the upcoming days in the Indian village. To his surprise, his little girl hadn't been very fond of the idea of staying out there over night. His attempt to tantalize her with the prospect of sleeping in a teepee had been met with even more resistance from her side. He didn't understand, she had enjoyed visiting the Cheyenne with him…

Seeing Michaela alone in the yard, Sully decided to take the opportunity and ask her if she had figured out what his daughter's problem was. Michaela only glanced at him when he stepped closer to her after he had dismounted his horse. He couldn't read her expression and so he asked rather tentatively, "You alright?"

Without looking at him she replied, "Of course, I'm worried about Hannah though."

Sully was glad that she broached the subject herself. "What's wrong with her?"

When she kept averting her eyes and busying herself with the saddlebags, Sully laid his hand on her shoulder and softly asked her, "Tell me."

Sighing silently, Michaela acknowledged that she had no choice but to do that if she wanted for the relationship between father and daughter to heal fully and admitted, "She remembers, you know…" Letting her voice trail off, she hoped that he understood.

Sully didn't know what she meant though; he turned her away from Bear so she stood in front of him and took her hands in his. Searching for her eyes he asked, "Remembers what?"

Looking down at their clasped hands, she replied quietly, "When you took her from me and brought her to the reservation."

Sully was stunned and all he could manage to say was, "She does?"

Nodding, Michaela explained, "She doesn't remember the events very clearly but she does recall her feelings… She must have been terrified… You frightened me, too…"

She lifted her head to look at him and could immediately tell by the expression on his face that he was consumed with guilt. Squeezing his hands lightly, she reassured him, "Don't worry, I got over it…" and before she could stop herself, she asked him what she had wanted to know since their first encounter, "Why were you so angry with me that day?"

Sully wasn't sure if he should really tell her, however, when he saw nothing but curiosity in her eyes, he knew he could do it. "I wasn't angry with you. I thought you were the doc's wife and I thought it was unfair that he had my daughter _and_ you…"

Surprised, she studied his face. "But you didn't even know me!"

He wasn't ready to confess the whole truth yet and so he directed their conversation back to the initial topic. "Where's Hannah?"

Knowing by the tone in his voice that he wouldn't tell her any more about the day when they first met, Michaela delicately wriggled her hands out of his and turned back to the task of securing the saddlebags. "She's inside, deciding which toys she is going to take with her."

Sully couldn't help but grin a little. "How many is she allowed to bring…"

Glancing at him to see if he took her seriously, she cut him off, "Not more than two besides the bunny."

Defensively, he lifted his hands a little and raised his eyebrows in amusement, "I gotta check if she's counting right."

………………………………………..

Hannah stared down at all the toys that were spread out on her cot. If she was going into town with her ma, she would make plans about what games to play and then decide which things she needed and it would be fun thinking about her day. It wasn't fun today though; an uneasy feeling had grown in the pit of her stomach since she knew they would spend the night at the Indian village. She couldn't quite grasp what it was that scared her, but she felt as if she just knew something bad would happen…

Sighing loudly, she tried to go back to her task of choosing the things she wanted to take. There was no question that the bunny would come, without it, the bad dreams could return. That thought brought the faint memory back again; it had been dark and smelled of smoke and she had been all alone… Maybe she could tell her ma that she didn't feel well…

The sound of the opening door made her turn towards the entrance. Seeing her pa, she didn't feel relieved though, to the contrary, his presence unsettled her even more. She didn't know why, and that almost made her cry.

Sully was worried; he had never seen his daughter in this state before. With a few long strides he was at her side and crouched down to be on eye level with her. Tentatively, he laid his hand on the little back and started to rub it soothingly. His voice was full of love and concern as he asked her, "What's wrong, sweet girl?"

Hannah didn't know what to do. She knew it was her pa who wanted them to go; would he get mad if she told him? Feeling desperation growing inside of her, she suddenly threw her little arms around his neck and whispered into his ear, "Stay home, pease!"

Sully hugged his little girl back. He had learned that the only way to overcome fears from the past was to face them, but first he had to be sure about the source of his daughter's worries and so he asked "Can you tell me why you don't wanna go?"

Relieved that her pa wasn't mad, Hannah buried her face in the crook of her father's neck and admitted in a small voice, "Feel bad."

Hearing the muffled words, Sully was sure that Hannah's emotions had nothing to do with the past but with facing something unknown instead, and so he dismissed the seriousness of them and tried to ease her fears by saying, "Don't ya worry, as soon as you get out there, you'll forget that you ever felt bad about goin', all right?"

Listening to her pa's words, Hannah ascertained that he hadn't understood. Resignedly, she let go of him and turned back to her toys on her bed.

It would be the last time in his life that Sully didn't take his daughter's feelings seriously.

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On their way to the reservation, they paused for a moment to fill their canteens at the creek. Hannah had calmed down a little after her ma had called all the wolfs her pa had carved for her one toy, saying, "They are a family, sweetheart, and a family is one."

For the little girl this statement had meant the joy of being allowed to take them all with her, she even refrained from taking something else, besides of the bunny of course. Sully couldn't get rid of the feeling that Michaela had said this purposefully to him as well though, and he had grown more and more agitated in the hour before they took their break. When he couldn't restrain himself from asking her about it any longer, he first made sure that Hannah was occupied with a frog at the creek and wouldn't listen to them. Then, he turned towards Michaela who sat on a trunk and demanded somewhat harshly to know, "That family thing, you said it to me, too, right?"

Puzzled by his tone, Michaela looked up at him. Since Sully stood with his back to the sun, she couldn't discern his expression and so she carefully asked back, "What are you talking about, Sully, I…"

When she didn't admit that she wanted him to make a decision, his anger took over. "You can't just tell me I have to decide…"

Suddenly understanding what he was talking about and growing hurt at his assuming attitude and hostile tone, Michaela shot up from her seat and faced him without any hesitation. If he wanted to know what she thought about that subject, fine, it was about time that she put the cards on the table. In a hushed tone so Hannah wouldn't hear her, she lashed out at him, "First of all, that's not what I said and second, if you were honest with yourself, you would know that it is about time to make a decision about how and where you really want to spend your life. Obviously, this issue is already troubling you so much that you recognize it in every word that comes close to it. And you should know by now that if I wanted to tell you to choose at all, then I would never ask for something for me, your daughter would be my first concern! If you would stop thinking so much about yourself, you would know what to do!"

Taken aback by her outburst, Sully remained motionless for a moment. _If_ he was honest and thought about her arguments carefully, he knew, that in a way, she was right. However, he was convinced that it wouldn't do their relationship any good if he gave up a large part of himself, and he _was_ a part of his Indian family. Of course he wanted and needed to be with Michaela and his daughter, too… At last he stepped closer to her. In an attempt to calm her down, he ran his hand down her arm but Michaela backed away from him. Seeing that she wouldn't just give in, he swallowed hard. He considered how to make her understand what he had on his mind, and eventually he told her with all the sincerity he could muster, "Michaela, I love you and I want for us to be together." He hesitated momentarily before he added, "I'm just not ready yet."

Hastily, so as not to looking too forward with her own expectations which she didn't even admit to herself, Michaela assured, "Neither am I, Sully."

They stared at each other, both with undeniable longing in their eyes until Hannah came back to them a few moments later.

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Flying Sun watched from the distance how Sully arrived with the white woman and his daughter. When he had been there the last time, he had taken her aside and explained why he wanted them to be in the village longer than usual; he wanted to show them the real life out here. Real life! The young Indian woman silently snorted in disgust. They would be guests, no matter how long they stayed, and as guests, they wouldn't have to starve or to freeze at night… The only glimmer of hope for her was that Sully had talked to her at all, maybe things between him and the medicine woman weren't too good and Sully had to be a fool if he actually hoped that Dr. Mike ever wanted to live with him in the Indian village. So why making such a fuss at all? If he didn't want to give up living with the Cheyenne, _she_ was there…

Sully regretted for a moment that he had Hannah with him on his horse because it took him longer than usual to dismount and he missed his chance to help Michaela down. She had been awfully quiet the rest of their way and he felt the urge to assure her of his love again. If he had had the opportunity to touch her one last time before he and Cloud Dancing would leave in an hour, he was sure he could make her feel it. Now it would be nearly impossible though, it wasn't customary for a man to show his affection for a woman openly, and it was all the more taboo shortly before a hunting party left.

As soon as Michaela stood on the ground, she switched off her own emotions and directed all of her attention to her daughter. It was obvious that the little girl felt rather uneasy. Snowbird had noticed it immediately as well and the two women exchanged a worried look. In an unspoken agreement they both took one of Hannah's hands and led her into the medicine man's teepee. Michaela thought it would be best to keep her busy and so she suggested unpacking the few things they had brought with them. The little girl's mood seemed to improve while she tucked her bunny in and placed the wolf's family right next to the pile of furs that would be her bed for the next couple of nights. She got frightened again though when the sound of dull drumbeats was suddenly heard from outside, a sound she had never heard before. She rushed to her ma and hugged her legs tightly. Sighing, Michaela silently prayed that she would be able to make her daughter feel comfortable the next few days. She bent down to lift the little girl into her arms and assured her, "There's nothing to be afraid of, sweetheart. The drums help the whole village say its goodbye to the men who are leaving for the hunt," she paused for a moment because chanting could be heard now as well and then added, "Do you hear that? Now they are wishing them good luck. What do you think, should we go outside and watch what's going on and say goodbye to your pa as well?"

Hannah looked at her ma's face, she loved her so much! Throwing her arms around her mother's neck, the little girl mutely nodded. She didn't want to let go of her ma; she couldn't shake off that terrible feeling that something terrible would happen…

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Hannah had slept with Michaela all night; it was as if she wanted to be filled with her ma's presence so she would never forget that feeling of having her close. In the morning, Hannah seemed to be a little calmer and so Michaela dared to leave her playing with some children her daughter knew from earlier visits, while she started the examinations of some Indians she had planned for today. Snowbird was helping her and so both women didn't notice the three dog soldiers who appeared at the edge of the village to search for the Cheyenne medicine man.

One of the braves was Proud Stag who only recently had left his tribe. When the young Indian recognized Flying Sun, he approached her. The woman could see the worried lines on her friend's face. The two of them began to speak in Cheyenne, so Hannah, who sat nearby with two little girls and a boy playing with the carved wolves, didn't understand her.

Proud Stag's tone was hushed but sounded urgent when he asked, "Where's Cloud Dancing? Some of us are really sick and can't come here and we have some injured as well, we need his help!"

Flying Sun's answer, "He's out hunting and won't be back before at least another night," seemed to devastate him. It had been difficult enough to get the permission to look for the medicine man at all and Dark Oak would be terribly angry if they came back without him.

The Indian woman saw the desperation on Proud Stag's face and suddenly a devilish thought crossed her mind. Sully wanted the white woman to learn about the real life of the Indians? Well, she would make sure that Dr. Mike would get the opportunity to make her experience at first hand. After Flying Sun had hastily looked around to see that no one was there to watch her, she told her friend, "The medicine woman is here. I will make sure that you can bring her back with you."

Seeing the doubt on the man's face, she reassuringly added, "Don't worry, she will come. Wait for her around the bend, as soon as she leaves the teepee and I can talk to her alone, I will send her to you."

Proud Stag still hesitated. Even if he could convince Dark Oak to let the white woman treat his men, that didn't mean that he would let her go afterwards. The Cheyenne knew that his friend Sully loved Dr. Mike and he liked her, too… He didn't want for something to happen to her.

Flying Sun grew impatient, she didn't want the opportunity to give both the white woman and Sully a lecture that might heighten her own chances with Sully again, to slip away, and so she reminded Proud Stag, "Aren't you here because you need a doctor? Well, she is one and it is her duty to help you. Now go, before anyone else sees you!"

Still not sure if he was doing the right thing, the young Indian turned to leave the village with his companions.

A few minutes later, Flying Sun couldn't believe how lucky she was. The doctor left the teepee alone and so she hastily approached her, "Dr. Mike, one of my friends had a bad fall, he can't move, you have to help him!"

Michaela misread the young woman's nervousness as concern and assured her, "Of course I will help him, where is he?"

Fearful that she might miss her chance to get rid of the white woman because someone else could appear and destroy her plan, Flying Sun's voice cracked when she informed the doctor, "He's a little out of the village, you have just to follow that path," and she pointed into the direction where Proud Stag had vanished.

Michaela couldn't explain it, but she began to get suspicious. She decided to go though, but first she went to Hannah and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Sweetheart, there has been an accident and I have to take care of a man who got hurt. I'll be back before you can blink, please stay here until I'm back, all right?"

Instantly, the little girl forgot her toys and her friends and clung to her mother, "Not go, pease!"

Michaela tried to reassure her little girl, "I'll just take a look at him and then I'll let people bring him here so I won't be away for long. Look," she pointed with her eyes at the other children who gaped at them, "Your friends want to resume playing and Snowbird will be here any minute, so there is no need to worry. Come here," she hugged her daughter again and stroked her hair and after another peck she continued, "I have to go, I'll be back really soon, alright?"

Not convinced at all, Hannah nodded hesitatingly and let go of her mother. The little girl gazed after her and when her ma was barely in sight anymore, she watched Flying Sun ran after her mother to bring Bear. At this moment, Hannah knew that there was something terribly wrong. She wanted to call for her ma but no sound left her mouth. She wanted to run after her ma, but her little legs didn't move and suddenly, the world around her grew dark.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Hearing the sound of footsteps and hooves behind her, Michaela turned and saw Flying Sun approaching. Wondering why she brought Bear when the injured Indian lay only a few yards away, the doctor wanted to ask but the young woman just gave her the reins and had already pivoted to leave before Michaela was able to say one word. It became even stranger, Michaela felt as if she was caught in a nightmare when suddenly, seemingly from out of nowhere, three Indians on their horses surrounded her. The menace in their appearance was palpable and Michaela couldn't suppress a gasp. However, she still hoped that she misread the situation, maybe the men just wanted to lead her to their companion. However, she could tell by the stoic expressions on the war colored faces that something far more serious was going on. It was a reflex that made her take one step backwards as if to escape which caused the Indians to edge even closer. The doctor's heart began to pound wildly, and when one of the men gestured for her to mount her horse, she searched in his gaze if she could read the braves' intention. It was then that she noticed that she knew him; he was a member of Black Kettle's tribe. Seeing the compassion for her in his eyes, Michaela knew she was in danger and that she had to face the fact that Flying Sun had set a trap for her to get her out of the village. The uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach was immediately replaced by pure horror when she thought about the implications of that betrayal. The dog soldiers didn't give her the time to think about this right now, one of them spoke to her in a language she didn't understand, but she was fully aware of the meaning of his words when his right hand went to the knife in his belt. Michaela's thoughts flew to her daughter and she knew that she, whatever happened, had to survive and so she complied and mounted Bear.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Hannah still lay on the ground with the other children kneeling at her side and anxiously waiting for the white girl to open her eyes again. This was the situation that Snowbird found when she came out of the teepee where she had helped one of the older women to rub her back with some plants that would ease her breathing. Instantly, she rushed to the group and crouched down next to Sully's daughter. She spoke in Cheyenne when she asked one of the older girls, "What happened?"

The children started to tell all at once and the only thing Snowbird was able to detect in their account was, that Dr. Mike had left and after that the little girl had fainted. The Indian woman was puzzled, she couldn't believe that Dr. Mike would leave the village without telling her and even worse, leaving Hannah behind without making sure that she was all right.

Flying Sun could see from the distance that something was wrong when she spotted Snowbird within the group of children on the ground. She broke out in a sweat, not only had she to think very fast about an explanation as to why Dr. Mike had left; she also had to make sure that Sully's daughter felt comfortable. If the little girl got hurt in any way, Sully would never forgive any of them. She quickened her pace and when she reached the others, her mind had already worked out a believable tale about the doctor's sudden disappearance. She wasn't sure if she should tell of her own accord though and so she just waited until Snowbird's gaze at last fell on her.

Looking her friend into the eyes, the medicine man's wife could instantly tell that she wouldn't hear the truth but asked nevertheless, "Where is Dr. Mike?"

Since Flying Sun was prepared for that question, her answer came quickly, "She had to go into town." Determined not to be caught lying, she had decided to tell as little as possible and waited whether Snowbird would be content with that information.

Of course the older woman wasn't and responded unbelievingly, "You are saying that Dr. Mike left without telling me? That she went without the girl?"

Flying Sun carefully stepped closer and pointed at Hannah, "She is awake."

Snowbird immediately directed her attention at the little girl and tentatively stroked her cheek with the back of her fingers. In a gentle voice she assured her, "Do not be afraid, everything will be fine."

Staring in the compassionate face of her mother's friend, Hannah's memory came back in a rush and her heart began to race again. She knew she had to do something; maybe the nice woman could help her… While she cautiously sat up, her words came gushing out, "Man hurt… Ma bring him… no far… but she," the little finger pointed at Flying Sun, "took Bear… no good, not far…"

Snowbird tried to connect the jumbled words. "Someone is hurt not far away and your ma want to bring him back on Bear?"

"No," Hannah shook her head, "Men bring him."

The older woman couldn't make any sense out of these words and seeking for help, she looked up at Flying Sun who hastily told her made up story, "A man came from town for the medicine woman. There has been an accident and many were bleeding. She had to go quickly, there was no time to tell you, that's why she asked me to inform you."

That explanation still sounded strange to Snowbird but she had no choice but to believe it for now; only one point bothered and worried her. "What about Sully's daughter?"

The young Indian woman quickly considered what to tell. It would be great if the girl was with her when Sully came back, on the other hand it was unlikely that Dr. Mike would have asked her to look out for the child. So she decided to just say, "We are to watch her until she or Sully are back." Not waiting for a response, Flying Sun turned and went towards her teepee so she wouldn't be asked anymore.

Snowbird looked down at the little girl's anxious face. Although she could tell that something just didn't sit right, she couldn't figure out what it might be. So she reached out for Hannah to come into her embrace and then straightened together with her in her arms.

While her ma's friend carried her to the teepee where she had slept last night, the little girl knew that no one would do anything right now. She hadn't understood the women's conversation because they had spoken in the other language and so she didn't know what the woman was saying that had once kissed her pa. Resigned, Hannah send a silent message to her pa that he would come and help, and then she went back into the state she had used before; she decided to just wait for her ma to come back. Propping her thumb into her mouth, she leant her head against Snowbird's shoulder and didn't speak one single word again.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

At noon, the two men paused at the creek to refill their canteens. Remembering the similar situation from yesterday, Sully sighed. Curiously, Cloud Dancing looked at his brother while they resumed walking. The medicine man had noticed that his friend had been even quieter than usual since they had left the village. Sully glanced at him and knew he should say something and so he spoke out loud the first thing that came to his mind, "She's been awfully angry."

Questioningly, Cloud Dancing looked at his younger friend and so Sully continued, "I think she doesn't like me going hunting with you so often, she would never admit that though…" He trailed off for a moment, this statement didn't sound right and so he amended, "I think she doesn't like me spending so much time with you and she can't understand my friendship with Flying Sun either… but you both helped me to live again, I'll never forget that…"

He was startled when his friend abruptly halted in his tracks and laid his hand on his forearm to stop him as well. "We didn't bring you back into life for you to not move on with it, my friend."

Sully knew that his brother looked through him and finally said what was really on his mind, "I believe Michaela thinks the same; she wants me to see her and Hannah as my family and not the Cheyenne…" Again he grew silent; wasn't that exactly what he had wanted since the day he had first seen her? That she let him into her life?

Cloud Dancing just raised his eyebrows for him to go on and so Sully added, "I told her I'm not ready yet."

Nodding in understanding and trying in vain to hide his smile, the Indian asked the only important question although he knew that his brother might feel pressed. "What are you waiting for?"

The younger man's eyes flew to his friend. Knowing that it was useless to beat around the bush, he at last admitted, "I've got used to livin' on my own… Coming and goin' as I please… I don't like feelin' fenced in."

"You lived with Abigail," Cloud Dancing pointed out.

Thoughtfully, Sully replied, "I was much younger then."

The medicine man couldn't suppress his smile any longer when he gave his brother one of his short lectures. "Man and woman are not meant to be alone. Like Mother Earth and Father Sky. Everyone has to have a partner or you become out of balance. It is nature." By now, his smile had grown even wider and Sully couldn't help but reciprocate it when he stated, "Dr. Mike is a mighty strong force of nature."

In silent agreement, they resumed walking, and Sully felt much better now that he had spoken out loud what had been on his mind for so long and even more, deep inside of him grew the perception that he had to admit his true fear, the fear that he was horrified to fail another family he built on his own and so he rather didn't want to start it at all.

Later, he couldn't tell if it had been this realization or something else that made him suddenly feel restless or better said uneasy in a way that he felt bound to return to his daughter and Michaela as fast and as soon as possible.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

In the beginning, Michaela had tried to make mental notes about the way the Indians were leading her, but after a few hours of riding she had given it up. She didn't recognize the surroundings anymore; she was positive that she had never been in that part of the woods before. In the meantime, all the rocks and hills they passed looked the same to her and the only thing she noticed was that they went higher and that the trees had become smaller and there were less of them now.

The wind blew colder and Michaela was glad that she had worn her leather coat when she had been forced to leave the village this morning. And there was the question again, why had Flying Sun acted the way she did? Why hadn't she just asked her? Why didn't she want her to inform Snowbird? Why did she deny her to say goodbye to her daughter? At first it had been just a feeling but Michaela was sure by now, that Flying Sun had planned her unnoticed departure, otherwise she wouldn't have had saddled Bear… In a way, Michaela had calmed down though, if the dog soldiers had wanted to kill her, they wouldn't have taken her so far away… However, there was one thought that terrified her: how would Hannah react to her sudden disappearance? Her daughter was in almost the same situation she had been in more than half a year ago, alone in the Indian village; only this time, she knew some of the people there. Michaela was positive that Snowbird would take good care of Sully's daughter… Her train of thoughts was interrupted when the Indians dismounted their horses and gestured for her to do the same; they had to walk again, they had done that already a few times before …

It was late afternoon when it became obvious to Michaela that they had reached their destination. As the group halted, she heard the sounds that only people in a great amount of pain were making and so she reached for her medical bag before the Indians took her between them.

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Dark Oak sat cross-legged by the fire and thought about how to go on from this point. The Indian was deeply concerned; the last two raid parties had been complete failures. Not only that the group that had attacked a ranch hadn't brought any food back they could give to the tribes; after returning to their camp, they had grown sick rapidly and the worst thing was that they had terrible runs. The stench from the place where they emptied themselves had become so unbearable that they even had moved the fires they were sitting by. His group would have to leave that place as soon as his men were able to travel again… Normally, Dark Oak wouldn't have cared if someone was sick or not and just moved on, but those men were young and new with the dog soldiers. They hadn't killed any enemies yet, and so he owed them at least the chance to prove themselves as valuable members of the Indian Nation before they went to the spirits…

The other party hadn't succeeded as well; before they reached their destination, they ran into an army patrol. The result was devastating as well, one of his friends was dead, another one was gravely wounded and of course they hadn't brought any food for the tribes either…

Suddenly, a movement between the bushes made him sit straight and when a group of people emerged between the bushes, Dark Oak's eyes grew wide in surprise, only to be narrowed in anger immediately after he recognized his men who had brought a woman, even worse, a white woman with them! They knew the rule to never make prisoners… And where was the Cheyenne they had promised to bring here?

Michaela had noticed that Proud Stag, she had remembered his name, tensed up as they stepped into the clearing together. The disapproving look he received from the Indian, who seemed to be the leader of the group, could not be misinterpreted, her presence here was, friendly spoken, unwelcome. The anxiety she had been able to suppress until now threatened to flood her again. While she was left standing at the edge of the camp with one of the dog soldiers as her guard and the other Indians met their leader, Michaela tried to get her feelings under control. This wasn't the first time that she had to prove herself as the only woman between men and it wasn't the first time either that she had to work under miserable circumstances; but never before had she felt so much hostility. However, the sight of the small camp dismayed her deeply, the poverty her eyes met was almost unbearable. There were at least four seriously sick Indians, they lay outstretched near various small fires, obviously too sick to even sit up. Her impulse to instantly go to them was stopped by a firm grip on her arm from the dog soldier who watched her. Since she didn't want to cause even more trouble than her presence seemed to cause already, she complied and turned her attention towards the discussing group again.

Dark Oak had softened as he learned that no one knew that the white woman had gone with his men because that meant there wouldn't be any trouble for his group when she didn't return to the Cheyenne village. Actually, he was curious now, he had heard of Medicine Woman. Gesturing for her to come over to him, he watched her approaching.

Before she had started towards the warrior, Michaela had taken a deep breath and mustered her courage to meet Dark Oak. As she stood across him, straightened up and her chin raised, she didn't avoid his stare and tried to hide her anxiety as best she could. She was sure, if she showed any fear, she would be lost.

The Indian had to admit that he was impressed; he could feel the strong personality in the fragile body of the medicine woman. When she didn't avert her eyes, he decided to let her treat his men; afterwards he would think about how to get rid of her. With an almost imperceptible nod he gave his permission for her to look after his men.

Michaela was glad to escape the unsettling stare and immediately started to examine the sick on the ground. It didn't take her long to recognize the illness; she had seen it before when she had worked with her father at the army hospital. Her father… Feeling desperation rising inside of her, she quickly dismissed any personal thought again and directed her memory at the medical facts. There had been two young soldiers with the same symptoms: diarrhea, stomachache and high fever. It came out later that they had drunk untreated milk, they had been sick for just two days and actually, one of the Indians here seemed to improve already. The only thing that worried her was that the men were extremely dehydrated; she had to take care of that…

Straightening, she searched for Proud Stag, if she would be able to communicate at all, then only with his help since no one here seemed to speak English and she only knew some phrases in Cheyenne.

The young Indian willingly came to help her, he felt terrible that he had taken her out here. Dark Oak had made it clear that he was determined about getting rid of the doctor when they moved on; he had said they couldn't allow her to go back to Colorado Springs because she might betray the warriors whereabouts. His bad conscience made the Cheyenne watch the medicine woman carefully; he boiled the water she needed for the fever tea and when she treated the injured brave, he even defended her against his new chief who wanted to stop her when she used chloroform while she removed the bullet out of the hurt man's shoulder.

It was dark when Michaela was done with her work for the moment. Since the patient she had operated needed her the most, she decided to keep vigil right next to his weak body by the fire. Before she allowed herself to rest a little, she sorted her supplies that were left in her medical bag. When her fingers touched three little round subjects, she suddenly lost her composure. Taking in a choked breath, she lifted the leather string with Sully's beads and clutched it in her hand. Closing her eyes, she sent him a desperate and impassioned plea, "Sully, help me!"

Several miles away, Sully shot up from his bedroll. His heart raced when he frantically looked around, calling, "Michaela?"


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Now, that she allowed herself to thoroughly contemplate her situation for the first time, Michaela desperately tried to keep her composure. Although it seemed as if the dog soldiers' opinion about her presence had softened somewhat, she couldn't get rid of the feeling that they wouldn't allow her to return to Colorado Springs that easily. Not that she even knew how to get there… Suddenly, she remembered a conversation she had with Cloud Dancing once. It had astonished her that the Cheyenne let their horses just roam through the village and she had asked if they weren't afraid that the animals might escape. The medicine man had smiled and responded, "Even if they go away for a while, they always come back home. They know the way."  
Maybe her horse was able to help her… Michaela still held Sully's beads firmly clasped in her hand when she rose to her feet. She looked around to see if Bear was nearby. Thinking she might have spotted him, she took a couple of steps in his direction. She froze in her place though when a dark figure at the edge of the camp straightened up. Feeling a chill spreading from the end of her limbs towards her heart, Michaela pivoted around only to see another shadow rising. When the first man had frightened her, the second one watching her every move terrified her, he was the proof that she was a prisoner. Her legs grew weak when this realization hit her so she turned and resumed her place as the Indians lowered their bodies to the ground as well.  
Feeling the beads pressing against her palm, Michaela tried to seek comfort from them but failed miserably. She felt lonelier than she had ever before. The only experience that came close to this was the feeling when she had realized after her father's death that she would never see him again, never. Michaela swallowed hard and fought the tears that threatened to fall down.  
Her father… This time, she couldn't ban the thought of him from her mind. He had always been so proud of her; would he still be? He had been the only man in her life she was able to confide in… Although, she hadn't dared to tell him her innermost fears. After David's engagement, she had thought herself a complete failure but her father hadn't wanted to hear about that and so she had pushed her self-doubts into the back of her mind. Only when she met Sully had she started to allow herself to show that she felt weak sometimes. Sully… She choked and lifted her shoulders to take in a labored breath. Slowly, she opened her hand and looked down at his beads. It crossed her mind only now that they had never talked about them and he had never asked her to give them back… Only yesterday, he had said that he loved her but also that that wasn't enough… Once again, she hadn't been able to give a man what he needed and now she sat here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people who hated her for the fact that she was white. It was true, they had taken her medical help but that didn't mean they stopped looking at her as an enemy. Oh God, what would they do to her? Hannah would lose another mother and Sully would have to tell his daughter that she had two mas in Heaven now.  
Michaela bent her tear-stained face towards the sky. The sight her eyes met, took her breath away. There twinkled zillions of stars in the midnight blue and she felt as if she melted into the earth to become a part of it. Suddenly, she understood what Sam Lindsay had meant when she had told her, "On the top of the mountain it feels peaceful, exhilarating. Like you are insignificant and important all at the same time. As though you really belong to the earth..."  
Michaela fondly remembered the older woman who had promised to visit her before her next try to climb Pike's Peak. When the doctor had wanted to know why Sam wanted to do it on her own and if it wasn't far too dangerous, the answer had been, "When your mate's heart stops then that doesn't mean that you have to stop doing the things you loved to do together. About the danger, life isn't about living forever. It's about making the journey really count."  
Michaela let these words sink in and turned her gaze back to the fire. If this was really her last night on earth, were there things she regretted? Fingering the beads, she admitted that she wished she had known how it would have felt to share her life with Sully. If she would ever be able to see him again, she would tell him that she was ready and would wait for him as long as he needed to be sure himself. At that moment, she didn't care that it wasn't the woman's place to say such things; she just knew that this was what she needed to do for herself. With a new surge of confidence, Michaela unfolded the leather string and put it around her neck. She wouldn't hide her feelings any longer. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
The night had been a very long one. Michaela hadn't dared to fall asleep; partly because she still watched her patients and partly because she was afraid of what the Indians might do to her when she allowed herself to stop being careful. So she had only dozed from time to time, startled by every sound or movement close to her. In the morning, she felt terrible. Not only because of the lack of sleep, she was used to staying awake all night. But because she hadn't eaten anything since she had left the Cheyenne village. The only thing she had had was water from her canteen; the Indians hadn't offered any food to her. Michaela knew though that she had to keep her strength, no matter what Dark Oak had planned for her. She looked around for Proud Stag and detected him with two other Indians at their leader's place. She didn't call for him though because it looked as if there was a serious discussion afoot.  
She didn't know that she was the subject of it.

Dark Oak's mind was set; they would leave this place. Their three younger comrades were recovered enough to stand again and that meant they could ride. They would leave their injured friend behind though; when Lone Heart had come back two days before, he had said that he killed a soldier and was ready to die; everyone in the camp respected his wish. The only problem was the doctor. Although the Cheyenne in the group tried to reason that Medicine Woman wasn't an enemy and Black Kettle himself had given her the name, he wasn't convincing enough. The mention of the famous chief's name had made Dark Oak waver for a moment, but he ended the discussion with his decision that the white woman had to die. The only question was who would take care of it. Since none of his men volunteered for the task, the leader at last decided to do it himself.

Michaela had just finished examining the Indian she had operated on. He had lost a large amount of blood and his wound had already been infected when she had started to treat him. It looked as if she hadn't been successful in helping him and so her patient was in a very bad state. Would she be blamed if he didn't make it? Michaela was putting her stethoscope back into her medical bag when she noticed that the Indians around her focused their attention on a point behind her. Straightening, she turned around and saw Dark Oak, Proud Stag and another Indian approaching her. Their expressions were grim and again, Michaela detected compassion, this time combined with guilt, in the eyes of the Cheyenne.  
Fear gripped her heart and she felt the color draining from her face. When the leader shortly nodded at one of his men next to her, her instinct told her to run. She couldn't do it though because now her arms were roughly gripped and bent behind her back. For a moment, a sunbeam blinded her. When she could see again, it terrified her to recognize that the sunbeam had been reflected from the knife in Dark Oak's hand. Desperately she shook her head and she wasn't sure if she had thought the words, "Please, no!" or choked them out loud. She knew she shouldn't show any fear, but she didn't feel very brave at the moment. Her eyes widened in horror when the Indian was close enough to reach for her.  
In the middle of his movement, Dark Oak stopped. The white woman wore Indian beads, three of them! Three beads meant that someone protected her. Was it Black Kettle himself? Although the dog soldiers had left their tribes, that didn't mean that they had quit respecting their rules.  
Wondering why the leader didn't complete his task, the others followed his gaze and recognized what made him hesitate and Proud Stag saw a new chance to change Dark Oak's mind. Before he started his attempt he silently asked the spirits for help.  
Michaela barely dared to breathe. The knifepoint touched the skin of her neck and she feared that any tiny move would force it into her body. She had seen the Indian's look at Sully's beads; obviously they had a meaning she didn't know yet. Although she didn't understand one word, a glimmer of hope entered her mind when she saw the two Indians in front of her debating. She hadn't time enough to go back into her state of horror when suddenly Dark Oak turned his head sharply to face another Indian right behind her. She didn't even feel pain before she fell into blackness.  
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Snowbird looked worriedly down at Hannah who sat motionless by the fire. The little girl hadn't wanted to go to sleep last night and only after she had found a blue shawl on her mother's sleeping place, had she calmed down somewhat. Since then, she was wrapped in the cloth and she hadn't let her bunny out of her hand either. Making the girl eat had been a wasted effort until now, but the Indian woman was determined to succeed this time. She had brought a bowl with mash and carefully Snowbird crouched down, so as not to startle Sully's daughter. Stroking the blond locks, she asked quietly, "Hannah?"  
She waited until the blue eyes met hers. "You have to eat, Dr. Mike would want you to. She wants you to be strong."  
Hannah didn't avert her eyes and contemplated if she should tell her mother's friend what she had felt for a few hours. Last night, it just had been restlessness, but this morning fear had gripped her heart. Her stomach was tightened; even if she wanted to, she couldn't eat one bit. Helplessly, she tried to communicate through her gaze.  
The Indian woman nodded slowly, she understood the child's desperation. Hannah hadn't spoken one word since the moment she had tried to explain where her mother had gone. Snowbird was sure that something was wrong, otherwise the little girl wouldn't act that way; and that her friend was involved was for sure. Sully's daughter had frantically shaken her head when she had asked her to stay with Flying Sun for a while. If it wasn't impossible for such a young child to have such a strong negative feeling, Cloud Dancing's wife could have sworn that she had detected hate in the blue eyes. How she wished that the men would come back soon! But they didn't know that something had happened, most likely they were enjoying themselves…  
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It was almost noon when Sully at last couldn't take it any longer. Since he had woken up in the middle of the night he couldn't shake off the feeling of danger that still increased rather than dissipating. He jumped up from his place by the fire and ran his hand through his hair. "Cloud Dancing, I gotta go back."  
The medicine man regarded his brother thoughtfully. If his friend felt that way then there must be a reason, but he had to be sure. "Why?"  
Sully grew agitated; he shouldn't need to explain himself. He glared at the man he considered his brother and replied impatiently, "Maybe this time, the spirits have spoken to me!"  
When Cloud Dancing only frowned at him, Sully stopped pacing and he let out a long breath. "Sorry."  
The Indian gave him a simple nod and so he added. "Since I've heard Michaela last night I can't help it, I just feel I oughta be home…"  
Cloud Dancing, still sitting cross-legged by the fire, closed his eyes and let the situation sink in. They weren't done hunting yet, some traps they had set yesterday should be checked… On the other hand, if his brother had such a strong urge to return to the village then there must be a reason. When he at last looked up at Sully, he had made his decision. "We will go and only look after the traps on our way."  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
Snowbird's concern had grown over the day. Hannah still sat by the fire, wrapped in Dr. Mikes shawl, the bunny in her lap and the carved wolf family right next to her within reach. Her short arms embraced her legs and her little chin rested on her knees. She had only drunk some tea and didn't talk to anyone; even the other children hadn't succeeded in cheering her up. Some minutes ago, she had become more alert though. From time to time she lifted her head as if she listened to a sound in the distance and soon it became clear that she had actually heard something because Sully and Cloud Dancing could be seen now. They approached the village not as dignified as they usually did and as soon as Sully spotted his daughter crouched down by the fire, he even urged his horse into a gallop.

Hannah's heart thumped loudly in her ears, her pa was back! But would he listen to her? When they were out here, he acted almost as if he was a stranger and spent most of his time with the other men. When her ma had to work as the doctor, she was always just sent to the children. At home, her father would play with her, she was allowed to snuggle up with him and they had a lot of fun together. Would he listen to her when she told him that something had happened to her ma? Or would he just talk to the other adults? Anxiously, she watched him come closer and didn't dare to just run into his arms.  
Sully was alarmed- his daughter was wrapped in Michaela's blue shawl. She didn't budge but her eyes didn't let go of his. Sully jumped down from his horse next to Hannah and immediately crouched down to be on eyelevel with her. Tentatively, he reached out to touch her cheek and asked in a tender voice, "Hey, sweet girl, what's wrong?"  
That was all the little girl needed; she threw her arms around her father's neck and clung to him as if she would never let go again. Deep inside her fear was released and when it broke through the surface, uncontrollable sobs shook the little body and the long held back tears at last burst through the dam.  
Sully rose with his daughter in his arms and looked helplessly at Snowbird, "What happened? Where is Dr. Mike?"

Cloud Dancing acknowledged that this wasn't the usual greeting for a hunting party and so he unceremoniously joined the group. While the other Indians respectfully kept their distance, the medicine man looked questioningly at his wife as well. Snowbird swallowed hard and informed her husband in Cheyenne. Sully understood enough though and asked incredulously, "Michaela went into town and just left Hannah here?"  
He didn't believe that for even one second. "Where's Flying Sun? I wanna hear that myself…"  
Looking around, he searched for the woman he still called his friend and suddenly noticed that Hannah had stopped crying and tried to gain his attention by patting his shoulder. "What is it, sweet girl?"  
When his daughter replied, "She bad!" Sully was stunned. His daughter had never before used such words.

...  
An hour later, Sully knew that Flying Sun had lied to him. Although he had suspected it right from the start because of the many inconsistencies in her report, he had held a tiny hope that Michaela was in town. Of course she wasn't, as he knew now. Chris hadn't been at the reservation and was sure that there wasn't any emergency in town either. The only news in Colorado Springs was that the army was back chasing dog soldiers in the area. To Sully's astonishment, Hannah had instantly agreed to stay in town with Charlotte and Chris after she had made him promise to bring her ma home. Now, he was on his way back to his Indian family and his anger towards Flying Sun grew with every yard he covered.  
When he finally reached the village, he didn't slow down his horse until he reached her teepee. Finally there, he jumped down, threw the flap aside and stormed in. He didn't care that there were other people inside as well. He instantly grasped Flying Sun's arm, pulling her up from her sitting position next to the fire, to yell at her as he emphasized every single word, "Where – is – Michaela?"


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

When dusk approached, Lone Heart opened his eyes for the last time. He still lay on his back and so he let his gaze roam over the treetops and listened to the sounds of rustling leaves and occasional birdcalls. Slowly moving his head to the side, he tried to catch a glimpse of Mother Earth he would join very soon. When his gaze fell on a figure right next to him, he attempted to understand what his fading senses were seeing. A white woman… coppery hair… Medicine Woman! She had eased his pain… not that he was afraid of pain, still, it had felt good… He slowly drifted off but his eyes had noticed something that didn't let him go yet. Suddenly, he knew what it was: the doctor's face was covered with a dazzling white cloth! Lone Heart recognized the fabric; she had used it to make him sleep for the operation… Sleep… He was ready for his last one but before that, he still had a task to perform. He remembered that he had had to vomit after he woke up from the operation and if the same happened to her… It took every ounce of his remaining power to turn far enough so he could reach over the woman's body for her arm. He pulled at it until she at last lay on her side and the cloth dropped to the ground. Exhausted, Lone Heart let himself sink back and with great effort, he slid away from her a bit. When he thought he had given her enough space, he cast a last glance at her and took in every detail of her face. Watching the dark lashes lightly flutter against the white skin, he was satisfied. It wasn't her time yet, only his.

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The tribe was gathered around the central fireplace for a hearing. The five eldest, including Black Kettle, sat at one side of the fire with some men and the women standing behind them. They all were looking at Flying Sun and Sully who were standing next to each other, facing the crowd.

The Indian woman had just finished her story and Sully stared at her speechlessly; she actually had the nerve to stick to her stupid tale! Fifteen minutes ago, the women in the teepee had had to hold him back from doing something to their friend that he would regret later. Only Snowbird's reassurance that she too thought that something was wrong and that she would ask the elders for their help had made him release his grip on Flying Sun. Now, he waited impatiently for the Indians to recognize the lies and help him to find out Michaela's whereabouts. He had told the council that no one from Colorado Springs had called for Dr. Mike, that she would never have left the Indian village without telling Snowbird. And what was even more important, that Hannah had told him that her ma had said she would be right back with an injured Indian in need of her help. All he could do now was hope that the Indians believed him, a white man speaking for a white woman. He wished that he wouldn't have to remind them of all the things Michaela had done for the tribe…

While the elders debated, White Feather's mind raced. He didn't know what to do; on the one hand, he didn't want to fall out with Flying Sun. He had a crush on her for quite a while but of course she didn't consider him more than a friend because he was a few years younger than her. If he said what he had seen because he had secretly watched her, she would never talk to him again. On the other hand, he discerned the words "army" and "revenge" in the elders' discussion and he knew that the tribe was more important than his feelings for a woman. Before he could think twice, he pulled himself together and took one step forwards before he spoke, "She's lying."

Instantly, all heads turned in his direction. Seeing the astonished look on Flying Sun's face that quickly turned into a disgusted one, he blushed slightly and bowed his head.

Cloud Dancing rose from his sitting position and stepped towards the young man. Laying his hand reassuringly on his shoulder, he said, "Then tell us the truth."

Shyly, White Feather looked up at the medicine man, but when he saw him nodding encouragingly, he reported, "Flying Sun told Medicine Woman that a friend of hers was injured and needed the doctor's help. She said that he wasn't far away and that's why Dr. Mike only took her bag, but Flying Sun had already saddled the horse and brought it after her."

Suddenly, his courage left him. It only now occurred to him that the tribe might blame him as well because he had known the danger the doctor was in all the time and hadn't said one word.

Flying Sun silently asked the spirits to make White Feather stop his story here. Up to that point, she still could find explanations for her actions but if he revealed with whom she had sent the white woman away, everything would be lost. She stared at her friend in an effort to make him look at her and she actually succeeded. Seeing fear and guilt written on his face, she mutely promised him everything he wanted if he didn't tell the rest of what he knew. Her palms became sweaty and her heart began thumping with anxiety though as he abruptly broke their locked gazes and looked back at the medicine man.

White Feather had decided that only the truth would help him and so he admitted, "I saw that she had sent Dr. Mike with Proud Stag and his men. They forced her to go with them."

The crowd gasped at hearing the facts and Sully felt the color draining from his face. He needed only a few moments to fully digest that information. His voice cracked slightly when he turned to the woman who had brought him back into life and now might have shattered it again. Unbelievingly, he asked, "You made her go with dog soldiers?"

Since the truth was out anyway, Flying Sun didn't care what everyone would think of her when she hissed at him, "It is your own fault! I could have given you all you needed if you wanted to be a part of our family, but you thought you could teach an outsider our way of life! Well, now she will learn a lot…"

She couldn't finish her sentence because Sully gripped her shoulders, shook her violently and yelled at her, "You sent her with dog soldiers? Are ya crazy? They'll kill her!"

When Flying Sun only shrugged under his grip, Sully lost control and pushed her so hard that she fell to the ground. Before he could do something else, Black Kettle rose to his feet and raised his voice to be heard in the murmur that had set in after White Feather's testimony. "We will punish the woman who has put someone who always tried her best to help us in danger."

The others became quiet and listened to their chief as he directed his words at the woman who had failed her tribe, "You will set your lean-to apart from of the village. We will not talk to you. We will not look at you. The rest of the punishment will be decided when we know what has happened to Medicine Woman."

Sully had gotten a grip on himself again, he knew he had to think about the next steps. When Black Kettle turned to leave the meeting because he had said everything he could for now, Sully tried to get his attention again and shouted after him, "We have to find her, you've gotta help me!"

Cloud Dancing showed understanding for his brother whose look turned into a desperate one when the chief didn't react to his plea. In a quiet voice, the medicine man tried to reason with his friend. "We cannot do that."

"Why? Because she's white? She's…"

Cloud Dancing shook his head. "Since the army has come, we can not leave the reservation. If we do, we will start a war."

Watching Sully's desperation grow, the medicine man assured him, "We will do everything in our power to help you. But first, you must rest."

When his white brother started to protest, the Indian pointed out, "You will need your strength to find her. And it will be dark soon and you won't be able to see anything. You must sleep and I will try to find out in which direction you have to go."

After a moment of consideration, Sully gave in and conceded grudgingly, "All right."

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Michaela didn't know that it was almost midnight when she struggled her way back to consciousness. She couldn't think yet, she was just able to notice the moisture on her face and that she lay in an awkward position. She tried to move, but a sudden wave of nausea made her stop immediately. With the sickness, however, her memory slowly returned. She was in the camp of dog soldiers… must have fallen asleep… but she had to be careful… it was dangerous… dangerous. This word made her see the knife again and the horror she had felt was back and with it, the reflex to flee. She made another attempt to move and again, the sickness was overwhelming and this time, she had to vomit. After the attack was over, she felt exhausted beyond all measure and all she wanted to do was sleep again. Sleep was a very tempting word… But she couldn't dare, could she? Her body didn't wait for an answer and without noticing it, Michaela drifted off again.

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After Sully had fallen into a fitful sleep, Cloud Dancing had talked to some of his men and asked the spirits for help giving his brother at least the direction he had to take. When his friend woke up far before dawn, the medicine man first aided him in filling the saddlebags with things he might need and then to ready his horse. After that, he gave him his instructions. "Proud Stag is riding with Dark Oak's men. They used to have their camps in the northern hills. You will need several hours to get there. Then you will have to ask the spirits for their help again."

Sully nodded. There was still one question that lay heavily on his heart but he didn't dare to ask it. He didn't have to though, because his brother added, "She is alive, but you must hurry."

As soon as there was enough light for him to make out the way, Sully set off on his journey to save the woman he would never let go of again.

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When Michaela woke up the next time, it was bright but raining. It must have been raining for a while because the first thing she noticed before she even opened her eyes was that her hair was all wet and clung to her cheeks and brow. Carefully, she lifted her hand to brush it out of her face and then she forced her eyelids apart. When she at last succeeded, she looked straight into the eyes of a dead Indian. Startled and puzzled, she attempted to remember what had happened. When it suddenly came back to her, she froze. Carefully she listened to see if the dog soldiers were still there, but all she heard was the sound of water drops that hit the leaves and then dropped to the ground.

Michaela sighed in relief, she was alone. Cautiously, she tried to sit up but a sharp pain in her head stopped her. She carefully palpated her skull until her fingers met a quite large bump near her right ear. Did she have a concussion? There was no way for her to know right now and so she decided to test what she was able to do. Again, she made an effort to pull herself up into a sitting position. This time, she made it, though she had to wait a moment until the dizziness was gone. Looking around, she saw that the camp was abandoned; the dead dog soldier next to her was her only companion. When she noticed the white cloth on the ground, she put two and two together and knew that the Indians had not only knocked her down but anaesthetized her as well. She hoped that it was that that had caused the nausea she felt returning right now.

Still sitting on the ground, Michaela considered her situation. She was alone, in the middle of nowhere and had no idea how to get back home. Her leather coat was heavily soaked with rain but thankfully the clothes she wore under it were still dry. Well, almost dry because the edge of her skirt was drenched, too. And her feet were cold and felt numb… Michaela gasped when she saw that the Indians had taken her shoes away. There could be only one reason why they had done that because no one of them could wear her small shoes: they wanted to slow her down, that's why they had given her the chloroform, too. That could only mean that she wasn't too far away from civilization. Hope entered her heart but was immediately dashed again when she tried to get up into a standing position. The dizziness became overwhelming again and the more alert she became the more she was freezing. Of course, the Indians hadn't left a fire for her and she had no idea how to create one herself. She wished Sully had shown her…

As soon as his name entered her mind, the relative coolness, which had allowed her to think fairly reasonably until now, left her. Michaela couldn't suppress the panic she felt raising inside of her. She heard her blood rushing in her ears and her heart jumped in an unsteady rhythm. Cold sweat covered her forehead and all she could think was, "I will never see him again… I will die here… I will die here all alone and no one will even know…"

She had crouched down again and embraced her knees so tightly that she felt something hard pressing against her left breast. It hurt and the pain caused her to look down to find out what it was. Seeing the three beads brought her instantly back to her senses. Letting out a sharp breath, Michaela tried to compose herself, "Calm… I have to be calm…!

After a few minutes, she was ready to contemplate how to go on from here. She had been in such a situation before, not life threatening but hopeless as well. But she had made it, she had become a doctor and she would make it this time, too.

One thing she knew was that if she didn't find anything to eat, she would at least need water. She looked around for her canteen – nothing; the dog soldiers had only left behind her medical bag. Maybe she should be thankful that it was still raining, puddles were everywhere at the moment. Next, she considered the dead Indian but there was nothing she could do for him, not even cover his body. She knew that she had to use her strength, or rather what was left of it, sparingly and shouldn't waste it on non-essential actions.

Taking in her surroundings again, Michaela tried to remember from which direction they had entered the camp. Recognizing the spot, she decided to start her journey back home immediately. She felt better by now which meant that her nausea hadn't been caused by the hit on her head but by the chloroform. Soon, its impact would be gone completely and she didn't want to stay any moment longer in this place. She struggled again to rise from the ground and when she at last stood straight, she took a deep, clearing breath. She would make it.

Michaela forbade herself to think about how she felt, what she wanted and whom she needed. Her thoughts were only directed towards the way, which had to lead downwards, and to water; the water she needed to drink and the creek she remembered they had crossed on their way to the camp.

When she started to walk, she noticed every twig, every stone beneath her feet, but after the minutes had turned into hours and then even into a whole day, she didn't care anymore. She couldn't tell if the rain or her sweat drenched her clothes, and she didn't care about that either. The night started out difficult, and there was no dry spot anywhere for her to rest on as it still rained.Finally, Michaela detected a rock formation that formed something akin a cave and she immediately decided to stay there. Exhaustion was a mild version of the word that could describe the state she was in and as soon as she had covered her body with her heavy and water soaked leather coat, she fell into a sleep that was similar to unconsciousness.

When morning approached, she woke up, shivering with cold. She knew she was fooling herself when she thought she would warm up as soon as she walked again but she hoped she would nevertheless. When she got up from the ground, her every muscle protested but she didn't waste any thought on it. Ignoring her feet wasn't as easy; she sucked in a sharp breath when she tried her first steps. Looking around, she saw that the path still led downwards and so she followed it again. Three hours later she noticed though that she had already been in that exact spot yesterday. She recognized the tree that seemed to grow between two rocks; she had rested there the day before… For a moment, fear threatened to grip her heart again but she immediately caught herself. She would get home somehow… Pivoting, she took a different path, maintaining her course downwards.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

It was his second day searching for Michaela and there was still no sign of her or any dog soldiers. Sully didn't want to admit it, but he was close to despair. He had reached the area of the northern hills yesterday afternoon and decided to follow the creek. He knew that the Indians would build their camp close to the stream and so he started to follow it and as soon as there was a natural or a game path, he ventured onto it to see if it would lead to a camp. When he was sure that he had only found another dead end, he returned to the water and went further up the stream until he encountered the next path…

In the evening, the bank became rockier and Sully decided to leave Wolf and his horse behind. Only an hour later he found a cave fifty yards above the creek. Since it was almost dark and the moon couldn't shine through the thick clouds, he made his camp for the night there.

In the morning, Sully had resumed his search and it was afternoon, when he had reached a little plateau above the river. He stepped over a rivulet and carefully looked around, a little out of breath from his climbing.

Michaela had tears of joy in her eyes; she had finally found the creek! Exhausted, she sat down on a rock, her shoulders and head hanging down in exhaustion. Soon, she slowly lifted her head again though, had she heard something?

Sully had stopped walking; he straightened, still looking around before he closed his eyes and with lightly opened arms, he turned his outstretched palms as if he wanted to sense the tiniest movement of the air around him that might give him a sign of _her_.

While Michaela became even more alert, Sully went down on his knees. With closed eyes he tried to center himself and listened with every fiber of his being. With his mind imploring, "Michaela, give me a sign, please!" he concentrated more than he ever had before in his life.

Michaela was now sure that she had heard something. Or was she imagining things? That couldn't be… but... he was surely searching for her! Suddenly her heart started to race and she jumped up. "Sully!" Her voice vanished between the trees. She had to go to him! In her desperate excitement, Michaela didn't look where she was running and tripped over a rock she hadn't seen. Losing her balance, she fell down a slope and the last she felt was another sharp pain in her head and the freezing temperature of the water she was sliding into.

Sully snapped out of his state of concentration. He could swear that he had heard not only a faint cry but the splash of water a ways down the creek, a sound that no animal would ever create and so he just knew it, Michaela was down there! He wished he still had Wolf by his side; he could have sent him on ahead to tell her that he was close. These were fruitless thoughts though and so he just climbed down to the edge of the creek as fast as he could and when he reached it, he ran with all his might until he finally saw her.

He stopped for a split second in horror; Michaela lay motionless with her upper body on the bank of the small stream. The rest of her was in the water and if he didn't hurry, the current might carry her away.

Not wasting another second, he rushed towards her and pulled her out of the creek. She didn't move and Sully went down on his knees next to her. His hand shook when he reached out to brush the hair out of her face and his heart skipped a beat when her eyes fluttered open.

Michaela didn't know if she was dreaming, but looking straight into the blue eyes of the man she loved made her smile. "Sully…" she breathed before she was engulfed by blackness once again.

Sully wasn't ashamed of the tears he felt on his cheeks. "Michaela!" he whispered back and pressed his warm lips on her cold brow, lingering there for several moments.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Hank was fuming. One of his girls felt poorly and couldn't work but the darned lady doctor was nowhere to be seen. He could live with her not being there on the weekend; it was good to get a break from having her proper ways around at least one time a week, but today was Tuesday and still no sign of her! Where the heck was she? Sully hadn't been here the last two days either, only his daughter was in town. The barkeeper smirked when he thought about what that fact might imply… But this was still no reason to abandon her duty as a doctor!

In the afternoon, the saloon owner had worked himself up into such a state of anger that he had only one thought left: this town needed a real doctor, a man one could rely on! Tossing his cigar aside, he stepped down from his porch and headed towards the barbershop to talk to Jake as the mayor of the town. Hank changed his direction though when he spotted Widow Cooper with her daughter and Hannah entering the mercantile.

Charlotte had just reached the counter as Hank stormed in and harshly demanded to know, "Where the hell is the doc when I need her…" He stopped his yelling when he noticed that he had startled the little girl.

"No need to be rude, Hank." Charlotte tried to calm him down. She had to think quickly, one wrong word would make the situation even worse. However, she wasn't fast enough because now Amanda, who had chatted with Dorothy in the background, stepped to the group and chimed in in an attempt to be helpful, "If you need the doctor, Mr. Lawson, Chris can ride out to the reservation and tell her…"

Charlotte gasped; those had been the wrong words for sure. Only she and the teacher knew that something was wrong out there and Sully had asked them to keep it a secret. If the townsfolk would learn that Dr. Mike disappeared while she was with the Indians… No one would be helped if the army would get involved. Hastily, she tried to ease the sudden tension in the room and cast Amanda a look so as if to tell her to not say another word, and then she suggested, "Maybe I can take a look at your girl."

But the barkeeper didn't even listen to her. He was out of control again and raised his voice, "She's with the Injuns? She's been hired for the town! We need a doc here! We oughta look out for a new one!"

All the time since the reporter from the Denver Post had lectured her, Dorothy had tried to hold back with her opinion; she had to learn to remain neutral. But hearing that Dr. Quinn forgot her fellow citizens and rather took care of some savages, made her really disgusted. Seeing Loren's granddaughter hidden behind the midwife and knowing that the child had been abandoned once again, she made up her mind and joined the group. "I absolutely agree, Mr. Lawson. I will write an advertisement and send it to the big newspapers around and we will have a responsible-minded doctor here in no time."

Charlotte gasped; she had to prevent Dorothy from doing that. Feeling the startled looks from her daughter and even Amanda, she reminded the red-haired woman, "That's not your business, the town council…"

But Hank was glad that there was at least one reasonable woman, although in his opinion, those two words couldn't belong together; and he cut the midwife off. "The rev isn't in town and Jake's with me for sure so ya can take the issue as closed."

Satisfied, Dorothy went back to her desk to start her work. Charlotte exchanged concerned looks with Amanda and Colleen before she bent down to pick up Hannah. To her astonishment, Sully's daughter had calmed down a little before they had left to go to the mercantile. Normally, the girl avoided accompanying them to the store but this time, she hadn't minded. And it seemed that Hank's yelling hadn't impressed her too much either. Slightly puzzled, Charlotte looked into the shining blue eyes of the little girl in her arms and asked her, "Are you all right?"

Hannah nodded and bent towards her big friend's ear, whispering, "Pa found Ma."

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Sully still knelt next to Michaela. She didn't move, was soaked to the bones and awfully pale. With his heart racing, he tried to consider what to do first. Was she hurt and he made it worse when he moved her? He had to get her out of those wet clothes! Could he dare to make a fire or were the dog soldiers searching for her? Supporting himself with his hands on the rough ground, he was on all fours now. He hung his head and took several deep breaths. He knew he had to calm down; Michaela's life depended on him making the right choices.

When he was finally able to think more clearly again, Sully carefully edged closer to her body that lay alarmingly still. Tentatively, he cupped her cheek in his hand. It was as cold as if… he instantly forbade himself this thought and brought his ear near her mouth. This way, his hair tickled her nose and unconsciously, Michaela made a tiny movement under his hand.

Sully's heart skipped a beat, she was alive! Carefully stroking her cheek with his thumb while his palm slowly warmed her skin, he whispered, "Michaela! Michaela, can you hear me?"

Deep inside, Michaela knew that she wasn't alone anymore. She felt warm comfort seeping through the skin on her face; she only wished to feel the sensation on both her cheeks. Did she even hear a voice? Struggling against a tiredness she had never known before, she forced her lids open. Looking straight into blue eyes only inches away from hers, she hoped that she wasn't dreaming. If Sully was here… She was safe! Relieved, she let herself be embraced by darkness again.

"Michaela!" Desperately, Sully tried to make her talk to him but it was fruitless. Seeing her lying motionless again, he made up his mind and scooped her up in his arms without another moment's hesitation. He would carry her to the cave where he had spent the last night. Since he just had to follow the bank of the creek now, it shouldn't take him too long.

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Almost two hours later, Sully arrived with his precious burden at the cave. It wasn't easy to take her up there because most of the time, her body lay limp in his arms. He was glad that he had taken the time yesterday to cover the area where he had slept with pine branches. Carefully, he now placed Michaela there and sat down next to her. Actually, taking a rest sounded tempting but he knew he couldn't afford that yet; first, he had to get Michaela out of her soaked clothes. He needed her permission though and so he bent over her and tenderly stroked the side of her face with the back of his fingers, "Michaela…" No reaction. He tried it again, a little louder this time, "Michaela!"

All he gained was a low moan. All right, then he would just do it. He would take it as if he were the doctor and just did his job. Sully was sure that Michaela knew he had no other choice and if she got angry with him nevertheless… Well, he would survive it.

First, he removed her water drenched leather coat. It would take days until it was dry again. Next, he started to undo the buttons of her blouse. _A task. See it as a task._ Taking a deep breath, Sully continued more confidentially now. He owed it to her to take care of her the best way he could. He avoided looking at her camisole when he finally had slipped off her blouse, but he couldn't help but notice how awfully thin her arms were. He swallowed hard, as soon as he was done here, he had to find something for her to eat.

The next piece he had to remove from her body was the skirt and her petticoats. This went easier than he had feared although he was startled when his gaze fell on her legs which were only clad with her bloomers now. Seeing the scratches and bruises, his heart nearly broke. He didn't dare to think what the dog soldiers might have done to her and he knew he had to ask her about that later. When he realized that they had taken her shoes away to force her to walk barefooted on the rough ground, he knew he would feel guilty all his life. One of the Indians who had done that to her had been his friend! However, the next thought hurt even more: a woman he had also called his friend was responsible that Michaela had been put into this situation at all… Gazing down at her defenseless looking body, the urge to protect her overwhelmed him and with a swift movement, he pulled his shirt over his head and tenderly covered her fragile figure with it.

Half an hour later, Sully, only clad in his buckskins, stood guard at the edge of the small plateau. Watchfully, he looked around for signs between the trees that might announce danger. He strained his ears to detect any sound that didn't belong to the nature's song. Now, that he had finally found her, he wouldn't allow anything or anyone to take her away from him again.

At the moment, Michaela still slept on the pine branches. Her clothes were spread out on the ground, and he hoped that the occasionally shining sun of the dwindling day was strong enough to dry them. He hadn't made a fire yet since he still didn't know if the dog soldiers were searching for Michaela. He hoped she would wake up soon; he wanted to take her home as quickly as possible… Consumed by his thoughts, he hadn't seen yet that his shirt no longer protected her; it had slipped down from her body a few moments ago.

When Michaela opened her eyes, she was disoriented for a moment. First, she noticed her bare arms and then the branches she lay on. Why was she half naked? And she was sure that the dog soldiers wouldn't care if she were comfortable while she was sleeping… Then she remembered his blue eyes… "Sully?" she called questioningly, feeling fear gripping her heart once again; had she only imagined him being there?

Turning towards her voice, Sully assured her as if it was the most normal thing in the world, "I'm here."

Michaela watched how he closed the distance between them with a few long strides. When he reached the edge of the cave she stretched out her arm, reaching for him as if she were drowning. She needed to feel him to be sure he was real and not just a dream.

Sully took her hand and didn't let go of it while he was sitting down next to her, promising, "We're safe." How he wished he were right! Feeling her small hand in his large one brought all his emotions back with full force. However, he had to be strong…

When Michaela lifted her free hand to touch his hair and shyly stroked the side of his face, Sully wanted to pull her into his arms but he didn't do it. He didn't want to scare her with his overpowering feelings. He didn't know if he would hurt her if he took her into his arms the way he wanted to. And there was still the one question he didn't dare to ask yet. That's why he rather avoided her look by bending his head and just pressed his lips onto her knuckles. He closed his eyes and wished he could turn back time and undo all the terrible things she had been through the last few days and even more, he wished he could take back all the hurtful things he had said to her.

When he lingered with his soft lips on her scratched skin and still averted his eyes, Michaela didn't know what to think of it. Was he mad at her? Had she disappointed him because she wasn't able to survive in the woods on her own? Was he convinced now that he would never be ready for being with her? Feeling his warmth on the back of her hand, she wanted to cry but she didn't want him to think she was weak.  
When Sully at last lifted his head, he reiterated, "We're safe," as if that was the only thing that mattered.

Michaela took her fingers from his face and absent-mindedly caressed his hand that was still holding hers. Her heart stumbled; she wanted to be in his arms so badly, but his unsteady gaze just flew over her face, never really meeting her eyes until he eventually let go of her hand and slightly turned away. At this point, Michaela resigned and gave up all her hopes. He wasn't interested in her anymore; he had just searched for her how he would have searched for any other person that was lost. Helping people in need was his nature and had nothing to do with her.

Sully reached over her body to pick up a large piece of bark with carefully arranged food on it. "I found some berries and a honey comb while you were sleeping."

After putting the food in her hands, Sully looked up at the sky and judging the sun's position he added, "It's goin' to be dark soon. We'll go then and be back in Colorado Springs sometime tomorrow."

He was looking back at her now and while he was waiting for her reaction, he stroked her lower leg. Both were caught in their own fears so neither of them even noticed his action.

Michaela was near desperation, she had to disappoint him again, "I can't walk."

Seeing her dejected expression, Sully's heart once again broke for her and he instantly assured, "Then I'll carry you."

He lightly slid forward so he could pick up one of her injured feet. He reached for a piece of clothing next to him without even caring what it was; all he wanted was to ease her pain. He started to tenderly clean the wounds but when he touched an extra sore spot, Michaela sucked in a sharp breath while Sully grimaced simultaneously. The last thing he wanted was to cause her even more pain. Continuing his gentle cleaning he knew, he couldn't avoid the one topic any longer. He didn't know what he would do if they actually had forced her to… Sully barely dared to finish that thought but he had to know it. Still looking down on her foot, he took one deep breath to calm down his heart that raced in fear. Without really exhaling the last breath, he took in a second one to be able to choke the question out, "Did they hurt you?"

Michaela's head ached, she felt a new chill claiming her body as she still tried to push her feelings for Sully away. However, hearing his question, she was astonished for a split second: he still cared! Sully turned his head to hear her answer, but he still refused to meet her eyes. Aware of the meaning of his words, Michaela assured him, "No."

This was not the answer Sully had expected. He quickly turned and for the first time since she had woken up, he fully looked at her. Her expression told him that they both knew what they were talking about.

Sully's heartbeat quickened again, this time with joy. They hadn't hurt her in the worst way he could think possible of! His face lit up and the blue in his eyes brightened. Pointing with his head at the food he suggested, "Why don't you try and eat something?"

From now on, his gaze never left her face again. He watched her bowing her head and placing her fingers into the honey. This was the first food she had since Sunday. Michaela knew that she wouldn't be able to hold back her tears much longer. She had promised herself to tell Sully how she felt about him but he had acted as if he was just helping a friend. What should she do? Bringing the moisture to her lips, Michaela momentarily let her eyelids drop to revel in the sweet taste. It was just honey but it felt like Heaven…

When she opened her eyes again, they brimmed with tears. Meeting Sully's gaze, the first tear started its way down her cheek. Michaela wanted to be in his arms so badly that she could barely breathe. She didn't dare to ask though because she knew that she wouldn't be able to take his rejection right now. She only allowed herself a silent plea, desperately hoping for the last time he still cared enough to hear her.

Sully couldn't take it any longer. Seeing the tears and feeling her sadness, he finally gave in to his own desire. He wanted to reassure her that she would never be alone again and bent towards her until he was close enough to envelope her lips with his mouth. Lingering on her soft skin, his tongue caressed her lips, telling her how much he loved her and when he lightly lifted his head to come up for some air, Michaela's tongue darted out to touch his lips as if to beg him not to leave her yet.

As they locked their gazes afterwards, she recognized nothing but pure love in his eyes and so she finally dared to give her need a voice, "Hold me."

Without any hesitation, Sully pulled her into his arms and she was already secure in his embrace when she reiterated, "Hold me."

They clung together, overwhelmed by their emotions but at the same time calming down. They finally were where they belonged and they both knew it. Sully gently rocked them and when he felt her lips on the skin of his chest, gentle like the touch of a butterfly's wing, he ran his hand down her back, feeling her soft hair caressing his arm. It seemed as if he didn't have his heartbeat under control anymore because his blood rushed through his veins again. Suddenly, he became aware that they both were only half clad and her closeness awakened something deep within him he had almost forgotten. His skin grew hot, recognizing the desire and Sully knew he had to let go of her.

However, he couldn't resist nuzzling his face into her hair for a last time and pulling her impossibly closer.

It was then that he noticed that she was burning as well. When the realization hit him that she obviously had a high fever, Sully laid his hand on her shoulders and gently held her away from his body. Whatever happened, he needed to know if the renegades were looking for them.

With his fingertips, he carefully turned her head so he could look into her eyes. "Michaela, what about the dog soldiers, are we on the run?"

Michaela was lost in his eyes again. She couldn't believe it; she actually was in his arms! The last few days began to blur into an event of constant pain, tiredness and freezing. Since the moment she had felt his warm body shielding her from whatever might come from the outside, she had dropped her guard. Was she on the run? Not anymore. She smiled and slowly shook her head. This movement brought the pain back though and the tiredness returned as well… Why was it so cold again? She needed a fire… make some tea… and then she remembered. Her eyes filled with tears when she admitted, "I don't know how."

Sully had watched the changes on her face with growing concern. He gently guided her down on the branches and asked worriedly, "Don't know what?"

He had to strain to discern the words when her voice faded, "Fire. Don't know how… to make it. I'm sorry…"

Sully hadn't known yet that he could feel even guiltier as he already did. Michaela tried so hard to fit into a world that had been a complete new one to her and he had never cared to show her such essential things as building a fire; he had spent his time keeping promises he had given to others, teaching them instead of her…

Although he could tell that she wasn't able to hear him at the moment, he vowed to her, "I'll make it up to you, I promise, Michaela. I promise."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Sully had already made up his mind; he knew Michaela needed help and that's why he would take her to Cloud Dancing and not into town. He just had to decide whether they should start their journey right away or wait until morning. He was still kneeling next to her, bent over her feverish body and while his mind was working, his gaze roamed over her face. Fine beads of perspiration covered her brow, the dark lashes fluttered unsteadily and her lips were lightly parted. From time to time, a tiny wheeze accompanied her breathing and Sully couldn't help but look down at her heaving chest. It was then that he saw something tucked under her camisole. He wondered why he hadn't noticed the fine leather string around her neck before and was momentarily distracted from his worried thoughts.

Curiosity and excitement got the better of him; did she still have…? He had to know and after glancing at her sleeping face once more, he carefully pulled the item out of her camisole. His eyes filled with tears again, she still cherished his beads!

Suddenly, Michaela struggled for air and Sully was thrown back into reality. He instantly moved to sit behind her, cautiously pulling her into a sitting position so that her back leaned against his chest. As a coughing fit racked her body, Sully held her comfortingly tight, whispering words of reassurance in her ear, until the episode subsided. If it was possible, his concern grew; he could do nothing for her at this place, not even make some tea. He had left his canteen back with his horse since he had known that he was going to follow the creek and that water would be in reach all the time.

With Michaela still securely held in his arms, Sully bent forward slightly to judge the sky again. The colors were already fading, but between the greenish-blue and yellow stripes that seemed to be painted with a rough brush between a few remaining clouds, there was no trace of red. Relieved, Sully sighed silently; it wouldn't rain tonight. Next, he had to think about the practical things. Michaela's clothes were still damp, she couldn't wear them and therefore, they were useless at the moment. If she wanted them back later, he would come here again. For now, his shirt had to do and so he tenderly laid her down onto the branches again and reached for his blue and white striped shirt.

As soon as her head touched the soft ground, Michaela woke up. The first thing her eyes met was the green of the pine needles and she experienced the strong feeling of a dé jà vu: She had been here before… Sully had been there with her… She struggled to sit up while she asked in a hoarse tone, "Sully?" desperately hoping that she wasn't caught in another nightmare and that he would answer.

Sully instantly turned back and replied the same way as he had earlier, assuring her, "I'm here," and pulled her back against his chest.

Michaela relaxed in his embrace, _Thank God, it wasn't just a dream!_ For a few moments, her senses were clear and she looked down on his strong arms that held her protectively. She gave in to the urge to touch him and pulled her right arm from beneath his and laid it on top of his tanned one. She had never thought that the skin of such a strong man could be so smooth. Absent-mindedly, she ran her fingers over the fine curled hair that covered his lower arm and she marveled at its softness. While she reveled in the feeling of having him so close, a deep blush made her cheeks grow even hotter as she noticed that she could even smell him. However, she didn't move away because all the sensations together made her feel as if she were at the place where she belonged. Only when she felt his strong and quick heartbeat against her back, did she become aware that she was just clad in her underwear and that Sully's upper body was obviously naked. Growing extremely embarrassed, she tried to wriggle out of his embrace but it was as if Sully had read her thoughts.

"Shh, it's alright," he tried to sooth her. "Your clothes are all wet and ya couldn't keep them on."

Sully felt how Michaela calmed down a little. Though he struggled with his own emotion, Sully knew he had to act quickly since she could fall asleep again any moment. "I wantcha to put on my shirt until we are at the place where I left my horse. There I can wrap ya in a blanket," he whispered near her ear.

Michaela wearily nodded. She felt cold again and a warm shirt sounded tempting. Relieved, Sully sprang into action. He would have loved to hold her longer, but of course he knew it wasn't the time for that right now.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Once they were down at the creek, Sully made sure that Michaela drank some water and as soon as they reached his horse, he wrapped her shirt-clad body into a blanket.

Slipping in and out of consciousness, Michaela only knew that she was safe and so she didn't care if they rested or moved, if she slept or was awake. The only thing she cared about was to call for Sully as soon as she didn't feel his arms around her. Actually it was this fact that told him that Michaela's condition grew worse and that they had to ride to the reservation as quickly as possible.

They rode all night, with Wolf at their heels. Every so often they took a break and Sully made sure that Michaela drank water when they paused. Most of the time, her body was limp in his arms, occasionally shaking with coughing fits, and so his back ached from the unusual way he had to hold her while they rode. He didn't pay attention to his discomfort though, all he wanted was to make headway so that Michaela could get the help she needed.

When dawn approached, they reached the reservation. The Indian village was still sleeping, only two young men, who were keeping guard, stepped out from behind the trees at the edge of the camp as soon as they recognized the rider.

Sully didn't slow down his horse though; he rode straight on towards Cloud Dancing's teepee. He didn't have to call for his brother; as soon as he reached the medicine man's tent, the Indian opened the flap from the inside and emerged.

"You have found her," Cloud Dancing stated the obvious.

Sully didn't waste any moment with chitchat but demanded, "Ya gotta help her! She has a fever and a terrible cough."

Cloud Dancing nodded and reached out to take Dr. Mike's body from Sully's arms. Both men tried to be as gentle as possible so as to not make her feel even more uncomfortable. With Michaela in his arms, the medicine man turned to take her inside of his teepee. Feeling the light shake of her body, he knew he had to hurry.

In the meantime, Snowbird had been woken up as well and listened to the short requests her husband made in Cheyenne. As soon as she knew what to do, she organized help for her friend. They needed dry clothes for Dr. Mike after she had been washed, and a fever tea had to be brewed. Outside, the men would prepare the medicine wheel. While the medicine man's wife carefully undressed the white woman and cleaned her scratches with a soft piece of leather, she reproached herself about not being insistent enough on getting the truth out of Flying Sun. If she had been, she could have sent some men after the dog soldiers to prevent them from taking Dr. Mike with them… Snowbird took a deep breath, she knew that those thoughts were fruitless and that's why she rather directed her attention fully at the task before her.

Michaela was caught in her own world of freezing and burning, hurting and sleeping. When she opened her eyes from time to time, she didn't recognize her surroundings clearly, it seemed though she was back with the Indians - but hadn't Sully been with her? Maybe he had been a dream and so she closed her eyes again to go back to that dream… back to him…

Michaela didn't notice that a few hours later, she was placed into the center of a circle made out of stones. She neither heard the medicine man chanting nor saw him throwing a tobacco offering on the coals in the crackling fire nearby. Only when she was forced to drink a bitter tasting tea from time to time, her eyes shot open to meet the soothing blue ones of the man she needed at her side.

Sully left his place next to Michaela only one time to fetch fresh brewed tea from Snowbird and Michaela chose exact that moment to become a little more alert. Opening her eyes, she looked around and her gaze fell onto a nearby teepee. In her delirious state she couldn't realize that the tent didn't mean danger because the dog soldiers didn't even have one; her semi-conscious mind only told her that there were Indians. Cloud Dancing watched her carefully, he wasn't sure if his ceremony worked and seeing her terrified look when she stared at the tent, he knew he couldn't help her. His heart saddened; he only hoped that he hadn't judged her wrong and that she would be strong enough to forgive the men and the woman who had put her through her ordeal.

When Sully came back and sat down again, the medicine man tossed herbs into the fire, sending up a shaft of colored smoke for the last time. Then he rose to his feet and just walked off a ways. Sully was puzzled and grew anxious. Straightening as well, he followed his friend and grasped his arm to hold him back. "How is she?"

Cloud Dancing contemplated what to say and responded at last, "She fights hard."

Sully's heart started to panic. "Will she live?"

The medicine man looked back at the small figure in the center of the circle, lying on a buffalo hide. All he knew was that it wasn't in his hands anymore; maybe love was the last option… His tone was grave when he spoke again, "That's up to you."

Sully didn't want to believe it, his brother was just giving up? He tightened his grip on the Indian's arm and demanded, "You gotta help her!"

Cloud Dancing didn't meet his friend's eyes as he advised, "You must take her into town."

"But there is no doctor!" Sully instantly protested.

"There is her family," the wise man replied.

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Loren would never admit it, but he was deeply concerned. On top of the fact that Dr. Mike had abandoned her clinic, she had left Hannah alone for several days now. As far as he knew, she wouldn't do those things unless something had happened to her. Why had she to go out to the reservation at all! He had known it right from the start that it wasn't a good idea to get involved with the Indians, but that woman was so stubborn and never listened to well-meant advices. Those people were savages, who knows what they had done to her… Of course there was a little hope, it looked as if Sully was with her, he hadn't been seen in town lately either. Although, that wasn't a guarantee, his former son-in-law still vanished quite often…

His train of thoughts was interrupted when he felt a little hand tugging at his sleeve. Loren looked down at his granddaughter who sat next to him on the bench under the oak in the graveyard. Seeing the anxious pale face, the old man's heart immediately melted. Charlotte had asked him to look after her since she had to take care of a young woman in labor and Colleen was still at school. Although the reason that he watched her was a distressing one, he was glad to spend some time with the little girl. Since Dorothy's arrival, those occasions had become less frequent. If only he could bring his sister-in-law to her senses…

Hannah felt that she had lost her grandpa's attention again. However, he was the only one she could ask for a shoulder to cry on right now and so she at last crawled on his lap and tried to make herself comfortable in his arms. Although a huge relief had flooded her body when she had sensed that her pa had found her ma, the little girl felt a frightening feeling growing inside of her since yesterday. Something wasn't right; she wanted her ma… Leaning her head against her grandpa's chest, Hannah tried to seek comfort out of his closeness and sighed heavily when she couldn't hold back her tears any longer.

The soft crying of his little girl brought Loren back to reality. He knew that he couldn't just sit here any longer without doing anything; he would talk to Hank and Jake about a search party and maybe even ask Sergeant McKay, who still camped with his men on the meadow behind the church. Just when he had made up his mind to go for help, Hannah suddenly straightened in his arms. Startled, he looked down at her and asked puzzled, "What is it?"

Hannah didn't respond but searched the road that led into the woods with her eyes. She was sure that she had heard something and when a rider emerged between the trees, she excitedly pointed at him and called out, "Pa!"

Loren squinted his eyes in an effort to recognize what his granddaughter saw, and since the rider came closer in full speed, the old man quickly was able to acknowledge that it was actually Sully. There was no holding Hannah back anymore; she jumped down to the ground and ran towards her pa. The girl abruptly stopped in her tracks though when she saw her ma. Her mother's body lay limp in her pa's arms and she had her eyes closed. The little heart started to pound wildly with fear, but at the same moment hope entered it. Her ma was at home and Hannah just knew that everything would be well again.

Business was still slow and so Hank sat on a chair on his porch, bent back to savor the sun on his face. Hearing a rider approaching in full speed, he lazily opened one eye to see if it was worth it to look at the commotion. Recognizing that it was Sully who had just arrived in front of the clinic, the barkeeper was instantly fully awake and jumped up to go over there. He didn't believe his eyes, for a moment he thought that an Indian woman, clad with a typical Indian dress, lay in Sully's arms, but seeing the coppery hair, his initial astonishment about the situation was quickly replaced with renewed anger and he hissed, "Ya can take that squaw back to where ya came from, we're gonna hire a real doc for the town."

Sully had other things on his mind than arguing with the barkeeper right now and so he dismissed the sarcastic remark. Pointing at Michaela's limp body with his eyes, he only said, "Here, you gotta hold her. I need to unlock the door."

Without further ado, he put Michaela into Hank's arms and jumped down from his horse to open the clinic, and the saloon owner once again surprised himself. He had held that woman this way before and noticing her closed eyes, the feverish cheeks and her labored breathing, his heart once again went out to her. If the Indians were responsible for the state Michaela was in, he would make sure that they would pay for that.

The commotion in front of the clinic had instantly attracted the usual crowd and people gasped when they saw their doctor so sick. Many of them had been angry at her the last few days because of her absence, not that anyone of them had needed her help, but looking at her helpless body in Hank's arms made them secretly feel guilty for their harsh thoughts, and by the time Sully carried her into the clinic, they had already forgiven her. All, except for Dorothy Jennings, of course. Sensing that the mood had shifted in favor of Dr. Quinn, the red-haired woman didn't speak out loud what was on her mind, "It serves her right, why had she needed to go out there to those savages in the first place? Well, she'll have enough time for her "good deeds"… Hopefully a doctor will answer our advertisement soon."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Although Michaela didn't really notice anything about what was happening to and around her, as soon as she was settled in bed, washed with her favorite soap and clad in a cotton nightgown by Grace, feeling a little hand in hers and sensing Sully's presence, her instincts told her that she was safe and at last a comforting blackness engulfed her.

Word about Dr. Mike being back and awfully sick had spread fast and as soon as Colleen heard the news, she convinced Mr. James to let her go and to excuse her from school for the next several days. It didn't take much time or effort to get his permission and so she rushed towards the clinic as soon as the teacher had nodded.

During the epidemic, Colleen had learned from Dr. Mike about how to use the quinine and immediately started administering it. She also knew which ointments helped to ease breathing and she carefully rubbed it onto the doctor's chest and back. The only things left to do were to wait, pray and hope.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30 

No one could make Sully leave the clinic. He didn't care if it was proper or not, he would only go when Michaela herself told him so and not one second earlier. He put two cots into the room next to the sickbay and then went downstairs to look after Wolf while Colleen sponged Michaela's feverish brow under the watchful eyes of Hannah.

As Sully opened the door to step out onto the porch, he stopped abruptly, astonished at what he saw. The crowd still lingered in front of the clinic and it was obvious that the mood had changed again. As soon as the doctor had been carried inside, someone had asked why she wore an Indian dress. The speculations had grown wild and when Sully came outside, Hank instantly demanded, "Is it some Injun sickness? Then ya better take her out of town again!"

Sully knew he had to think quickly. If he mentioned the dog soldiers, the army would go out to the reservation for sure. They never needed much of a reason to slaughter Indians. If they found out how the renegades had forced a white woman to go with them, that would be the only motive the soldiers needed to pay the Cheyenne a visit. Sully tried to keep his tone even when he replied, "Thanks for being concerned, Hank. I'm sure, Michaela will appreciate that."

This wasn't the answer people wanted to hear and an angry murmur arose. Before the situation could get out of control, the reverend chimed in. "We all are really concerned, Sully. If Dr. Mike has something infectious…"

Sully had decided to tell them as little as possible and cut the clergyman off, "Michaela was lost; she was out in the rain and cold for a few days. Now she has a high fever, that's all."

"Are ya sure 'bout that?" Jake was still suspicious. As the mayor he was responsible for the folks in town and at the moment, he felt very important. "We don't need another grippe."

"Jake," Sully took a deep breath to steady his voice. Although he didn't exactly lie, he hated to be untruthful. However, he needed to convince everyone and hoped that Michaela would understand that he made her look rather clumsy, "Michaela had to see a patient at a place she'd never been before and on her way she got stuck in a thunderstorm. I found her only yesterday."

Chris felt how Amanda moved at his side to join the discussion and hastily gripped her arm to stop her. Astonished, she looked up at him and noticing her fiancé's furrowed brow, she remained silent although she didn't like it. Growing immensely curious, she decided to return to that topic later on.

Sully avoided looking at anyone in particular as he emphasized, "She's just exhausted and needs her rest."

For the townsfolk, Sully seemed to be sincere and as far as they knew him, he was as good as his word and so the crowd at last dispersed. Only Chris and Amanda remained for a moment but Sully didn't have any intention of giving explanations right now and after exchanging an understanding look with the teacher and making sure that Wolf was nowhere to be seen, Sully entered the clinic again to resume his vigil next to Michaela's bed.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

On her way back into consciousness, Michaela met fleeting images that didn't make much sense to her: the dead eyes of an Indian… a cave… a horse ride and… Sully. While she woke more and more, Michaela tried to figure out what had happened and… where was she? A familiar sound made her feel like being at home and finally, her eyelids fluttered open. Her gaze met the ceiling of the recovery room in her clinic but she was sure that she heard the light snoring of Hannah. Was her daughter sick? Why was she herself sleeping then, she should take care of her little girl! Something about the situation didn't feel right…

Carefully, Michaela turned her head towards the sound until she at last saw Hannah peacefully sleeping on a cot right next to her bed. The little girl lay on her back, holding the bunny securely tucked under her right arm. Her daughter seemed to be all right at the moment, but why was it so strenuous for her when she just attempted to move her head to the other side? At last Michaela had made it and the sight her eyes met puzzled her even more. There sat Sully on a chair, his head propped up against the wall, his eyes closed. What was he doing here?

"Sully?" Michaela's voice was hoarse from not speaking for two days. She tentatively reached out to touch his hand and reiterated more sincerely, "Sully?"

Sensing her touch, his eyes shot open. He immediately took her hand in his and bent towards her, whispering with sheer joy in his tone, "Michaela!"

However, Michaela was still in bewilderment. "Sully, what happened?"

For a moment, he didn't know what to do. What should he tell her? How much of it? After glancing at Hannah to see if she was still asleep, Sully carefully changed from the chair onto the edge of Michaela's bed. His thumb caressed the back of her hand as he informed her, "You had a fever. Cloud Dancing couldn't help you and so I brought you here."

Obviously, his brother's name had stirred something inside of her because he could see how her look changed.

Indeed, the mentioning of the medicine man's name flooded Michaela's mind with unbidden memories. The last thing she could remember clearly though, was that a dog soldier had threatened her with a knife on her neck…

Seeing her terrified look, Sully hastily assured her, "You're safe now, you're safe." He wanted to take her in his arms so badly but he didn't know how far back she could remember or if she would even allow it. So he came up with something practical, "Since you're awake, you should start to eat. You haven't had anything for days, just a little honey…"

Startled, because he feared he had said too much, he hastily placed a kiss to her knuckles before he rose saying, "I'll go to Grace, she offered to bring you some soup as soon as you…"

Michaela couldn't explain it but she felt that she needed him at her side and sensed something akin panic rising in her chest with the thought he might leave. Without thinking, she interrupted him and asked almost fearfully, "Will you come back?"

"'Course I will." He smiled reassuringly down at her and then he couldn't resist pressing his lips against her now cool brow. "I'll be back in no time."

When Sully stepped out on the clinic porch, he stood there for a moment and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath of the crisp morning air and silently thanked the spirits that Michaela would make it. He would take care that she got everything she needed to regain her strength. Michaela's reaction on hearing Cloud Dancing's name worried him though, more than he wanted to admit. What if she wasn't able to resume her work at the reservation, to resume her friendship with the people of his family?

Grace had saved some soup for the moment Dr. Mike would wake up and so Sully came back with the food only ten minutes later. When he entered the recovery room again, he couldn't help but grin; Hannah's head lay on Michaela's chest and seeing her father, the little girl lifted her index finger to her lips and informed him with a huge grin on her face, "Shh, ma's seepin'!" Her ma had talked to her and she knew that everything would be fine again.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The next two days Michaela spent in bed; even if she had wanted to, she wasn't able to get up yet. She still fell asleep quite often, but her sleep was a healing one.

As soon as the townsfolk had heard the news that the doctor was out of the woods, people calmed down. First because that meant they didn't have a deathly Indian illness in town and second because they were glad that they had their doc back.

Grace provided everyone in the clinic with food. She refused to take any money; she said that this was her way of thanking Dr. Mike for giving her business a boost with the daily lunch for the children at school.

Speaking of school, of course Chris was a visitor as well. The only thing the teacher regretted later was that he had brought his fiancée. Although things had been back to almost normal between them, there still lingered uneasiness beneath the surface. When the two of them entered the recovery room on Thursday evening, Chris smiled about the scene before him. Dr. Quinn sat in bed, propped up against several pillows with her hands lying clasped on top of the quilt. Sully, sitting on Hannah's cot, held his daughter, who was enthusiastically reading from her birthday book, on his lap. The little girl stopped though when she saw the new visitors and grinned happily. Her world was all right at the moment, her ma would be well again and her pa hadn't left them until now. Reveling in the moment, the little girl didn't think about that things might change any time.

Chris was relieved to see the doctor in good spirits, although still weak. He said, "I'm glad you are better, Dr. Mike."

"I have a great team, it wouldn't be polite to not get better under those circumstances," was her playful reply.

At this moment, Colleen squeezed past her teacher and Miss Miller and was absolutely serious as she said, "You gotta rest, Dr. Mike. It is not good for you to…"

Michaela nodded and softly responded, "Just a minute, then I'll lie down again, all right?"

"If it's really only a minute…" the girl grumbled good-naturally and turned to leave again.

Amanda was determined not to go before she finally got an answer to her question that she hadn't been allowed to ask yet and so she spoke out before anyone could hold her back again, "How come you got lost? Why don't you know your surroundings by now after living here for so long?"

Chris was highly embarrassed, why did Amanda always try to make Dr. Mike look as if she was incompetent? Seeing that the doctor questioningly raised her eyebrows at Sully, the teacher knew that there was much more going on than just her being lost. He hastily grasped for Amanda's arm to drag her out of the room, but Michaela assured him, "It's all right, Chris."

Then she turned towards the young woman and her soft tone belied her words when she replied, "Maybe it is because I'm the town's and the reservation's only doctor. Maybe it is more important to me to know the newest medical treatments than to take a walk. Maybe I rather ride out to my patients than look for some adventures in the woods. Does that answer your question?"

Before Amanda could respond, Chris had dragged her out of the room. He shortly came back though and before he closed the door he apologized, "I'm sorry, Dr. Mike, Sully. I'll come back sometime tomorrow, alone."

When the teacher was gone, Michaela directed her gaze back at Sully. Seeing his remorseful expression, she quietly told him, "Don't worry, I understand, Sully, but I have to know what you told them so we can both stick to the same story."

Relieved that she wasn't angry, Sully complied.

On Friday, Michaela managed to persuade Sully into leaving her room for some fresh air. She couldn't convince her daughter though and so Sully paid Robert E. a visit and talked with him about the addition for the school and the equipment for the clinic. Sully assured his friend that he didn't want to take his job away but asked him to leave the one room for him that Michaela would use as her private one.

After his talk with Robert E., Sully went back to the clinic only to be friendly thrown out again, this time by Charlotte who assured him that both his women slept peacefully. In the mean time, Sully decided to ride out to the reservation and inform Cloud Dancing that Michaela was recovering.

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After two more days being pampered by Charlotte, Colleen, Grace and not to forget Sully, no one could hold Michaela back from leaving the clinic. Although this building was her house, she finally wanted to be at home and that was out at the homestead. Hannah was delighted as well and in the evening, it didn't need more than two lines of a bedtime story until the little girl was fast asleep.

It had been a sunny day and it was still warm outside. Michaela and Sully hoped that sitting on their familiar place on the porch step might ease the awkwardness they felt since they were practically alone for the first time after the incident. Both had things on their minds they needed to talk about, and Michaela was the first one who gathered the courage to speak. Sitting next to Sully, she gazed down on her folded hands on her lap and swallowed hard before she began, "I want to apologize, Sully."  
His head instantly shot up to look at her; this had been the last thing he had expected her to say. In bewilderment he asked, "Why do you think you have to apologize?"

"Because I put Hannah in danger…" Michaela whispered and fought hard to keep the threatening tears under control.

"Michaela!" Sully was incredulous, "That ain't been your fault!"

But she shook her head and insisted, "I should have talked to Snowbird before I left, I'm sure she would have told me not to go. Hannah must have been terrified all alone out there…" Again she trailed off, the remorse she felt for everything her daughter had endured weighed heavily on her.

"Michaela," Sully's voice was tender, "Look at me." When she didn't react, he gently guided her head with his fingertips until he could gaze into her tear-brimmed eyes. "Ya walked into a trap, ya couldn't know it. Nothin' of what had happened was your fault."

Seeing the sincerity and love in his eyes, Michaela relaxed somewhat. She let herself sink against his shoulder and while he laid his arm around hers, she looked down again. She didn't want to pry into his personal life if he didn't give her the information of his own accord, but she had to know why Flying Sun wanted her to die; was it because she was a white woman in general or… She had to know it; if it had been something personally, then she could live with it and resume her work at the reservation, but if it was something out of principle… "Sully?"

"Hm?" he mumbled absent-mindedly, caught in his own troubled thoughts. He couldn't believe that Michaela felt guilty and there were so many questions he wanted to ask. He needed to know about what had happened at the dog soldiers' camp but also how much she remembered about their trip back to the reservation… Suddenly he became aware that she had started to ask him something but had grown silent again. He pulled her into his embrace a little tighter, "Tell me."

Before she could have second thoughts, she tentatively came out with it, "What do you think… Why did she do that?"

She didn't dare to look at him and missed how his face contoured in the pain of the knowledge that he had been the reason. His voice cracked when he admitted, "It's been my fault. I let her keep my necklace and I still have her dream catcher. That made her think we could have a future although I told her that I just wanna be her friend…"

Again Michaela amazed him; he felt her relax in his arms. He had expected anger or jealousy or something like that.

But actually, Michaela was indeed relieved; Sully's statement meant that the incident hadn't been a matter between the Indians and the whites but a personal affair… "Sully, I'd like to ask you a favor."

Curiously, he looked at her with an affectionate smile. "Anything, just ask."

"When you ride out to the reservation the next time, would you please tell Cloud Dancing…" Michaela stopped because she felt Sully tensing up. Puzzled, she looked at him, "Sully?"

Sully swallowed hard, he had feared that moment. He knew though, that deep down he had made his decision that Michaela and Hannah were his life, he only wished Michaela would understand that he still needed to see his Indian family and that she wouldn't feel bad about it. He had to clear his throat before he was able to speak. "Don't worry, Cloud Dancing understands, we already talked about it."

Her puzzlement grew. "Talked about what?"

"We understand if you won't come out to the reservation anymore, we just hoped…" Sully was startled as she abruptly turned away from him. "Michaela? We understand, really."

Odd enough, these words, meant as a reassurance, seemed to upset her even more. Sully tried to pull her close again, but she resisted. She had thought he knew her better than that. As if she didn't know the difference between the Indians as a nation and a single Indian woman that had tried to harm her! Disappointment was a far too weak word to describe her emotion right now. However, she had promised herself to always tell him what she felt and so she at last turned back, replying, "No, you don't. I would never blame all Indians for the action of one of them…" Noticing Sully's troubled expression, she hastily added, "I only wanted you to tell Cloud Dancing that I might need a week until I'm strong enough to ride out…" Her last words were muffled by Sully's chest, because he had pulled her tightly against him.

His breathe was hot against her neck as he breathed against her ear, "I'm sorry, you're right, I shoulda known it… I just wanted to be prepared if worst came to worst… I'm sorry… I love you so much…"

Michaela instantly melted, and being so close to him brought back another memory. She felt her cheeks grow hot and as Sully bent back to look at her, he noticed the blush on her cheeks. His face lit up and his voice was tender when his eyes searched hers, "What?"

If possible, her blush deepened when she asked, "Did I wear your shirt at some point?"

Sully's smile broadened, he brought his hand to her cheek as he replied, "Yeah, and ya looked really cute in it," and he tenderly pressed his lips against hers.

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	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Michaela sighed in contentment; she hadn't been here for more than a week and it felt so good to sit behind her desk again! With her hands lying on top of it, she let her gaze roam over the familiar features of every single piece of furniture until her eyes widened in astonishment. She could recognize at least ten jars with preserves on the small table in the far corner of the room. Moved by the obvious interest of some of the townspeople for her well-being, she rose to take a closer look at the gifts. There were peaches from Mrs. Simkin, pears from Widow Flyer and even honey from Mrs. Deaver. Honey… A scene with her and Sully sitting in a cave flashed through her mind and she suddenly remembered it clearly. After she had fallen into the creek, she had woken up in that cave and Sully was there. She wore only her undergarment and Sully's broad chest had even been naked. Blushing heavily, their kiss came to her mind again and how safe she had felt in his embrace…

It wasn't much later when she went to Grace's café with a well-rested Hannah, who had just woken up from a nap, by her side. There weren't many people there and so Michaela immediately spotted Chris sitting at a table all by himself. She chose to join him; however, with each approaching step she could tell that he was in a deep emotional distress. Fortunately, the Cooper family was there as well and bending down to her daughter, Michaela suggested, "Sweetheart, I would like to talk to Uncle Chris for a moment, would you please join Colleen until I call for you?"

Frowning, Hannah looked at her ma; she didn't like to be separated from her. Judging the distance between the two tables and seeing the pleading look in her mother's eyes, she at last nodded and then hesitantly let go of her ma's hand.

"Thank you, sweetheart." Michaela gave her a peck on the cheek while stroking her hair and then straightened again. Looking over at Charlotte, she asked, "Would you, please…" and Colleen instantly sprang up from her chair to lead the little girl over to them.

Turning back, Michaela saw that the teacher hadn't noticed her yet. She kept her voice low as to not startle him, "Chris, would you mind me sitting with you for a minute?"

He seemed to come back from a place far away when his troubled eyes flew to hers. "Of course not. It is nice to see you."

Directing his gaze back at his cup, he took a deep breath while squeezing the cup as if he wanted to squash it between his hands. He remained silent though and since Michaela didn't want to press him, they sat without saying a word for a few minutes.

After taking another deep breath, Chris at last started to speak in a cracked voice. "She is gone, Dr. Mike. She took the morning coach."

Surprised, Michaela looked at him fully. She had secretly wondered how Chris could put up with Amanda, but she would never have talked about that to anyone. It hadn't only been because of the rather rude behavior against her but also the way the young woman acted around Sully, even when Chris was present… But of course this was none of her business and so she quickly dismissed these thoughts again. It was obvious that Chris suffered and so her only reply was, "I'm really sorry to hear that."

Chris gave her a weak, appreciating smile when he responded, "Thank you, Dr. Mike."

After another pause, the words just tumbled out of his mouth. "We had an argument after we visited you at the clinic. One word led to the other and then I asked her why she even wanted to be with me… She said she liked to be in this place, that she wanted to help me at school… that she hoped to make new friends…" He glanced at the doctor; they both knew which friend in particular she meant. Seeing the compassion in Michaela's eyes, he let his gaze drop again and continued, whispering now, "That she wanted to be my wife, raising our children…"

As to understand his next words, Michaela had to strain to hear them, "But she never said that she wanted to be with me because she loved me… I asked her and so she added the words… as if she had forgotten to tell me that she liked the weather here…"

He fell silent again and Michaela's heart went out to him. Comfortingly, she laid her hand on his that still clutched the cup, "I'm really sorry, Chris, I wish I could help you."

The teacher sadly smiled at her, "Thank you, Dr. Mike."

"I really wish you would call me Michaela, Chris."

His face lit up a tiny bit when he locked eyes with her, "Thank you, Michaela. I really appreciate that."

It was this scene Sully saw when he bent around the corner in search of his two women. Not that he was jealous, but…

"Michaela!" Sully's call broke her connection with Chris and she turned to watch the man she loved approaching. Seeing him, brought instantly back to her mind what she had remembered in her examination room and her cheeks grew hot.

Since Sully didn't know the reason for her blushing, he felt a little pang; had he interrupted something he should be worried about? Recognizing Michaela's love for him in her unique eyes, he quickly dismissed that thought. After a nod in the teacher's direction he said, "I think it's time to get ya home."

Michaela rolled her eyes playfully, Sully had been very watchful that she didn't overdo it. However, secretly she loved every minute they spent together and so she hastily rose assuring Chris, "Whenever you need to talk, I'll be there."

"Thank you, Michaela."

Another pang hit Sully hearing the other man saying her name but he stoically decided to ignore it. There was no reason for him to fear that Michaela could be interested in the teacher, and not only because he was engaged…

Only a few minutes later, they were on their way to the homestead and Sully still tried to sort his thoughts. He didn't notice that Michaela struggled for a decision if she should tell him. This was quite an embarrassing memory and she wasn't sure how Sully would react… Hannah, who had made herself comfortable on her ma's lap, lived in her own world looking at the landscape and was just happy to be with her most favorite people.

Finally, Michaela had made up her mind. Sully had seemed to be happy when she told him about the shirt, and all she could do was hope that he hadn't minded taking her in his arms when she had asked him to. "Sully?" she tentatively touched his arm. Although it was covered with layers of fabric and leather this time, it was as if she could see and feel the tanned skin and the soft hair again. She couldn't control the reaction of her body and so her face grew hot once again.

"What?" Sully snapped out of his thoughts, and turning his head, he saw the uncertainty in her eyes and the color of her cheeks. When she averted her eyes he wondered what might have caused that reaction.

"Tell me." His voice was tender and Michaela at last summoned up the courage to speak, "Earlier, at the clinic… Well… I remembered something…"

Sully wanted to smile but he didn't. He knew that only their time in the cave was still missing. The other pieces she had already put together as much as she was able, considering the feverish state she had been in. He shifted the reins in his left hand and stilled Michaela's hand that was nervously fiddling with a button of her leather coat. "Hey," his voice was even softer than the moment before, "It's just me. Tell me."

Michaela glanced at him and seeing his blue eyes shining with only love for her, she blushed even deeper and admitted, "I remember the cave, how we… sat with each other." She paused a moment before she added, whispering, "How safe I felt…"

Sully beamed. He wanted to pull her into his arms and show her that she could feel that way any time she wanted to… But their daughter broke the moment, asking with excited astonishment, "You in cave?"

Ruffling the little girl's hair, her father nodded, "Yeah, we were in a cave and it was really great there."

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Hannah stood next to the large bed, the bunny tucked under her right arm, watching her ma sleeping. She contemplated what to do, she wanted to help her ma the best she could. She had been a big girl so far; she had dressed and even was at the outhouse all by herself. That hadn't been easy, and not only because of the big steps. Although this was her home, running through the deserted yard had made her heart pound wildly. Fortunately, Wolf had appeared and accompanied her until she was back at the door of the homestead. And now she was hungry, but preparing breakfast was a too big task.

At last the little girl made up her mind, she took the bunny back to her cot and covered him with her quilt. Then she scampered back to her ma's bed and carefully climbed up. Hannah decided to check how deep her ma still slept; she had seen her ma doing that with her patients several times. Cautiously, she lifted one of her ma's lids and peered into the uncovered brown eye. When her ma didn't blink, she examined the almost green eye the same way. Finally, he ma crinkled her nose and looked back at her.

Michaela couldn't help but smile although she felt as if she could still sleep at least two more hours. However, seeing her daughter hovering over her, she woke up fully. "Good morning, sweetheart. I'm sorry, it looks as if I slept in again."

Although she had recovered well, the doctor in her was concerned because of a tiredness that just didn't want to leave her body. However, now she had to take care of Hannah who still smiled down at her. With a sudden move, she pulled her daughter down against her body and whispered into her ear, "I got you!" which made the little girl giggle happily.

They sat at the breakfast table when Sully joined them. He first greeted Michaela with a peck on the cheek, which made her blush because he looked at her with a hunger that no breakfast could satisfy. Then he turned to his daughter to give her a peck as well. However, as he bent down he noticed that his little girl wore her apron with the back on the front side. Questioningly, he raised an eyebrow at her and Michaela smilingly explained, "She was already dressed when she woke me."

Hannah confirmed her ma's words with a nod, "I'm big girl."

"You sure are." Sully tenderly stroked her blond locks before he sat down at the head of the table across from Michaela.

After that light moment, the adults shared a concerned look. They had agreed last night that they had to talk to Hannah together about them going out to the reservation again, and they had decided to leave it up to her as to whether she would join them or not.

"Sweetheart…"

As soon as Hannah heard her mother talk in her serious tone, she grew frightened. Would her ma vanish again? Or would Pa go out for another hunt? She didn't want them to leave; she needed them close.

Seeing the anxious look on her daughters face, Michaela beckoned her to come over and sit on her lap. The little girl hurriedly complied and waited with her heart racing to hear what her ma would say.

"Sweetheart," Michaela reiterated after she thought her daughter was comfortable enough to listen, "Your pa and I will go out to the reservation after breakfast. We wanted…"

She couldn't finish her sentence because instantly, Hannah clung on to her neck, "No, pease!"

Michaela felt the little body shake with fear, rendering her helpless for a moment as a feeling of guilt flooded through her again. If she had been more carefully… "Oh Sweetheart!" She rocked the little girl tenderly. She had noticed with growing concern that Hannah flatly refused to leave her side most of the time. It had been no problem the last few days because she hadn't officially started working at the clinic yet; she had only done some paperwork. But next week, she would resume her work as the town's doctor…

Sully's heart ached seeing his daughter's reaction. He had wanted her to feel at home at the Cheyenne village but now, he wasn't sure if that could ever happen. Feeling helpless at the moment he hoped that Michaela was able to find a way to get through the wall of fear that surrounded his little girl at the moment. He secretly heaved a sigh of relief as Michaela actually made another effort to make Hannah understand that they had to resume their normal life.

"Sweetheart, please look at me." After a few moments of hiding from all the things she never wanted to go through again by firmly keeping her eyes closed, the little girl complied.

Michaela gently brushed her daughter's blond hair from her brow and locked eyes with her. "Do you remember when you broke your leg because you fell from that big chair?" Tentatively and unsure what her ma wanted to say, the little girl nodded.

Michaela smiled reassuringly and continued, "It was a very comfortable chair, right?" After another nod in response she went on, "I'm sure, if we had that chair here right now, you would love to sit in it."

Hannah smiled; it had been nice to snuggle up against the soft leather and the high back of the chair. Relaxing, she listened as her ma continued, "But I'm sure you would never climb onto its armrests again." The little girl vehemently shook her head.

"Good." Michaela hugged her daughter closer. "That's the way we learn, sweetheart. When we did something wrong, we don't do it again, but that doesn't mean that we stop appreciating the good things." For a moment, she paused and prayed silently that she would be strong enough to manage what she would say next. "This is the same way. I still like the reservation and my friends there, but I will be more careful. So, what do you think? Will you come with us and see your friends? If not, we will ask Colleen's ma to look after you. We won't be angry no matter what you want to do."

Hannah considered her ma's words. She was right, there were two girls and a boy she liked to play with, it would be nice to see them again… And she liked Cloud Dancing and Snowbird, but what about that woman who had sent her ma away? Her pa liked her…

Hannah's brow furrowed with the last thought and her head turned towards her father. It was as if Michaela could read the little girl's thoughts and she stood quiet. This was Sully's turn.

And he took it. He fished in his jacket pocket for an item, finally producing the dream catcher. Lifting it, he told his daughter, "I want you and your ma to be with me when I give this back."

"You give back?" The little face lit up when her father sincerely nodded. Hannah couldn't explain it, but she felt as if she could breathe again. She knew now that her pa would look only after her ma out there, and that allowed her to make a quick decision. She would go with them the next time, but for now, she felt better if she was with Colleen's ma. Maybe they could meet Grandpa in the meadow…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

When they reached the edge of the village, Sully pulled the horses to a halt. He had felt Michaela's tension grow with every yard they came closer to the reservation. However, he was careful not to jump to conclusions this time and so he simply asked, "Ya ready?"

If she wanted to talk about whatever lay on her heart, she would do it on her own accord and if she wanted to turn back, she would say that as well.

The ride through the woods had brought back unwanted memories. Michaela knew that she would have to deal with them sometime, but for now she had to concentrate on the upcoming talk with Cloud Dancing. She was glad that Sully hadn't asked her about the dog soldiers yet, she was sure though that the medicine man would. However, she wasn't alone and so she straightened in her seat, lifted her chin and at last replied, "I am."

Sully smiled, "Good." Before he urged the horses on, he shortly laid his hand reassuringly over the tightly clasped hands on her lap.

The rumbling wagon instantly roused the Indians' attention and when Sully stopped the horse in front of his brother's tent, seemingly the whole tribe was already gathered there. Michaela looked down at the faces of men, women and children. Some were curious, some didn't show any emotion at all but most of them seemed to be pleased to see her again. She was glad though when she finally stood on the ground next to Sully who led her through the crowd to his friend.

The medicine man watched the white woman approaching and as soon as she stood in front of him, he took her hands in his. Gently squeezing them, he welcomed her, "It is good to see you, Dr. Mike. Thank you for coming out here again."

Michaela didn't feel comfortable being the center of attention, but sensing the Indian's apology in his words, she momentarily forgot her discomfort. Reciprocating his handshake, her words were sincere, "We live in difficult times, Cloud Dancing. Nothing of that what has happened was your fault. Actually, I want to thank you for helping me when Sully first brought me back here."

The medicine man nodded but replied, "I couldn't help you."

He was astonished when he saw a little smile lightening Michaela's face as she responded, "But you did. Sully told me that you gave me fever tea and your wife cleaned my scratches. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't done that."

Since he had met her for the first time, Cloud Dancing had known that this woman was someone very special. So he refrained from telling her that he was sorry that his ceremony hadn't worked but acknowledged her words with a nod and took on step backwards to make room for his wife. Smiling shyly, Snowbird stepped towards her friend and it was obvious that she had something important to say. "We want to thank you, Dr. Mike, for everything you have done for us. We know that you lost your horse and so we have a gift."

A young Indian woman led a very small sorrel with a blaze towards them and while Snowbird took the reins to put them into Michaela's hands she explained, "Her name is Eh-Waha-Sih. It means Flash in the Sky. I chose her for you."

Michaela was instantly drawn to the horse. She lovingly stroked her face and couldn't help but smile. She instantly sobered again though; she knew how valuable the animals were for the Indians and so she replied, "She is beautiful… But it's not necessary…"

Before she could say more, Sully stepped closer and softly explained, "If ya turn down a gift, you insult her and her people. She's giving you something she loves in front of all of them to show respect."

Michaela glanced at him and recognizing the importance of the moment, she corrected herself, "Thank you, I'm honored."

Snowbird's smile broadened when she saw Dr. Mike affectionately stroking the little horse.

As much as Cloud Dancing wanted to revel in the happy moment, he had to end it. "Dr. Mike, Black Kettle wants to talk to you."  
Michaela nodded, she had expected it. Smiling at Snowbird she asked her to take care of Flash until she was back and hugged her friend briefly before she followed the medicine man with Sully in tow.

A fire in its center dimly lighted the teepee of the Cheyenne's chief. Two elders stood with Black Kettle in the back, opposite the entrance and awaited the white woman. When the medicine man opened the flap to show her in, Michaela felt somewhat frightened by sensing the power, both mental and physical, that radiated from the men. Sully, who was right behind her, saw how she tensed up and laid his hand reassuringly on the small of her back, guiding her to the fire. As soon as they reached it, Black Kettle gestured for all of them to sit down.

He waited until everyone sat comfortable and then he began to speak in Cheyenne, directly looking into Michaela's eyes. When he paused, Cloud Dancing translated. "We are sorry for what you had to endure because of one member of our tribe. We are relieved to see you back but we have to know what happened since one of our sons is riding with Dark Oak."

Michaela swallowed. She knew that she owed them the whole truth and so she started her report, pausing now and then to give Cloud Dancing time to translate her words. She told them about their ride to the camp, how she had found and treated the sick. Suddenly, Black Kettle lifted his hand to stop her and gestured for the medicine man to ask her, "Did they give you food?"

Michaela shoulders slumped down; she could feel the gnawing hunger again and simply answered, "No."

"Did they give you water?"

"No."

For a moment, all the men in the tent looked at Michaela, each with a sense of shame over how the renegades had treated her. But there was one question left. "How come they let you go?"

Michaela took a deep breath. Actually, she was glad that this question had come up because she wanted to know that herself. She thought it would be best to describe to them the situation and so she began. "… And when Dark Oak had his knife on my neck, he suddenly stopped and stared at these."

She pulled at the leather string around her neck and showed them the beads. The men nodded in understanding and seeing the medicine woman's questioning look, Cloud Dancing explained, "Three beads mean that you are untouchable. That someone protects you." Michaela glanced at Sully but she couldn't read his expression.

Sully fought hard to keep his composure. The woman who meant the world to him had to endure that torture because of him. He had been blind regarding Flying Sun; he had never thought that she would be able to do something so horrible to another human being. Sending Michaela away with the dog soldiers had meant sentencing her to death. Any flicker of hope that he could continue his friendship with the Indian woman who once had helped to save his life was dashed by now. Suddenly he became aware that his brother talked to him. His head shot up to meet his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't hear you…"

Patiently Cloud Dancing reiterated, "Did you know what they meant?" Following the medicine man's gaze, Sully looked at his beads on Michaela's palm.

Astonished, he shook his head, "No."

"Then this is a sign of the spirits."

Although Michaela had assumed it, now knowing that it had been Sully's beads which saved her life, made her feel incredibly loved. It didn't matter to her that he hadn't been aware of the meaning of his gift; all that mattered was the realization that he had saved her twice, first from the knife of the renegade and then from being lost in the woods. All she wished right now was to be in his arms.

Sully saw it the other way around, his heart swelled with joy knowing that she had gained strength from his beads, that she had trusted him. All he wanted right now was to pull her into his arms. Since he couldn't do it at this very moment, he grasped her hand and held it securely in his.

Suddenly, the flap of the teepee flew open and two Indians roughly shoved Flying Sun into the tent. All of the Indians rose to their feet and Sully immediately helped Michaela up as well.

Black Kettle waited for them to stand before giving instructions to the young woman.

Michaela grew extremely uncomfortable, she didn't know what to expect. Flying Sun at last turned towards her and looked at her with a blank expression on her face when she began to speak, "I want to apologize…"

Michaela instantly cut her off. "I don't want and don't need your apology. You didn't shatter my trust but rather the faith that Sully always had in you. You owe him an apology, not me."

Flying Sun let her eyes drop as they filled with tears finally acknowledging this truth. For the first time in her life Michaela didn't feel guilty that she had embarrassed someone in front of other people. Since the Indians didn't react, she assumed that she hadn't broken any of their customs. But she was startled as she noticed that Sully had let go of her hand. Yet a few moments later she was set at ease, watching Sully fumble for the dream catcher. She would never forget what he did next.

First, he stepped towards the woman he had once called his friend. He reached out his hand with the dream catcher and said, "I don't wanna have anything from you. No gift, no friendship, no word, nothing. I'm done with you." With tears streaming down her face, Flying Sun took the dream catcher back and ceased to exist for Sully.

Then he turned towards the elders and his voice was hoarse when he spoke to them. "When I was lost, you made me a part of your family and the Cheyenne will always be my family. But I have to move on. I wanna build my own home. I have a smart and beautiful daughter and I wanna be her father. But there's something else. I met an incredible woman. She made me feel again and I know I can't go on without her."

The Indians nodded in understanding and Sully stepped slowly back to Michaela. Standing in front of her, he lifted her right hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles. Then he peered into her eyes and mouthed, "I love you."

Michaela was overwhelmed by her feelings for this man. She couldn't control her heartbeat and felt her hand trembling in his. Sully never let go of her though and when he turned back to the elders of his family, he gave his most important statement. He covered the place on his chest where he could feel a steady beat under his palm with his right hand and told them with his voice cracking, "She's my heartsong."


	32. Chapter 32

Epilogue

Michaela sat at her desk at the clinic waiting for Hannah to wake up from her nap. She used the time to finish a couple of patient files, but she couldn't concentrate on her task. Earlier, she had filled up her medical bag and seeing Sully's beads had distracted her so much that several minutes passed without her even realizing that she was still staring at them, lying in front of her. Absent-mindedly, she touched the round forms as the last few weeks went through her mind. She had never been so happy in her entire life, not even when she had been presented with her medical degree. Since Sully had told his Cheyenne family that he wanted to build a home with her, they had resumed their old familiar routine. Sully would come early in the morning, doing the chores in the barn and tending to the animals. Then the three of them had breakfast and after that, they went to town. Sully took care of the addition for the schoolhouse and helped Robert E. with the rooms in the clinic while she saw her patients. They spent some afternoons together, exploring the woods, while evenings were spent at the homestead. It hadn't rained lately and so they sat on their porch step each night. While they waited for Hannah to fall asleep, they talked about the day and shared tender kisses. Michaela couldn't quite grasp it but there was something new in Sully's caresses… All she could tell was that she felt incredibly loved.

However, despite her being happy beyond all measures, Michaela couldn't deny the anxiety that kept growing slowly but steadily inside of her. If Sully had made his confession of love in front of her family in Boston, they would have been engaged for sure by now, but he hadn't asked her yet. Even more, it didn't look as if he had the intention to do so. Of course she trusted him; their situation wasn't comparable with the one between her and David when she had thought that he would ask for her hand, but still…

Sully had knocked and even entered the examination room without Michaela noticing it. He watched her fingering his beads, lost in thoughts. He could tell that something was worrying her and of course he knew what it was. However, he couldn't propose yet, and although he had something special for her, he didn't have a ring. Well technically he had one, but he couldn't give her Abigail's ring. He didn't want Michaela to feel as if she just replaced his late wife because that wasn't true. He had never known the kind of love he felt for Michaela, he hadn't even known that the feelings he had for her existed at all.

A few days ago, he had received a letter… maybe he should take the offer and earn the money and when he came back, he could propose and present her with a ring she deserved. On the other hand, he couldn't leave again, at least not right now. Maybe when things had settled down and she felt secure enough in their relationship… Michaela would understand that he needed a job when he had a family and wanted to build them a house. He would make sure to come back as often as he could.

As he stepped closer to the desk, a floorboard creaked. Michaela's head shot up and she met his eyes. Seeing him standing there made her blush heavily and she hastily put the beads back into her medical bag. A fleeting smile crossed Sully's face; she still acted as if it was wrong to show him her feelings. As she asked out of the blue, "You do love me?" he knew that she didn't need a ring but his word. At this moment he made his decision and assured her, "'Course I do, I'm telling you."

A memory caught up with them; several weeks ago they had that sort of discussion about the meaning of words, only now, no one was angry. Sully finally closed the distance between them and lifted her hand from the desk to press a kiss to its back. He peered into her eyes as he told her, "I love ya," and the color on Michaela's cheeks even deepened.

Taking the awkwardness out of the moment Sully asked, "Hanna's still sleeping?" Michaela nodded and started to rise from her chair but he tenderly stopped her by laying his hand on her shoulder, saying, "You finish here and I'll get her."

He needed to have a word with his daughter and he didn't want Michaela to know what it was about.

A few moments later he entered the room that Michaela had decided to make her private one in the clinic. He smiled with the memory of her reaction when she had first seen it after he had redecorated it for her. She had hugged him tightly and then pressed her lips against his before she whispered into his ear, "Thank you." Only once before had she taken the initiative to kiss him and that had been when she had thought she would never see him again.

Anyway, looking at his daughter who began stirring made him smile again. He stooped down next to the bed he had built for her and gently stroked her soft blond hair from her brow. "Hey, sweet girl."

Hannah's eyes flew open and she beamed at her father. She reached out for him to hug her and he immediately complied. The little girl was happy, she reveled in having both her parents close all the time. Her pa hadn't been out hunting again yet and when he went to look after his traps, he was only away for the day. He even took her and her ma out in the woods to show them things like the tracks the animals left behind or how to make a fire by using special stones or sticks. He had even shown them where he slept. If only life could stay this way! She sighed heavily against her pa's ear so that he straightened again and looked at her questioningly, "Hey, what's the matter?" But the little girl only giggled and asked, "Take a walk?"

It was Sully's turn to sigh now and he hoped that his daughter would understand and not be too disappointed, "I wanna ask ya a favor, sweet girl."

Hannah eagerly sat up and looked at her pa expectantly. He sounded serious, but not in a bad way and so she nodded with shining eyes.

"I wanna take your ma for a walk but I want you to stay in town. I'll ask Colleen if she has time for you or we find someone else." Seeing his daughter's face falling, he explained hastily, "I wanna ask your ma to marry me so we can be a real family…"

His last words were muffled because the little girl had thrown her arms around his neck and nearly choked him while she squealed in delight. For that, she would of course stay back in town!

Although Michaela didn't understand why Sully wanted to take the walk alone with her, she didn't really mind. The longer they walked the more puzzled she grew though. Sully hadn't said one word yet and she felt his hand that continued to hold hers, growing sweaty.

"Sully?" she asked, shyly looking up at him while they kept walking, "Where are we going?"

Sully looked back at her questioning face. It wasn't so that he had second thoughts about asking her but he grew anxious that she might say no. She came from a world where formal things were important. Certainly a question that would change their lives forever deserved a special ceremony… However, if she wanted to share his life here, she wouldn't mind him asking her out in the woods, even without a ring… At least he hoped so.

While Sully still hesitated to respond, Michaela realized that they were on their way to her favorite place; she had failed to recognize it at first because they came from a different direction. Sensing the increase of his tension, she grew nervous herself. What did he have in mind?

"Sully?" Feeling her anxiety, Sully knew he had to set her mind at ease as fast as he could. He halted next to a large oak and smiled reassuringly down at her. Knowing that he no longer needed to answer her question about their destination, he chose instead to recount a memory that was connected to this spot. "When I first saw you… I remember thinkin' you had the most beautiful long brown hair I ever saw…"

His voice trailed off and Michaela gazed at him in bewilderment, "You had time to look at my hair when you were yelling at me?"

Sully chuckled, seeing the astonished expression on her face. He gripped her hand tighter again and pulled her towards the fallen log where they sat down. Sully took her hands in his and began to reveal his secret. "You sat here at this very place when I first saw you. You were leanin' back to let the sun shine on your face. Your hair hung down like a shiny curtain and almost reached the ground. It looked beautiful."

His eyes never left her face while he spoke and so he could watch her emotions changing. Michaela looked almost shy again and that was one thing that amazed him about her. He had thought that such a beautiful woman was used to compliments, but she grew rather uncomfortable than taking pleasure in hearing them. Reassuringly smiling at her, he continued, "I wanted to see ya closer but made a twig snap and so you turned around. I thought you were an angel…" He lifted his hand to tenderly trace the outline of her face with his fingertips.

Feeling the unbelievingly soft touch of his calloused hand, Michaela blushed again and was flooded by her emotions for this man. He was the only person she had ever met who made her feel that she could be herself; she didn't need a façade when she was around him. He had freed her soul. She wished she could show how much she loved him…

Still lost in his loving gaze, Michaela was startled when Sully suddenly broke their connection and slid from the log. When he knelt down in front of her, her heart started to race. Would he actually…?

Sully's hand shook when he fumbled in his pocket for an item before finally producing it. It was a very small wooden box and he explained in a wavering voice, "I made this for you." He took her hand, turned it over and placed the box onto her palm.

Michaela looked at it in amazement, in the lid he had skillfully carved her image! She still didn't know what to think though. The box was just big enough for a ring, but if he wanted to give her a ring, why didn't he slide it on her finger?

Sully watched her admiring his work but he could tell that she grew puzzled again. "Open it," he softly urged her and when she did so, he explained, "It's a turquoise, it promotes healing and good luck."

Michaela looked down at the shining blue gem; it was beautiful. She barely heard Sully's words. Only when he tenderly added, "I wanna put it in your wedding ring," did she lift her gaze to meet his eyes again. Sully sincerely continued, peering into her soul, "I wanna be with you."

Taking a deep breath he amended, "I need to be with you. I'll love you all my days."

The intensity of the emotion in his voice touched her core and when he asked her, "Will you marry me?" she didn't even need a heartbeat to answer him, "Yes."

Sully instantly rose to his feet and Michaela had only time enough to put the box on the log before she felt herself pulled into his arms.

For a moment they stood in a tight embrace, both with their hearts beating wildly but in the same rhythm. Then Sully bent back and he didn't suppress the joy and fervor he felt when he covered her soft lips with his for an earth-shattering kiss. As Michaela reciprocated in kind for the very first time, they both knew it: they were home.

They didn't know that the spirits had chosen that day to be special for them. It was May 20th.


End file.
